My Blog

Dear Mr. Teriyaki

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Author Eric Stone posted this on the DorothyL discussion list this morning:

Did anyone else who attended Men of Mystery in Irvine, California
on Saturday find the story Dean Koontz told in his speech about his
letter writing campaign to the president of a Japanese company, offensive? I
did. And I’m pretty hard to offend. At least one other author I know who
was there, who has lived in Japan, also found it offensive. We both were
aghast. While most of the people in the audience were laughing, we
weren’t.

I write thrillers that are set in Asia. I know the region well.
I lived and worked in Asia for 11 years and though I never lived in Japan, I
visited it for business and on holidays at least twice a year that entire
time. If I was ever to create a character that would say or write things
similar to what Mr. Koontz claimed to have written in his letters to the
Japanese corporate executive, it would be for the purpose of showing him as
a culturally-insensitive lout – the Ugly American personified as it
were.

Sheesh, I was enjoying the event up until then, and looking forward
to hearing Mr. Koontz speak.

I also found his  letters to the Japanese CEO offensive.
So did quite a few other authors in attendance (I didn’t talk to any of the 550  "civilians" in the audience
about it).

Koontz talked about a dispute he
had with a studio owned by a Japanese company and regaled the audience with the
letters he wrote to the Japanese CEO, who he referred to as "Mr. Teriyaki." The
letters used WWII, the Japanese surrender, Bataan Death March, and Godzilla to ridicule the CEO and
browbeat him into taking Koontz’s name off a movie based on one of his books. To
say the jokes were in horrifically bad taste and that letters
themselves were cringe-inducing in their boorish insensitivity would be an
understatement.
 
What if the CEO was black? Would Koontz have addressed his letters to Mr. Fried Chicken and joked about the good old days of slavery and racial discrimination? Or if
the CEO was a Jew? Would he have called him Mr. Matzoball and reminded him of the
Holocaust? I was astonished that people were laughing when they should have
shunned him with silence. It’s a shame, because Koontz is an incredibly talented
writer who I’m sure could have delivered both an entertaining and interesting
speech.

UPDATE: My brother Tod was also shocked by Koontz’s speech.

Each letter was addressed to "Mr. Teriyaki." (Internment camps were not
mentioned in any of the letters, which I assume was a simple omission on Mr.
Koontz’s part and will be rectified in the future.)

Stunningly, the audience thrilled to the stories! The laughter cascaded about
the room! People dabbed tears! Do you have any stories about your hatred of the
Jews, Mr. Koontz? Any good ones about the Muslim world? How about a notation on
some more racial stereotypes you’ve used when negotiating your name off other
shitty movies?

Happily, author after author came walking to the back of the room in horror
(more horror than is typically engendered by one of Koontz’s books, no doubt)
and wonder about what they were hearing. Did he really just tell a 15 minute
story about the Japanese where he referred to the person in question as Mr.
Teriyaki? Was the audience really laughing? Or, as Rob Roberge said, "Is he
coming out in blackface next?"

UPDATE: I got a call today from Dean Koontz, who wasn’t pleased about the comments here. I apologized to him for using "Sambo" and "Kike" as comparisons for his use of "Mr. Teriyaki" to refer to the Asian exec. He found the use of those words pejorative and said they mischaracterized the tenor of his speech. I agreed. So I  have changed them to "Mr. Fried Chicken" and "Mr. Matzoball." I believe his speech was  offensive and in bad taste — and I reiterated that belief to him in our phone conversation.

Author Joe Konrath, who was also in attendance, weighs in on his blog:

There’s a lot of buzz circulating about Dean Koontz’s speech, and how
he offended many attendees. Personally, I didn’t find the remarks
offensive—Koontz was purposely trying to be humorously insulting, in
order to get a certain Japanese CEO to drop his name from a movie
title. His goal was to dishonor the guy. The problem was in the set-up
and the execution. Koontz just wasn’t very funny. George Carlin is a
lot more offensive, but gets away with it because he’s funny.

Had
Koontz spent more time showing he was the underdog, and established
that he wasn’t racist and did all of this to right an injustice (rather
than because he simply wanted his way, which is how he came off), I
think the story would have gone over a little better.

Or perhaps Mr. Koontz should simply retire this particular anecdote.

More UPDATES on the jump:

 

Read more

You Can’t Cash Acclaim at the Bank

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Jennifer Weiner talks on her blog about the plight of author Mary Gaitskill, a widely acclaimed novelist and a National Book Award finalist. But acclaim, as the NY Times reports in their piece on Gaitskill, doesn’t always translate into money. Gaitskill barely scratches out a living and is deeply in debt.

"Her life is not easy," said Knight Landesman, Ms. Gaitskill’s friend and the
publisher of the magazine Artforum. "There have been good reviews, but that does
not translate into dough. She has not been offered the cushy faculty job at
Princeton. The work has been too raw, and that’s why this has been, really, such
wonderful news."

Gaitskill’s financial troubles were a shock to Weiner, a bestselling novelist herself who considers the author a major influence.

Gaitskill was one of the writers who made me believe that I could be a
writer, too, and her characters, while creepy, live and breathe on the page. If
she’s in debt and living in a doom room trying to write over the noise of
Britney Spears, there’s something wrong with the modern-day patronage system
that I always figured was working pretty well.

I recommend both Weiner’s post and the NY Times article to all aspiring writers — many of whom have unrealistic expectations about what they can expect once they are published.  Sadly, Gaitskill’s story is far more common than Weiner’s.

Men of Mystery

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Yesterday, Tod and I attended the sixth annual Men of Mystery event — where 62 mystery authors hob-nob at the Irvine Marriott with 550 hot, sweaty, lusty female fans.  The objects of the women’s insatiable desire this time included Barry Eisler, J.A. Konrath, Gregg Hurwitz, Sean Doolittle, Thomas Perry, Eddie Muller, Gar Anthony Haywood, Nathan Walpow, Rob Roberge, David Corbett, Paul Levine, Mark Haskell Smith, Terrill Lee Lankford, Gary Phillips, Dick Lochte, Tom Nolan and Dean Koontz. As usual, I had a terrific time. I’ll leave it to my brother Tod to blog about the snarky details. The big surprise of the day was the announcement that MofM organizser Joan Hansen has been awarded The Raven by the Mystery Writers of America, which she certainly deserves.

Afterwards, Tod and I scooted down to the Barnes & Noble in Aliso Viejo where we discussed writing for two hours with a dozen friendly folks and managed to sell a whopping one book each. Ah, the glitz and glamor of being a Man of Mystery.

King Kong Tie-Ins

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Galleycat reports that Pocket Books is going ape for King Kong Tie-ins.

Anybody can put out a novelization for their blockbuster film, but Peter
Jackson had bigger plans for King Kong: He came up with a
backstory that’s been turned into an official prequel, King Kong: The
Island of the Skull [by Matthew Costello]. As Rod
Lott writes in Bookgasm, "Kong himself does not appear, not even in a
cameo. His name is whispered, his face is crudely drawn, but the ape never rears
his giant, ugly head." Still, Lott found it entertaining enough, and a cut above
the usual tie-in.

There will also be a novelization, by Christopher Golden, as well as two behind-the-scenes picture books (The Making of King Kong
and The World of King Kong), and sci-fi writer Karen Haber will be edit
Kong Unbound, "in which various writers will discuss "the history and
legacy of the most famous ape in Hollywood and his continuing impact on pop
culture and modern filmmakers."

Google Yourself At Your Own Risk

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Bestselling author Tess Gerritsen googled herself the other day and was stung by what she found.

Any writer who succumbs to the temptation of checking out what others are saying
about her books should be warned that what’s out there on the internet ain’t
always pretty. After eighteen books and twenty years in this business, I should
know better than to go searching for more reasons to drive myself crazy, but
what else is a masochist supposed to do in her spare time?

While you’re at it, stay away from Technorati and Blogpulse, too. Occasionally, I make the mistake of googling or blogpulsing myself and I’m always sorry I did. Do I really need to know all the different ways fanficcers and "Real People Slash" whackos would like me to fuck myself? No.

I also see a lot of outright lies and falsehoods — people accusing me of doing or saying something I never did or said. As infuriating as that is, I try to resist the strong temptation to refute every one of them (which would take hours, and draw me deeper into the cesspool, so I don’t bother).  It’s just not worth the time or effort.

But what attracts me to those Me Me Me searches, besides a raging ego, is that sometimes I will stumble on a positive review or an interesting discussion about my books, TV shows, or blog posts that I wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. Still, every time I type my name into one of those search engines I do so knowing I probably won’t like what I see…and vow never to do it again.

Until tomorrow.

My Sister Is So Dead

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We Goldbergs have really big mouths. My Mom, my brother, and my sisters all have blogs (and, of course, so do I. Not to mention my Uncle, my cousins, my distant cousins, even my sister-in-law for a while). Why?  Because we have really big mouths and can’t shut the hell up.  We love to share our opinions, our sordid pasts, and our stories with anybody who will listen.

Occasionally, this gets us into trouble, not just with fanficcers, ClassKC.org, vanity press companies, fucktards, and Tono Rondone, but with our own family of big mouths. My sister Linda talks about this (where else?) on her blog today.

Recent Flicks

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I’ve been remiss in commenting on the movies I’ve seen lately, so here goes:

PRIME. Insanely dull. Not funny. Closest I’ve coming to falling asleep in a movie theatre in decades. Oddly, my wife felt the same way.

THE SQUID AND THE WHALE. Jeff Daniels is terrific. Some great scenes. Film doesn’t so much end as it simply stops. Still, worth seeing.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK.  Based on the reviews, I was expecting a lot. My expectations weren’t met. David Strathairn’s performance as Murrow is great, but the film still skates on the surface. It doesn’t reveal anything you didn’t already know and offers no fresh insights.

IN HER SHOES. I’m embarrassed to admit how much I enjoyed this movie. My wife took me to it against my will and I found it funny, moving, and a well-acted. Sure, it’s a formula movie…but the formula works.

And there was some French movie we saw in the last month or so that was so forgettable that neither my wife nor I can remember what it was about, who was in it, or even what the title was.

Montgomery Simplifies

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David Montgomery reviews my brother Tod’s book SIMPLIFY on his site today. And he likes it.

Short story collections are nearly impossible to review, especially in
anything under several hundred words. (How do you comment generally on a book
that contains twelve different stories that vary in plot, theme, quality, etc.?)
Still, there are a few observations that one can make about Tod Goldberg’s
Simplify. The stories are sharp and insightful, many of them dealing
with issues emerging from childhood. The writing is often funny, even when it’s
painful, and always to the point, with keen dialogue and a strong voice.
Finally, the stories on the whole are powerful, provocative and a pleasure to
read. The title entry, in particular, is a minor masterpiece.

Reese Reckons

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The Book Standard reports that Reese Witherspoon will star in a movie adaptation of Jeff Long’s novel THE RECKONING.

The story centers on a photojournalist who arrives in Cambodia to cover the U.S.
military search for the remains of an American pilot shot down during the
Vietnam War.  Ted Tally (Red Dragon, The
Silence of the Lambs) penned the screenplay, which is out to directors.  Witherspoon will produce the project along with Type
A’s Jennifer Simpson.  Long’s
book was published by Atria in July 2004.