The LA Times reports that Johnny Ray Gasca was convicted yesterday of seven criminal counts relating to his bootlegging of movies and flight from justice. One major piece of evidence against him was his diary, where he bragged that he made $4000 a week illegally taping movies with his camcorder. Gasca, who defended himself, explained the journal this way:
In a deep voice with a thick Bronx accent, Gasca told the jury that the journal
was a work of fiction written to impress girls.
"And I gotta tell you,"
he told the 12-member jury, "it worked."
I can just imagine the scene. Gasca goes up to a girl in a bar.
"Hey, baby, I’m a movie pirate."
"Really? Where’s your eyepatch?"
"I don’t have an eyepatch," he says, "but I keep a journal. Would you like to read it?"
"Sure," she says.
He takes out his journal, opens it up to key page, and shows it to her. She reads it, looks up at him, and says breathlessly:
"You sat in a movie theatre and taped THE CORE off the screen with a camcorder?"
He nods and, in doing so, redefines suave.
"That is so hot. I-I-I," She grabs the bar and shudders. "Oh God, I just climaxed thinking about it. Take me home, now, so I can make love to you all night."
"I have a better idea. I have my camcorder with me," he whispers. "What do you say we go to the AMC and tape SPY KIDS?"
She shudders again. "Stop. Torturing. Me. I don’t think I can take much more of this, you incredibly hot, bootlegging stud…"