My Blog

This and That

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I’ve been busy with odds and ends the last couple of days — going to the doctor, attending HOA meetings, doing booksignings, working on content for the IAMTW website, and plotting the next DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel, which I should already be writing.

Today, my brother Tod and I were guests at Pinky’s Paperhaus, where we talked about our new books SIMPLIFY and THE MAN WITH IRON-ON BADGE and played some music that influenced our writing, all for a podcast that will go live in October. We also teamed up for a clumsy duet of  "The Ballad of Irving" (from  the 60s comedy album "When You’re in Love, the Whole World is Jewish.")  Until you can hear our immortal rendition, here are the lyrics:

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Search Me II

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Here are some of the searches that brought people to this blog today…

NippledroppearlsNinya Perna Sex (Who is "Ninya Perna?")
Jeri Ryan Encino  (Is someone trying to find out where she lives?)
Jenna Lewis Sex Tapes (Jenna who? People still remember her?)
Celebrity Nipples  (Would Jenna’s nipples qualify as celebrities?)
Hunter + McCall Slash Fanfic
Brothers Grimm Slash Fanfiction
Pernell Roberts (Odd..no one is asking about his plastic surgery, his nipples, or looking for slash fiction with him and Little Joe)
Lara Flynn Boyle Plastic Surgery (Nipple implants, no doubt)
White Wash + Ian Ludlow (this one aroused my curiosity)
Orlando Bloom + Mpreg
Reunion+ reality+sucks + Fox
Chicken Pot Pie
Worst Novel Opening Lines
William Shatner Plastic Surgery Hoax
Karina Lombard Nipples (what is it with this nipple obsession on the web?)
Lindsay Lohan Nipples (I knew that would get me hits!)

On the Road Again

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Zoegun5Yesterday, I kicked off a schedule of promotional events (that stretches into March 2006) by signing at The Mystery Book  Store and Mysteries to Die For with my friend Zoe Sharp, who is in the states from the U.K pushing her hot new novel FIRST DROP. She was accompanied by Andy, her swarthy body guard, photographer, sex slave, pack-horse, chauffeur and doting husband. We had a wonderful time meeting readers, chatting with booksellers and hanging out. My daughter Madison strong-armed Zoe into buying a copy of her book
ADVENTURES OF KITTY WONDER #2: LOTS OF KILLING and at Mysteries to Die
For, Andy test-drove the owner’s new Lexus hybrid. Zoe will be posting some pictures of our whirlwind L.A. tour on her website.  You can also check out her road-trip blog.

Here’s a story of a man named Brady

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I make the mistake of joking about  Partridge Family slash fanfic and what happens? My brother Tod finds this:

"Greg. Greg Brady." Greg proffered his hand to be shaken and Keith [Partridge] held onto it a little too long.

"You’re touring with us, right?"

"Uh huh." Greg licked his lips and wondered why his pants suddenly felt so tight.

"We should be getting ready."

"Yeah." Greg shook himself out of his reverie and said, "You have nice hair."

"Thanks. So do you."

"Maybe we could–" Greg started tentatively.

Keith smiled slowly. "I know a place."

"We could get caught. I mean–" Greg’s cheeks flamed bright red and he ducked his head to avoid Keith’s probable scrutiny.

"Not if we hurry. Come on."

Keith knew where all the dark places to hide were. He had to. He had an
overprotective mother and more siblings than he could count.

“How Much Did You Pay To Get Published?”

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Author Susan McBride posted her "Slightly Sarcastic Rules for Writers," a must-read for all aspiring novelists, on Lipstick Chronicles today. Among the questions she tackles are: "How Much Did You Pay To Get Published?" "What Font Should I Use?" "How Many Pages Should My Manuscript Be?" and "How Much Did You Pay Your Agent to Take You On?"

Every time I speak to groups of aspiring writers (I spoke last night to the Ventura County Writers Club), the first piece of advice I give them is not to pay to have their book published, that it’s a complete waste of money and is not a necessary step in becoming a professional writer. This always goes over badly — because half the room has either already self-published or just sent in their checks. They want to believe there’s a short-cut that gets them past all the scary hurdles of publishing…and they don’t want to discover that there isn’t.