Have Gun, Will Shoot Myself

Variety reports that Eminem is planning to star in a big-screen, "contemporary" version of the classic western HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL, which starred Richard Boone as Paladin, a roaming gunfighter-for-hire.

Concept
will be updated to contemporary times and see Eminem playing a bounty
hunter. Setting could be Eminem’s hometown of Detroit, but those
details have yet to be worked out.

[Eminem’s manager Paul] Rosenberg told Daily Variety
that the vehicle will be revamped from the original, with some
characters based loosely on ones from the series as well as nods to
certain story points.

Oh. My. God. This might be even worse than Rutger Hauer’s "contemporary" version of   WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE. I can’t wait to see the Dixie Chicks in a "contemporary" version of BONANZA.

TV Ramblings

God,I love "Deadwood." I liked the season premiere so much, I
immediately watched it again (or I was desperate to avoid getting back
to work on my book). If you ask me, "Deadwood" and "Battlestar
Galactica" …two revisionist "genre" shows…are the best dramas on TV
right now. A close third would be the more conventional but brilliantly
plotted "Law and Order: SVU."

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I ran out of steam writing last night around midnight, but I was still too keyed up to go to bed. So I pulled out the second volume, season one boxed set of THE TIME TUNNEL and looked at a few of the extras. I’m not a fan of THE TIME TUNNEL and probably won’t watch the episodes. I bought the set for the two unsold revival pilots that are included — the unaired, 2002 hour-long THE TIME TUNNEL "reimagining" for Fox (which was flawed but interesting nonetheless) and the 1976 two-hour movie TIME TRAVELERS (which was awful in every way).  The story for TIME TRAVELERS was written by Rod Serling, but I can’t imagine that any of his work remained in the execrable final product. There wasn’t hint of his intelligence, wit or characterization in the script.

THE TIME TUNNEL has a couple of nice extras but no effort is made to present them in any sort of context or with any kind of flair. The whole set feels perfunctory, slapped together with no imagination, creativity or enthusiasm. Which is, of course, the complete opposite of the DVD sets put together by Paul Brownfield.

It Never Entered My Mind

Paramount has reversed course and the season one DIAGNOSIS MURDER boxed set, to be released in September, will now include "It Never Entered My Mind," the pilot which aired as an spin-off episode of JAKE AND THE FATMAN. In the pilot, Dr. Mark Sloan was a widower without any children. His investigative sidekicks were Kristoff St. John  and Ally Walker (as Dr. Amanda Bentley, a role later played by Cynthia Gibb and Victoria Rowell). But it still looks like the set won’t include the TV movies that preceded the weekly series.

The Best

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The best producer of boxed sets of TV shows on DVD is Paul Brownstein. No one else comes close. His love of television is obvious in his brilliant work on DVD sets for shows like THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW, GUNSMOKE and now THE WILD WILD WEST. The prints are terrific, the menus are clever and vibrant, and he goes out of his way to jam-pack his sets with amazing, rare, and informative supplemental material.  His sets have all the usual stuff… and far, far more.  The GUNSMOKE set, for example, includes behind-the-scenes home movies from Dennis Weaver, appearances from James Arness and Dennis Weaver on THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW, an Amanda Blake interview on the MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW, Emmy Award appearances by the cast,  network promos, interviews from The Western Channel, a video of a  GUNSMOKE retrospective held at the Museum of Broadcasting, promos, bloopers, and a huge number of audio commentaries… and I’m only scratching the surface of what’s offered. 

This week, I bought his  THE WILD WILD WEST boxed set and, once again, he’s done incredible work. The set includes all the usual extras and so much more, like audio tracks from the original scoring sessions for the main title theme with alternate versions and aborted takes (a rare find which is worth the price of the set alone),  the original pilot main title sequence, network promos, and audio interviews with the composer, various writers,  the studio casting exec, special effects person. It’s a TV fan’s wet dream.

Some savvy studio should put Paul in charge of ALL their TV boxed sets…because he simply does it better than anybody.

Has “Grey’s Anatomy” Jumped The Shark?

I can usually ride along with the sillier aspects of GREY’S ANATOMY, much the same way I willingly suspend my disbelief and accept CSI techs getting DNA results back in 20 minutes, questioning witnesses, carrying guns, and driving chrome-plated Hummers.  But the season finale of GREY was just too much. 

An article in today’s LA Times analyzes the more outrageous aspects of the story.  Izzie, one of the regular characters, falls in love with Denny, a potential heart-transplant patient, and goes to outrageous lengths to make sure he receives a donor heart:

Izzie then deliberately cuts the pump lines of Denny’s heart’s left
ventricular-assisting device. Emergency cases get priority, and his
deteriorating condition will move him up the transplant list.  But Izzie’s disconnection of Denny’s assistance device (which initially
caused the heart to stop) ultimately leads to his kidney failure.  The other surgical interns learn what is happening, but they don’t report Izzie’s behavior to the supervising resident.

When
the truth comes out, the chief of surgery acknowledges that the
hospital’s accreditation may be in jeopardy, but he takes no action and
Izzie quits on her own. Because of his worsening heart failure, Denny receives the heart that was intended for the other recipient, but dies afterward.

All of this strained believability to the breaking point. Nobody was behaving in a realistic way in a realistic world…yet we aren’t being asked to believe it’s a fantasy world…we’re supposed to accept that it’s real. In other words, this isn’t James Bond, Harry Potter, or  the X-Men, where you know going in the rules of the real world simply don’t apply. The doctors in GREY are supposed to be real interns in a real hospital in the real world. But you’d never know watching the finale:

A prospective heart transplant patient would never sign a Do Not
Resuscitate order — surgeons would not operate on such a patient
because resuscitation may be necessary at any point. Second, if a heart assistance pump were disconnected, a loud alarm would sound.  Third,
interns could never monitor a sick heart patient for such a prolonged
period of time without intervention by at least a nurse, if not a more
senior physician. In the show, the interns watch Denny’s heart stop,
resuscitate him, give him emergency medication — all without
observation or intervention. In real life, such a stunt would be cause
for Izzie’s immediate arrest for attempted murder; the other interns
would likely be kicked out of the residency program.

The upshot, according to common sense and the LA Times:

In fact, the only truly believable scene is the correct use of
phenobarbital to put Dr. Meredith Grey’s dog to sleep because of
incurable bone cancer.

Shuffling the Deck

Now that all the broadcast networks have announced their fall schedules, NBC has reassessed their competitive position and completely reshuffled their lineup. Kevin Reilly, president of NBC Entertainment, told the NY Times:

"It’s unusual for us," Mr. Reilly said of the wholesale changes in the
prime-time lineup. "We go first, and we are fourth. Unusual
circumstances lead to these kinds of measures." Such sweeping changes
in a network’s schedule so soon after it had been announced have
happened rarely, if ever.

[…]NBC ultimately ended up making changes every night except Saturday and Sunday.

The
advantage of shifting so many shows after the advertiser presentations
known as the upfronts was the opportunity to find some weaker spots in
the schedules of CBS, ABC and Fox, Mr. Reilly said.

…which raises the question among some industry observers: Did the network get the jitters or was their initial schedule a fake to begin with?

KUNG FU returns… again

Variety reports that Warner Brothers is mounting a big screen version of the TV series KUNG FU. This is not the first time the studio has tried to wring more money from the cult hit…they did a KUNG FU returns reunion movie with David Carradine, a busted pilot with Brandon Lee (KUNG FU: THE NEXT GENERATION), and a made-in-Canada syndicated series with Carradine and Chris Potter (KUNG FU: THE LEGEND CONTINUES). What makes this development noteworthy, however, is that they haven’t signed either Owen Wilson or Ben Stiller or Colin Farrell to star in it yet.

Bruckheimer is Spelling

CBS has revamped their Sunday schedule, dropping their weekly movie and replacing it with three Jerry Bruckheimer series: AMAZING RACE, COLD CASE and WITHOUT A TRACE. Bruckheimer owns Sunday, which may be the first time a single producer has owned a night of network programming since Aaron Spelling owned ABC’s Saturday with TJ HOOKER, THE LOVE BOAT, FANTASY ISLAND and later with THE LOVE BOAT, FANTASY ISLAND  and FINDERS OF LOST LOVES (though Norman Lear came close with ARCHIE BUNKER’S PLACE, GLORIA, JEFFERSONS, and ONE DAY AT A TIME on CBS Sundays…the last hour going to TRAPPER JOHN MD).

The West Wing Finale…

….is one of the reasons why God invented the "fast forward" button. What a snooze. It’s sad to see a once-great series end so badly (bad move airing the pilot first, it only illustrated how far the show has fallen).  But TV Critic Alan Sepinwall got all choked up and so did Bob Sassone over at TV Squad, who went one step further describing the episode’s obvious and maudlin final scene:

Could you have wished for a more orgasmically satisfying ending? Beautiful.

Dueling Poseidons

Screenwriter Bryce Zabel, who wrote the THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE mini-series, compares and contrasts all three film versions of Paul Gallico’s novel. Among his observations:

All I can say about that is that it’s a good thing that the original
film, my mini-series take and the current feature only used it as a
springboard. It’s not that great and some things in it are just nuts.
Like one of the characters gets raped and feels bad, after the ship
capsizes, for the man who raped her. I’m not sure how that was
acceptable in 1969, but it sure is out of the mainstream in 2006.

UPDATE 5-15-06:  The feature POSEIDON sunk at the boxoffice…and Bryce has some thoughts on that, too.