Ken Levine's blog post today isn't just a brilliant satire of Aaron Sorkin's distinct style…it's also great writing. I loved it. Here's a taste:
EXT. KAUFFMAN STADIUM — NIGHT
THE MANAGER, LEO, TROTS OUT TO THE MOUND TO TALK TO BELEAGURED PITCHER, DANNY (THERE’S ALWAYS A DANNY). THE BASES ARE LOADED. THE CROWD IS GOING NUTS. IT’S GAME SEVEN OF THE WORLD SERIES.
LEO
You can’t get a good lobster in this town.
DANNY
Last I checked we were in Kansas City.
LEO
4.6 billion pork ribs sold every year and 18.9 tons of beef consumed annually since 1997 –
DANNY
They like their beef, what can I tell ya?
LEO
But you’d think just for variety’s sake.
DANNY
I can still throw my curve.
LEO
For strikes?
DANNY
I’m not throwing enough?
LEO
I’ve seen more lobsters.
DANNY WALKS TO THE ROSIN SACK, GIVES IT A SQUEEZE, DECIDES TO KEEP WALKING. HE AND LEO NOW WALK OUT INTO CENTER FIELD.
DANNY
It’s just that…
LEOWhat? Kathy?
DANNY
No. Cabs. There’s no cohesiveness on this team. After road games, 25 cabs for 25 players. There used to be a thing called “the greater good”, forgoing your needs for the betterment of the team and community who looks to us for their identity and self worth. When I’m trying to save a game I’m really trying to save a factory. If baseball is a metaphor for life, then responsibility is its first cousin simile. And Kathy.
LEO
That’s a “1” on your back and not a “2”.
DANNY
I can’t help it. She knocks my sanitary socks off.
What amazes me is the Ken is clairvoyant, writing this post literally YEARS before Sorkin was hired for MONEYBALL.
Absolutely brilliant writing. By packing in details that illustrate why the characters feel as they do, it achieves a richness that moves the quality of the writing towards the Shakespeare end of the spectrum.
I think this illustrates why I’ve never watched any of Sorkin’s shows.
I remember when he wrote this, spoofing on studio 60… We’ll get a chance to see how on the nose it turns out to be once Sorkin’s rewritten Moneyball sees the light of day.
Thanks again for turning me on to Levin’s blog, it is always fantastic.
Wow, Dan, comparing a blog post to Shakespeare? Don’t pick up any Tolstoy, your head will explode.
But Bryan, have you done a study of Shakespeare’s sentences? THE TEMPEST is the most accessible of his plays. Like Homer, he paints word-pictures with extended metaphors, packing in vividly rich visual detail so that emotions are brought to life through images of physical action. There is no reason why writers cannot do the same thing today, and even do better. Milton proved that in PARADISE LOST.
As for Tolstoy, I’ve read ANNA KARININA a number of times and, obviously, it’s one of the greatest novels. But have you studied the structure of his chapters? Each one employs a four-act structure, with two paragraphs or so in each act. There’s no reason why we can’t do the same and do it better. Tiger Woods set a goal of exceeding Jack Nickolaus and he’s doing it. If you don’t strive to do the highest quality of work, what’s the point? This blog of Mr. Levine’s is just brilliant, and it’s quality is remarkable, but if it’s not your thing then you won’t see that, I guess.