Books

Signings A-Go Go

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Leetod14x6
My Brother Tod and I had a great time signing MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY and BURN NOTICE: THE FIX at Mysteries to Die For and Mystery Bookstore today. It was a real boost to Tod's ego to see the big crowds (our Mom actually arrived 25 minutes early to our MTDF signing to make sure she got a seat…even though she brought her own)  .Guys like me and Joel Osteen are used to it, but it was a new experience for my younger brother.  Some of the familiar faces in attendance at the signings included authors Leslie Lehr, Mary Yakuri Waters, John Saul, Eric Garcia, and Mark Sarvas, as well as our sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods, our niece Emily and our cousin Danny. There were even a couple of Light Sword survivors who showed up to introduce themselves and a lady who came just to tell Tod she hated the new season of BURN NOTICE (and wanted to him to pass along her comments to the producers). Linda took that picture to the left and is promising me some more. I'll post them when they come in..

The Two Goldbergs You Meet in Heaven

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 I was going to leave a post about the MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY booksignings I am doing tomorrow with my brother Tod, author of BURN NOTICE: THE FIX. But his post about the  signings is so good, I am just going to steal it:

As I
think everyone knows, I'm a huge, huge Mitch Albom fan, so imagine how
happy I was to learn that his next book, after The Four Chinese
Gymnasts You Meet In Pre-School, would be called The Two Goldberg
Brothers You Meet In Heaven! And keep an eye out for the Hallmark Hall
of Fame movie based on the book, starring Lou Diamond Phillips as me
and Levar Burton as Lee, with special guest appearances by Rosie O'Donnell as our sister Linda and Illeana Douglas as our sister Karen…

Hackett55In celebration of this exciting honor, my brother Lee and I have
decided to go out on the road to meet the people who will be so
inspired by us next year at this time. This weekend we'll be making two
appearances and, just for kicks, thought it might be fun to sign some
of our own books, too. I'll be signing The Fix and Lee will be signing
his 145,032nd Monk novel.

Here are the details:Clive_owen_01

First, this Saturday at 1pm, we'll be at Mysteries to Die For in Thousand Oaks.
If you happen to be one of the many people who've threatened to kill us
over the years, this would be a good one to attend as our sisters will
be there, too, and you can take out the whole family.

Then, three hours later, at 4pm, we'll be at the Mystery Bookstore in Westwood. My understanding is that for this event they are anticipating over 150,000 people, but my numbers could be slightly off.

My brother got a few facts wrong. Clive Owen will be playing me in the movie and Buddy Hackett will be playing Tod. I eat a lot at The Habit in Woodland Hills, so if you can't make the signings, you can always hang out there with your MONK books and I am bound to show up eventually.

UPDATE 8-17-2008: You're not going to believe this, but my brother Tod actually got emails from some furious Mitch Albom fans who thought he was serious about the new book ("The Four Chinese
Gymnasts You Meet In Pre-School") and the movie…and warned him that Albom and Rosie O'Donnell weren't going to be amused by his hoax. It's astonishing that people that dumb actually survive into adulthood. 

Free Books

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I'm going to be at the The Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore  in San Diego on Friday, August 8th at 7 pm to sign my new book MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY alongside my brother Tod, who will be signing his new book, BURN NOTICE: THE FIX.

Anyone who buys a copy of  MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY at the signing will get a free signed, hardcover, first edition of BEYOND THE BEYOND  or MY GUN HAS BULLETS while supplies last.

I'll also be giving away the books at my signings on Saturday, August 16 at Mysteries To Die For (1 pm) in Thousand Oaks, CA and Mystery Bookstore (4 pm) in Westwood, CA.

I hope to see you there!

Monk’s 100th Party

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I just got back from the MONK 100th Episode party at an Italian restaurant in Hollywood. I had a great time catching up with all the writers and meeting some of the guest stars (as well as new semi-regular Hector Elizondo). I brought along my nephew Killian, who doesn’t speak a word of English. He’s in town with us from France for a few weeks and is a big MONK fan. Luckily for him, USA Network president Jeff Wachtel, actress Glenne Headly (who played Stottlemeyer’s wife), and Jason Gray Stanford’sP8030006 girlfriend all spoke French, so he had folks to talk to. He also got to meet the whole cast and have his picture taken with them. On the way out, we all got a bottle of French wine in a “Monk 100th episode” comemorative leather bottle-bag. I let my nephew drink it on the way home (just  kidding, of course). Now I am back at home, working on my 8th Monk novel, which is due in less than 90 days. Ahhhhhh!

Mr. Monk and the Librarians

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The librarians at the Allen County Public Library in Fort Wayne, Indiana have given MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY, and the MONK books, a strong recommendation:

As a librarian, I have a love/hate relationship with television. Okay, I’m lying. I love television. I’m probably not supposed to say that, but I don’t think reading and watching tv are mutually exclusive activities. Case in point– novels based on tv series can help ease the pain when a favorite show is canceled, or tide you over through rerun season. Sometimes the show is better than the books, sometimes the books are better than the show. In the case of the novels based on the television detective series Monk, which airs on the USA Network, the novels are as deliciously good as the show. […] If you’re looking for fast reads with hefty doses of humor, you won’t be disappointed.

Found Money

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It used to be that once a book fell out of print, and the rights reverted back to the author, that was pretty much the end of the line for that particular title. That changed several years back when the Authors Guild  teamed up with iUniverse to launch the “Back in Print” program for previously published books. For no charge to Authors Guild members,  iUniverse scans a copy of the out-of-print book, designs a new cover, and offers it as a print-on-demand paperback with the author getting a 20% royalty from every sale. A lot of authors, including William F. Buckley, Hank Searls, Robert Bausch, Walter Satterthwait, Jerome Doolittle, Tony Fennelly, Lawrence Shames, Don Pendleton, Lawrence Block, Richard Wheeler and yours truly have taken advantage of the program.

The Authors Guild reports that in 2007 alone they sold 46,844 formerly out-of-print titles, accounting for $566,382 in sales and earning authors $99,530 in royalties…or, as I look at it, found money.

I have three out-of-print titles that have been available through the program since 2002. The royalties have steadily dwindled over time. In 2006, I earned $406.24. In 2007, I earned $179.65. So far in 2008, I’ve earned $69.32. Not a lot of cash but it’s better than nothing…and best of all, I don’t have to work for it.

The Mail I Get – Cringe-Inducing Edition

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I got an email today from an author who wanted to convince me that her POD novel was terrific and that I should read it. She wrote:

My book XYZ won a Reviewers Choice in Affaire de
Coeur, five wonderful reviews on Amazon and I’ve
developed a smallish but loyal following who want my next books as soon
as it comes out.

I cringed when I read that. It’s bad enough when an aspiring writer makes the mistake of going to a POD vanity press or having their book published by an amateur POD pseudo-press run by a barely literate, self-published author. But when you promote your book by touting your “five wonderful reviews on Amazon” you only make yourself look like a fool. Those reviews are meaningless.

Don’t get me wrong, they are nice to have, flattering to you personally, and might sway a browsing customer to buy your book. I am grateful for every positive review that I get from readers on Amazon and other online bookselling sites.

But never, ever, EVER use those reader reviews as a selling point to an agent, editor, or reviewer or they will run screaming away from you and write you off forever as a wanna-be.
Nobody in the publishing business cares about five positive reviews on Amazon. Nobody. Getting a 150 positive reviews might attract some attention but even then what really counts are actual sales.

And what, exactly, is a “smallish but loyal following?” Ten people? Fifty? A hundred? Your Mom and her friends around the pool at the retirement home? Again, it’s sales that count, and moving a few dozen books still isn’t going to attract much attention. Nor will a couple of hundred. But a thousand sales will get you noticed. That’s something you can tout…if you can back up the claim.

UPDATE 7-29-08: The author of the email is published by Light Sword Publishing, which is co-owned by the advertising director of Affaire De Coeur. So if all this author has to tout her book is a review from the magazine and “five wonderful reviews” on Amazon (one of which was from *another* Light Sword author), she’d be better off letting her book speak for itself.

S & S E-Grab

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The Authors Guild has sent out an important advisory to its members:

Simon & Schuster has recently sent a one-page letter to many,
perhaps thousands, of authors with unspecified e-book royalty rates in
an attempt to set those rates at 15% of the “catalog retail price” of
the e-book. (This is the typical e-book royalty rate for S&S.) As
with any amendment to a book contract, the Authors Guild advises
caution:

1. Discuss the amendment with your agent or attorney, if you have one.

2. Depending on your existing contract with Simon & Schuster, the
amendment may grant the publisher rights that you’ve otherwise
retained.

3. Be aware that the amendment may affect your ability to obtain a reversion of rights.

In any negotiation regarding e-book royalty rates, we suggest that you
keep your powder dry: try to retain the right to renegotiate e-book
royalty rates. The Authors Guild expects that 15% of the retail list
price will be the low-water mark for e-book royalties. As the e-book
market develops, authors with clout will doubtlessly insist on a more
reasonable share of e-book revenues, and the industry will have to
adapt. One glance at Amazon.com’s home page, which has for months been
ceaselessly promoting its Kindle e-book reader, indicates that day may
be near. For more on Amazon and e-books, see this July 4th article from the San Francisco Chronicle.

Mr. Monk Gets a Nice Review

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Bill Peschel gives MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY a very nice review. He says, in part:

Those who follow Lee Goldberg’s life on his blog know that he spent
time in Germany filming a TV show, so it’s natural he’d set his next
Monk book there. And he uses his experiences well, weaving in the
details you’d pick up if you were a tourist. It’s those little touches
that give the story flavor, such as the description of an inn that was
built in the 1400s, or describing the free magazines, including
Playboy, that can be picked up at German airports.

As for the mystery, it is competently set up and sprung, but, really,
the fun lies more in watching Monk at work, baffling his police
partners and reacting to the chaos around him, whether its attempting
to navigate the trails in the German forest or visiting an unusual
resort for outcasts.

Thanks, Bill!

Mr. Monk and the 100th Episode

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Cast cake
My daughter Maddie and I went down to the MONK set at Paramount Studios to have lunch with my friend David Breckman, one of the writer/producers on the show (and the brother of series creator Andy Breckman). While we were there, they cut the 100th episode cake and had a little press conference for the entertainment media. I ran into Jeff Wachtel, the president of the USA Network, and congratulated him on the great ratings for the second season premiere of BURN NOTICE. He smiled and said “Thank you, we see it as a two-hour commercial for your brother’s book.” I’m sure Tod will be glad to know that.

I took a picture of Maddie at Stottlemeyer’s desk, gave her a tour of the back-lot, and I headed home to get back to work on the 8th MONK book…Maddie stottlemeyer1