Lee Goldberg

Beached 4

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PA230004 (2)The sun was out today in Myrtle Beach, where  I am speaking at the South Carolina Writer's Conference. I had some interesting encounters today…in the elevator, a woman said  to me:

"How much of your books does Tony Shalhoub write?"

"He doesn't write any of part of them," I replied.

"Then why is his face on the cover?"

"Because  he plays Adrian Monk on the TV show."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't you think that's deceiving readers?"

Another woman came up to me later in the day and said "Your books are very funny. Why aren't you as funny in person?"

Before my screenwriting seminar, a woman approached me and said "I'd like to attend your class but there's a more interesting one  at the same time."

Other than those comments, it has been a great day…a long one, and tiring, but a lot of fun anyway. And I had the pleasure of signing with my friend Michael Connelly and introducing him as our keynote speaker. He was an engaging, self-effacing, and inspirational speaker, as always.

Tomorrow I have  two more classes/seminars and then I take a late flight back to Los Angeles. 

Beached 3

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This was the first day of the South Carolina Writer's Conference and I was kept pretty busy. I managed to sneak in a long walk on the beach before the rains came (which have lasted all day and into the night) and my three-hour  "Breaking Into TV Writing" seminar.   I had a great class of aspiring writers and don't have a single stupid question to share with you — though one guy did walk out when I told him I wasn't interested in reading his scripts or his novel-in-progress. I am constantly surprised by how many people read this blog — three people came up and chatted with me about posts they enjoyed or things that they've learned. One woman thanked me for steering her away from making a very expensive mistake with a vanity press. She was so anxious to get her novel published and the vanity press seemed like an attractive short cut to her — but then she realized it was her desperation talking and not her good sense. It made me feel really good to know I saved at least one person from those scammers.

Beached

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I am on my way to Myrtle Beach, SC to speak & teach at the South Carolina Writer's Conference. Other speakers/teachers include authors Michael Connelly and James O. Born and editors from St. Martins, HarperCollins, Little Brown, Random House and Thomas Dunne as well as a slew of agents. There's also going to be a rep there from Book Surge, and I've already warned the conference that I will be strongly advising aspiring writers to avoid vanity presses.

I've got to get up at 3:30 in the morning to make my flight…and since I usually go to bed around 1 or 2, I might just forgo sleep altogether and try to nap on the plane.

I've never been to Myrtle Beach and I'm really looking forward to it. I have a pretty busy schedule over the next four days, so I don't know if I will have a chance to post while I am there.

Taking Your Own Advice

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I've taught writing a lot in the last few years — UCLA Extension courses, Writers University online courses, week-long seminars abroad,  conference workshops, speaking engagements, etc.  One of the many reasons I enjoy doing it is that talking about craft invigorates my own writing and helps me take a fresh look at what I am doing. That point was underscored for me this week.

I have been reading & critiquing manuscripts and screenplays for the South Carolina Writers Conference, which I am attending this weekend.  Many of the manuscripts have serious structural problems, point-of-view issues, and are bogged down in insanely dull (and unnecessary) exposition & backstory. The stories never actually get started.

At the same time, I have been wrestling with the first 40 or so pages of a "standalone" crime novel that I'm writing. I am working with a much sketchier outline than I usually do…I thought it might be exciting for me since this isn't a "whodunit" and I pretty much know where I'm going. Maybe that's a mistake, because the writing hasn't been going well. I find myself continually rewriting my work and not getting anywhere.

I was in the midst critiquing one of the student manuscripts, and writing down my advice, when it hit me — I was making the same mistakes in my work that he was in his.  I was smothering the drama and conflict in exposition, I wasn't giving the reader a chance to get invested in the characters or the story. I wasn't following that old screenwriting adage — show, don't tell. I needed to get the story started, then carefully dole out the necessary exposition in bits and pieces in ways that reveal character and generate some conflict.

Yesterday I went back and rewrote my first 40 pages yet again…dramatizing key moments that I'd buried in exposition…and suddenly it all began to work. I felt a rhythm to the writing that was missing before. The story had a pulse, a forward momentum now…and it has carried me through my writing today.

That's not to say I won't have trouble again. I'm sure I will. I have been in this situation before on other books and scripts. But what can be great about teaching, at least for me, is that it can give you the distance and perspective you need on your own work.

Fanfic Makes Proulx Regret Writing “Brokeback Mountain”

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Pulitzer Prize winning author Annie Proulx has complained before about the misery  "Brokeback Mountain" fanfic has caused her and now she's doing it  again, this time on the front page of the Los Angeles Times.

"I wish I'd never written it," Proulx says at
her home five miles outside town, looking out enormous windows onto the
river and the limestone cliffs that define her property.

Not because of the people of Saratoga, a town she doesn't think much
of. Not even because the word "brokeback" has been misappropriated, as
in, "Hey, you're not goin' brokeback on me, are you?"

It's all the manuscripts, screenplays and letters sent to her by men
who rewrite or serialize her story, adding new characters, endings and
even successive generations.

Her frustration has been building for a while. She told the Wall Street Journal a few weeks ago that "Brokeback Mountain' has had little effect on my writing life, but is the source of constant irritation in my private life."

She lamented that  "remedial writers" are constantly sending "ghastly manuscripts and pornish rewrites of the
story to me, expecting me to reply with praise and applause for
'fixing' the story…they know nothing of
copyright infringement, that the characters Jack Twist and Ennis
Del Mar are my intellectual property."

UK Prosecutors Target SickFic About Real People

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Article-1066435-02DCB4E400000578-703_233x439
There's a whole sub-culture of fanficcers who get off writing fantasies about famous people having sex with one another and others. You know, stuff like Leonardo DiCaprio giving Jude Law an education in male coupling or the Spice Girls re-enacting their favorite sex scenes from "The L Word." The authors of this kind of SickFic argue that because they are writing and distributing stories about fictional sex between "public figures," it's okay. Well, prosecutors in the U.K don't think so. They think it's obscene and a violation of the law. The Register reports:

The legal world is buzzing at the announcement last week of the
prosecution of 35-year-old civil servant Darryn Walker for the online
publication of material that Police and Crown Prosecution Service (CPS)
believe to be obscene.

This is the first such prosecution for written material in nearly
two decades – and a guilty verdict could have a serious and significant
impact on the future regulation of the internet in the UK.

The case originated in summer 2007, when Mr Walker allegedly posted a work of fantasy – titled Girls (Scream) Aloud – about pop group Girls Aloud. The story describes in detail the kidnap, rape, mutilation and
murder of band members Cheryl Cole, Nadine Coyle, Sarah Harding, Nicola
Roberts and Kimberley Walsh, and ends with the sale of various body
parts on eBay.

The piece was brought to the attention of the Internet Watch
Foundation, whose remit includes the monitoring of internet material
deemed to be criminally obscene: they in turn handed details over to
the Police.

The case goes to trial on March 16, 2009 in Newcastle. Other newspapers report that Walker wrote the story under the pseudonym "Blake Sinclair" and posted it on Kristen's Collection, SickFic site that also includes a "Real Person Fic" about raping and mutilating Britney Spears.Article-1066435-02DF55C700000578-300_468x286

I'm sure that the Organization for Transformative Works, which thinks that writing and distributing this kind of swill is a God-given "fannish right," and Dr. Robin Reid, the creative writing instructor at Texas A&M who writes and champions "Real Person Slash" (her favorite SickFic fantasy is Viggo Mortenson and any male actor in Hollywood) will be watching this case very closely. A conviction could lead to a long overdue crack-down on this garbage.

Selling My Signature

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89da_1
 I was on ebay tonight, listing some old textbooks for my daughter. Since I can't pass a search box without typing my own name into it,  I discovered  that there's someone selling cards with my signature on them at five bucks a pop. I can' t imagine who'd want it…especially since it's not my signature. It's not even close, as you can see from the signed copy of MR. MONK IN OUTER SPACE that somebody else is selling.Monkouterspace
 Which makes me wonder…why would anyone waste their time faking my autograph? There can't possibly be any money in that.

UPDATE: The guy has corrected his auction. It turns out the signature is my brother Tod's and that's worth at least five bucks. Maybe as much as  $5.25.

Mr. Monk and the Family Affair

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Richardsons
Reading MONK has become a family affair for the Richardsons of El Segundo, California,  who sent me this photo and this nice note: "Sorry to beat you out of book sales but we pass each copy from one generation to the next; Grandma, Mom & Daughter.  We are looking forward to Paris! Ellen, Susan, & Robin." They won't have to wait long — I am sending them a galley of MR. MONK IS MISERABLE.

They Say That Cat is a Baaaaad Mother

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Shaft
I can't stop listening to "The Shaft Anthology" while I write. It's an incredible, 3 CD collection of original soundtrack cues from "Shaft," "Shaft's Big Score," and the TV movies, brought to you by the terrific folks at Screen Archives.

The "Shaft" soundtrack that has been available up to now was actually a re-recording of the original cues. But this anthology presents the original score for the first time. Here's how Screen Archives tells it:

The original 1971 Shaft
was one of the seminal films of “blaxploitation” movement, as Shaft
gets involved in the Harlem rescue effort of a gangster’s kidnapped
daughter. The score by Isaac Hayes not only set trends in film music
but pop and R&B, with its spoken/sung lyrics, disco-era wah-wah
guitar and high-hat cymbals, and lush, soulful orchestrations. The
soundtrack was widely distributed on a 2LP set (later a CD) by
Enterprise (Hayes’s personal label on Stax Records) but that was a
re-recording done in Memphis. For the first time, this CD presents the
original Hollywood-recorded film score featuring primordial versions of
the source cues as well as all of the dramatic underscoring (little of
which was adapted for the LP). It is a fascinating glimpse into Hayes’s
creativity and an important archiving of this legendary work.

Being the geek that I am, I have been obsessively comparing cues between the original and the re-recording…and I definitely prefer the original cues. The anthology also includes the music from "Shaft's Big Score" and the never-bef0re-released cues from the half-dozen "Shaft" TV movies by Johnny Pate ("Shaft in Africa), who used the iconic Shaft theme in a variety of clever and entertaining ways. The collection also comes with surprisingly detailed and informative liner notes.

It's great stuff, a must for any soundtrack collector. But if you want to buy it, you'd better hurry. This is a limited edition of 3000 copies.

Beware the “Term of License” Contract

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In this month's Authors Guild Bulletin, Mark L. Levine warns writers to be very wary of publishers offering a so-called "term of license" contract (signing you for seven to ten years with an option to renew) unless you are already a best-selling author or are negotiating paperback or reprint rights to an existing work.

If they're offering it to you as a novice writer, then it's a big warning sign that "the publisher in not a bona fide trade or academic publisher or even a bona fide print-on-demand one but a vanity publisher masquerading as a bona fide POD publisher."  He offers some more good advice:

Recently, a handful of POD publishers have been soliciting and "accepting" manuscripts at an astonishing rate and not requiring money up front to publish a book. They even offer what on its face apperas to be a relatively standard publishing agreement and sometimes agree to pay a nominal advance (eg one dollar). This has led writers — particularly novices– to think they are being published by bona fide trade publishers.

[…]They typically will not publish any copies other than those ordered at the authors discount. Apparently, the total number of books purchases for friends and relativesat the "special" author's price by the presumably large number of people taken in by this scheme makes it a profitable venture for the ethically challenge.

[…]If you are still interested in proceeding in the hope that your publisher is bona fide, be sure to insert, in addition to the requirement that the book be published within a specified time period at the publisher's sole expense, language stating tha the number of print-on-demand copies of the book initially published at the publisher's expense "will not be less than ______ copies" (eg 500 or 1000). Language like this, as well as a good out-of-print clause, should flush out the intentions of the publisher and save you from a bad surprise.