Norton Hell, Minute by Agonizing Minute

If you would like to experience the living hell that is Norton Technical Support, scroll down to the last entry and read from the bottom up to the top. 

  1. I'm told that "The Senior Technical Experts Department specialized for Norton Product" (that's a direct quote) will call me.this is surreal.


  2. ok, 3 hrs plus is enough. I'm done. Time to find that link for the Norton Removal Tool…that's the more effective resolution.

  3. Mr. Norton Support is running the program again. And it still doesn't work. I bet he will seek an even more effective resolution.

  4. if I stay on w/Norton much longer, Madonna & David Hasselhoff are in jeopardy.

  5. I've been on w/Norton Support for so long that the 70s officially died. RIP Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett.

  6. watching the norton support person reboot me from afar. We have just entered the third hour of support. How long until I can call Guinness?

  7. He can't figure out what's wrong.He doesn't know how to fix it.He will seek an even more effective resolution.How could anyone achieve that?

  8. he looked but didn't touch. we are fast approaching my 3rd unproductive hr w/ Norton support. I just asked him what's up. Guess his reply…

  9. now he's going into control panel. going to programs & features. looking at what I have. I feel naked & exposed.

  10. Uh-oh. The program isn't working. I guess we're going to need "a more effective resolution" than just running it AGAIN.

  11. he's running the program AGAIN. Does he think repetition is the answer? Yeah, that's it. Just keep doing it until it works. MORON!

  12. this isn't online sex. It's married sex.

  13. oh, just heard from him. "I am looking for a more effective resolution." More effective than no resolution at all? Good idea!

  14. I think my Norton Support person is seeking some support himself.I've been on line w/him for over 30 minutes now & have accomplished nothing

  15. nothing is happening. The cursor isn't moving. Oh my. Has he lost hope? I know I have.

  16. He seems lost. He's just moving the cursor around my desktop in lonely desperation. I can relate, Rajneesh.

  17. I wonder if this was what Michael Jackson was doing when he had his heart attack.

  18. what do you know, it's not working. I wonder if Norton Support will recommend that I contact Norton support.

  19. he's running the program again. I guess he wants to see if I really have a problem or am just doing this for kicks.

  20. if so, it may be good for him but it's not good for me.

  21. our computers are now connected remotely. am I experiencing online sex?

  22. he's offering to take control of my computer remotely. maybe he can write my book for me too.

  23. he's offering me the pre-packaged/pre-written content so far. Let's see what happens when he actually has to type something himself.

  24. On with Norton Mumbai again. Either I am a gluton for punishment or I am procrastinating on my book. You decide.

  25. @symantecnews norton360. I just disconnected after ten minutes of radio silence from India…on top of 2 hrs wasted. Terrible "support."

  26. Sreejeeth @ symantec has disappeared. haven't heard from him in almost 10 minutes.I guess it's break time in New Delhi. I'm done. Bye Norton

  27. Somebody should make Bernie Madoff contact Symantec support.

  28. this isn't support. it's punishment.

  29. "I see you are having problems with scanning of registry with Norton program not working correct." AHHHHH!

  30. I'm on w/Sreejeeth @ Symantec now. Whenever he goes off script he's got a 3rd grader's grasp of English. God help me.

  31. now im on with mohammad. he is escalating the case. i am blessed

  32. @symantecnews No. I've just spent over an hour repeating steps I did BEFORE I called support. Now i'm told he can't resolve it. Duh.

  33. Now Shareef is informing me that "I am unable to resolve the issue and will transfer to a supervisor." Am I looking at another hour of HELL?

  34. now Shareef is trying to isolate the issue. Good idea, Shareef. Should have tried that an hour ago.

  35. ran program again. Problem still not fixed. Apparently all these symantec support guys know how to do is download updates. a waste of time

  36. of course I did all that BEFORE i called tech support.

  37. …then we ran live update three times. now we are rebooting.

  38. let's see…first we downloaded the same program 3 times, then we ran the program, got the same error I had an hour ago…

  39. Now he's running live update again…I guess he forgot we did that five minutes ago.

  40. why do i feel like I am giving this moron tech support instead of the other way around??

  41. my dog knows more about computers than shareef. i am moments away from just hanging up & walking away from Norton for good.

  42. entering my 2nd hr w/shareef in customer support. oh, the bliss

  43. "Your desktop is being remotely controlled by Shareef." This is like the Indian version of THE OUTER LIMITS…only much scarier.

  44. chatting w/Shareef & Mohammed @ symantec support. It's like dental surgery w/o anesthesia.

9 thoughts on “Norton Hell, Minute by Agonizing Minute”

  1. Norton, as you discovered the hard way, is notoriously bad software. For a firewall, try Comodo or ZoneAlarm. For a virus scanner, try AVG or Avast! All 4 are free.

  2. Forget software firewalls. If you have a cable or DSL modem, check the manufacturer’s specs. It may have a hardware firewall. If not, get an Apple Express wireless router.
    NOD32 or Kaspersky are the least resource intensive anti-virus programs. Their virus definitions are updated more often than free programs like AVG.
    If I can help, email me.

  3. No, Bryan, not AVG. Its new 8.5 version has a bug that makes it impossible to download my mail several times a day. My ISP tech says for me to use Mozilla Thunderbird instead of Outlook Express. That doesn’t help. The AVG tech guy, in Europe, wants to fix my Internet Explorer, which I don’t use, and is not interested in the fact that I can’t get my mail.

  4. I feel your pain! I am – or was – a systems analyst. I’ve had three jobs outsourced to India. Before being laid off, I had to work with “Mel” and “Joe” and “Tom”. (Uh-huh.) I spent as much time explaining bulk mail to these guys as you did on the phone trying to get your system fixed. The kicker was when I had to explain the concept of health insurance to one group while I worked at an insurance company – and, had to take several folks to the grocery store so they could see what a grocery store was like (when I worked for a large grocery chain). You know all these folks provided wonderful support once our jobs were eliminated.
    Remember when the manufacturing was going away and they said we were going to be an information society? Now all the information jobs are over in India and we’re an…well, an unemployed society!
    I have an effective resolution to all of our technical issues. And it would help reduce the unemployment rate in this country by quite a bit!

  5. And don’t switch to McAfee. Their standard user agreement enables them to renew the license automatically by charging your credit card without additional permission from you. If you wish to cancel their service, be prepared to wait forever. They don’t give up their siphon into your bank account easily.

  6. >”get an Apple Express wireless router.”
    *Any* (wireless) router that does NAT (Network Address Translation) essentially acts as a firewall. It doesn’t have to be an Apple Express. But yes, assuming one also has good backup/restore software–I personally use a Bart PE boot disk with Drive Image–one can comfortably forego the use of a software firewall behind a NAT router.
    >”NOD32 or Kaspersky are the least resource intensive anti-virus programs.”
    But neither is free. Whereas both AVG and Avast are. (And if non-english speaking support personnel are a concern, I would have some reservations about using the Eastern European based NOD32. Although I have had no firsthand experience dealing with them.) On the other hand, the free version of AVG (which is what I use on my home PCs) has no official support at all, just a user forum.
    >”not AVG. Its new 8.5 version has a bug that makes it impossible to download my mail several times a day.”
    Have you tried (re)running the install to (re)configure the email scanner? That’s the first thing I would try. Or, if you want to be really thorough, uninstall AVG, reboot, then do a custom install and configure the email scanner for Outlook Express.
    As an aside, while I understand that switching to another email client doesn’t solve the problem, Outlook Express is now three generations old–Vista switched to Windows Mail, which has since been replaced by Windows Live Mail–so, if you can’t get it working, it may be worthwhile to switch now. Especially since you said you don’t use IE. Or, you could forego scanning emails altogether since most attacks are contained in attachments.
    HTH – Mark

  7. Get a Mac. I haven’t yet but I damn sure intend to. Nothing works for long in Vista. Outlook Express is really bad. Windows Live mail works, but MSN mail doesn’t any longer. McAfee hasn’t given me any problems and it comes with my Verizon dsl service.

  8. I took Norton off the laptop last week and installed AVAST! The computer now boots up in half the time and runs faster. I get virus updates at least every other day. I’m sold. I mean, really, what’s the use of an anti-virus program that acts like a virus?

  9. Yes, Norton Removal tool works quite nicely. Did that almost 5yrs. ago. My life on my PC has been quite manageable ever since. That is one company I hope goes belly up very soon.


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