Here’s how one of my favorite authors described passionate love-making in a recent novel:
“He carried her to the bed. It was like two tornadoes competing for the same trailer park. When they were done, he lay on his back with his head over the edge of the bed breathing hard and looking out the curtained window to the upside-down Pacific.”
I laughed when I read it. I think it was meant to be funny…wasn’t it?
I don’t think it was meant to be funny. l like the “looking at an upside-down Pacific.” And yes, writing sex scenes is hard- there is that delicate balance between prose and porn.
It might have been meant to be funny. I guess it depends on the context.
Just reading the quotation, I took it to be serious. It was inventive, for me, in comparing two persons as tornadoes during love-making, a simile I’d not heard of before, and a nice generalization that gets to the heart of the relationship while leaving out unnecessary details.
But the best part was the guy lying over the edge of the bed. What a nice realistic touch. It happens, but who else has put such a detail down in writing? And it seems to imply so much. And then the guy is looking out the window upside-down. For me, there’s a palpable realism going on that’s refreshing and interesting.
But if it was meant to be funny — a whirlwind romance, so to speak — I guess the next step is for the guy to fall out of bed on his head.
Metaphors and similes beat plumbing every time.
Geez! I wish I’d written that. It’s hysterical!
Describing sex should be nothing but frank.
The use of metaphors is ridiculous, because sex is not like anything else really.
However I suppose there is a fine line between erotic and smaltzy, because you don’t want to become some cheesy romance novel describing the multitudes of ways you can take off a girl’s dress.
But yes, that passage was just plain dumb haha. Trailer park? Sorry???
Amazing. Well, at least the author didn’t refer to the man’s “throbbing member.”
Yeah, sans cliche but not literary art by any stretch. My editor requires more detail. This wouldn’t pass muster.
Perfectly playful. Not haha funny, but it made me smile. I give it an A+.