Month: November 2005

Indulging My Inner Old Coot

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Neil Diamond’s new 12 SONGS came out today — and it’s terrific, his best album since THE JAZZ SINGER. We always knew he still had at least one more great album left in him. We never lost faith. Not when he did the HEADING TO THE FUTURE video. Not when he sang about ET. Not even when he went country.  Way to go, Neil.

Deadly Pleasures finds BADGE a Pleasure

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Maggie Mason gave THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE a rave in her review for the upcoming issue of Deadly Pleasures Magazine:

THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE by Lee Goldberg (Five Star,
$25.95) First in the Harvey Mapes series.  Rating A
 
You wouldn’t think of Harvey Mapes when asked to name a dashing PI.  Harvey
works as a night shift gate guard in a Southern California gated community.  He
lives in an older apartment complex, and isn’t what you’d call a real
go-getter.  Imagine his surprise when a wealthy resident wants to hire him to
find out what is going on with his wife.  Cyril Parkus knows something is wrong
with Lauren, but isn’t sure what. 
Harvey secures a fee a bit over what Jim Rockford used to charge, buys some
disposable cameras, and tails Lauren.  Much of his sleuthing skills are obtained
by watching reruns of classic detective TV shows.  Surprisingly, Harvey is
success full in his endeavors.  Cyril reacts in a strange manner when Harvey
makes his final report, and pays him off.  Harvey is not convinced the entire
story has been told, and continues his investigation, all the while lamenting
his lack of a big, angry, strong sidekick, and an insider at the police
department.  He does have a neighbor named Carol who begins to get involved in
the investigation, and romantically with Harvey, but that won’t help him if he
decides to put up a PI shingle.
Harvey uses his payoff money to go to the Seattle area to continue the
investigation, and does clear everything up, while nearly paying the ultimate price.  The good
news, is he may have obtained his "Hawk" on the trip. 
 

This was a witty, wonderful book.  It was hard to keep from chuckling out
loud while reading Harvey’s take on how to be a PI.  I remember enjoying
Goldberg’s previous novels, especially MY GUN HAS BULLETS, and this may even top
that for laughs.  The man on the cover illustration looks like a young Tim Daly,
who would perhaps be a good casting decision for the movie that is crying to be
made from this book.

Thank you, Maggie! She’s one of several critics who’ve noted that BADGE is the first in a series. It’s news to me — though perhaps Five Star is saying that it is. I certainly hope I have the opportunity to write more about Harvey but so far, nobody has asked…

Becoming Someone Else

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Lewis Perdue and Paul Levine are just a few of the authors who have referred me to the Wall Street Journal piece on novelists who have to adopt pseudonyms to stay in print.

Now that retailers can track books sales speedily and efficiently with
point-of-sale technology, the entire publishing world knows when an
author’s commercial performance takes a dive. For these unfortunate
scribblers, such a sales record makes it hard to get good advances and big
orders from bookstores. So some are adopting an unusual strategy: adopting
an alias — even one of the opposite sex…

Two decades ago, the book industry largely relied on guesswork as it decided
what to publish and sell. Editors could keep promoting promising authors,
even if sales were weak. When they finally wrote a "breakout" title, their
catalog of older books would become valuable.

These days, publishing
veterans talk about "the death spiral" of authors’ careers. A first novel
generates terrific reviews and good sales, but with each succeeding book,
sales get weaker and the chains cut their orders until they don’t stock any
at all.

"You’re only as good as your last book’s sales to much of the
retail  market," says New York literary agent Richard Pine, a principal in
Inkwell Management LLC.

This practice of authors having to change their names to defeat the computers at the chains has been going on for some time. For example, Gar Haywood became "Ray Shannon" and hasn’t made a secret of it.  Neither has Jeremiah Healy, who lately has been writing books as "Terry Devane." Terrill Lee Lankford,  a frequent commentor here, tells WSJ that he resisted pressure to follow their example.

Terrill Lee Lankford’s literary agency was urging him to take a pseudonymeven before his book, "Blonde Lightning," hit the shelves this summer. He
declined the advice. His earlier title, "Earthquake Weather," was a
critical, if not commercial success. But since it wasn’t a big seller,
orders from bookstores for the follow-up were lackluster. Mr. Lankford’s 
editor at Bertelsmann AG’s Ballantine imprint was enthusiastic about the
sequel but the author’s agency said his name was a liability.

Mr.
Lankford says switching monikers is unethical. "If somebody didn’t like my
book under my own name it would be wrong to sell another book to that person
under a different name," he says. "Just to defeat the computers at Barnes
& Noble and Borders isn’t a good reason for doing this."

He may not think so, but author Reed Farrell  Coleman isn’t taking a chance. His next book will be written by "Tony Spinosa."

Say Goodbye to I

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Variety reports that NBC has acquired an option to buy  PAX,  which was recently rechristened The I Network (presumably the "I" was for endless "Informercials").

NBC U paid $25 million for an 18-month option to buy the "family-friendly"
broadcaster in a deal that gives the network control over the fate of the
company owning the largest group of TV stations in the nation.

As part of the deal, founder Lowell "Bud" Paxson will step down as CEO and
become "chairman emeritus"; NBC U biz
development chief Brandon Burgess will become chief exec of Paxson.

NBC Universal can’t acquire Paxson under current FCC ownership limits, but
the option can be transferred to other parties, allowing NBC to shop for a
strategic partner for Paxson, be it a studio, a conglom
without TV assets or a new media company such as Yahoo! or Google…

How the network once known as Pax-TV will change depends on who comes forward
as a partner in the venture. That partner could be a cable company with content
aspirations, a satellite TV company looking to expand local programming, or a
conglom without stations, such as Time
Warner.

"This transition is just the beginning of the evaluation process," said
Burgess. "Today is the beginning of allowing interested programming partners to
come and talk to us."

It’s not so much the network that appeals to NBC (or anybody else, especially in its current incarnation) but the station group that Paxson owns. So don’t to see SUE THOMAS F.B.EYE 0n NBC any time soon.

Gorman on the Big Screen

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Variety reports that Ed Gorman’s novel THE POKER CLUB is finally coming to the screen.Tim McCann will direct from a script by Johnathon Schaech and
Richard Chizmar.

This tale of suburban violence focuses on four buddies who discover and
accidentally kill a burglar — who may not be alone — in the kitchen during
their weekly poker night. Their lives and the lives of their families are
forever changed by the difficult choices they must make. A January start date in Manitoba is
planned for "Poker."

Way to go Ed! I’m getting in line at the AMC right now.

Live and in the Flesh

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My brother Tod and I will be signing our books and answering your questions about mystery writing, screenwriting, sex, horticulture, street paving, vanity presses, acne  and Lindsay Lohan’s nipples at:

Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego, Saturday Nov. 12 at 2 pm

and again at

Barnes & Noble in Santa Monica, Thursday, Nov. 17th at 7:30 pm.

We hope to see you there.

PS – That innocent mention of Lindsay Lohan’s nipples should bring me an extra 1000 hits by this time tomorrow. And those of you who came to this post because you were searching for Lindsay Lohan’s nipples should be ashamed of yourselves. What’s so special about Lindsay Lohan’s nipples anyway? Nipples are nipples. Are they any more nippular because they happen to be on Lindsay Lohan?

I Love a Mystery Loves Badge

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The kind folks over at the I LOVE A MYSTERY newsletter have given my new novel THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE a rave review.

Book Cover
For those who have never read one of Lee Goldberg’s books, you are missing some of the most enjoyable reading around. From his DIAGNOSIS MURDER series to his
stand-alone novels, Mr. Goldberg never fails to entertain. Whether he is writing about the lovable Dr. Mark Sloan, the inner workings of Hollywood, or a character dealing with his own demons, he delivers. Once again, with the release of THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE, he comes through.

Harvey Mapes is in his late twenties, stuck in a life of boredom. His job is that of a security guard at a gated community — a rent-a-cop. He has a part-time girl friend in his apartment building. He has the usual dreams of something better, fueled by his love of detective novels and detective show reruns on television. Then, one day, his life takes a change. Cyril Parkus, one of the wealthy residents of the community he “guards” ask Harvey to do him a favor. Cyril needs someone to tail his wife to see what she is up to. Mr. Parkus suspects something but has no proof. Harvey jumps at the chance even though he has no idea of what he is supposed to do. His only guide comes from the characters in novels about Travis McGee, “Dirty Harry” movies, and the “Mannix” and Rockford television shows.

Through a series of humorous actions, dangerous beatings and murders, Harvey pursues the truth – all the while throwing out the usual clichés when he is confronted with danger. Yes, he
actually tells one thug to “Make my day.”

Piece by piece, Harvey becomes a better private eye than he realized he could be. He continues his detective work for two main purposes. One, for his own satisfaction. And two, he wants to impress Carol, his part-time lover, since she seems to have become quite enamored of him now.

Harvey Mapes is the type of wannabe that many of us can see within ourselves. He is the type of fictional character who could find life in several other story lines.

Even though I know that he will find a way, I am wondering how Mr. Goldberg can continue to give us his trademark unique endings. With the conclusion of THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE he once again shows his talent to surprise and please a reader.

The causes behind all the subterfuge and secrets get turned on their heads with the conclusion of his latest work. Not many writers can make us both laugh and feel sad within the same story line.

Thanks so much to Tom Mayes and everyone over at I LOVE A MYSTERY.

Dear Mr. Teriyaki

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Author Eric Stone posted this on the DorothyL discussion list this morning:

Did anyone else who attended Men of Mystery in Irvine, California
on Saturday find the story Dean Koontz told in his speech about his
letter writing campaign to the president of a Japanese company, offensive? I
did. And I’m pretty hard to offend. At least one other author I know who
was there, who has lived in Japan, also found it offensive. We both were
aghast. While most of the people in the audience were laughing, we
weren’t.

I write thrillers that are set in Asia. I know the region well.
I lived and worked in Asia for 11 years and though I never lived in Japan, I
visited it for business and on holidays at least twice a year that entire
time. If I was ever to create a character that would say or write things
similar to what Mr. Koontz claimed to have written in his letters to the
Japanese corporate executive, it would be for the purpose of showing him as
a culturally-insensitive lout – the Ugly American personified as it
were.

Sheesh, I was enjoying the event up until then, and looking forward
to hearing Mr. Koontz speak.

I also found his  letters to the Japanese CEO offensive.
So did quite a few other authors in attendance (I didn’t talk to any of the 550  "civilians" in the audience
about it).

Koontz talked about a dispute he
had with a studio owned by a Japanese company and regaled the audience with the
letters he wrote to the Japanese CEO, who he referred to as "Mr. Teriyaki." The
letters used WWII, the Japanese surrender, Bataan Death March, and Godzilla to ridicule the CEO and
browbeat him into taking Koontz’s name off a movie based on one of his books. To
say the jokes were in horrifically bad taste and that letters
themselves were cringe-inducing in their boorish insensitivity would be an
understatement.
 
What if the CEO was black? Would Koontz have addressed his letters to Mr. Fried Chicken and joked about the good old days of slavery and racial discrimination? Or if
the CEO was a Jew? Would he have called him Mr. Matzoball and reminded him of the
Holocaust? I was astonished that people were laughing when they should have
shunned him with silence. It’s a shame, because Koontz is an incredibly talented
writer who I’m sure could have delivered both an entertaining and interesting
speech.

UPDATE: My brother Tod was also shocked by Koontz’s speech.

Each letter was addressed to "Mr. Teriyaki." (Internment camps were not
mentioned in any of the letters, which I assume was a simple omission on Mr.
Koontz’s part and will be rectified in the future.)

Stunningly, the audience thrilled to the stories! The laughter cascaded about
the room! People dabbed tears! Do you have any stories about your hatred of the
Jews, Mr. Koontz? Any good ones about the Muslim world? How about a notation on
some more racial stereotypes you’ve used when negotiating your name off other
shitty movies?

Happily, author after author came walking to the back of the room in horror
(more horror than is typically engendered by one of Koontz’s books, no doubt)
and wonder about what they were hearing. Did he really just tell a 15 minute
story about the Japanese where he referred to the person in question as Mr.
Teriyaki? Was the audience really laughing? Or, as Rob Roberge said, "Is he
coming out in blackface next?"

UPDATE: I got a call today from Dean Koontz, who wasn’t pleased about the comments here. I apologized to him for using "Sambo" and "Kike" as comparisons for his use of "Mr. Teriyaki" to refer to the Asian exec. He found the use of those words pejorative and said they mischaracterized the tenor of his speech. I agreed. So I  have changed them to "Mr. Fried Chicken" and "Mr. Matzoball." I believe his speech was  offensive and in bad taste — and I reiterated that belief to him in our phone conversation.

Author Joe Konrath, who was also in attendance, weighs in on his blog:

There’s a lot of buzz circulating about Dean Koontz’s speech, and how
he offended many attendees. Personally, I didn’t find the remarks
offensive—Koontz was purposely trying to be humorously insulting, in
order to get a certain Japanese CEO to drop his name from a movie
title. His goal was to dishonor the guy. The problem was in the set-up
and the execution. Koontz just wasn’t very funny. George Carlin is a
lot more offensive, but gets away with it because he’s funny.

Had
Koontz spent more time showing he was the underdog, and established
that he wasn’t racist and did all of this to right an injustice (rather
than because he simply wanted his way, which is how he came off), I
think the story would have gone over a little better.

Or perhaps Mr. Koontz should simply retire this particular anecdote.

More UPDATES on the jump:

 

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