Scam vs. Self-Publishing

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Discussions about self-publishing and vanity presses seem to be in the air today. I received this question in my email…

I’m a guy with a day job working on a business book related to my profession. 
As a business person I am comfortable with self promotion and like the cost
structure of self publishing.  I was curious about the distinction you made in a
recent post about the difference between a vanity press and a self publisher. 
What is the difference in your view?

Vanity presses and self-publishers are the same thing… companies you pay to publish your book.   There’s nothing wrong with vanity presses… as long as they aren’t trying to fool  you into thinking they are a traditional publishers.

IUniverse, for example, is a reputable vanity press that turns out a nice looking product at a reasonable price. They don’t pretend to be anything but what they are… a company that offers authors a way to self-publish their books.

I’ve had several of my out-of-print titles republished in trade paperback  editions (at no cost to me through a special Authors Guild program) and have been very happy with the results.  The books look great and I get nice little royalty checks on a regular basis… and I can double-check my sales at any time by logging into their website.

But before you get involved with a vanity press, you should have realistic expectations about the kinds of sales, distribution, promotion, and critical notice you are likely to get.

Figure close to zero.

The burden of selling the book, promoting the book, and getting any critical notice at all will be entirely up to you.  Stores are reluctant to carry self-published titles because they rarely get a discount and can’t return unsold copies.  Critics will rarely review a self-published title. Reporters are loathe to interview a self-published author unless there is an incredibly compelling angle to the story (It helps if you’re a TV star (Buddy Ebsen), a controversial politician (Richard Lugar),  a famous songwriter (Lee Hazelwood), or a key player in a sex scandal (Amy Fisher).

I can see how going to a vanity press would make sense for a non-fiction book if, for example, you want to market it yourself at speaking engagements and seminars… or use as a promotional item for your company and its services.  There is a place for self-publishing…it’s a useful service.  But it’s not a replacement for authors looking for all the things that come from having a book bought by Simon & Schuster, Penquin/Putnam, or any other "traditional" publishing house.

A New Self-Publishing Scam

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A friend of mine, responding to my earlier post on vanity presses, says there’s a new con some companies are using to confuse aspiring authors into thinking they’re "reputable publishers" instead of self-publishing scams.

Many vanity publishers claim to charge no publisher’s fee to accept
the book.  Instead what they do is require the author to pay an editor, from a list the publisher supplies, to get
the manuscript into shape.  In reality, the editor is an employee of
the publisher and kicks back all the author’s money to the boss. 

It’s just another way of taking advantage of an author’s desperation to be published. Remember — publishers pay you, not the other way around. Beware of any publisher who asks you for a check.

Big Sunday

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Sunday has become a big TV night in the Goldberg household…one terrific series after another to enjoy. There ware two episodes of NIP/TUCK back-to-back on FX, a new season of DEADWOOD on HBO, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES and BOSTON LEGAL on ABC. I can remember the last time we looked forward to a night of TV as opposed to a particular show… it kind of harkens back to the old days, when Saturday was comedy night on CBS… or the heyday of "Must See TV" on NBC. The difference, of course, is that we aren’t just watching one network… we’re channel-surfing between subscription network, basic cable network, and broadcast television, which is probably not what advertisers want to hear.

Dive! Dive!

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This has been a big weekend for reader mail. I wasn’t going to post this…but then the sender posted a comment here.

Hello Mr Goldberg. I’m a fan of yours in a way. I’m actually a fan of
SeaQuest DSV/2032. the show it self maybe cancelled and maybe 10 years old. but to me I’d rather have watched seaQuest over star trek anyday. Now this is just my opinion, but me and many fans firmly beleive the show still has life, and that it still has a future, the shows quote said it the best "For
Beneath The Surface Lies The Future" well today isnt that reality? minus the aliens and pissed off gods and 100 foot crocodiles, seaQuest was actually a good show. oh by the way sorry I shoulda said this sooner, my name is  Tristen Tokarchuk. I’m the co-writer of one of the Fan fiction series based
on seaQuest 2032. Except we moved up 8 years to the year 2040, with two new Vessels, the close to 700      Meter UEO Atlantis ASV 8100, and the 500 Meter UEO SeaQuest ASV 4600III. If possible would you like to view Atlantis? If you would heres the link: http://www.geocites.com/atlantisasv. I’m also  the head writer of a realitively new fan fic series called "Enterprise DSV" based in the year 2066. i will send you some pics attached to this message
of the Atlantis and SeaQuest. I do have one quesrion though, would it be possible to get a detailed schematic of the SeaQuest DSV 4600I&II.

Here’s what I wrote to Tristen:

You obviously have a lot of energy and talent…and have devoted it to various re-imaginings of SeaQuest and Star Trek. Now it’s time for you to move on to something original, a universe that is entirely your own.  If you really want to be a writer, you should move past fan fiction and try creating your own characters, your own worlds. You will be surprised just how exciting it can be…and a bit scary, too, but that’s part of the fun of writing.

But perhaps you don’t want to be a writer. Perhaps your true calling is art and design (you certainly have the talent!).  Instead of creating new logos and ships for SeaQuest… how about creating entirely new, original vessels that have nothing to do with the look, feel, and style of the show? Create someting that exists entirely in your own imagination. I know you can do it, because the drawings you sent me certainly prove you have a lot of creativity.  Why not give it a try?

Not Enough Hurtin’

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A DM fan clued me in to this amusing post about my book "The Waking Nightmare"  from the Diagnosis Murder message board on PAX, which I no longer frequent.  I think after reading this you’ll understand why.

I’ve come across others who feel that
the reason Lee Goldberg portrays Steve so horribly is a personal attack
on Barry Van Dyke.

A
friend of mine bought the Waking Nightmare. I don’t know if she plans
on buying another one. Lee Goldberg has Mark performing a feat that
would be impossible at Mark Sloan’s age. Steve could have probably done
it with his training.

What also gets me mad is that Lee Goldberg
has no problem having Mark get hurt numerous times, Jack and Jesse
once, but when I asked him to hurt Steve. He said that was stupid!

I
heard Steve gets slightly hurt in this one. But the damage is done.
More and more I’m finding people who are fed up with the way Steve is
treated in Lee Goldberg’s DM books.
From,
Betty
Barrionette
Steve Hurt/Comfort Fan
Steve Angst Fan
Steve and Mark Relationship Fan
Steve and Ellen Fan

In deference to Betty, I’m going to hurt Steve in the next book. Any suggestions, folks,  on how he should be injured or maimed? 
   
   
   
   
 
 

Bibles II

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I got a response from the guy I talked about in the previous post.

Excellent Mr. Lee! Excellent!
 
That was the reponse I was looking for the first time. Thank you for your
passionate and highly intelligent response.
 
I definitely want to talk to you again when the time comes—I hate
dispassionate writers and you are not one of them! Kudos! You earned a shot when
the time comes.
 
Take Care! -ZB

Can someone translate this for me? It appears to be in English, but I can’t understand what the hell he’s talking about. And why does he keep calling me Mr. Lee??

Bibles

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I had this email exchange yesterday.  First, I received this note (all I’ve done is replace the names with XYZ):

How are you Mr. Lee?

WGA writer XYZ and myself are looking for a great series bible to use as a study example. He will teach with it, I will use it as a template for my own work. I am a writer turned producer and preparing a bible for a new series and our exhaustive searches via books and Net have still proven fruitless. We need to get our hands on a comprehensive bible, preferranbly one that was used  successfully to obtain network approval/and or private funding, if at all  possible. As writer with many series credits, I thought perhaps you might care to assist, if it’s within your means? Also, if you’re interested, down the line (if we get greenlighted) we will need some good writers like yourself to pitch in—I’ll let you know when we get that far.

I love it when inexperienced writers ask me a basic question about how TV works…and then as an incentive, they offer me the tantalizing possibility that if things work out for them, they might give me a job. Wow.

I replied that I had the bibles, aka "Writers Guidelines," for DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MARTIAL LAW in my book SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION WRITING and that they were also available to download for free on my website.  This is how he replied, under the subject heading "Series Bibles**** Wrong Type"

FYI–The bibles on your Web site are "writer’s guidelines" and are not entire bibles that  can be used for network submissions of a new series, etc. by a producer (which is what we need).

Here’s how I responded:

Thanks for clearing up my confusion… I guess I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

As someone who has been a professional TV writer for fifteen years, written many network pilots, and produced dozens of TV series, let me tell you what you need.
What you need is an idea… and then you pitch that idea to a network, which will then hire you to write a pilot script. If they decide to shoot your pilot, and if your pilot is picked up as a series, the network may ask you for a  bible, also known as "writers guidelines," examples of which are in my book. In
the case of a soap opera, they may ask you for a more detailed  document explaining the
relationships between the characters and the general direction of the storylines they are involved in. A bible is not what you use to sell a series. In fact, I  have been on MANY series, and I know of many series, that have never had a bible. The most important thing is the idea… the most important document is the pilot script.

Let me go back and comment on a few things in your first email that I let slip by… you mentioned that your "WGA writer" partner is going to use whatever TV series bible you find as a teaching tool. If you don’t know what a bible looks like, or how to write one, how can you possibly teach the craft of writing one to others?

You also mention that you’re a writer-turned producer and that you  need a bible to "successfully to obtain network approval/and or private funding, if at all
possible,"  which suggests to me that you are unfamiliar with the business behind American network television. Most networks  now are producing their own series…or in co-production with major studios… you don’t have to get "private funding." A TV series isn’t a independant feature film, which appears to be the model you are working from.

I suggest that before you start thinking about "bibles" you do some more research into how the TV business works.

Adult Material

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I received this email today from a DIAGNOSIS MURDER Fan.

I’ve heard some rumors of you (in you Diagnosis Murder Books )making Steve to be less than Mark , is any of this true? I also heard a rumor of ADULT MATERIAL in your third book , is that true ?

For those of you unfamiliar with DIAGNOSIS MURDER,  Steve is a homicide detective and the  son of deductive genius Dr. Mark Sloan. Conveniently, Steve is portrayed by Barry Van Dyke, who is the real life son of TV legend Dick Van Dyke, who played Dr. Mark Sloan. In the pilot episode, Mark Sloan was a widower with no children, but when DIAGNOSIS MURDER went to series, that changed (it changed again when, later in the series’ run, Dick Van Dyke’s daughter wanted to do a guest appearance as Mark Sloan’s daughter, so suddenly he had another child that was never heard of, mentioned, or seen before. You gotta love TV).

Dick Van Dyke’s photo is on the cover of the DIAGNOSIS MURDER books.
There are some fans who believe Barry’s photo should be on there, too. There are some fans who believe the books focus too heavily on Dr. Mark Sloan to the detriment of Steve Sloan. My feeling in the books, as it was when we produced the series, is that Dr. Mark Sloan is the star and everyone else is a supporting character.  Dr. Mark Sloan is the brilliant detective who solves the crimes… that was true in the series and now in the books.  If that makes Steve "less than Mark," I suppose the answer to the fan’s first question is yes…as it was in the TV show, too.

As for adult material, the books are no racier than the TV
series was. There’s no sex, profanity, or graphic violence. However, like the TV series, there is implied sex and implied violence…but the details are left to the reader’s imagination.   

Two Great Reads

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While I was in El Paso, I read two books… Richard Vaughan’s  HAWKE and Dominic Stansberry’s THE CONFESSION. I like them both…they were throwbacks, in a good way, to books of another era.

HAWKE is a formula western with a decidedly unformulatic hero… a world-class concert pianist and a veteran Confederate soldier who now roams aimlessly, a haunted lost soul, scraping together money here and there playing piano in saloons.  He’s quick with a gun and often finds himself in middle of trouble.  It was the perfect airplane read… I didn’t even notice the terrible turbulence that kept the waitresses buckled into their seats and the passengers parched from lack of beverage service. Vaughan has won the Spur Award before… I can see him snagging another one for this fine example of the modern western.

THE CONFESSION is a dark, tawdry, noir tale that harkens back… intentionally so… to the great Gold Medal paperbacks of the 50s and 60s. Stansberry perfectly captures the forboding, the sensuality, the violence, and the wickedness of the best of those tales… and yet, it feels contemporary and hip at the same time. The story is told from the first-person point-of-view of Jake Danser, a forensic psychologist who might be a sexual predator and a serial killer… or not. Even he’s not entirely sure. Stansberry’s prose is confident and slick, his eye for detail sharp and surprising. The book has been nominated for an Edgar and I can see why. It’s a damn good book. I’m eager now to read Stansberry’s new one, CHASING THE DRAGON.

Diagnosis Murder: The Past Tense

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Dm5I just got my first peek at the cover of my fifth "Diagnosis Murder" novel. It’s called THE PAST TENSE and may be my favorite book in the series.  It comes out in August. Here’s what some nice folks are saying about the book…

"What a great book! I enjoyed it tremendously. It’s a clever, twisting
tale that leaves you guessing right up to the heart-stopping ending."
Lisa Gardner, bestselling author of Alone.

"Just what the doctor ordered, a sure cure after a rash  of blah mysteries.  Diagnosis Murder: The Past Tense has more plot twists than a strand of DNA." Elaine Viets, author of
Dying to Call You

"With a devilish plot sense, sophisticated humor, and smooth writing style, Lee Goldberg’s DIAGNOSIS MURDER series never fails to please. He’s as good as anyone writing in the genre today." Donald Bain, co-author of the Murder She Wrote novels

"Diagnosis Murder: The Past Tense.  Seldom has a title been more appropriate. Lee Goldberg takes the utterly familiar Dr. Mark Sloan and surprises us with heartbreaking glimpses of the past that allow the  good doctor to step off the television screen and into a flesh-and-blood  reality. Well-plotted and beautifully rendered." — Margaret Maron, Edgar,
Agatha, and Macavity Award-winning author of the Deborah Knott mysteries.

"Lee Goldberg takes you on a streamlined ride
through 40 years of LA history with a busload of suspicious characters. The
Past Tense will quicken the pulses of longtime Diagnosis Murder fans and newcomers alike while Dr.
Mark Sloan’s quest for justice is sure to
warm hearts."
– Denise Hamilton, author of the Eve Diamond crime novels,
including Last Lullaby, an L.A. Times "Best Book of 2004"

"Lee Goldberg’s DIAGNOSIS MURDER books are
fast-paced, tightly constructed mysteries that are even better than the TV show.
You’ll read them in great big gulps!" Gregg Hurwitz, author of The
Program.