Film and Television

We’re Doing Little Movies

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It’s the biggest cliches of the TV season. You hear it in almost every interview with a showrunner or a star (particularly movie stars who have moved to TV) hyping their new show:

"This show is like a movie every week."

Or the popular variations:

"We’re doing little movies."

"The entire season is like a 22-episode movie."

"We’re bringing feature film production values, feature film writing, and feature film acting to the TV screen every week."

I wonder how many times we’ll hear it this season ( I’ve already read it in four interviews today, hence the rant). Just once, I’d like to hear them say "We’re doing a really good TV series." What’s so damn impressive about comparing TV to movies? The fact is, what’s on TV these days is a hell of a lot better than what’s in theatres. I’d like to see the cliche turn… and to start hearing feature directors and stars saying:

"This movie is like an entire season of a TV series crammed into 97 minutes."

Inside THE INSIDE

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Theinsiderachel4There’s a fascinating interview with writer Tim Minear at IFMagazine.com  about the development, production, and demise of the short-lived Fox series THE INSIDE (I’ve talked about the series here before). The  show was cursed from the get-go —  two entire pilots for the series were shot and scrapped before they finally got one that worked (maybe that should have been a hint).

"I got a call from the studio the day we were in prep for the second episode and
they had seen the cut, which by the way I don’t think turned out so well, and
said “I really loved the script, why do I not like this.” So I said “give me a
couple million dollars and I’ll go reshoot it myself” and that’s what we did. We
pushed production, started over again, we recast one of the main characters, and
sort of reworked the sets. We had 12 or 14 days of dress rehearsal and I got to
see all the things that didn’t work and had a very short time to rectify those
things. So we went back and reshot most of the pilot, so there really are two
versions of that pilot, not just the 21 JUMP STREET one, that’s a third version
of a different pilot that exists…

…The problem was, if it had only been the Tim Minear/Howard Gordon version of THE
INSIDE that we had to reshoot large parts of the pilot for, that would have been
one thing. But we had already come in redesigning, reconfiguring and trying to
salvage something else called THE INSIDE that they already spent a year on with
the same actress."

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the television business.

Battle of the Network Stars

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Variety reports that Paramount is launching a big-screen version of the cheesy 70s reality show "Battle of the Network Stars."
 

Etan
Cohen is writing the script, and Jimmy
Miller will produce through Mosaic. Barry Frank, who created
the show in 1978, will be exec producer.

Pic will revolve around a disgraced network exec who must claw his way back
to respectability by winning the contest. Concept was hatched by Cohen.

Original show bowed in the late ’70s, with teams of series stars from ABC,
NBC and CBS squaring off against one another in athletic events. Howard Cosell
presided over the proceedings as soberly as if he were hosting the Olympics.

“Rebus” Returning to TV

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180305nrebusKen Stott is fast becoming the new John Thaw over in the UK.  He’s replacing the hopelessly miscast John Hannah as Inspector Rebus in the next set of TV movies based on Ian Rankin’s books. The movies are being written by Danny Boyle, who scripted some of the best Inspector Morse movies. Stott has  played cops before, most recently in the "Messiah" TV movies and as the leader of a sex crimes unit in five season of "The Vice."

They’ll Put Any Shows on DVD…Except Mine!

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According to DVD Exclusive Magazine, upcoming TV shows being released on DVD this month include:

ADAM-12: The Complete First Season (we know how much America has been clamoring for that!)
McCLOUD: Seasons One and Two (The McCloud convention-goers will be thrilled)
PROFIT:The Complete Series
UNDECLARED: The Complete Series
BLISS: The Complete First Season Uncut
HOUSE MD: The Complete First Season
THE MIND OF THE MARRIED MAN: The Complete First Season (I couldn’t finish the complete first episode)
ROSEANNE: The Complete First Season
LOST: The Complete First Season

Mr. Schneider, Your Movie Sucks

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In his review of the new Deuce Bigelow movie, critic Roger Eberts gets back at Rob Schneider for his swipe, several months back, at LA Times reporter Patrick Goldstein:

The movie created a spot of controversy last February. According to a story
by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob
Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times
listed this year’s Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were "ignored,
unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that … bankroll
hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to ‘Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,’ a
film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the
foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a
Third-Rate Comic."

Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily
Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein,
Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out
what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing.
Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind … Maybe you didn’t win
a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate,
Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he
can’t take it. Then I found he’s not so good at dishing it out, either. I went
online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a
Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists’ Guild
award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie
Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer
Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed
"Deuce
Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in
"Million
Dollar Baby," "Ray,"
"The
Aviator," "Sideways"
and "Finding
Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize,
and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize
winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

(Thanks to William Rabkin for the heads-up on this!)

A Kindred Spirit

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When I was nine years old, I started writing my book UNSOLD TV PILOTS. It was what studio and network execs today like to call "a passion project." I wanted to listed every pilot rejected by the networks since the dawn of television. I finally finished the book around 1988 and it was published in 1989. I’ve continued compiling information since then — and although I never wrote the sequel, that research became the fodder for two TV special, one for CBS and one for ABC, that I produced with William Rabkin.  I thought I was alone in my strange fascination with TV failures…but I’m not.

The blog TrivialTV notes that summer used to be the time when networks burned off their busted pilots. Not anymore. Now it’s a reality show backwater. But in honor of all those busted pilots, today TrivialTV lists the titles and airdates of most of the 1/2 hour and hour-long  busted pilots that have been broadcast  since January 1, 1990.

Indulging my inner Geek

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I love the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. Even with a cheesy story-line like tonight’s "body farm" plot, it is redeemed by its total dedication to subverting your expectations…and your sympathies. The Cylons aren’t just robots. They might just be more human than, well, the humans. ..and the most terrifying thing about the Cylons is that the humans are realizing that, too. Great stuff.  On a side note of true geekiness, I love that fact that the characters
on this show sweat, get dirty and bleed, and that their wounds are
carried over from episode-to-episode (and on a side-side note…it sure was gutsy to shoot the "star" of your show and keep him unconscious in a hospital bed for six episodes. Makes me wonder if Edward James Olmos was doing a movie or something at the same time…or if showrunner Ron Moore just likes taking big risks).

Who knew there was such a great series to be found in the bones of Glen Larson’s original idea? Makes you wonder what someone could do with Irwin Allen’s LOST IN SPACE or some other cornball scifi shows from the past.

But hey, this series pales in comparison to the original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA…yeah, the one with the robot dog…just ask the Colonial Fan Force who are still, inexplicably, pining for a continuation with the geriatric cast.

UPDATE:  I’m not the only geeky Goldberg who is addicted to the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.

Another Try at Matt Helm

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Variety reports that a new screenwriting team has been brought in to take a whack at Dreamworks’ update of "Matt Helm," the spy-spoof franchise that starred Dean Martin back in the 60s.  The Dean Martin movies were very loosely based on the 27  dead-serious spy novels by Donald Hamilton.

Dreamworks first announced the project back in 2002 with director Robert Luketic ("Legally Blonde") at the, um, helm.  It’s been in development hell ever since. The "new contemporary take" will be written by Michael
Brandt and Derek
Haas .