Remembering Joseph Wambaugh

Lee Goldberg with Joseph Wambaugh Los Angeles Times Festival of Books 2012

I’m very sad to hear about Joseph Wambaugh‘s passing.

Like my brother Tod Goldberg, who has posted a Facebook remembrance of Joe, I don’t remember how I first met him, only that he was a friend of our family for years. It was probably through my Mom, and maybe at the Santa Barbara Writer’s Conference. But I have all of his books signed, and several photos with him over the years.

The last time we actually saw each other face-to-face (but not the last time we talked) was at the 2012 Los Angeles Times Festival of Books…he’d asked me to interview him on stage to promote his latest HOLLYWOOD STATION novel. I was delighted to do it. I read up on his old interviews, watched on YouTube his old appearances on Johnny Carson and Tom Snyder, and figured I’d just ask him the questions I knew he already had great answers for…and a few fresh questions of my own.

We had lunch together beforehand, and it was all great….but just before we were supposed to go on stage, he pulled me aside and said…”I can’t do it. We have to cancel the interview.” I thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. He was having a panic attack. I told him you’ve been on Johnny Carson, Merv Griffin, this is nothing. I’m going to ask you softball questions you’ve been asked before, nothing you can’t answer. But he shook his head. I can’t do it. I’ve lost it. I’m terrible. I said you’ll be fine, if you don’t have the anecdote, I’ll give you a gentle reminder. You’ll kill, trust me.

And he did. He was wonderful, totally at ease, funny, insightful, his usual. But as we got off stage, he was shaking…and he said, “that’s it, I’m done. I won’t appear on stage ever again.”

To my knowledge, he never did.

But we stayed in touch. He blurbed a book of mine (KING CITY), he blurbed a book for Brash (Jack Bunker’s TRUE GRIFT…and there’s a great story behind that, too, but I will let Jack share it), and he congratulated me on LOST HILLS, which he thought was a great crime novel. I resisted the urge to ask him if I could use it as a blurb 🙂

He told me the secret to his cop novels was taking fellow cops to Ruth’s Chris, buying them a steak and some drinks, and letting them talk…and then just listening to what they had to say. Not so much to the specific stories, but the way they *told* their stories, what were the key details that matter to them, the observations they made, the language they used, how they held their bodies as they spoke… it never failed to inspire him.

And his work never failed to inspire me.

He will be missed.

Gene Hackman

Lee with Gene Hackman in Owensboro

I was saddened to hear about Gene Hackman’s passing. I had a brief encounter with him after he retired and had become an author.

He was a guest at the International Mystery Writer’s Festival at the RiverPark Center in Owensboro, KY, which was run at the time by Zev Buffman, a well-known Broadway producer.

When I arrived, I was brought on stage, given the key to the city, a gavel making me an honorary judge advocate, and then the Governor (or was it the Secretary of State?) honored me as a Kentucky Colonel, telling me I was joining a long list of people including Pope John Paul, Elvis Presley, Florence Henderson, Teddy Rosevelt, Harlan Sanders, etc. I joked that he was making a terrible mistake, he had the wrong person, etc. There was a lot of laughs and that was that.

I was staying at the Comfort Inn, off the freeway, along with some of the other authors, but also truck drivers, traveling families, etc. It’s place people usually stay on their way to somewhere else.

So, the next moring, I went down for breakfast, and it was mobbed with people…families, screaming kids, etc. I sat down with the late Bob Levinson to eat my bagel and Gene Hackman comes in. At first, nobody noticed him. The last person you expect to see at a Comfort Inn in Owensboro is somebody famous, certainly not an Oscar winning actor.

Hackman went through the motions of gathering his breakfast, and one by one, people recognized him… they were startled. They’d did spit-takes, or jumped back, or shrieked, and on each occasion, he smiled politely and took their shock in stride. It impressed me. It was also hilarious. Bob and I could have spent all day watching people react to Gene Hackman.

Later that day, Hackman was also brought up on stage, and given the key to the city and the gavel, and then the Governor made him a Kentucky Colonel, repeating the bit that Hackman was joining such luminaries as bla bla bla bla and, of course, the Governor looked at me now with a glint in his eye, Lee Goldberg.

Later, I approached Hackman and asked if I could have my picture taken with him, and he said of course…we also exchanged signed books.

I asked him what he was doing in Owensboro, and he said that Zev had given him one of his first jobs on Broadway, so if Zev calls, he shows up. I mentioned how impressed I was by his reaction at breakfast to being recognized and he said was used to it, but it had also surprised him, because off-camera, he looks like such an “everyman,” that he can often get away unnoticed.

I think that may have been one of his great gifts as an actor. He didn’t look like a movie star. He looked like a regular guy … but I think, when he wanted to, he could also *be* one.

My Call with the “Brokers AB Literary Agency” Scammers

Yesterday I got a phone message from “Jamie Brown” at Brokers AB, a “literary agency,” informing me that four major publishing companies wanted to buy my book for $250-400K. All Brokers AB wants in return is a 12% commission on the sale. Wow, how exciting! I googled Brokers AB, and learned they also do business as “WGA Publications,” and even have the audacity to list the Writers Guild of America website as part of their company. They are based in one of those “WeWork”-type shared offices in Oxnard, CA.  I called them back today… and played along for a while before questioning their entire, idiotic scam. Here is the entirety of the phone call.

EIGHT VERY BAD NIGHTS is here!

It’s pub day for the short story anthology Eight Very Bad Nights: A Collection of Hanuhhah Noirwhich includes my nasty novella “If Were a Rich Man,” featuring Ray Boyd, the “anti-Reacher,” a character I introduced in my collection Crown Vic.

The other ten stories in Eight Very Bad Nights are by James D.F. Hannah, David L. Ulin, Ivy Pochoda,  Nikki Dolson, J.R. Angelella, Jim Ruland, Liska Jacobs, Gabino Iglesias, and Stefanie Leder, and my brother Tod, who edited the book and wrote the foreword.

This is the first time Tod and I have been in a book together…and it’s perhaps the first time you can clearly tell by our stories that we’re brothers. I’m sure if we swapped bylines on his story and mine, nobody would notice the difference. But you can be the judge of that. 

The reviews for the book have been terrific, but of course I’m especially happy about the ones that call out my story for special attention…

“My favorite story in Eight Very Bad Nights is Lee Goldberg’s “If I Were a Rich Man,” featuring his anti-hero Ray Boyd tracking down a bundle of stolen cash during Hanukkah. Boyd plays all the notes just right and even falls into a honeytrap with both eyes open. Of course, everything works out for Boyd and the trip is a blast.” Dark City Underground

“Tod Goldberg’s titular story as well as brother Lee’s “If I Were a Rich Man” — the latter involving a Jewish ex-con, now a dementia patient in a retirement home in Merced — bring on the funny while being wildly observant.” Los Angeles Times

Fair warning… “If I Were a Rich Man” is a sharp and crude departure from my other fiction. It’s full of violence and explicit sex. So if you’re looking for the kind of stuff I wrote with Janet Evanovich, or for Monk and Diagnosis Murder, you are going to be disappointed and, perhaps, offended. 

 

The “Stellar Literary California” Scam

Today I got an unsolicited call from a “business consultant” at “Stellar Literary California” offering me a literary agent and self-publishing services. His pitch quickly disintegrated without much prodding. My favorite part was when he tried to convince me that he was calling from California….and not the Philippines or somewhere like it.

I did say one thing in the conversation that wasn’t true…not that this putz would know the difference: you don’t get 100% of the royalties if you publish through KPD. What I should have said is that there is no upfront charge for formating, interior design, or a basic cover. (Sorry my disheveled appearance and the crumbs on my face… I was writing & munching popcorn when I got this call and rushed to return it).

You can learn more about “Stellar Literary” at Writer Beware

 

Scaring Myself: The Challenges of Writing a Dual Time-Line Thriller

My thriller Calico, out this week in a new paperback and deeply discounted ebook editions, is both a contemporary police procedural…and a traditional western set in 1883. What the two storylines share is a body, buried in a shallow grave in California’s desolate Mojave desert.

I’d been thinking about the story for years… but put off writing it because I had too many contractual commitments and not enough time in-between them to do it. Those are lies, of course, excuses I told myself to justify not writing the book.

The truth is, the story terrified me. Thrillers are hard enough to write without trying to balance two time-lines and, on top of that, two wildly different genres (actually, three genres, but talking about that would be a spoiler).

The challenge of telling two connected stories, one in the past and one in the present, is making sure the reader isn’t ahead of the characters in either time-line. Because if you fail, it will kill the suspense and the mystery. There will be no surprises. Yet, you also don’t want to withhold information from the reader, because that would be cheating. The trick is knowing when to cut away from on time-line to the other, so the reader is never quite sure how much they really know. Maintaining that delicate balancing act throughout the story is the sweet spot because, if you can pull it off, it creates a palpable tension that generates excitement… the thrill in thriller.

You also have to create two protagonists, one in each time-line, that the reader will find equally compelling and that will anchor the reader so they can endure the shifting POVs. In Calico, those characters are Beth McDade, a disgraced ex-LAPD cop, seeking redemption as a San Bernardino County Sheriff’s detective in the Mojave Desert in present day…and, in 1882, it’s unskilled wanderer Ben, desperately trying to survive in a silver mining camp located in a scorching, dry, desolate hell-scape. Ben’s choices in the past will have a profound impact on Beth’s life over 135 years later, when a homicide investigation will either redeem her… or destroy her.

I created a spreadsheet to track the two time lines…as well as the key plot moves/reveals which, if given away too soon or too late, could ruin the entire book. I also used the spread sheet to get a sense of the pacing, of when it would be the right time, emotionally or thematically, to shift time periods, to keep the narrative momentum moving at warp-speed.

Beyond telling a two-track story, I wanted to take the two genres (actually three) and, while delivering on the familiar tropes, also subvert all the baked-in cliches and expectations. So, I gave myself another delicate balancing act to perform: delivering a true police procedural and a western (and that other genre I’m not revealing), while also de-constructing them to create something new.

And if you’re crossing genres, and time-lines, it’s essential that you maintain the same tone and pacing across them both, so it doesn’t feel like two different books, but one relentlessly engaging thriller.

Calico was the hardest book I’ve ever written (out of nearly 40) but, in some ways, it’s been the most creatively rewarding. I’m glad I took the risk. Because I believe if I don’t occasionally scare or challenge myself, I’m going to fail anyway – because my writing will become formulaic and complacent. 

I hope you’ll read Calico… and that you’ll let me know if my high-wire act worked…or if I hit the ground with a sickening splat. 

 

Six Common Scams Aimed at Writers

Lately, I am getting swamped by email and phone with publishing scams…which is a mistake, since I am an experienced, published author. Their primary targets are self-published, inexperienced, and desperate writers, who are easy to sucker.  Here are six common scams and how to avoid them. 
 
1. If any agent asks you to pay upfront for representation or “publishing services,” it’s a SCAM. Reputable agents make their money by getting a 10-20% commission from your work (the percentage depends on whether it’s for Hollywood or print).
 
2. If any TV program or podcast asks you to pay to be a guest, it’s a SCAM. Reputable TV shows *never* ask for money…and don’t pay you to appear, either (with the exception of paying your travel and hotel if they need you to come to New York or L.A., for example, but it’s exceedingly rare in this age of Zoom etc).
 
3. If any celebrity podcast wants to pay *you* to be a guest and/or wants to access your Facebook page for a live event, it’s a SCAM.
 
4. Don’t submit your book to any so-called “literary awards” competition that charges an entry fee, especially any with a city title in their name like the Los Angeles Book Awards, Paris Books Awards, London Books Awards, etc., it’s a SCAM. The vast majority of reputable awards, from organizations like Mystery Writers of America, Western Writers of America, International Thriller Writers, Los Angeles Times Book Prize, Pulitzer Prize, National Book Award, etc. do not charge a fee. (I can think of only three exceptions — the Romance Writers of America, the Crime Writers of UK and Crime Writers of Australia all charge entry fees, and they shouldn’t).
 
5. Do not pay for reviews from any publication (Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, Midwest Book Review), nobody in the industry takes the paid reviews seriously and using one to tout your submissions to an agent or publisher marks you as an amateur hungry for praise. It’s a SCAM and those industry trade publications should be ashamed of themselves for doing it. Kirkus and Publishers Weekly seperate their “legitimate” reviews from their “paid” reviews by putting them in different, monthly sections of their magazine. I think the Kirkus one is called “Discoveries” and the PW one is called “Booklife.” As an incentive to pay for Booklife reviews, PW occasionally selects one to feature among their legitimate reviews.
 
6. If you get a call or email out of the blue from a studio, talent agency, or supposedly a big company like HBO or Disney, that wants to option the movie or TV rights to your book, and maybe even offers you a huge amount of money, but first wants you to pay to produce a “pitch deck” or “theatrical trailer,” it’s a SCAM.
 
Finally, always Google the name of the company or individual that’s hitting you up with this incredible offer… and check Writers Beware before you act on anything. If someone claims to be a big producer or director, check their credits on imdb…usually they don’t have any or they don’t even exist… or, if they do, they could be pretending to be that real individual. Contact the “famous” or “reputable” person or their agent directly, not with the contact info you’ve been given, but through contact info you’ve found on your own for their agent, office or production company, to see if the person reaching out to you is the real person or a fraud.

The “Our Film Agency” Scam

Today I got a voice mail from “Our Film Agency” letting me know the exciting news that HBO Max is offering me $250,000 for the film rights to my book TELEVISION SERIES REVIVALS. Pretty amazing, huh? Especially for a non-fiction reference book published years ago! So I called them back and left a message…and then they called me back a few minutes later, this time claiming to be Columbia Pictures. Here’s a video of my conversation with the inept scammers.