Fanfic

Roald Dahl Would Be So Pleased

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There’s nothing more complimentary to an author than fanfic…or so I am told by fanficcers. I can only imagine how flattered Roald Dahl would be by this Willy Wonka fanfic:

Mr
Salt and Mr Wonka had only been standing like that, caught in a
mutual stare, for a couple of seconds. It only felt like much longer
for both of them, and someone was bound to end it.

Willy did. “P…” he mouthed quite inaudibly, “p…” and then
helplessly slid to his knees before Mr Salt, embracing him like that.
Quite the picture of Hamlet in his renaissance bob and velvet coat he
tried to rest his chin against Mr Salt’s groin, which put his head
in a rather awkward angle due to the brim of his top hat being in the
way.

(Thanks to Brad for the link)

The Horror of Being a Smurf

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The AV Club visited Fanfiction.net on a mission to probe the "outer limits" of fan fiction and found, among the REBA and SCHINDLERS LIST fic, stories about THE SMURFS.

SmurfSample: Not so "Raven Child2," whose sprawling trilogy ("The Smurfette
Village!", "Return to the Smurfette Village," and the still-in-progress "How
Things Smurf") follows Hefty Smurf on an epic journey that spans several
centuries. Separated from the other Smurfs after a devastating flood, Hefty
happens on a village that reverses the male-to-female ratio of the patriarchal
Smurf Village. Can he find true love with his female analog, Toughette? Will he
ever be reunited with his Smurf friends? Can they adjust to modern times when
they’re whisked into the 21st century?

Representative quote: "Many of the smurfs didn’t even try to block
away their tears when Papa Smurf reminded them of the horrors they
witnessed."

Sexual tension: Moderate. Smurfs can only be so sexy, but there is a
distinct sensuality to Raven Child2’s descriptions of Toughette.

Critical response: Mixed. While most reviewers offer vague words of
encouragement ("Keep smurfin’!"), "Jinglette," author of "Harry Potter And The
Search For Michael Jackson," isn’t so kind: "You have no life… Writing about
Smurfs… GO EAT A MUFFIN OR SOMETHING!" Ouch. And is it constructive criticism
or passive aggression when fellow Smurfs fanfic writer "Rowhena Zahnrei" points
out, "Proper tense use is vital if you want readers to be able to follow your
story easily"?

(Thanks to Bookslut for the heads-up)

Here’s a story of a man named Brady

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I make the mistake of joking about  Partridge Family slash fanfic and what happens? My brother Tod finds this:

"Greg. Greg Brady." Greg proffered his hand to be shaken and Keith [Partridge] held onto it a little too long.

"You’re touring with us, right?"

"Uh huh." Greg licked his lips and wondered why his pants suddenly felt so tight.

"We should be getting ready."

"Yeah." Greg shook himself out of his reverie and said, "You have nice hair."

"Thanks. So do you."

"Maybe we could–" Greg started tentatively.

Keith smiled slowly. "I know a place."

"We could get caught. I mean–" Greg’s cheeks flamed bright red and he ducked his head to avoid Keith’s probable scrutiny.

"Not if we hurry. Come on."

Keith knew where all the dark places to hide were. He had to. He had an
overprotective mother and more siblings than he could count.

Hypocrisy 101

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Fanficcers have no problem routinely infringing on the copyrights of books, movies and TV shows…but don’t you dare copy their work.   

Someone emailed me this  excerpt from the fanfiction.net user agreement (the bold-facing and italicizing of the most blatantly hypocritical/outrageous statements are mine):

9. COPYRIGHTS and COPYRIGHT AGENTS

FanFiction.Net respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, there are two methods of recourse depending on the nature of the infraction. If you have a copyright abuse complaint based on theft of your piece by other fan authors, please see Section Ten: Domestic Copyrights. Else, please provide FanFiction.Net with the following information:

(1) an electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright interest;

(2) a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed;

(3) a description of where the material that you claim is infringing is located on the site;

(4) your address, telephone number, and email address;

(5) a statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law;

(6) a statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your Notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or authorized to act on the copyright owner’s behalf.

After this has been received, FanFiction.Net administrators will seek to determine if the piece in question is in violation of your copyright and then respond accordingly.

10. DOMESTIC COPYRIGHTS

FanFiction.Net respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you feel that your writing was copied with out permission and in violation of your copyright by another writer on FanFiction.Net, please provide FanFiction.Net administrators with the following information via e-mail:

(1) Pen name and e-mail address.

(2) Contact information for the author you feel is violating your copyright. This information should include the author�s pen name, e-mail address, and author profile url.

(3) The url of the piece that you have the copyright for, the date that the story was posted, and the title of the piece.

(4) The url of the piece that you feel is in violation of your copyright, the date the alleged infringed piece was written and the title the alleged infringed piece.

(5) Supporting and collaborative evidence that demonstrates copyright infringement.

(6) A short message detailing the nature of the copyright infringement.

After this has been received, FanFiction.Net administrators will seek to determine if the piece in question is in violation of your copyright and then respond accordingly.

Unbelievable. 

Playing in Someone Else’s Sandbox

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I received this lengthy email the other day. It read, in part:

I can understand intellectual property concerns about currently or recently
active creative concepts, but when a creative concept has been tried and
presented by the producers and craftsmen, has run its course and been
cancelled, has stopped being shown in reruns, has no active tie-ins, and
appears to have been completely mothballed by the original creators and
stakeholders of the concept – AT THAT POINT, would you still consider it
wrong for a fanfiction author to attempt to step in and write creatively in
that sandbox?

I ask this because I had been considering a fanfiction based on a series
you produced 10 years ago that has disappeared from the face of the earth.
I admit, as a potential fan-fiction writer, that the lure of
already established character study materials, settings, etc., is enticing –
like the idea of taking down and playing with a set of dolls – er, I mean,
ACTION FIGURES.

As for my own writing career, I’ve never had the courage
to try creating something truly original…

Here is how I replied: My personal feeling is that you are better off, in every possible
way, writing something original. I would never consider writing in "someone
else’s sandbox" unless they invited me to.  I never contemplated writing DIAGNOSIS MURDER or MONK novels. I am only writing those books now because
the rights-holders and/or  creators asked me to.  So my answer to you is this…the
show you’re thinking about, whatever it is, doesn’t belong to you. Or me. Write something that is your
own. The creative and personal benefits far outweigh the convenience of writing
with someone else’s creations. Good luck!

Pay me for my fanfic!

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Fandom Wank reports today that a fanficcer named "cousinjean" appealed to her readers to subsidize her fanfiction writing:

I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails over the past year asking if and when I’m going to
finish both Dancing Lessons and my sequel to The Butterfly Effect. Believe me
when I say that nobody is more depressed about the unfinished state of my fan
fiction than I am. But the cold, hard reality is that I have bills and student
loans to pay, an actual paying writing career to try my damnedest to launch, and
an eventual marriage to save and plan for. The simple fact is that there is no
more room in my life for fan fiction. I’ve tried to make room. I have. But it’s
just not happening.

I realize that a lot of people will probably
judge me pretty harshly for the following, but I’m just desperate enough not to
care. I’m offering to sing for my supper, so to speak, and I don’t see the shame
in that. So here’s my proposal: if every reader who has read and enjoyed my fan
fiction over the years will donate the amount that they would expect to pay for
a hardback novel (and I’ve written the equivalent of several novels in the
course of my fanfic career), then I will be able to take a year off to write
full time. This means that not only would I be able to finish the original
novels that are languishing on my hard drive; I would also be able to finish my
fan fiction.

Basically, what I’m asking for is monetary support from my reader base in
helping me get my career as a professional storyteller off the ground. In
return, if at least half of my goal is met, I promise to continue the work that
has gained me a following in the first place. I’m asking you to buy me time to
write.

If you’re willing to do this, in addition to finished WIPs
you will also have my eternal gratitude and a mention in the acknowledgements of
my first published novel. If you’re not, that’s understandable, and all I ask is
that you never again ask me how my WIPs are coming.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. To be fair to the fanfiction community, they slapped "cousinjean" down pretty hard and within hours of her appeal, she bid fandom farewell.

(On the jump, here’s a tiny sampling of some of the 425 comments — and counting — that she got…)

Read more

Fanficcer Spoof

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The satirical site Watley Review has posted a brilliant, pitch-perfect spoof of the fanficcer attitude towards popular fiction:

A disgruntled Harry Potter fan has released a "corrected" version
of J.K Rowling’s latest installment in the series, The Half-Blood Prince,
prompting a storm of curiosity and support from many fans who disliked the
direction of the story in the book. It has also, not surprisingly, prompted a
storm of legal activity from Rowling’s publishers.

"Whenever an author puts a work out into the universe, it is no longer
their exclusive property anymore," said Mary Sue Pembroke, who is credited
as the author of the modified book. "Harry Potter belongs to all of us, not
just Rowling. She took some liberties with the story in this latest book that
really weren’t faithful to the logic of the narrative. My version is, I think
it fair to say, much more faithful to the true Harry Potter mythos."

…This is not the first time a fan has created a story based on an author’s
setting; so-called fanfiction is a popular pursuit across the internet. This
is, however, the first time a fan story has captured a sizeable portion of the
author’s audience: over 800,000 fans have downloaded the book, many openly
hostile to J.K. Rowling’s narrative decisions in the most recent book.

Scholastic Publishing has obtained an injunction against Pembroke and has
threatened a lawsuit, but has been unable to take the site offline due to a
number of overseas mirror sites…

"The only way for an author to keep a piece of writing completely their
own is to never have it published," insisted Pembroke. "J.K. Rowling,
you asked for this."

Whoever wrote this piece has a great ear for the fanficcer voice. It sounds just like  Naomi Novik and her ilk doesn’t it? It’s uncanny. For example, here’s one of  Novik’s comments:

I do understand individual authors who feel strongly that they don’t
want fanfic on their own work out there. If an author feels an intense
negative reaction to fanfic on her work, that is a completely valid
feeling. I don’t think that it obliges people to respect that feeling,
but it’s not ridiculous, it’s how she feels, and I personally do
respect that reaction out of courtesy.

"Mary Sue Pembroke" is a bulls-eye.