The Mail I Get

Searching for “Search”

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I don’t what what it is, but Friday seems to be a big day for email. Here’s one I got today, which read, in part:

Television series air and are eventually canceled.  What
happens to them?  Obviously I wouldn’t be asking if I weren’t interested in
a particular series.

"Search," an adventure series that aired in
1972 lasted one season and has never aired since.   Do you
have general knowledge of what might of happened  to a series such as
Search?

Any information that you
might be able to provide that would assist  someone like myself in finding
out more about the disposition of the  series, or how to be able to maybe
have the opportunity to actually view  the episodes once more would be
invaluable.

The simple answer is that cancelled shows end up in a film vault somewhere. Unless the series had enough episodes to syndicate (which SEARCH didn’t), and there’s a real demand to see the reruns (which there isn’t), the show will just stay on the shelf forever.  There are literally thousands of series like that, and not all of them are one-or-two season flops. . There really is no opportunity for fans to get episodes, except bootlegs from collectors. There’s some room for hope…the success of TV show collections on DVD have given some obscure old shows new life. Whoever thought you’d be able to buy the complete DUSTY’S TRAIL (and who would want to?) Whether SEARCH will ever come out on DVD remains to be seen…but there are a lot of other, better known and more successful shows in the Warner Brothers vault that are likely to come out first.  I’m still waiting for SPENSER FOR HIRE…   

Lose Pounds the iUniverse Way

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Today I received this email, which I’m assuming is in response to my post "iUniverse By The Numbers."

Is it bad writing that prevents a POD book from selling or many other factors? I challenge you: an established, tradional,  successful writer to submit something you wrote to a POD and when it doesn’t sell
will it be because of bad writing?

Additionally, everyone allows for the fact even a POD publisher is going to have 2-3 successful books per year. Well, when  you consider there are at least 100 POD outfits that means they are publishing  300 books per year that are worthy of being published. The problem is not with  the concept of POD.  The problem is there are too many PODs with limited ethical and quality standards. Imagine if there was one POD publisher that alone printed the previously mentioned 300 books.

I wonder a hundred years from now, will the reviewers of history look upon the likes of  Monk and Dick Van Dyke as highly as you view your works.
Furthermore, how many bad books gain success simply because of the stature of the author (Clinton,Fisher,Grisham) and the correct  marketing plan. Correctly done, a book with 200 completely blank  pages could become a top seller.

I think we both agree one of us is living in a Dream
World. We simply disagree on who it is.

Sincerely,
John S. Meade

I’m not sure why John is so angry with me. I guess the story told by the iUniverse stats was a very rude awakening for him.  Let’s tackle his points one by one:
 

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Your Great Idea for a TV Series

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I got this email today…then again, it seems like I get it every day:

I have a great idea for a TV cop show but I’m not a writer. How can I sell it?

I can’t remember if I’ve posted this before, but here goes anyway. This is a column I wrote several years ago for Mystery Scene  about an experience I had with a woman who wanted me to sell her Really Great Idea For a TV Series. Parts of it will be familiar to those of you who’ve read my replies to this question before…

I was a guest at Sleuthfest in Florida a few years back and after one of my panels, a woman approached me saying she had a great idea for a television series. Even better, she already had 22
scripts written and a list of actors she felt were perfect for the parts.

All I had to do, she said, was sell it and we’d both be rich.

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Following the Industry

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A commenter here asked:

I’m just curious. How much attention does a TV writer have to pay to
what’s in and what’s out? I mean, other than projects you’re working on? In other words, do schedule changes mean much to you if they don’t affect you directly?

It’s essential for professionals in any industry to keep up with what’s going on in their field.  In the TV biz, the primetime schedule news is extremely important.   

Whether you’re already on a show or not, you still need to know your market.   What’s hot and what’s not? You need to know who the players are this season… who is running the
shows and who is on staff? And you need to know who the players aren’t… who is out of work now and likely to be competing with you for jobs?  Or, if you’re hiring, who is available and who isn’t?

If you want to develop pilots you need to study the schedule (as well as what the networks didn’t buy or renew)  and figure out what the networks might be interested in for next season. The primetime development doors open in eight weeks.

The last thing you want to be is out-of-touch with your business…whether its writing for television or selling shoes.

Round Table Pitching

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Today, I received this email:

Currently, I am writing a mystery novel – my first – and pitched to an executive editor from a film company at a conference late in April. He asked me to formalize the pitch and submit. Being new to the concept, I am at sea.

The idea I pitched had to do with my specific mystery, but for a tv series or film, shouldn’t the pitch be less specific? I have written four sentences that sum up the idea for a series/movie.

I also have written a cover letter to re-introduce myself to the editor. I have the submission packet from the company with standard submission forms to complete, but is there anything else I should
include?

Here’s how I replied: First, some questions for you. What is an executive editor at a film company? I have been in this business a long time and I have never heard of such
a position. If I may ask, what company are we talking about here? Are they reputable? Have they produced any TV shows or movies you’ve actually heard of?

Secondly, most pitches are done verbally in Hollywood, so submitting the pitch on paper seems odd. Even so, when I do a pitch, I usually leave behind a punchy one-or-two page synopsis  — think of it as book-jacket copy meant to entice the reader into buying the book.

Finally, are you pitching a TV series or a movie? They are two very, very different things and require very, very different kinds of pitches. Since I haven’t seen this company’s submission forms, and have no idea what they ask from you, so I don’t know if filling them out is enough.

This sounds to me like one of those round-table-pitching conferences where aspiring writers have five minutes to pitch their stuff to some development exec. I’ve never done one of those things, so I really have no idea how it works.

Welcome to Fantasy Island

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039_27037Today, I received this email:

I would like to Email Mr. Wolf about an idea…If anyone knows his email address are a way I can get in contacted with please email me at StreetRacerBW@yahoo.com. Thank you, Victoria.

My reply: If you’ve paid any attention to Dick Wolf’s shows, you’ll notice they all have one thing in common. They were all created by Dick Wolf. Why would he want your idea? He’s making hundreds of millions of dollars off his own. But setting that obvious fact aside for a moment, do you really think emailing him an idea is going to work? Do you think he’ll read your email,  send a limo to your house, bring you over to the studio, and offer you a box of cash? I only have four words for you, Victoria:  Welcome to Fantasy Island!

Stop Looking For A Short Cut

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I received a reply from the guy with the great idea for a TV show who needed someone with "industry credibility" to team up with.

Feel the need to vent?  No problem!  Since we don’t each other, it can’t be
personal.  A simple, "not interested" would have done the trick though. 
The television saying you mentioned….we say that same thing in
marketing and advertising!  Since I’m a professional in my chosen field too
(no, really), I receive numerous offers to partner from people looking to break
in.  Though it almost never goes anywhere, I usually offer some slight
encouragement.  The upside is so much greater than the downside and the cost to
let it play out is so insignificant…..so why not?

Instead of offering encouragement, I offer honesty and reality. Obviously, you didn’t want to hear either. You can’t expect to scrawl a drawing of a car on a napkin and sell it to Ford… why should you expect it to happen with a TV series idea? The way to break in is not to look for shortcuts, for a way to start at the top…which is what you are trying to do.  The way to break in is to write a terrific script, get hired as a freelancer on a show, get picked up on staff, then work your way up the writer/producer ladder until you reach the point in your career when someone from a studio or network calls and says "Hey, got any ideas for a series?"

As for the networks buying years of
experience and a track record……I sincerely hope that is true (means better
television).  The jury seems to be out though:  Overnight
successes…..Schwartz, who at 27 created The O.C….Trey Parker and Matt Stone
created South Park while they were still in college.

I figured that’s where you were coming from.  You didn’t do your homework.  Josh Schwartz worked on other shows and wrote other pilots before THE OC.  Parker and Stone made a short animated film, THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS,  that wowed the industry. That short film proved their skill as animators/writers/performers and  they got a series… based on that short film. They weren’t car salesmen from Topeka with a really great idea for an animated TV series.

What must I have been thinking when I contacted
you?  I mean…how on earth could a professional television writer really be
interested in what someone from outside the industry has to offer? 
". CSI, the No. 1 show was created by relative newcomer, Anthony
E. Zuiker…. CBS hired experienced writer-producers Carol Mendelsohn and Ann
Donahue to run the show…"

Again, you aren’t doing your homework. Zuiker didn’t sell his idea by emailing producers with a come-on saying he had a great idea for a show and he just needed someone with "industry credibility" to sell it for him.  He wrote a script.  From the CSI Files Website:

Zuiker himself got his start when childhood friend Dustin Lee Abraham, now a CSI scribe but then an actor, would get Zuiker to
write him monologues for auditions. "I wrote a speech about a man, mentally
retarded, watching his wife give birth. He’s a degenerate gambler, and he went
into an announcing [mode, a play by play]," Zuiker says of the monologue that
got him attention in Hollywood. The speech was turned into a movie, The
Runner, which was made for seven million dollars. It turned out to be
Zuiker’s gateway to Hollywood.

You’re wowed by what you think are strike-it-big-in-Hollywood-quick stories that really aren’t.  Stop looking for a short-cut.  The best way to sell a series is to write some great scripts. Don’t look for someone with "industry credibility," earn some of your own instead.

What To Do Next?

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This is a post from my writing/producing partner William Rabkin. He asked me to share it with you so he could get your advice:

I’m facing a big question, and I’d like some advice from others who have
found themselves in this position. I’ve just finished my first novel — aside
from implementing whatever brilliant suggestions my esteemed partner will
inevitably have — and am ready to move on. But I am torn between two projects.
My question is: How do you decide what to start next?
 
The one I just finished was a no-brainer. It was based on a completed
script that had been optioned by a Major Producer, who had then been unable to
set it up anywhere. I knew the story worked and would work even better in book
form.
 
But now the decision is nowhere near as clear cut. I’ve got one sort of
Elmore-Leonard-Meets-PT-Anderson thriller based on a partial script I abandoned
when I realized that what I wanted to accomplish with it could only be done in a
book, not a script. (Not a salable script, anyway, not unless I just finished
writing and directing Boogie Nights.) The other is also a thriller, but more
personal and emotional.
 
I’ve been planning on jumping into the first idea for months. But now that
I’m actually there, my heart and mind keep drifting to the other one. Downside
is, it’s going to be a lot harder. It’s not plotted — the other one is about
half-plotted, and I have a pretty good idea about the final trajectory — and
frankly, there are things in it I’m kind of scared to dive into for personal
reasons. But at the same time, it’s exciting me in a way the other one isn’t.
Sometimes scary is good.
 
As for commercial potential, I’d say they’re about the same. As in, who
knows?
 
My intellect is telling me to do the first one first, knock it out and move
on to the other one as my third novel. But my heart is pulling me in the other
direction. One way or another, I’ve got to commit.
 
If you’re not Lee Goldberg, with deadlines rushing at you every month and a
new book coming out every other week, how do you guys choose your next
project?

An Email I’m Not Going to Answer

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I got his creepy email from The Netherlands today:

Hello mr. Goldberg,

How do you do? i’m not so fine.

Iám a big fan of diagnosis murder and also from the familly  van Dyke, but i
don’t no how to write with them, i mis them very much. I hope that i can see
them some time, that’s my dream and it allways will be, because we haven’t no
money to come to America to find them.

Please could you help me? I hope so,’you are my last change.

iUniverse or PublishAmerica?

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I received this email today:

I was just ready to send my manuscript off to them when I stumbled upon your
article.  Last time I published I used iuniverse.  Do you have any other
feedback that you would like to share with me regarding these two companies?

I replied: I think self-publishing your novel is a mistake, but if you’re going to do it,
go with iUniverse. They are honest about who they are and what they do and
they turn out a very nice looking product.