Self Publishing

iUniverse By The Numbers – The Goldberg Edition

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A week or so back, I published some sobering statistics from Publisher’s Weekly about the sales performance and brick-and-mortar-store distribution of  iUniverse titles. Today, I got my quarterly royalty statement on my iUniverse titles — several out-of-print books republished at no charge to me through  Authors Guild and Mystery Writers of America programs. One great thing about iUniverse is that they pay royalties promptly and their clear, easy-to-read statements are posted online for you to view at any time.

I’ve gathered my statements for the last twelve months (2/04-2/05) and have posted them below so you can judge the performance for yourself. Some caveats — these books are reprints of previous published titles, so they have the benefit of the publicity and awareness that came from being in print before.  In addition, these "Back in Print" titles have been in release with iUniverse now for over four years.

Unsold TV Pilots  List Price:  $13.95  Royalty: 30%
Copies Sold            Total Sales             My Royalty
84                                  $780.69                   $234,23

Unsold Television Pilots Vol. 1 List Price: $26.95  Royalty: 25%
Copies Sold            Total Sales              My Royalty
15                                  $258.75                     $64.69
 
Unsold Television Pilots Vol 2 List Price: $24.95  Royalty 25%
Copies Sold                Total Sales                  My Royalty
15                                   $239.55                     $59.88

Total Sales: $1278.99
Total Royalty:  $358.80

iUniverse CEO Susan Driscoll and I have been trading friendly emails for the last few days. I’ve invited her to post her view on the PW stats and asked if she’d allow me to follow up a little later with a Q&A interview. She’s agreed… so look for her post here in the very near future.

Self-Promotion vs Self-Destruction

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I received this spam email today from Richard Brawer. The subject heading was:  "New Book from MWA Member."

Hi
Everyone,

I’d like to introduce you to David Nance in his latest case,
"MURDER ON THE LINKS", a mystery set at the Jersey shore, in Monmouth
County.

Book Jacket:

The body of a prostitute is found tossed into
the woods bordering the fifth hole of a posh golf club.  The same day a penny
stock promoter and the daughter of a New York mobster are found murdered in a
mansion in the wealthy community of Elberon, New Jersey. Peer into mob
infested stock brokers scamming worthless paper to naïve investors, and into the
deviant world of the rich with their kinky sexual appetites as David Nance roots
out the murderer from among the members of Spring Brook Golf and Country
Club.

Read excerpts of Murder On The Links and all the books in the
David Nance Mysteries Series at:  www.rbrawerbooks.com

ORDER FORM: MURDER
ON THE LINKS is only offered through the mail from HFFO, Inc.  Please print out
this form:

I think this email is a perfect example of how NOT to promote your book.  Beyond being impersonal, there is no hook, no angle, no grabber. Nothing that would persuade you to do anything except hit the delete key. 

If you are going to send out a spam email, the least you should do is make every possible effort to make your solicitation an attention-grabber, something that hypes your book and makes people want to read it (especially if your book, like this one, is self-published and only available through mail-order).

Let’s start with the subject heading: "New Book from MWA Member." That’s supposed to mean something? That’s supposed to intrigue me? New books come out from MWA members every day. Your subject heading is your headline, your banner, your movie marquee… it should entice the reader to open the mail, not delete it. (I only opened this one because I had a feeling it would make a good blog post).

But he compounds the error by making the first line of his email an utter snooze: "I’d like to introduce you to David Nance in his latest case, "MURDER ON THE LINKS", a mystery set at the Jersey shore, in Monmouth County."

Why would anyone bother to read further? I’ve read  time-share sales invitations that are more exciting.  Sadly, the rest of the email is just as perfunctory and dull.

Where’s the salesmanship? Where’s the enthusiasm? Where’s any reason whatsoever to read the email…much less the book?  Whether the author realizes it or not, the email reflects on him and his book. If the email is flat, dull, pointless and lazy, it implies the book probably is, too.

Rather than promoting his book, I think Richard Brawer has done the opposite…he’s driven people away.

I Miss Richard Wheeler’s Blog

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Legendary western novelist Richard Wheeler left this comment on my earlier post about "’Not Ready For Publication’ Authors."  I couldn’t let it remain buried there… he has far too much wit and wisdom to share. 

I don’t know of any shortcuts to literary success. This story drawn
from memory may be apocryphal, and it may involve Thornton Wilder
rather than the crusty New York drama critic Alexander Woolcott, but it
makes the point, true or not.

Woolcott was invited to address the Yale Drama Club, which was
composed of aspiring playwrights. He stalked out on the stage, peered
down at all the young people from behind the lectern, and said, "Why
are you here? If you want to be playwrights, then go home and write."
And with that, walked off the stage. He returned a moment later, having
made his point, and discussed writing with the aspiring Yale students.

iUniverse is gifted at printing handsome books, and perhaps it
pleasures a writer to see his or her material printed. But it is not
true publication. It is not the authentic thing. I can best describe
what real publication is about by borrowing a paragraph from Ed
Gorman’s fine blog. On that day, some of us were discussing an agent,
Ray Puechner, who had a way of helping his struggling clients. Here is
what Ed wrote about him. It truly depicts what it is like to sell a
book to a real publisher, in this case Houghton Mifflin:

The day my wife Carol sold her first novel—to Houghton-Mifflin, no
less—he called (she was at school, teaching) and said, “Here’s what you
do. Buy her flowers and as soon as she comes in the door give ‘em to
her along with a big kiss.” I got the flowers all right but when she
came in the door, I put up my hand to halt her right there. I had the
flowers behind my back. And then I said, “Will anybody who just sold
her first novel to Houghton Mifflin please step forward.” Then the
flowers came out and then the kissing and hugging and laughing. When
she called Ray to thank him—I was on an extension phone—they both got
very teary. It wasn’t just a great day for Carol and Ray—it was also a
great day for me. And Ray had made it so.

Ed Gorman has perfectly described a real sale of a first novel.

I can only urge aspiring writers to write and write and write, and rewrite it again.

It’s posts like this that make me wish Richard Wheeler had stuck with his blog. Well, he’s welcome to post here anytime (and you can find him frequently at over at Ed Gorman’s blog).

“Not Ready For Publication” Authors

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Novelist Karin Gillespie keeps running into a self-published author on the bookselling/hyping circuit and it’s pissing her off. 

Writing a book doesn’t make someone an author anymore than applying
a Band-Aid to a skinned knee makes someone a doctor. Reviewers of large
newspapers, publishing people and most media outlets can spot these
so-called “authors” fairly readily, but how can the average Joe tell
the difference between a real writer and a dilettante?

I know
I sound petty, but as a writer who went through a great deal of trouble
to learn my craft, I’m annoyed that my efforts and other authors’
efforts are diluted by not-ready-for-publication authors.

After
all, the public is deluged with plenty of traditionally published
books; it shouldn’t have to sort through the efforts of amateurs as
well.

Yikes.  I hope she owns a Kevlar vest.  My sister-in-law Wendy apparently hasn’t learned anything watching all the trouble her husband and brother-in-law get into expressing their opinions on self-publishing, fanfic, and well, just about everything. She dives head-first into the controversy with:

I can say I agree with the sentiment that self publishing, well, doesn’t count as being published.  Printed yes, published no.

Boo hiss. Tar and feather me. I am not a friend of the artist. I’m elitist; a cog in corporate America’s machine to destroy fresh, young voices. Oh, grow up.

I have this theory: not everyone deserves to be published. It’s not like kindergarten where every kid gets a gold star for showing up. It’s more like high school where not every graduating senior has the academic chops to gain admittance to Harvard. A harsh reality for anyone with a dream, but a reality nonetheless.

They are both echoing the fine advice that Richard Wheeler left on this blog the other day. Even so, I’m sure these posts are bound to create a firestorm of anger among the PublishAmerica an iUniverse customers who call themselves published authors.

Good Advice

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Legendary western novelist Richard Wheeler used iUniverse, free of charge, to reprint some of his out-of-print novels through the Authors Guild "Back in Print" program (I did the same thing with MY GUN HAS BULLETS).  He has some good advice for aspiring authors who are thinking about self-publishing their novel.

The quality of a book usually has little to do with its sales numbers at
vanity presses such as iUniverse. Through the Authors Guild back-in-print
program, I have put ten successful reverted novels back in print through
iUniverse. These were all published by reputable NYC houses, including
Doubleday, M. Evans, and Forge (Tom Doherty Associates). One won a Spur Award.
Most were well reviewed.

The annual royalties I receive from iUniverse for all ten titles is around a
hundred dollars. Why? Because iUniverse is at bottom a printer, not a publisher.
It only minimally performs publishing functions, such as editing, copyediting,
and marketing. Nonprofessionals who take the vanity press route are deluding
themselves if they think they are being published, when all they are achieving
is a printing of their material.

I know of no shortcuts: if you can write something powerful and potentially
profitable, you have a chance. If you regularly attend genre fiction
conferences, you will have a good opportunity to meet editors and agents and
make your work known to them.

The vanity press alternative is a printed book, not a published book. It will
supply you with the illusion that you are a published author. But it is only an
illusion. Go for the brass ring. Stretch yourself, discipline your work, get up
at five and write and write and write.

I think he’s absolutely right.  My experience with iUniverse has been a good one… but I didn’t use them to self-publish a novel. 

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How Not To Get a Blurb

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A self-published author sent me a generic email asking me to read his book and blurb it. I’ve taken out his name, and the title of the book, as a courtesy:

I am  about to launch the XYZ novels, which are
legal/crime thrillers. I would love to get a blurb from you for the first novel
in this series, XYZ.  I have attached the first few chapters for
your review and will be happy to send the full book upon request.  I
thoroughly believe that you will find this book compelling and will be proud to
have your name associated with it, otherwise I wouldn’t intrude upon your
valuable time.

As compelling as his personal endorsement of his own book is, that’s not a good enough reason for me to read his novel.  In fact, this solicitation is a classic example of how to not to get an author to read your book. For instructions on how to do it right, check out author Gregg Hurwitz’s checklist of dos-and-don’ts for blurb pitching.

Lose Pounds the iUniverse Way

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Today I received this email, which I’m assuming is in response to my post "iUniverse By The Numbers."

Is it bad writing that prevents a POD book from selling or many other factors? I challenge you: an established, tradional,  successful writer to submit something you wrote to a POD and when it doesn’t sell
will it be because of bad writing?

Additionally, everyone allows for the fact even a POD publisher is going to have 2-3 successful books per year. Well, when  you consider there are at least 100 POD outfits that means they are publishing  300 books per year that are worthy of being published. The problem is not with  the concept of POD.  The problem is there are too many PODs with limited ethical and quality standards. Imagine if there was one POD publisher that alone printed the previously mentioned 300 books.

I wonder a hundred years from now, will the reviewers of history look upon the likes of  Monk and Dick Van Dyke as highly as you view your works.
Furthermore, how many bad books gain success simply because of the stature of the author (Clinton,Fisher,Grisham) and the correct  marketing plan. Correctly done, a book with 200 completely blank  pages could become a top seller.

I think we both agree one of us is living in a Dream
World. We simply disagree on who it is.

Sincerely,
John S. Meade

I’m not sure why John is so angry with me. I guess the story told by the iUniverse stats was a very rude awakening for him.  Let’s tackle his points one by one:
 

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iUniverse By The Numbers

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Publishers Weekly posted a very revealing look at iUniverse in this week’s issue. It should be a real eye-opener for aspiring writers who actually believe they will sell any books by going the self-publishing route. Out of  18,000 books iUniverse published in 2004, only 83 titles sold at least 500 copies and a mere 14 showed up on the shelves of Barnes & Noble.  That’s the reality, folks.

2004
18,108: Total number of titles
published
14: Number of titles
sold through B&N’s bricks-and-mortar stores (nationally)
83: Number of titles that sold at least 500
copies
792,814: Number of copies
printed
32,445: Number of copies
sold of iUniverse’s top seller, If I Knew Then by Amy Fisher

2003
15,028: Total number of titles
published
7: Number of titles
sold through B&N’s bricks-and-mortar stores (nationally)
76: Number of titles that sold at least 500
copies
700,930: Number of copies
printed
10,186: Number of copies
sold of iUniverse’s top seller, The Sweater LetterbyDavid
Distel
$299: Cost of iUniverse’s
lowest-cost publishing package (includes one book)
$799: Cost of iUniverse’s most expensive
publishing package (includes 10 books)
$199: Cost of a basic press kit
$1,500: Cost of book publicity service, which
includes media pitches

Blog Blowback for Lori Prokop

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I’m not the only one amused by Lori Prokop and her ridiculous BookMillionaire reality show scam. Other blogs are having fun with it, too. For example,  Richard Cobbett took a look at the requirements to be one of the "contestants" on the informercial:

Onephoto_1You can apply if you meet any one of the following criteria:

You don’t need to have written your book or manuscript but you have an idea you feel would be a good book, or…

You may have been told by people that you should write a book, or…

You have a desire to become published and to live the incredible lifestyle of a rich, famous author, or…

You may have started writing your book, but it is not completed yet, or…

You may have your book written. It is completed but not published, or…

You may have published your book, but it has not sold like you wanted.

In
other words, you don’t need to write, you don’t need to have written,
you don’t need to know what you’d like to write, and a pulse would seem
entirely optional. According to the infamous host Lori Prokop – whose
name is an anagram of OIL PORK PRO – only about 5% of writing involves
writing, while the other 95% is buying her self-help books-oops, sorry,
business and marketing.

Applying to be a contestant also gets you on Lori’s coveted email list, as SeaWhyspers says.

Then you’ll be subscribed (forever) to the newsletter
which will solve ALL of your problems with writing: Become Best Seller
(does anyone else already feel nauseous over the pathetic grammer used
on this site?). I can’t say ANY of those bulleted items sounds remotely
like writing to me (scamming, sure), but what do I know? I’m not a Best
Seller, and I’m absolutely SURE it’s because I’m not getting this
newsletter.

 

For someone who thinks of herself as a marketing genius, she sure screwed up this campaign. Perhaps she’d have better luck targeting chiropractors again instead of writers.  If you’d like to add Lori to your own "Get Rich Quick" mailing list, her  oh-so-subtle, loaded-with-integrity, email address is: Cash@megabestseller.com.

(Click here and scroll down the page to hear  Lori pitch some of her get-rich-quick schemes as a tease for her presentation at the "Internet Gravy Train to Riches" conference that was held in 2003.)

Xerox’s Vanity

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It looks like Xerox is getting into the vanity-press business and using a contest to lure in customers:

Dust off the manuscript that’s hiding under your bed and enter the Xerox
Aspiring Authors Contest. The company is on a nationwide search for the best
work of unpublished fiction to demonstrate the power of digital print-on-demand
as a smart alternative to traditional publishing.

The grand prize winner gets $5000 and a 100 copies of their own book.  (Thanks to Michael Bracken for the heads-up).