Me Me Me

When Did You Know?

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When did you know you wanted to be a writer? Joe Konrath poses that question on his blog today. I’ve known almost all my life what I wanted to be.  Not too long ago, my Mom found a paper I wrote in fourth grade where I said I loved writing stories and that I wanted to be a writer.  I posted one of those early stories here on my blog…along with one of my daughter’s  written at the same age.

When I was ten or eleven, I was already pecking novels out on my Mom’s old typewriters. The first one was a futuristic tale about a cop born in an underwater sperm bank. I don’t know why the bank was underwater, or how deposits were made, but I thought it was very cool. I followed that up with a series of books about  gentleman thief Brian Lockwood,  aka "The Perfect Sinner,’ a thinly disguised rip-off of Simon Templar, aka "The Saint." I sold these stories for a dime to my friends and even managed to make a dollar or two. In fact, I think my royalties per book were better then than they are now.

I continued writing novels all through my teenage years.  Some of my other unpublished masterpieces featured hapless detective named Kevin Dangler. I remember my Uncle Burl being quite amused by that one. He even wrote a story about Kevin Dangler one summer when we were fishing at Loon Lake. Only Dangler wasn’t a detective in his tale. He was the lead singer of a rock group called Kevin Dangler & The Scrotums. Being a packrat, I still have most of those novels today in boxes in my garage (some were destroyed in flooding a few years back).

By the time I was 17, I was writing articles for The Contra Costa Times and other Bay Area newspapers and applying to colleges.  I didn’t get a book published, but my detective stories got me into UCLA’s School of Communications. My grades weren’t wonderful, so I knew I had to kick ass on my application essay. I wrote it first person as a hard-boiled detective story in Kevin Dangler’s voice. The committee, at first, had doubts that I actually wrote it myself — until they reviewed articles I’d written for the Times, including one that used the same device as my essay.

I sold my first non-fiction book, UNSOLD TELEVISION PILOTS, while I was a freshman in college and my first novel, .357 VIGILANTE, shortly thereafter (thanks to Lew Perdue).  And so here I am, at 43, doing exactly what I was doing when I was seven or eight. I haven’t really changed. It’s cool…and kind of weird, too.

How to Order a Signed Copy of MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIRE HOUSE

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Here’s how you can order your own, signed copy of MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIRE HOUSE.

  1. Email Mysteries to Die For with the following information:

Name

Address

Phone number

Method of payment (check, money order or credit card)

Info about how you want the book inscribed (signed only, inscribed to ‘name’, etc.)


  1. Mail your check or money order made payable to Mysteries to Die For ($10.50 if you live in California; $10.00 for all other states except Alaska and Hawaii – if you live outside the contiguous 48 states, we’ll email you with pricing information) to this address: Mysteries to Die For, 2940 Thousand Oaks Blvd, Thousand Oaks CA, 91362.
  2. If
    you want to use a credit card, we will call you to get the necessary
    information so please be sure to include your phone number.
  3. If you want more than one copy of the book, we’ll email you specifics as to cost.

There is a possibility I will be signing with MONK co-star Traylor Howard. Please indicate on your order how you would like her to sign the book as well…assuming she is able to attend.

Jet City Journal, the sequel

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My brother Tod and I started our day yesterday visiting bookstores — at one of them, I found a signed first edition copy of a Ross Thomas novel ("Missionary Stew") for $25. I felt like I’d stolen it.

We then went to the Seattle Mystery Bookshop, where we had a great time signing our books, chatting with Bill Farley about Rex Stout & Nero Wolfe, browsing their fantastic selection, and talking mysteries with Vince Keenan and David Thayer. I could have stayed all day…and given our next signing experience, I probably should have.

Our next stop was the Barnes & Noble University Village… where they had lots of copies of my books, several posters announcing my presense…and no copies of Tod’s books and no mention of him on the posters. He was thrilled. It got even better when the announcement on the loudspeaker invited people to come meet "Lee and TOAD Goldberg." I’m sure Tod will go to into far more humiliating and humorous detail on his blog, so I’ll leave it at that. But it made us appreciate independant mystery bookstores like the Seattle Mystery Bookshop even more.

Our family showed up in force, so that part was great, and afterwards we went back to our Uncle Stan Barer’s beautiful home on the lake for dinner, where our cousin Aaron Barer showed up with his friend KUBE 93 DJ Tiffany Warner…a bright, funny, and attractive young woman (it’s no wonder she’s also a successful model) who put up with our strange family and bizarre conversation with patience and good humor.

All in all, it was a great trip but I am eager to return home, see my wife and daughter, catch up on all my mail, and get to back to work. Most of all, I’m looking forward to being warm again!

You Can’t Escape Hollywood

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I spoke to about 900 Jackson High School students on Friday —  doing my schtick during six different assemblies throughout the day (special thanks again to librarian Barbara Stoltzenburg and her fantastic staff).

Each one of the assemblies/classes was different. Although I gave the same talk, half my time each period was devoted to fielding questions from the students. The questions really shaped how the talk went and, from my perspective, gave a personality to each session. During one period, there was a young girl, perhaps 16 or 17, who asked some really perceptive questions about the business, how television shows are developed, and the details of production schedules.

Afterwards, she came up to me and told me, very quietly, that she’s just signed to be one of the stars of a SciFi Channel pilot. She told me about it, who the producers were, when production was starting, etc. She asked me some more questions, shared with me some things her "Hollywood" agent and her "Seattle" agent were telling her to expect, and the whole time I was thinking…here I am, in a small town in the Pacific Northwest, and I might as well be in Los Angeles.

At my daughter’s school, you can talk to any 10-year-old, and they know all about pilots, the difference between above-the-line and below-the-line etc… because this is an industry town, and if their own parents don’t work in some aspect of "the business," their friends’ parents do.

The last thing I expected this weekend was to encounter a teenager in Mill Creek, Washington who was as well-versed and as immersed in Hollywood as a Calabasas, Studio City, or West L.A. kid. The remarkable thing was how low-key she was about her upcoming pilot gig. She didn’t mention it in her questions, and waited to tell me about it privately. When I mentioned my conversation with her to a couple of other English teachers they had no idea which student I was talking about (I forgot to get her name). So, clearly, she hasn’t been going around the campus bragging to everyone that she’s going to be in a pilot.

So I guess she hasn’t gone entirely Hollywood after all…

Jet City Journal

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I’ve been scarce around here the last few days because I am up in Seattle for some booksignings. I kicked off the trip speaking to the students at Jackson High School in Mill Creek, where I was bombarded with questions about writing books and TV shows (special thanks to school librarian Barbara Stoltzenberg and her terrific staff. I’ve never seen a nicer high school library). I have to admit there were a few quaestions that caught me by surprise, like "What kind of car do you drive?" and "does your wife look like Jessica Alba." It was a lot of fun, but after talking to hundreds of students over an entire school day, I had almost no voice left. (Did I mention it’s freezing up here? They are experiencing this thing called Winter. I’ve encountered winter a couple of times in my life before. I am so glad we don’t have it in L.A.)

Afterwards, my Uncle Stan Barer took my brother Tod and I to the Sonics game, where we had floor seats so close to the action we got to see the beads of sweat on every player.  It was also fun watching the  millionaires fight over the inadequate supply of free chocolate chip cookies in the VIP room at half-time. I’ll post some pictures from my Jack Nicholson-esque perch when I return to L.A.

This morning it’s off to the Seattle Mystery Bookstore and Barnes & Noble University Village to sign books, meet some friendly readers, and do the humanitarian work that allows me to write this trip off my taxes. The Seattle newspaper listings about the signings have amused me and irritated Tod — one read something like "Lee Goldberg will be signing his books MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE and DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE PAST TENSE with his brother" and didn’t even mention his name. I had nothing to do with it. Honest.

Post-Partum Depression

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I just completed my 7th DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel, "The Double Life," which will be published in Sept. 2006, and delivered it to my agent. While it’s a great feeling to finish a book, it also leaves this big void. The book has been such a big part of my days, and my thoughts, for the last few months that it’s strange not to have it there any more. But I’m not taking much time to  rest. I delivered this DM early — 30 days ahead of my deadline — so that means I’ll have a little more time to plot and write the 3rd MONK novel, "Mr. Monk and the Blue Flu," and can enjoy the holidays without having to worry about scrambling to finish a book.

Jetting to the Jet City

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SeattlespaceneedlerestaurantMy brother Tod and I are heading up to Seattle tomorrow. I’ll also be speaking about becoming a writer to the students at
Jackson High School in Mill Creek, where my Aunt Britt Barer teaches,
on Friday. That night, you can see Tod and I sitting court-side for the
Sonics game doing our best Jach Nicholson impersonations. On Saturday, Dec. 3, we’re doing some booksignings  — at noon at the Seattle Mystery Bookstore and at 3 p.m at the Barnes & Noble University Village.

Streaming Goldbergs

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Have you ever heard Sammy Davis Jr. sing the theme for HAWAII FIVE-O? Do you swoon when Chuck Norris sings "The Eyes of a Ranger?" Well, you’re in for a treat. You can revel in the vocal stylings of  Sammy and Chuck, among others,  as well as the wit and wisdom of the brothers Goldberg over at Pinky’s Paperhaus. You can stream the complete two hour interview and musical extravaganza or you can hear a 15-minute podcast version with all our really stupid comments and our worst musical selections edited out.

Sunday On The Road

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My 10-year-old daughter Madison wanted to hang out with her Dad today, so we both went down to Irvine for my talk with the Orange County chapter of Sisters-in-Crime. My brother Tod was there, too, and we talked about the craft and business of writing with the lovely ladies for two-and-half hours…and then Madison and I schlepped up to Hollywood in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the MONK season wrap party at the Lucky Strike bowling alley.

We chatted with showrunner/creator Andy Breckman, and producers Tom Scharpling, David Breckman and David Hoberman, as well as USA Network head honcho Jeff Wachtel. My old friends Terry Erdman and Paula Block, authors of the upcoming MONK COMPANION, were also there. Andy made Madison’s day by taking her picture with Tony Shalhoub and Traylor Howard (I’ll be sure to post the pictures when they arrive).

Madison says she learned a lot from our talk and that she had a great time at the party, so it looks like she may be tagging along with me more often… which is fine with me!