Mystery Writing

Blue-Eyed Devil is Wide-Eyed Awful

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Blueeyeddevil  I'm a big fan of Robert B. Parker's  early Virgil & Everett westerns (APPALOOSA,RESOLUTION, etc.) but the latest, BLUE EYED DEVIL, is Parker at his worst. For starters, it's hardly a book at all, more like a long short story fattened up with large fonts, three-page chapters, and lots of white space. 

Professional gun hands Virgil Cole and Everett Hitch return to Appaloosa, the setting for the first (and best) book in the series and spend most of their time sitting on one porch or another sipping whiskey and talking about how smart, skilled, capable, and all around marvelous they are. Occasionally, they get up and shoot someone. The plotting is episodic, improvised, and often inept. For example, at one point, their old friend Pony Flores, a inscrutable and wise half-breed Indian, shows up on the run from the law with his silent brother but isn't worried about being caught because, like Virgil and Everett, he's so damn good.

"Anybody on your trail?" Virgil said.

Pony shook his head.

"Only man can track Pony Flores," he said, "is me."

"Good," Virgil said.

But a few pages later, the law shows up looking for him anyway. Virgil quizzes the trackers.

"What makes you think he's here?" Virgil said.

"Folks in Van Buren spotted them, couple weeks back, heading south. This is the next town."

Virgil nodded.

So Pony's brilliant, untrackable method for eluding pursuers is to go in a straight line from one town to the next, making sure that he's seen.  But Virgil and Everett continue to regard Pony as a master tracker and eluder anyway.

An editor might have caught that bit of insipidness and, perhaps, also the half-dozen repetitions of the phrase "when the balloon goes up" throughout the book, but it's been a while since anybody has bothered editing Parker…and that disinterest and laziness continues even after his death.

Parker relies on all of his tropes in this book, repeating banter that I swear I've read in all of his books and lifting situations whole from previous entries in the series (for instance, once again Everett finds a sweet, warm-hearted, still beautiful hooker willing to have sex with him for free because she gets so hot hearing him talk about how competent and marvelous he and Virgil are)

Parker has succeeded in killing this series with his own disinterest the same way he did with the Jesse Stone books. Both series started out great and then he seemingly gave up making any effort, letting them become thinly-written and loosely conceived parodies of themselves. It's a sad thing to see and even more painful to read. At least it's over fast. I doubt BLUE EYED DEVIL is even 30,000 words.

I truly hope that the two upcoming SPENSER novels that Parker finished before his death are a return to form and not, as I fear, a sad coda to a once-great writer's career.

Me at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books

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As usual, I had a fantastic time at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. I got to talk with so many writers, including Hannah Dennison, Brett Battles, Denise Hamilton, Gregg Hurwitz, John Wirth, Jane Smiley, Doug Lyle, Paul Levine, Cara Black, Joseph Wambaugh, Gary Phillips, Megan Abbott, Alex Espinoza, Cecil Castellucci, Tim Maleeny, Robert Gregory Browne, and Robert Dugoni, to name just a few. I also talked to tons of readers and bought a bunch of signed books, including "Model Home" by Eric Puchner, "Up in the Air" by Walter Kirn, and "A Bad Day for Sorry" by Sophie Littlefield. Here I am with my brother Tod and William Rabkin at the Mystery Bookstore booth.

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And here's Christopher Rice, me, and Joseph Wambaugh.

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And here I am with Todd Reynolds, who is going to be one of the stars of the short film I am shooting in Owensboro KY this fall.

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I moderated a panel with Gayle Lynds, Christopher Rice and David Corbett and it went great. It was a nice mix of laughter, good advice, and knowledgeable observations about the craft and business of writing. I think we had as much fun as the audience. I hope I get to moderate another panel next year.

You Can Become a Kindle Millionaire, Part 17: The Bet

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The following is an email exchange between me and Joe Konrath earlier this month:

TO: LEE GOLDBERG

FROM: JOE KONRATH

If I were you, I'd rename all the .357 Vigilante books getting rid of ".357" and "Vigilante" in their titles. The new covers should be generic–maybe a gun or some sort of weapon as the central image–but they should also tie together as a brand. And they should be done by an artist. Maybe a friend (you must have graphic artist friends) or maybe you can hold a contest on your blog. I'm convinced your covers and titles (which scream "Men's Action") are holding back sales of this fun series. 

TO: JOE KONRATH

FROM: LEE GOLDBERG

I'm not sure that changing the covers for .357 VIGILANTE (or the titles) will help. The books are what they are — pulpy, mens action adventure novels from the 1980s. That is their appeal…and their drawback. 

TO: LEE GOLDBERG

FROM: JOE KONRATH

Give me $XYZ. I'll give it to my graphic artist to redo the covers for the Vigilante books. Let me retitle them and do the product descriptions, and I bet your sales go up at least 25% in a two month period (compared to your last two months of sales.) If they don't, I'll give you the $XYZ back, and you get the covers for free. That's how sure I am those books will sell with the right packaging.

TO: JOE KONRATH

FROM: LEE GOLDBERG

You have a deal!

So I sat back and let Joe have his way with my books. Here's the original cover for .357 VIGILANTE:

Vigilante1forsmashwords
And here is what he did with it:

Vigilante 1
Here is the original cover for .357 VIGILANTE #2: MAKE THEM PAY:

Vigilante2forsmashwords
And here is what he did with it:

Vigilante 2
Here's the original cover I cobbled together for .357 VIGILANTE: DIE MR. JURY, an omnibus collection of all four .357 VIGILANTE books:

Face and logo9
Here's the revamp I did for it last month:

Die Mr Jury1l
And here's what Joe did:

Jury Series
It's only a little past mid-month, but already it's clear that he's won the bet and his repackaging is a success.

Last month, 357 VIGILANTE  sold 59 copies or about 2 copies a day. This month, with the new title and cover, it has already sold 46 copies, or about 3 copies a day. It remains to be seen whether that pace of sales will continue for the rest of the month. But wait…

 .357 VIGILANTE #2: MAKE THEM PAY sold 39 copies last month and now, with the new title and cover, it has already topped that by selling 43 copies. But wait…

.357 VIGILANTE #3: WHITE WASH sold 23 copies last month. So far this month, with the new title and cover, it has sold 27 copies.  But wait…

.357 VIGILANTE #4: KILLSTORM sold 14 copies last month. But with the new title and cover, it has sold 48 copies. That's right, the sales have more than tripled and the month isn't over yet. But wait, it gets even better…

.357 VIGILANTE: DIE MR. JURY sold 20 copies last month and now, with the new title and cover, it has sold 47 copies…the sales have more than doubled and the month isn't over yet. What's really surprising about this bump is that the book is priced at $4.99, making it the most expensive of my previously published/out-of-print titles on the Kindle. They aren't buying it because it's cheaper than everything else out there…I believe they are doing it because they think they are getting a great deal, four books for the price of one, a point Joe hammered home on the new cover far more effectively (and clearly) than I did on the old ones.

Based on these results, I quickly reworked the covers of MY GUN HAS BULLETS, THREE WAYS TO DIE and BEYOND THE BEYOND (retitling it DEAD SPACE) to take advantage of what I learned from the bet and from Joe's example.

What did I learn?

1. Your covers should have a clear, simple, striking image that will still pop out when the cover is reduced to the size of a postage stamp.

2. Your covers need to have a consistent, branded look.

3. Don't be afraid to experiment, to rethink everything about how your book is presented: the title, the cover art, the categories its listed under, the way you describe it, the way you've priced it. Just because your book has been posted, that doesn't mean it's been carved in stone and can't be altered. You need to adapt to find your audience. In other words, you can't just post your book on the Kindle and leave it. Your book will continue to need attention and, if necessary, updating to stoke sales.

More of Me

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There's a new interview with me up on the Cinema & Fiction blog. Here's an excerpt:

Mystery, crime and detectives are a recurring element in your writing. What do you find so appealing about this type of writing?

I guess on a basic level, the great thing about mysteries is they have a lot of conflict and forward momentum. The story is driven by a need to solve the mystery — that gives you somewhere to go, a ticking clock, and built-in conflict. 

You have written for TV and written novels. What do you think are some of the major possibilities and limitations of these different forms of writing?

As you say, they are very different kinds of writing. In scripts you have to show, not tell. Character and story have to be revealed only through action and dialogue. A screenplay is a blueprint, a working document for other professionals, like costume designers, location managers, and of course actors and directors. A book is very different. You can go into people's heads to tell stories and reveal character. You have to set the scene in great detail all the time. You are the director, the location manager, the actor and the director. You're creating a complete world with no limitations all by yourself. That can be exciting and daunting at the same time. I've encountered many screenwriters who simply can't write a book and many authors cannot write scripts. I've only met a few who can do both. They are different ways of telling a story and also different ways of thinking of story. 

Derringer Finalists

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The finalists for the Derringer Award, honoring excellence in short stories, have been announced and it's great to see so many of my friends on the list. Congratulations to you all!

 FLASH
"And Here's To You, Mrs. Edwardson," by Hamilton Waymire
Submitted by Kai Wehmeier
Published in the webzine *Big Pulp*, November 23, 2009

"Awake" by David Dean
Submitted by Art Taylor
Published in EQMM, July 2009

"Gutterball" by Stephen D. Rogers
Submitted by Stephen D. Rogers
Published in Woman's World Magazine, Sep 7, 2009

"The Right Track" by R.T. Lawton
Submitted by R.T. Lawton
Published in Woman's World Magazine, 10/26/09

"Unplanned" by Libby Cudmore
Submitted by Libby Cudmore 
Published in Thrillers, Killers 'n' Chillers, August 2009

SHORT
"Identity Theft" by Robert Weibezahl
Submitted by Robert Weibezahl
Published in Beat to a Pulp, March 2009

"The Biography of Stoop the Thief" by Steven Torres
Submitted by Steven Torres
Published in Uncage Me!, July 2009

"The Hard Sell" by Jay Stringer
Submitted by Beat to a Pulp
Published in Beat to a Pulp, 2009

"The Right to Remain Silent" by Debbi Mack
Submitted by Debbi Mack
Published in Back Alley Webzine, August 2009

"Twas the Night" by Anita Page
Submitted by Anita Page
Published in The Gift of Murder, 2009

LONG
"A Stab in the Heart" by Twist Phelan
Submitted by Twist Phelan
Published in EQMM, February

"Famous Last Words" by Doug Allyn
Submitted by Larry Chavis
Published in EQMM, November

"Regarding Certain Occurrences in a Cottage at the Garden of Allah" by Robert S. Levinson
Submitted by Robert S.Levinson
Published in AHMM, November

"Snow of Bloedkoppie" by Berhard Jaumann (translated from the German by Mary Tannert)
Submitted by Richard Posner
Published in EQMM, August

"The Shipbreaker" by Mike Wiecek
Submitted by EQMM
Published in EQMM, March/April

NOVELETTE
"Adjuncts Anonymous" by B.K. Stevens
Submitted by Bonnie K. Stevens
Published in EQMM, June

"Julius Katz" by Dave Zeltserman
Submitted by EQMM
Published in EQMM, September/October

"The Last Drop" by R.W. Kerrigan
Submitted by EQMM
Published in EQMM, February

"The Pirate's Debt" by Toni L.P. Kelner
Submitted by Toni L.P. Kelner
Published in EQMM, August

"Uncle Brick and Jimmy Kills" by Allan Leverone
Submitted by Allan Leverone
Published in Mysterical-E

Bizarre Question: The Sequel

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The same woman who asked me yesterday if I knew any agents who specialized in "jewish psychic detectives" approached me again today as I was signing books after my screenwriting panel with April Smith, George Mastras, Donald Bain, and Derek Haas.

"Do you know of any agents or producers who are looking for screenplays about a university called Griffin University — but I have to change the name to a different university because there is a Griffin University — that lures in the most creative students only to kill them because they are on a secret mission to eradicate creativity in the year 2310?"

"Yes, I do," I said.  "Unfortunately, the agents and producers who specialize in scripts about universities with secret plans to eradicate creativity already have so many scripts about universities with secret plans to eradicate creativity that they just aren't taking any more."

"Are they set in 2310?"

"A lot of them are," I said. 

"Oh, that's a shame," she said and looked over at screenwriter Derek Haas, sitting a few seats down from me, signing books. He co-wrote WANTED (the movie with Angelina Jolie), 3:10 TO YUMA, and DECEIT.  I am very jealous of him.

"Do you think that he might know of producers who are still looking for screenplays about a university with a secret plan to eradicate creativity in 2310?" she asked.

"He definitely would," I said. "You should go ask him."

When I left the conference a few minutes later, she was talking to him and he looked as if he was in pain. I won't say that I ran out of the hotel, but I was moving very quickly.

Changing the Act

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My friend author Gar Anthony Haywood has taken a long hiatus from attending conferences. But he's coming back for Left Coast Crime next month. But he's not going to be the same guy he was in the past.

I’ve revamped the act I used to do in public settings such as this and will be testing out the new and improved one at LCC. Gar Anthony Haywood, the conference panelist who never met a punch line he didn’t like, is no more.

It won’t be an easy transition for me. Going for the laugh has always been my M.O. when faced with panel audiences. One, because humor comes more naturally to me than eloquence and, two, because I used to regard writers who can’t bring themselves to crack a smile when answering a moderator’s question as stuffed shirts with an overinflated sense of their own importance. I thought it was better to be remembered as a joker than quickly forgotten as a smart and articulate egomaniac.

Now, I’m not so sure. At least, if being the most memorably hilarious writer at a conference has any long-term benefits, I would seem to have failed to reap them.

It isn’t just humor’s questionable value as a marketing strategy that’s driving my P.R. metamorphosis, however. I’m also looking to more accurately represent the literary heft I’d like to think my more recent writing carries.

I'm not sure he's right. I've seen way too many writers who think because they write dark, brooding, moody stuff that they have to be dark, brooding and moody themselves. I am a firm believer in just being yourself, and if you happen to be funny, that's fine. Nobody likes schtick, though, whether you are telling jokes or being the darkest guy in the room. My brother Tod writes dark stuff, and he's always funny on panels, and that didn't stop him from getting nominated for the LA Times Book Prize. Craig Johnson's stuff is procedural cop stuff that borders on the literary…and he's always hilarious on panels. Hasn't stopped Craig from being taken seriously, or for his books to win widespread acclaim. I guess what I'm saying Gar, if you're reading this, is just be Gar and stop over-thinking it.

Robert B. Parker, RIP

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LeeParker  I've had a long, on-and-off love affair with Robert B. Parker's books, and although I have criticized his last few novels, I will deeply miss him, and not just as a reader of his work. He had an enormous impact on my career. In fact, I broke into the TV biz with three freelance episodes of SPENSER FOR HIRE.  

I was lucky enough to meet him on several occasions. The last time was way back in 2002 at the Edgars, when he was named Grandmaster and I was nominated for a NERO WOLFE episode. We had a very nice conversation about writing for TV and the PI genre.  

I understand that there are three or four more Parker novels in the pipeline, including a Jesse Stone, a Spenser, and a western. I'm sure I will read them the week they come out…just as I have with every book he's written since I was a kid.

Mr. Monk and the Thrill of it All

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Monk and the Dirty Cop

Chris Well at The Thrill of It All has given MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP some love. He says, in part:

Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop is a real-deal whodunit that will have you turning the pages as Monk puts each clue in its proper place. But at its heart, this isn't just a another book where Monk works through his OCD long enough to solve a murder mystery — it's also a book that challenges some of our preconceptions about the relationships Monk has with Capt. Stottlemeyer and with Natalie. By the end of the journey, we've learned something about these people — and they've learned something about themselves.
Whether you're a fan of the TV show or not, Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop is a gem for any fan of mystery fiction.

Thanks Chris!