This week my brother Tod wrote what may be his funniest Letters to Parade column ever. Here's an excerpt.
…Elizabeth Chambers, hailing from Los Angeles, CA, and presumably reading Parade in the LA Times, as I do, has a question that made me realize that the reason people end up voting for complete fucktards like Sarah Palin is that they don't realize politicians aren't fictional characters. You see, Elizabeth is very curious about that nice young President we have…on THE EVENT:
"Blair Underwood is great as President Elias Martinez on NBC's The Event. Does he have any political experience in real life?"
Jesus fucking Christ on a bed of wild rice, Elizabeth. Do you really think you somehow missed out on the two terms Blair Underwood spent as a United States Senator? Or what about when he was a Congressman? Or those years when he was Attorney General? Personally, I'll never forget what it was like meeting Blair Underwood when he was just a state Senator –this was during his downtime after his seven year stint on LA Law ended and before he landed his next role four minutes later. I knew then that one day he would eventually either be President or at least play the President in something. He just had that gravity, you know? But then when he was on The New Adventures of Old Christine a few years ago, I was like, whoa, he's just a school teacher in this! Well, he was a school teacher on the show, and, of course, was the Dept. Secretary of Defense, too, but, anyway, I just felt like he was selling himself short.
For fuck's sake. I mean it. People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to watch television. It's clearly not good for them and thus it's not good for America and, thus, it's bad for the Jews.
1 thought on “My Brother Tod is Funny”
It never ceases to amaze me how people invest so much belief what they see on television. Years back, I was working at a bookstore and had a woman ask me about that “Highlander” book. Naturally I took her back to the SF section, where they were shelved, and showed her some of the tie-in novels for the series.
No, that wasn’t what she meant. She saw this writer on the show the other day who had written a book about Duncan McLeod, knew all about him.
I just stared at her, then told her that that was an actress, Sandra Bernhard, playing a part.
She apparently didn’t believe me because she came back when I wasn’t working and ordered a book from another clerk called The Highlander.
Some folks just can’t separate reality from fiction.