Film and Television

A Terrific Book

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While Victor Gischler and my brother Tod squabble over who
came up with The World’s Worst Interview feature, and who, indeed, does it the worst, I’m going to buck the trend by offering a serious Q&A.

Chris AbbottTf_pitch is a veteran TV writer/producer ("Magnum PI," "BL Stryker," etc.) and followed Bill & I as executive producer of DIAGNOSIS MURDER. She’s written a wonderful and entertaining new book called TEN MINUTES TO THE PITCH that’s full of great advice and memorable
anecdotes.  If that wasn’t reason enough to buy it, all the proceeds benefit the Writers Guild Foundation for its literacy library programs.

I’ll be posting a Q&A with her here in a few days. In the mean time, she will be signing her book at the Barnes & Noble at the Grove on April 13th at 7:30pm.  Joining her will be fellow writers Charlie Hauck (Frasier) and Eric Tuchman (Early Edition). During the signing, several lucky attendees will have the opportunity to pitch and re-pitch their  own ideas to the trio of writers/producers.

It’s the Script, Stupid

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The single, most important aspect of a movie is the script. You can have all the best actors and technology available and it means nothing if the story and the dialogue are crap.  That is the undeniable lesson of movies like SKY CAPTAIN and, more recently SIN CITY.

I saw SIN CITY today, and while I marveled at the technological achievement and the look of the film, after a few minutes that excitement and fascination evaporated and crushing boredom took over. The movie is, in a word, awful.  Why? Because the story, the dialogue, and the characters  are terrible.  The narrative is a mess, the characters are non-existant, and there isn’t a single real emotion to hold on to.  The writing itself is wince-inducingly bad.

Anyone who doubts the importance of the writer to a film, of a strong script, a well-constructed story and credible characters you can believe  (notice I don’t say "like" or "identify with")  should be tied to a chair and forced to watch SIN CITY (that’s what it would take to make me see it again). 

You can hire the biggest names on the SAG membership rolls, fill every inch of the screen with amazing effects and gore, and pummel the audience with blaring sound and thunderous music, but none of that will hide the absense of a good script.

That’s one reason why I loved THE INCREDIBLES so much… it was a great movie with big effects, a strong story,  wonderful dialogue and characters so credible it didn’t matter that they weren’t even portrayed by flesh-and-blood actors.  Not only did it look good, and sound good,
but most important of all, it was well written.

It’s all about the script.

It’s why old shows like  STAR TREK, I LOVE LUCY, and GUNSMOKE hold up so well today… it doesn’t matter if the show is in black-and-white,  or that Dodge City is  clearly on a soundstage,  or that the consoles on the bridge of the Enterprise look less sophisticated than an 8-track tape deck. It’s the writing and the acting that carries the shows…and that, ultimately, is what endures long after the "wow"-factor of the film-making technology has worn off and become dated. Which, in the case of SKY CAPTAIN and SIN CITY, is about five minutes into the films.

SIN CITY is a technological achievement, and a poor excuse for a movie.

Gunsmoke: One Man’s Justice

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Since I’m wallowing in my TV geekness today (see my earlier post on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA),  here’s a heads-up on another TV revival to watch for…

GunsmokedvdsThe  Western Channel is running GUNSMOKE: ONE MAN’S JUSTICE this week… the final GUNSMOKE revival/sequel movie and, to date, James Arness’ final performance.  It’s the only one of the five GUNSMOKE movies that’s unavailable on video or DVD and the only one I haven’t seen. I’m eagerly looking forward to it… with both Tivos primed to record it (in case there are any screw ups). The  previous GUNSMOKE movies are all terrific and the first three are available seperately, or together in a combo pack, on DVD.

(UPDATE 4-8-05: I justed watched ONE MAN’S JUSTICE and it sucked. On the other hand, RETURN TO DODGE, LAST APACHE,  TO THE LAST MAN, and THE LONG RIDE are good stuff. THE LONG RIDE is also unavailable on DVD)  Gunsmoke2_

And speaking of GUNSMOKE, Joseph West’s latest tie-in novel will be available later this month.

Battlestar Galactica

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The season finale of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA was terrific… hands down the best science fiction show on TV in decades…and easily one of the best dramas of any genre on TV this season. It certainly packs more punch per hour than THE WEST WING or LAW AND ORDER have in years.  Watching the show makes me feel like a kid again…it’s one of the few programs I look forward to with fannish glee. It’s also one of the few shows on TV today that’s pure entertainment.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA may also be the first TV remake, on TV or the big screen, that’s far superior to the series that inspired it.  I wasn’t wowed by the initial miniseries, or the first episode or two, but the series got better and better with each episode, ending in a season finale that was exciting, surprising, funny, dramatic and a heck of a lot of fun to watch.

I can’t wait for the new episodes in July…

(PS – How can anybody be clamoring for a loyal remake of the original series after watching this show??)

Dusty’s Trail

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It’s amazing what you can find on DVD nowadays… you can own the complete series of DUSTY’S TRAIL, all 21 abysmal half-hour episodes of the 1973 syndicated sitcom starring Bob Denver, for just $10 ($4.99 for the 17 episode set plus $4.99 for a seperately released DVD with the first four episodes).Dustystrail 

DUSTY’S TRAIL was a frontier rip-off of GILLIGAN’S ISLAND, about a wagon train lost in the west.  Forrest Tucker took on the "Skipper" role while Denver basically played Gilligan all over again.  They even had a wealthy guy and his wife, a showgirl and.. well, you get the picture. Sherwood Schwartz, the creator/exec producer of GILLIGAN, was the comedic mastermind behind this one as well.

Being a TV geek, I can’t get over the idea that I can own an entire series, even a crappy one, for ten bucks.  The mind boggles at what other complete packages of short-lived, obscure series might show up on DVD.

Already I own on DVD the complete series of NERO WOLFE,  the original STAR TREK, the British series COUPLING and KAVANAGH QC… as well as seasons of ALL IN THE FAMILY, GREATEST AMERICAN HERO, CRIME STORY, THE SHIELD, UFO, NIP/TUCK, SEINFELD,  MARY TYLER MOORE, SPACE 1999,  ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, SOPRANOS, DEADWOOD,  BOOMTOWN, I SPY,  MONK, SLIDERS,  COLUMBO, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, DICK VAN DYKE SHOW, and MAGNUM PI. Granted, those shows cost more than $10, but still… I own them. For a guy who has every TV Guide that’s come into his hands since 1970, this is a big deal.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go light some candles and kneel in front of my poster of Heather Locklear.

Who is the Tall Dark Stranger There?

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Maverick_logEd Gorman has been pondering, and remembering,  my friend writer/producer Roy Huggins,  creator of such classic TV series as MAVERICK, THE FUGITIVE, 77 SUNSET STRIP and (with Steve Cannell) THE ROCKFORD FILES. I contributed a few memories of my own experiences with Roy to Ed’s blog, as well as a short piece on MAVERICK. If you’re interested in a little TV history, you might want to mosey over there to Ed’s blog and check out the posts.

Gone Baby Gone

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Variety reports that Ben Affleck will write and direct, but not act in, a feature film adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s book GONE BABY GONE.  The movie, which will be released by Disney, will shoot in Boston this fall and could be the start of a "franchise." The book is one of a series that Lehane, back before MYSTIC RIVER, wrote about a team of private eyes.

Proving that TV Series Bibles are Pointless

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The NY Times reports that the producers of 24, LOST,  THE OC, and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES have no clue how their seasons will end.  As if you didn’t know. We know they don’t know. The presidents of the networks seem to know it, too (if you believe what they say in the article). The only people who don’t seem in-the-loop on this are development executives, who often want to know before the pilot is written every detail of the hero’s life…who all his relatives are and what they do… and who is best friend was in preschool. But the fact is…none of that matters. And even if the writers tell you, it’s bullshit. They’re gonna toss the bible as soon as they get the series order.

After the
network ordered the first full season of "24," the writers presented a
huge map of the entire first season. The blueprint, however, didn’t
endure. "We used to obsess over that in Year 1," Mr. Cochran said. "You
know, Oh, God, let’s story out as many episodes as we can. We always
got in a lot of trouble with that because if you try it, you end up
locking yourselves into things that don’t really work and it gets
really contrived."

After his four seasons of "24," Mr. Cochran endorses the same approach:
save big decisions till the end of the season. The writers and the
audience, he insists, will then enjoy the benefits of a looser process.
"At the beginning of the season, we certainly don’t know," he said.
"Halfway through, we certainly don’t know. As we’re writing episode 16
or 17, we start thinking in a very general sort of way, where we’d like
to end the season."

It’s the same on shows with a far-less restrictive franchise.

"Lost" and "The O.C.," along with "24" and "Desperate Housewives,"
are high-profile serials with substantial, devoted audiences, but no
one – not writers, not network executives and not viewers – knows
exactly how they will end their seasons. Their writers, like others in
Hollywood, are trying to devise the perfect season finale – with little
time to spare.  According to interviews with writers from all four shows, their finales are unshot, and mostly unwritten.

So forget about "bibles." They’re pointless. What counts is a strong pilot script and a showrunner with a vision.

SeaQuest Meets Baywatch?

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I worked on SeaQuest, with an enormously phallic submarine, Roy Scheider, and a talking dolphin. I also worked on Baywatch, with an enormous collection of fake boobs, Monte Markham, and a talking David Hasselhoff.  So you can understand my miss-givings when I read in the NY Post that,  in a union spawned in hell, the two are coming together.  Steven Spielberg, exec producer of  SeaQuest, is bringing Baywatch to the big screen.  Save yourself while there is still time.

Remember HUNTER?

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It’s not often you see a review of a 15-year-old rerun airing in syndication…but this week, Entertainment Weekly spotlights an episode of HUNTER written by my buddy Morgan Gendel.

This 1990 Hunter ep is titled "Unfinished Business" but I call it "the one where
Hunter and McCall have all the sex." After six years of stake-outs, innuendo,
and lingering looks over dead bodies, Rick and Dee Dee finally get it on in a
series of positively Bergman-esque flashbacks– and a shiveringly unresolved
ending. Mulder and Scully got nothin’ on this heat. Truly, the crap cop show’s
finest hour. Episode: A. Series: C+. TVLand, March 25th at 1 pm.

I’m sure it was the best episode. Morgan has a knack for writing the episode everybody remembers…no matter what series he’s on.  For instance, his STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION episode "The Inner Light" was an instant classic, a Hugo-award winning script that every other STAR TREK series felt duty-bound to ripoff at least once, and sometimes twice (most recently on the ENTERPRISE episode "Twilight").