Googled
Things are always a little slow here over the holidays, so this post is for all those accidental visitors who come here searching for a peek at Lindsay Lohan’s nipples or nude pictures of Angelina Jolie, Brittany Spears, Rush Limbaugh, Jennifer Aniston, George Bush, Scarlett Johanssen or Paris Hilton… or for fanfic sex between Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon, Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton, William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, Brad Pitt and George Clooney, Justin Timberlake and Orlando Bloom, Monk and Sharona, James Spader and William Shatner, or Spongebob Squarepants and Jimmy Neutron… or in a desperate longing for information about Tarzan+Gay Slash+Fanfic, Teens with big breasts, Dykes, bootleg videos, TV Main Titles, TV Theme Music, Diagnosis Murder+Fanfic+Jesse+Steve, uncontrollably+horny, sexy+porn, Travis McGee+wisdom, Cindy Garvey, Blog Suicide, Danny Estrada, Caroline Laurence+Nude, What Makes a Good Novelist?,L Word slashfic,Pernell Roberts+unprofessional, infomercial scams, horny+13-year-olds,make my man a mommy,grandfather eulogy,dicks and dykes,surgeons with god-like complex,angry self-published authors,sexy porn, methods of jerking off,women who watch Queer as Folk, Tom Selleck, Nippledrop Pearls,mpreg+Star Wars, and my personal favorite search-of-the-day: Lee Goldberg Nipples.
They’re Watching
You never know who is reading your blog. I was stunned when my post about Dean Koontz’s racist rant at Men of Mystery showed up as a story in the Los Angeles Times. And I’m sure my friend Ken Levine felt the same way when the Los Angeles Times yesterday used some of his blog posts as the basis for a story on comedy writers who hate STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP.
Take Ken Levine, a seasoned writer who has worked on "Frasier,"
"Cheers" and "The Simpsons." His blog, By Ken Levine, has become the
hub of an online community of viewers who loathe "Studio 60," thanks to
his running commentary on the first several episodes."After watching Episode 2 of ‘Studio 60’ I must let you in on a little
secret. People in television, trust me, are not that smart," he wrote.
"And they keep talking about how unbelievably talented that Harriet
[Sarah Paulson] is. Have you seen evidence of it yet? I haven’t. But
then again, I’m not that smart."One week later he was less forgiving, writing, " ‘Studio 60’ is like
the Rand Corporation Think Tank doing a late night sketch show."
It’s easy to forget that blogging is publishing, and that what you post can have a life beyond the blog. It’s made me slightly more cautious about what I say here…but not much.
Night in the Museum aka Boredom in the Movie Theatre
Because I have an 11-year-old in the house, and I’m a big fan of Dick Van Dyke, I went to see NIGHT IN THE MUSEUM…which proves the point that even the best special effects wizardry is no substitute for compelling stories and interesting characters. This is a tedious mess that apparently bored Owen Wilson, Robin Williams, and Ricky Gervais as much while they were making as it did all of us who had to watch it (The only actor who has the slightest bit of energy is Dick Van Dyke). Not even a fast-forward button could make this movie pass by quickly enough.
The Spot for Crime
Crime novel bloggers across the net are joining together today to give a big thank you to Graham Powell for creating the Crimespot blogreader…which collects the latest postings from a wide assortment of mystery blogs. It’s my first blog stop of the day…and it should be yours, too.
Lee Said Read
My Uncle Burl Barer has just landed a contract with Kensington for two more of his true crime books, the first of which has the great title MOM SAID KILL:
[It] will detail the shocking story of
Barbara and Heather Opel, mother and daughter, who murdered Barbara’s
generous employer in front of his elderly mother, made off with his
furniture and $40K from his bank account. Heather was about fourteen
years old at the time, and Mom promised her a new dirt bike for helping
in the murder. The kid never got the dirt bike.
Kiss Up Television
According to a column today in the New York Times, all the CBS dramas share an unusual similarity:
They showcase an omniscient, workaholic and male boss on the dark
side of 50 who is surrounded by young, eager-to-please acolytes.The template is so unvarying that Bill Carter of The New York Times and
other television writers subscribe to a man-in-the-Moonves theory of
programming: Leslie Moonves,
the 57-year-old chief executive of CBS, has an Ozymandian hold on his
network that ensures that its top shows pay subliminal homage to his
leadership.
(Thanks to Paul Levine for the heads-up)
Will Agents Consider Tie-Ins?
This question was buried as a comment on an old post:
How receptive are literary agents to getting media tie-in novel
queries? Is there a reason they aren’t listed in the genres that the
agent will accept, or are tie-ins considered just part of the ‘fiction’
genre?
To answer this question, you have to understand what a tie-in is: it’s a piece of fiction using characters licensed from a rights-holder like a movie studio, a literary estate, a gaming company, etc.
Usually the way a tie-in novel comes about is that the rights-holder will approach publishers with a property or publishers will approach the rights-holder. Several publishers, for instance, sought the rights to do "Monk" novels and Penguin/Putnam eventually won out. Only after the rights are licensed to a publisher do editors seek out authors to write the books. That’s when an agent might enter the mix.
So it wouldn’t make any sense for you to query a literary agent with an idea for a tie-in novel…or the manuscript itself… unless you are the person who holds the rights to those characters. Otherwise, what you’re asking an agent to do is sell your fanfic…and no agent will do that. That’s why tie-ins are not among the genres that agents are willing to consider for submissions.
If what you’d like to do is write for an existing line of tie-in novels (like, say, the STAR TREK series), querying an agent isn’t the way to go. Agents simply aren’t looking for new clients to take to the editors of tie-ins…for one thing, there isn’t enough commission money in it to make it worthwhile. If an agent is going to suggest someone for tie-in assignment, it will be one of their current clients.
So, in general, you need to already be on a editor’s radar to get an assignment for a tie-in… it’s the editors you need to reach, not agents.