The Bookwhirl Morons Never Learn

Those imbeciles at Bookwhirl, who offer inept publicity services, sent me… a guy who has been trashing them for years….a promo for their Thanksgiving sale just to prove that they still can't promote themselves effectively,  much less an author. The best proof of their staggering ineptitude as publicists is that they even have me on their mailing list.

One of the hallmarks of Bookwhirl's publicity efforts has always been their stunning inability to write. That hasn't changed. I loved this paragraph from their promo:

Early Bird Catches the Early Worm Promo is a race on catching the finest prices on the earliest dates. encourages you to harvest the fattest perks of being early. Here's a run down of how being an early bird can get your money's worth fly at an extra-extra mile. 

Nobody crafts a sentence quite like the wonderful wordsmiths at Bookwhirl. I wonder whether anyone at Bookwhirl ever went beyond the sixth grade or if they only hire non-English speakers. You can find amazing examples of their inability to craft a sentence all over their site. Here's one of my favorites, especially given the context….

Apparently, someone has been sending out emails to authors warning them not to use Bookwhirl's over-priced, worthless services. Bookwhirl has a notice on their site urging potential customers not to heed the warning:

The scammer operates by sending warning messages to authors that contains false allegations and bad publicities about that has never been proven accurate.

I'd say Bookwhirl just proved the "scammer" right. That said, I think the warnings being sent out by the "scammer" are pointless. Anyone who hires Bookwhirl after reading anything they've written deserves to be screwed over by them.

3 thoughts on “The Bookwhirl Morons Never Learn”

  1. Someone from Bookwhirl called me one day about a specific book I’d written. Didn’t I need help promoting it? Well, no, the book had been out of print for a decade. Was I interested in bringing it back into print? Well, it was a tie-in book (obvious from the title) and that wasn’t my decision. The caller (who was apparently from overseas) couldn’t understand why I wasn’t ready to get on board with them to promote the book.
    The funny thing was, I’d been out to a 20th anniversary convention for the show in question a couple of weeks before. Three of us spent several hours talking to fans and signing books – that had been out of print ten years. I don’t think we needed any help.


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