The clueless desperation of some aspiring writers is absolutely cringe-inducing. Here's a recent example from my emailbox:
Hi…I know you are busy…but…would you at least read my bio with a very short paragraph from my novel and give me some suggestion on how to have an agent read something? Please…I am not asking you a lot…I've attached my bio, and if you are interested…please…would you give it to your agent for me? Thank you for taking the time to read.
I politely declined to read her bio or the sample from her book. She didn't take the hint. A short time later she wrote back to me:
Hi Lee, I apologize for bothering you again.. I remember you told me that you didn't want to read my book…but I was wondering if you could give it to your agent to read… It's really important, my true story and I really believe it's a very good one…have a look at my blog at least to be sure I'm good…would you do that?
No, I told her, I would not.
What makes people think that I routinely forward work by strangers to my agent? I don't want my agent spending his time reading work by strangers. I want him out there finding work for me!
That's not to say I haven't referred writers to my agent. I have. But they have always been good friends or students of mine that I know well and who I can vouch for as writers and as great human beings. I have never referred strangers to my agent and never will. So don't ask.
So I guess there’s no chance you’ll forward my true story of how Arab terrorists put in a plan fifty years ago to get one of their own in as President to your agent, eh?
“Clueless” and “Desperation,” absolutely. But also what about just plain rude and intrusive? And while I’m at it: don’t forget insensitive.
As the song from “Chicago” goes: What Ever Happened To Class? (Now that everyone’s a pain in the ass.) And that was back in the 70’s!
The situation has improved since then? Really? Ya think? lol
Oh, you’re so put upon. Fame must be a terrible burden.
Yikes. I did that very thing back in the day. My variation was to send a fan letter to some writers and ask if they might look at my story–which I did NOT include.
They never wrote back, though. Bang went that SASE.
To be fair, they were editors for a collection of media tie-in stories and had talked about reading lots of submissions, so I was on the right track.