I got an email today from someone asking for advice on pitching a pilot…and she implied that Paul Guyot recommended that she talk to me. Well, I’m always glad to do my friends a favor. But the thing is, my buddy Paul has never heard of her. Didn’t she think I’d check with him? Some people are morons.
So anyway, I was in Jerry Bruckheimer’s* favorite bookstore in Louisville last weekend. Could I pitch my spec script to you?
*Actually, I WAS in his favorite bookstore. However, I’m reasonably certain Jerry’s in LA right now and has never heard of me, or at least doesn’t know enough about me to remember my name. [For those of you not quite swift enough to get the joke.]
So are you saying I made a mistake when I used your name as a reference, Lee? I really need this loan…
What, reading you guys isn’t the same as knowing you? I thought we were all pals – you know, cutesie nicknames, matching satin jackets, the works.
Jeez, talk about disillusioning …
DEAR MR GOULDBERGH
I HALF WRITTEN A diagnosis murder FANFIC THAT I NO WOULD MAKE A GOOD mow. PLEASE GIVE ME DYKE VAN DICKS HOME ADDRESS SO I CAN SEND IT TO HIM. BILL RABKIN SAID ITS OK.
I’D SEND IT TO YOU BUT ITS COPY WRITTEN AND I DON’T WANT YOU TO STEEL IT.