Get Smart Isn’t

by

I loved the TV series GET SMART and I still do. You could pick any episode from the first three seasons of GET SMART and it would be ten times funnier than Steve Carrell’s new movie version. The GET SMART movie is a listless, laughless remake that makes THE NUDE BOMB, the last GET SMART feature film, look like brilliant comedy. But while I was sitting there, fighting sleep and debating whether to walk out or not, it occurred to me that GET SMART has a lot of the same problems as Steve Martin’s THE PINK PANTHER remake. In both cases, someone made the inept decision to make the bumbling heroes smart and capable…and very good at what they do. Maxwell Smart and Inspector Clouseau were lovable, clueless, idiots who thought they were brilliant at what they did…and were far, far from it. That was what made them so funny. So why change the key aspect of their characters? The two Steves are extraordinarily funny guys — but have their egos become so big they are hesitant about playing morons? That wasn’t a problem for either one of them in the past (see THE JERK or ANCHORMAN).  If they didn’t want to play Maxwell Smart and Inspector Clouseau as we know and love them…then why bother playing the parts at all? They even screwed up the “Would you believe” and “missed it by that much” jokes.

The only thing I liked about the GET SMART movie was the very, very, very in-joke of seeing Carrell use all three of the cars that Maxwell Smart drove in the series opening title sequence (cameos by Bernie Kopell and Leonard Stern seemed awkwardly shoe-horned into the movie). But that one moment was hardly worth the agony of watching the rest of the movie.

The Drama Behind Drama

by

Today was the first day of a three-day “International Drama Summit”
conference that MediaXChange, in cooperation with CBS, NATPE and Fox, put
together here in L.A.  A sobering fact came out of a panel discussion today with Jeff
Wachtel, head of USA Network, and David Stapf, head of programming for
CBS and Paramount. They were asked point-blank by David Zucker (who
heads Ridley Scott’s TV production company) if they would ever buy a contemporary TV
series set in Europe or South America, written and produced by
Americans and starring American actors…and they both answered with a flat-out NO.

The only exceptions Stapf and Wachtel said they would consider would be
shows set in the past (ala ROME, THE TUDORS or ROBINSON CRUSOE) or that
are science fiction (which are likely to be set on other planets,
regardless of what country they are shot in).  They believe that
America audiences simply won’t accept a contemporary series set in
Europe, no matter how big the stars are. They said there hasn’t been a
successful network show set in Europe since the days of THE AVENGERS,
THE SAINT and I SPY thirty five years ago…and they were unwilling to be the ones to try to break that record.

(So, if their views reflect those of other American network chiefs, I was doomed on FAST TRACK as a series before I ever started…though the movie has quite done well internationally as a “one off” and made money)

That said, Stapf and Wachtel said they are very open to buying formats from overseas
and setting them in America…as the networks have done in a big way this season LIFE ON MARS, 11th HOUR, MYTHOLOGICAL EX, THE
TREATMENT, and NY-LON, to name a few. The key is adapting the format to what they called our “uniquely American sensibility.” A BBC exec on the panel said the biggest difference was story-telling…he said British programs tend to meander more, “though there is some pleasure to be had in meandering.”

They also talked about how immensely successful U.S. shows are in
Europe and that American studios actively consider the international sales
potential of whatever they are developing for the domestic networks.

There was also a fascinating panel of executives and content providers discussing the potential for drama on the web. Christopher Sandberg, of the Companyp in Sweden, said the key difference between TV and the web comes is how they view the relationship between content and the audiences. In the broadcast model, the important thing is getting the viewer to click his remote to your program and to stay there to watch it. In the web model, it’s not getting the audience to the content that counts, it’s what the audience does when they get there that matters…and that is what is saleable to advertisers. Passive viewing isn’t enough in the new media world. What the web provider is selling advertisers is the audience involvement, and how people are experiencing, interactin with, & utilizing the content…not simply the audience’s eyeballs.

Fascinating stuff.

Leaving Kentucky

by

P6220064
This was the final day of the International Mystery Writer's Festival. CSI Creator Anthony Zuiker and I did a panel together that became a wide-ranging discussion about TV, the state of the industry, and the balance between story & high concept in a series (that's Bob Levinson, striking his usual pose, with Zuiker and me). It was a lot of fun and I think I found it as informative as the enthusiastic audience did. I caught the last stage performance of MAPES FOR HIRE (which the local newspaper reported today may be heading to Monterey as early as August) and was a presenter at the Second Annual Angie Awards, where special honors/statuettes were given to Zuiker and Mary Higgins Clark for their contributions to the mystery genre. At the riverfront "after party," I chatted for quite Watson
some time with Owensboro Mayor Tom Watson who, in addition to being extremely affable and engaging, is the widest man I've ever met. Not fat, W I D E. I mean he's just huge…and strong. He casually slapped me on the back with a hearty laugh, dislocating my shoulder and paralyzing me from the neck down for ten minutes. You don't want to arm-wrestle with this man.
All in all, I had a fantastic time…as both a participant and a play-goer, and look forward to attending the Festival again some day. A woman who came to one of my booksigning even invited me and my family to stay at her home, that's how friendly and hospitable people in Kentucky are. I lost count of how many women, young and old, called me "honey," "sweetie," "sugar," and  "sweetheart" this week. I'm afraid if my wife comes with me next time, she's going to think I slept with every woman in town.

The Jewish Colonels

by

P6200057
J. Allen Eskridge III, Kentucky's assistant Secretary of State, made my day at a packed ceremony at RiverPark Performing Arts Center. On behalf of the Governor and the Secretary of State, Eskridge presented Gene Hackman with a scroll commissioning him as a Kentucky Colonel, the state's highest honor, and told the Academy Award winning actor that he would be joining a distinguished list "that includes Winston Churchill,  Muhammad Ali, and Lee Goldberg." I'm sure Gene was very flattered to be in my company.
My friend Bob Levinson also became a Colonel today, and an honorary judge, and got the key to the city. Stuart Kaminsky got all that stuff, too. The Jews are invading Owensboro. Expect a Kosher deli to open on Main Street any day now.

I'm guessing about 500 people lined up to have Gene Hackman sign their books. It must have been a shock to Mary Higgins Clark. For perhaps the first time in decades, her signing line was shorter than another attending author's. If her ego was bruised, she didn't show it. She was elegant, charming and gracious, as usual. I won't tell you how long my line was. Let's just say I was a distant third. Or maybe fourth.

I'm sneaking  out for some more BBQ now before CSI creator Anthony Zuiker screens some clips from his show and answers questions  on the big, out-door stage. I'll try not the stain my shirt.

(A big thank you to Bryan Leazenby of Onsite Images for taking the photo)

Mr. Monk and the Blog Reviews

by

MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY is author/publisher/editor/reviewer/man-of-the-world Ed Gorman's favorite Monk book so far. He says, in part:

For me the only thing more fun than watching Monk is reading the
adventures Lee Goldberg creates for him.

[…]As usual Mr. Goldberg not only keeps the story rolling, he also
gives us a plenty of smiles and out-loud laughs along the way. This
time he gives a sense of a foreign milieu as well, some very sly travel
commentary from time to time. The Monk books take a series that
is one of the best on TV and makes it even better. No small
accomplishment. I can't wait for the next one

But if that wasn't flattering enough, Ed goes on to talk about my novel THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE.

Whenever I review one of Lee's books I feel guilty if I don't mention his masterpiece, The Man With The Iron-On Badge. This
is a novel that pays tribute to the classic private eyes by introducing
a funny, cranky, sly and very bright guy named Harvey Mapes who between
honoring his twin obsessions junk food and crime fiction on page and tv
screen manages to become more than just a security guard–he becomes a
private eye, kind of.

[…]The mystery here is cleverly drawn and not without grit and real
suspense. The other aspect is the tour of LA that Lee/Harvey takes us
on. Too much of LA fiction plays the usual songs. But the cunning
detail in Iron-On Badge makes everything from gated communities to
eating at Denny's seem brand new. This is because we're seeing it
through the eyes of a burned-out working class guy who takes us inside
his dotty but endearing fantasy life.

This is one of those novels that will be around for a long, long time. It's that good.

I hope he's right, though the book is hard-to-find. I still haven't managed to get a deal for a mass market paperback edition…but I'm working on it.

Thanks so much, Ed!

Colonel Goldberg

by

KentuckyColonel_emblem
I did a little research into what it means to be named a Kentucky Colonel (as I was a few nights ago here in Owensboro). It's the highest honor awarded by the Commonwealth of Kentucky and is given by the Governor and Secretary of State to "those who make exceptional efforts to enrich
the lives of Kentuckians and the world at large."

I'm joining a distinguished (and eclectic) list that includes Pope John Paul II, Bob Barker, Bill Clinton, Billy Ray Cyrus, Bing Crosby, Barry Manilow, Ronald Reagan, Peter Graves, Norman Schwarzkopf, Winston Churchill, Wynonna Judd, Tiger Woods, and, of course, Harlan Sanders. To say I am flattered…and stunned…is an understatement.

Yesterday, Colonel Goldberg went to Nashville and did all the tourist stuff. And ate at Jack's BBQ…twice. It was the best BBQ of the trip so far. Today Gene Hackman and CSI creator/showrunner Anthony Zuiker join the Festival here in Owensboro. The Colonel is looking forward to meeting them both.
 

The Play is the Thing

by

I typed a big, long post and then hit save…and my browser crashed. I HATE it when that happens. So I will try to reconstruct the post as best I can.

I began the day by doing a phone interview with a local morning radio show from the comfort of my bed, still half-asleep. I told the DJ that all the women in the offices at the RiverPark Performing Arts Center listen to him while they shower…and that I was doing his show so I could say women listen to me while lathering up, too. I think  he liked that…but I don't think the women at the front office did.

20080619-230549-pic-681924051
I had a pleasant surprise at breakfast. I sat down at my power table at Denny's, opened up the Owensboro Messenger Inquirer, and saw that tonight's free, out-door screening of FAST TRACK and an interview with me was front page news. Either I am very hot stuff or there isn't much going on in town. I'll let you decide.

I stopped by the International Bluegrass Museum. I don't know much about that kind of music, so it was very interesting for me. After that, I spent the rest of the day being a geeky mystery fan, attending one mystery play after another. It was great. I talked to so many nice people…but I must share with you the story of one lady who meant well, but…

I was sitting with Bob Levinson and his wife at one play and, during  the intermission, a woman came up to me and asked:

"Do you have something to do with this Festival?"

"Yes, I wrote one of the plays," I said. "And I am doing a few seminars about TV writing."

"Oh, you're that man who writes for Monk."

'Yes, that's me."

"I don't like the Monk show very much, and I haven't read your books and probably never will, but I think Tony Shalhoub is a good actor and you must be very talented. I wanted to tell you that."

I thanked her, shook her hand, and off she went. I know she didn't mean any offense.

Here's another example of how nice people in Owensboro are. During the performance of an Agatha Christie play, an old lady in the fifth row kept talking very loudly to the characters on stage…things like "You aren't fooling  me, honey," "he's the killer," and "I don't like him." Nobody told her to hush, they just smiled and let it go. In California, she would have been dragged out onto the street and beaten to death. Kentuckians must be very polite people.

Tonight, I saw fireflies for the first time in my life. I was very startled. At first I thought they were big embers and the building was on fire. Once I realized they weren't embers, I chased them around and stared at them in amazement. People seemed to find this behavior very amusing. Some even took pictures ("Look, Eunice, I got me a picture of a lunatic from California." No one actually said that, but I'm sure that's what they were thinking).

The screening of FAST TRACK went well, despite some technical glitches and me running back and forth in front of the screen, chasing fireflies around.

I am looking forward to spending the day tomorrow in Nashville before returning to the Festival on Saturday.