Lee Goldberg

It’s the Script, Stupid

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The single, most important aspect of a movie is the script. You can have all the best actors and technology available and it means nothing if the story and the dialogue are crap.  That is the undeniable lesson of movies like SKY CAPTAIN and, more recently SIN CITY.

I saw SIN CITY today, and while I marveled at the technological achievement and the look of the film, after a few minutes that excitement and fascination evaporated and crushing boredom took over. The movie is, in a word, awful.  Why? Because the story, the dialogue, and the characters  are terrible.  The narrative is a mess, the characters are non-existant, and there isn’t a single real emotion to hold on to.  The writing itself is wince-inducingly bad.

Anyone who doubts the importance of the writer to a film, of a strong script, a well-constructed story and credible characters you can believe  (notice I don’t say "like" or "identify with")  should be tied to a chair and forced to watch SIN CITY (that’s what it would take to make me see it again). 

You can hire the biggest names on the SAG membership rolls, fill every inch of the screen with amazing effects and gore, and pummel the audience with blaring sound and thunderous music, but none of that will hide the absense of a good script.

That’s one reason why I loved THE INCREDIBLES so much… it was a great movie with big effects, a strong story,  wonderful dialogue and characters so credible it didn’t matter that they weren’t even portrayed by flesh-and-blood actors.  Not only did it look good, and sound good,
but most important of all, it was well written.

It’s all about the script.

It’s why old shows like  STAR TREK, I LOVE LUCY, and GUNSMOKE hold up so well today… it doesn’t matter if the show is in black-and-white,  or that Dodge City is  clearly on a soundstage,  or that the consoles on the bridge of the Enterprise look less sophisticated than an 8-track tape deck. It’s the writing and the acting that carries the shows…and that, ultimately, is what endures long after the "wow"-factor of the film-making technology has worn off and become dated. Which, in the case of SKY CAPTAIN and SIN CITY, is about five minutes into the films.

SIN CITY is a technological achievement, and a poor excuse for a movie.

Fluff You

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Carly at the Daily Grind blog takes the writers of a recent NIP/TUCK  episode to task for perpetuating the “fluffer” fantasy and portraying it as an entry-level porn job.
First off, she says, fluffers simply don’t exist… guys tend to, uh, fluff themselves between scenes.

Furthermore, the notion of “having to work your way up” in the industry is absolutely hysterical. If a girl walks into an agency and says, “I’m ready to do a 900-guy anal gangbang with overweight Germans while juggling flaming chainsaws and playing ‘Bark At The Moon’ on the kazoo,” the agent isn’t going to tell her, “I’m sorry, but you have to start out as a fluffer first.” He’s going to get on the phone to JM Productions right away and negotiate a piece of the pie for him or herself….

…So no big deal, scriptwriters, but I had to get that off my chest. We must stop the fluffer madness for the good of the people, for accuracy, and for the sake of entertainment everywhere.

(Thanks to  "Markus1917  in Berlin" for pointing me to this blog)

 

Mystery News Roundup

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Screenwriter Ben Ramsey has been hired to adapt James Patterson’s ROSES ARE RED for the big-screen. If the film is made, it would be the third movie starring Morgan Freeman as homicide detective Alex Cross.

After ten years of foreplay,  David James Elliott’s Harmon Rabb finally beds down Catherine Bell’s  Mac in the series finale of JAG, which CBS has decided to cancel…opting not  to continue with a re-formated version of the series with a new cast shot on the cheap in San Diego. Zap2It reports that the finale, scheduled for 9 p.m. ET April 29, will find Harm
and Mac "forced to face [their] feelings once and for all" following a
"bombshell" revelation by Gen. Cresswell.

The premiere of ABC’s private eye drama EYES tanked, coming in third for the hour, dropping 29% from its ALIAS lead-in and, more troubling, losing viewers at the half-hour mark.

An Award for the Gullible

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It’s award time again in the literary world… and I’m not talking about the Hugo, The Edgar, The National Book Award, or the Pulitizer. I am talking, of course, about  the 13th Annual Writers Digest International Self-Published Book Awards. 

  ONE GRAND PRIZE WINNER will be awarded $3,000
  cash and promotion in Writer’s Digest and
  Publishers Weekly,
and marketing advice from self-publishing guru Dan Poynter with six
hours of book shepherding from Poynter Book Shepherd Ellen Reid. Plus,
the editors of Writer’s
  Digest will endorse and submit 10 copies of the
  Grand Prize-Winning book to major review houses
  such as The New York Times and The Washington Post, and an excerpt will be published in Writer’s Digest. In addition, Book Marketing Works, LLC will provide a one-year membership in Publishers Marketing Association, a customized Book Market Map Directory, guaranteed distribution to bookstores and libraries through Baker & Taylor, and a guaranteed review in Midwest Book Review.
                  
                  
 

9 FIRST-PLACE WINNERS
  will receive $500 cash and promotion in Writer’s
  Digest. In addition, Book Marketing Works, LLC will provide a guaranteed review in Midwest Book Review.  Plus,
all Grand Prize and First Place winners will receive book-jacket seals
to promote the award-winning status of their book, promotion on the Writer’s Digest Web site at writersdigest.com, a copy of The Complete Guide to Self-Publishing, 4th Edition by Tom and Marilyn Ross, and a Notable Award Certificate.
 

HONORABLE MENTION WINNERS
  will receive promotion in Writer’s Digest, $50 worth of Writer’s Digest Books and a Notable Award Certificate.
 
 

The awards  honor the best self-published books in a number of categories…not for the year, oh no, that would be too limiting,  but of  "the last few years" (2003-2005, to be exact), which is one of the things that makes this such a prestigious, sought-after kudo.  I mean, who wouldn’t want the honor of being dubbed "The Writer’s Digest International Best Self-Published Inspirational Novel of the Last Couple of Years Or So?" And what other award gives you stickers you can put on your book yourself? Wow!

And, to honor the fact that self-published authors have paid through the nose already just to be published, Writers Digest is charging a mere $100 entry fee for the chance to win this great, great honor. I mean, the writers paid to be published, it’s only right they should pay for the opportunity to be honored, too.

It’s astonishing that some people think aspiring writers are so gullible and desperate for publication and acclaim that they’ll ring up more and more debt on their credit cards to get even the illusion of it.

Of course, they’re right.

Hornswoggle & Flummery

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LA Times book critic Eugen Weber is channeling Nero Wolfe in his latest Sunday wrap-up of mysteries. For instance, he has this to say about James Swain’s MR LUCKY :

Master of con, flimflam, hornswoggle and simple cheating, James Swain
has turned out another sparkling hymn to gambler-gulling and its rival
sport: detection.

140006270501_sclzzzzzzz_And he wasn’t too fond of Matthew Carnahan’s  SERPENT GIRL.

[The book] is touted
by Publishers Weekly as a gleefully deranged tale. In fact, it’s toxic
waste: the humorless derangement more apparent than glee…

…Carnahan’s flummery and his frequently fried cast should prove a
knockout among video game fans, especially the 7- to 20-year-olds, at
least those who can read and enjoy his miscellany of rage, alcohol,
drugs, deception, thieving, prurience and pornography.

"Hornswoggle" and "Flummery"? Is this 1940? While it’s nice to see Weber actually venturing an opinion for a change, the real fun is trying to follow  some of his tortured sentences.  Take this one, for example:

That permits Carnahan, a Southern California filmmaker with a weather
eye on the future flick, to in quick takes sketch a foul world of
scamming and smash-and-grab; tweaked-out people using peyote, speed
meth and nitrous oxide; and, of course, lots of graphic sex and
exuberant brutality.

A "weather eye on the future flick?" Do people still stay "flick?"  Groovy.

Gunsmoke: One Man’s Justice

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Since I’m wallowing in my TV geekness today (see my earlier post on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA),  here’s a heads-up on another TV revival to watch for…

GunsmokedvdsThe  Western Channel is running GUNSMOKE: ONE MAN’S JUSTICE this week… the final GUNSMOKE revival/sequel movie and, to date, James Arness’ final performance.  It’s the only one of the five GUNSMOKE movies that’s unavailable on video or DVD and the only one I haven’t seen. I’m eagerly looking forward to it… with both Tivos primed to record it (in case there are any screw ups). The  previous GUNSMOKE movies are all terrific and the first three are available seperately, or together in a combo pack, on DVD.

(UPDATE 4-8-05: I justed watched ONE MAN’S JUSTICE and it sucked. On the other hand, RETURN TO DODGE, LAST APACHE,  TO THE LAST MAN, and THE LONG RIDE are good stuff. THE LONG RIDE is also unavailable on DVD)  Gunsmoke2_

And speaking of GUNSMOKE, Joseph West’s latest tie-in novel will be available later this month.

Battlestar Galactica

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The season finale of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA was terrific… hands down the best science fiction show on TV in decades…and easily one of the best dramas of any genre on TV this season. It certainly packs more punch per hour than THE WEST WING or LAW AND ORDER have in years.  Watching the show makes me feel like a kid again…it’s one of the few programs I look forward to with fannish glee. It’s also one of the few shows on TV today that’s pure entertainment.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA may also be the first TV remake, on TV or the big screen, that’s far superior to the series that inspired it.  I wasn’t wowed by the initial miniseries, or the first episode or two, but the series got better and better with each episode, ending in a season finale that was exciting, surprising, funny, dramatic and a heck of a lot of fun to watch.

I can’t wait for the new episodes in July…

(PS – How can anybody be clamoring for a loyal remake of the original series after watching this show??)

My Book Haul

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As usual on my trips, I came home with a box of books. Here’s what I bought during my journey between L.A. and Santa Fe…

Hardcovers (used):
Dark Trail by Ed Gorman ($2)
Ryan Rides Back by Bill Crider ($2)
Texas Capitol Murders by Bill Crider (signed first edition $7)
Finding Moon by Tony Hillerman (signed first edition $20)
Blackening Song by Aimee & David Thurlo (signed first edition $20)
North of Montana by April Smith (first edition $4)
Ashworth Hall by Anne Perry (signed first edition $9)
Pentecost Alley by Anne Perry (signed first edition $9)

Hardcovers (new):
Sight Hound by Pam Houston (signed)
Rabbitt Factory by Larry Brown (signed)
Ya-Yas in Bloom by Rebecca Wells (signed)

Paperbacks (used)
Wild Wild West #3 by Robert Vaughan
Trailback by Robert Vaughan
The Lawmen by Robert Vaughan
Range Wars by Robert Vaughan
Galveston Gunman by Bill Crider
The Babysitter by Andrew Coburn
Diablo Grant by James Reasoner
Hawthorne Legacy by James Reasoner
Old Boys by Charles McCarry (An ARC)

As you can see, I’m  on a western kick lately.

Foul Language

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My sister-in-law Wendy wonders on her blog why  romance writers, and readers, have such a hard time with people using cuss words.

So often, romances have a sanitized vibe to them. As though they have been scrubbed clean for the protection of the reader. Well, you know what? My ‘virgin’ eyes don’t need to be protected from foul words because I can cuss colorfully. My mother says I can make a sailor blush—and she’s been saying that since I was thirteen. I don’t buy into the theory that only the uneducated, who can’t stretch for word choice, pepper their speech with profanity. Everyone
I know, and I mean everyone, in my circle of family and friends went to
college and every single one of them cusses (some more liberally than
others). So why don’t characters in romances reflect this? Why don’t they speak like real people?

It’s not just in romances. You wouldn’t believe how many emails I got when someone said "shit" in the first  DIAGNOSIS MURDER book.  One profanity in the whole book and you’d think I’d spent ten pages describing a scene of bestiality…

Blurbs…the sequel

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My friend Gregg Hurwitz talks about what it takes to get him to conside giving a book a blurb.  Number two on his list is that author has actually read Gregg’s stuff.

Nothing says
arrogance like an unpublished writer asking me to read his manuscript
who hasn’t bothered to read one of my books.

Even that won’t guarantee Gregg will give you a kudo.

I don’t care if it’s a social novel or a book of lesbian haiku, the first few pages better sing.

Which explains why he wouldn’t blurb my book of Jewish lesbian haiku ("Mazel Love"). I thought it was because my publisher put Dick Van Dyke’s picture on the cover of that book, too.