I’m a sucker for Chuck Norris jokes. I heard a few today that I hadn’t heard before…
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse… Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
If you misspell "Chuck Norris" on Google, it doesn’t ask, "Did you mean
Chuck Norris?" It just says, "Run while you still think you have a
chance."Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles contest"…Chuck Norris won by 3.
My personal favorite: When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris became a cannibal and was eating a clown. The clown was too intimidated to taste funny.
Chuck Norris was flashing old ladies in the park. Two had strokes, and one with arthritis couldn’t reach.
Why are Chuck Norris movies so hot? Because there are no fans in the theater.
A judicious choice of words, “I heard a few today that I hadn’t heard before” rather than “I heard some good ones!”
There is no global warming. There is only Chuck Norris’ burning rage.
Why was Chuck Norris banned from the Writers’ Strike? Hundreds died when he took it literally in ’88.
To compensate for the size of his manhood, Chuck Norris drives a Mini Cooper.