I’m a Fraud

That’s how I feel today. I have spent the whole day working on my latest book and all I’ve managed to write is absolute swill. One whole paragraph of it. Yeah, that’s it. One measly, rotten, pathetic paragraph…one so bad, so inept, no professional writer could possibly have written it (nor would he have spent all DAY doing it).

I don’t often have days like this, but when I do, it’s miserably depressing. I know that the best thing to do would be to just walk away from the computer and do something else, but I can’t. Instead I torture myself by counting how many days I have left until the book is due, how many pages I have to write a week, a day, an hour to make the deadline…and that’s not counting the days I will set the book aside to work on my next script (which should be getting the go-ahead from the studio any day now). So I have to take advantage of every free hour. Which of course, only makes me more anxious and upset at my lack of creativity. When it’s going this bad, I have to keep at it, trying to hit upon that one sentence or image that will break me out of this writing funk. Because it will happen. I know it will. I’m praying it will. Okay, enough screwing around on the blog, avoiding the unavoidable, it’s time to go back to it…

(I know what you’re thinking, "how could he post this after linking to Garrison Keillor’s essay about writers who whine?" I’ll tell you why. Because I’m a FRAUD.)

11 thoughts on “I’m a Fraud”

  1. Yes, you are definately a fraud. No writer worth his salt would ever have a day like that.
    Take mine, for example, I screwed around ALL day and all I wrote was the freakin’ blog. Now THAT’S a professional (procrastinator) at work.
    Tomorrow will be better.
    Remember, part of the joy of being a writer, is that you can have days like that and it’s not the end of the world 🙂
    Besides, isn’t that’s what a blog is for? To whine/cheer to an audience?

  2. I was depressed all day, feeling like a fraud and a failure. It’s nice knowing that I wasn’t alone.
    As far as the block, just have a guy walk into the room and shoot someone. Isn’t that what Raymond Chandler did? Better yet, have some buxom cheerleaders stroll in. Buxom cheerleaders that are really ninjas. Ninjas that have to fight Walker, Texas Ranger! On the shore of Lake Woebegon!
    Okay, I’m not helping…and I’m procrastinating, as well.

  3. Don’t feel bad, Lee. After starting a new novel and having it take off like a shot, then seeing it fizzle and wither due to my incompetence, I’ve concluded I’m a fraud and a poseur, with no talent, no skill, no craft, no sense, and the only person in the world who could remotely call me a “writer” is the little voice in my head that keeps pulling me into the Dream World where I live…..
    Although, as usual, Chadwick may be on to something…:)

  4. Maybe it’s not so good for you, but that at least makes me feel a whole lot better about myself. If a professional writer as experienced and talented as you can feel like a fraud, maybe the rest of us can relax a little. We’re humans, all.

  5. Am dealing with my own fetid, stinking 400-page piece of fictional crap at the moment and can’t figure out how to end it. Maybe with an Xacto knife to my wrists.
    So how am I coping with this? By killing time reading your blog. You are not alone, my friend.

  6. Hey, Lee – if you’re a fraud, what does that make the rest of us (who could never, ever keep up with your pace)?
    But I like my excuse for being 50 pages behind schedule – how’s tendonitis in one hand and coming off pneumonia? At least I FINALLY have a legit reason for being at a loss for words.

  7. Thanks for all your support, it’s appreciated. It’s nice to know I am not alone. We got the go-ahead from the network yesterday on our script, so I don’t have the luxury of whining any more or turning out crap. I have work to do.

  8. I guess that’s why you have to have a couple irons in the fire, so that one of them will pop up when you need it. My congratulations to you and Bill.
    Meanwhile, I’m head-down in revisions for my book, with a May 20th deadline lookin’ me in eye.

  9. Stats and Stuff

    I rarely check my Websites stats. Lately, I just havent had time, but even before I got so busy that blogging had to take a back seat, I didnt pay a lot of attention. I knew who was visiting by the comments left here and the con…


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