It’s been a while since I’ve had a scam-of-the-month, so maybe I should call this Scam of the Quarter?
Anyway, a whole bunch of folks have emailed me today about the insipid "Book Millionaire" scam. Seems there’s this get-rich-quick marketeer named Lori Prokop who is the host, executive producer, and co-creator (with her sister) of a new reality show called "Book Millionaire" ( she’s "extremely excited to be executive producer and co-creator" of the show. And let me just say that I’m extremely excited to be writing this post on this blog).
Lori is, of course, the author of Awaken Your Million-Dollar Intuition, Enlightened Intelligence ,I Could Have Quit $10 million Ago, and Jesus Teenager: How To Be The Coolest Kid Around and other books you’ve never heard of. But who else could possibilty more qualified to host this show? Oh yes, the show. I was so swept up in awe with Lori and her amazing accomplishments, I almost forgot all about it. Here’s the pitch (Italicized comments are mine):
Eight people with dreams of seeing their book ideas become published and
being the next author launched to best selling and celebrity status will meet
Book Millionaire’s Publishing Committee during July 2005 to start filming
of Book Millionaire Reality TV Show.
Here’s your chance to
finally become America’s next Best Selling Author and Reality Show TV
Celebrity! We are scouting for the next group of candidates [The next group? There hasn’t been a first group yet] for America’s
hottest new reality show [How can it be America’s hottest reality show if it hasn’t even aired yet?]. Act now. We launch people to best selling and celebrity status. [They do? Who??] Picture
yourself featured on national television where millions of potential viewers
listen to you about your story, writings, book or book-to-be and you have the
chance to prove you have what it takes to be America’s next published Best
Selling Author and Book Millionaire.
In the first season, the Candidate Authors will be split into
multiple teams. They will compete in real-world book promotion assignments.
Prominent companies and currently published books [Lori’s books, of course!] will also be part of the
tasks . Viewers will watch the drama unfold as the tests reveal Candidate Authors
personalities, marketing skills, creativity, result-producing talents and
abilities for working on a team with others they may or may not get along with.
Viewers will feel the excitement of intense tasks and growing
stakes as the doors to publishing success open. The Candidates’ goal is to be
The One [Not to be confused with The Jesus Teenager] who is headed to press . Each week one Candidate Author
will hear the dreaded words, “The doors to publishing have closed.”[What refreshing originality, Lori] With the
show climaxing in the final episode when one Candidate Author will hear, “You’re
Published!” [By Best Seller Publishing, no doubt, but more on that later]
The winner of Book Millionaire will be granted the ultimate
dream — to enjoy the lifestyle of being a successfully published author. And
they will receive additional prizes to help achieve the goal of Best Selling and
Celebrity Status [You won’t actually be a bestseller or a celebrity, but you’ll get a nifty certificate redeemable for status] and becoming America’s next Book Millionaire [Though you won’t actually get a million dollars].
Book Millionaire is being aired on cable nationwide Fall
Imagine achieving the "lifestyle of a successfully published author." Let me give you a taste of what you can hope for: I had El Pollo Loco for lunch today, picked up my daughter at school, and got a haircut. Will they get to do that? I think not. I’ve earned those perks the hard way, pal. They’ll also get additional prizes to help towards the goal of Celebrity Status, something I bet Lori knows a lot about. I know I wake up every day and ask myself "Gosh, what can I do today to achieve my goal of Celebrity Status? I think I’ll say something nasty about fanfic."
What Lori hopes you’ll do, of course, is go to one of her get-rich-quick seminars, get-rich-quick books, get-rich-quick tapes, hire her for qet-rich-quick consulting or pay her to publish your book through her get-rich-quick vanity press, Best Seller Publishing.
Look for "Book Millionaire" to show up as Paid Programming on a local cable channel near you, sometime around 2 a.m. between the infomercial for the The Meat Syringe and Ron Jeremy interviewing porn stars who use Y-Bron, "the natural viagra."