House as Dr. Sloan’s Son

The folks over at  Toobworld are pondering who should play the father of  Dr. Greg House (Hugh Laurie) on Fox’s hit  HOUSE M.D.  They’ve settled on Dick Van Dyke… as Dr. Mark Sloan.  Here’s their thinking:

From a production viewpoint, [the] obstacles could be smoothed over.  It’s from the inner reality of the plotline that we might face a few arguments.  Most of all, it’s the fact that there was never any mention of a second son for Dr. Mark Sloan in all the years ‘Diagnosis Murder’ was on the air.
He had two children – Steve Sloan, a Los Angeles police detective who often worked with his dad in solving cases;  and a daughter who was tragically murdered.  Added to this is the obvious difference in their last names – Sloan and House.

I’m not the only one who can see the obvious answer, right? Greg House is the illegitimate son of Mark Sloan.

The days when our TV heroes were cast as exemplars of virtue are long gone. Nowadays they have flaws, and foibles, and failings – they are the F-Troop. They make mistakes in Life, but eventually they admit to them and they rise above them. (Unless of course we’re talking about Detective Vic Mackey of ‘The Shield’.) That’s what makes them human, what makes them real. And what makes them interesting to watch week after week. Having been the bastard son of a noted crime-solving doctor on the West Coast might be a great explanation for some of Dr. House’s acerbic attitude towards the rest of the world at large. And a chance to rectify that situation with a renewed relationship with the father he never knew might provide for as many episodes as they wanted to run with it; perhaps a once-a-year type of reunion.  And nothing says they HAVE to iron out all their differences. After all, we don’t want House becoming all sweetness and light – that’s not why he’s
become such an interesting character for the audience.

There’s only one excuse for someone giving this idea so much thought.  Procrastination. The same reason I am posting this instead of plotting my next (the seventh!) DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel.  How’s that for irony, eh?

1 thought on “House as Dr. Sloan’s Son”

  1. There are a few other issues, as I see them:
    1. Would there be hurt/comfort scenes between Mark and House? If so, would they reciprocate with hurt/comfort scenes, at least in memory, with Steve?
    2. Would they first consult with the fanfiction writers to make sure they weren’t hurting any existing storylines?
    3. Would the people with the petition to get DM back on CBS agree to stop their letter writing now that Mark was House’s father?
    4. Would you agree to provide the exact schematics of the operating room on DM so that House fanfic writers could construct flashback fics where House watches his father at work, but from a distance?
    5. Would you then have a personal vendetta against House in your books?
    6. How would the show’s producers explain how House has normal hair, but Steve has a feathered mullet?
    7. House seems smart. Steve doesn’t. That will anger some people. They’d have to have a lot of hurt/comfort scenes between House and Steve. And they should be hot.
    Otherwise, I say its a go.


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