Lori’s Mission from God

Lori1 Lori Prokop has offered humanity so many things. She’s shown people how to get cheap car leases,  to achieve "bestseller celebrity status," to live in the upper energy levels of life with her "Life Guidance System," to awaken their "million dollar intuition," to "Podcast for fun and profit," to "awaken your child’s genius," and she’s even helped chiropractors to become authors (and what greater calling is there than that?).

It’s hard to top those amazing achievements (are you listening, Nobel Prize Committee?)…but Lori Prokop has.

Now, with The Keyboard Culture Blog Community, she is on a mission from God to improve your search engine rankings.

In 1996, Lori and her husband sold their business. After it sold, Lori woke up with no “purpose.” She asked for a repetitive dream to reveal her purpose. In between the sleep and wake states, Lori began hearing and seeing “You are the publicist for Love and Light and Forgiveness and Gratitude.” Even though, at the time, the dream did not make much sense to Lori, she remembered it. In 2003, Lori Prokop received intuitive messages guiding her to learn and master search engine optimization, programming, Google algorithms, pay-per-click web site promotion and sophisticated web site linking strategies.

Apparently, despite her intuitive and total mastery of search engine optimization, she hasn’t been able to get rid of all the posts about her hucksterism from a simple Google search of her name.

It will only cost you $500-a-month to join her Keyboard Culture community, have her host your blog, and benefit from the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to glean spiritual enlightenment from her profound guidance and wisdom in one-on-one counseling sessions.

Who knows, she might even throw in a cheap car lease, too.

But the real news here is the story behind the demise of Book Millionaire. Now the truth can finally be revealed. Lori Prokop was the victim of a vast conspiracy.

Lori Prokop launched a reality show that rocked the publishing world with excitement. She didn’t realize it at the time, but she was first to market with a powerhouse of an idea and some of her competitors were furious she had the jump. Instead of approaching Lori to see how they could be included, they launched a paid online hate campaign to tank her and the project — if they couldn’t have it, they didn’t want anyone to. Lori discovered this was not the first time this group hired and paid online attackers to use false claims and hate attacks to take out competitors.

I had no idea I was a paid agent of the New York Publishing Cabal. That certainly explains why I’ve written so much about Lori Prokop and my tirades against the vanity press industry, doesn’t it?

I have been outed.

The only question I have is…when do I get the money for all of my hard work?

3 thoughts on “Lori’s Mission from God”

  1. The common denominator in all these schemes is that a clear thinking person should be able to shovel all the crap aside and see the scam for what it is. As you say, she prays on the desperate, people looking for the quick road to “fame.” That said, I want my cut of the money also. If you find it, keep us informed. Hah!

  2. I’m particularly drawn to this fascinating bit on blogs:
    “In the World of Blogging You have 3 Choices…
    1) Do nothing and be left behind.
    2) Do it on your own requiring months or even years of hard work, a huge learning curve, lots of mistake and thousands of dollars in programming, technical expertise and promotion.
    3) Apply to become a Keyboard Culture Expert. As a Keyboard Culture Expert you contribute a portion of publicity…only $16 a day…$497 per month. We do ALL the work for you. We have proven results. You could see results in your first month.”
    Let’s see:
    Lori Prokop: $497 a month to host your blog and take care of all that cumbersome technical stuff.
    Typepad: $8.95 a month to host your blog and take care of all that cumbersome technical stuff.
    Hmmm…I’m going Prokop because they’ll let me be an expert, too.

  3. As of right now (5:30 PM on Saturday afternoon), if you click on the link (under “Keyboard Culture Experts”) that says “Lori Prokop” at http://www.keyboard-culture.com , you get the following error message:
    The document name you requested (/2007/05/about_lori_prokop.html) could not be found on this server […] Please consider informing the owner of the referring page about the broken link.
    Wow, I’m SO glad I have the opportunity to pay her $500/month to do all that bothersome technical stuff for me.


Leave a Comment