Television

Law & Goyim

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My friend author Rochelle Krich is steaming mad over a LAW AND ORDER episode a couple weeks back that portayed orthodox Jews in a less than flattering light.

We have an Orthodox Jewish rabbi dispensing unOrthodox theology and upholding the fiction behind the family chumash.

We have Eric, a greedy Jew who engineers the desecration of a Jewish book that results in someone’s death.

We have Barry, an Orthodox Jewish killer, all-around
louse, and frequenter of lap dancers who recants his testimony against
Eric when he learns the chumash isn’t "the one."

My father lied to me, he says. It’s all a lie.

"It"?

Greed, brazen immorality, hypocrisy, lies.

According to Law & Order, that’s Orthodox Judaism.

I saw the episode and it didn’t offend my Jewish sensibilities, mainly because I’m a bad Jew and LAW AND ORDER portrays everybody as immortal, hypocritical, and dishonest. It’s a murder mystery and every character is a suspect. For that to be possible, everyone has to have a motive. It isn’t the job of the writers to portray every racial, political, economic, cultural and religious group in a positive and accurate light — in fact, they do the opposite and on a weekly basis. They didn’t single out Orthodox Jews — if they had, then perhaps I would share my friend Rochelle’s anger.

The Single Greatest Idea for a TV Series EVER!

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I got this email from Dan yesterday:

Lee, I just came across your blog.  I know you are a busy person so I will keep
this short and sweet…

IDEA: GOOGLE GAMESHOW (I own this
domain)

1. Perhpas it wouldn’t be with google, but google is so hot, you
would think they would be interested in this
2. Essentially, this idea would
be an interactive tv gameshow/reality gameshow
3. People can play along
online for prizes
4. We would add a reality portion to this game show with
contests extending weeks at a time

(I would hope to create a little
craze like Millionaire/Reality TV Shows…even though they are on the down
slide)

These points don’t explain much…but from what you heard, does
this sound intriguing?

That is a brilliant idea for a show, Dan.  So innovative, fresh and unique. It’s got incredible potential.  It’s even better than my great TV show idea:

IDEA: MURDER COPS  (I registered the idea with the WGA).

1) It’s about two homicide detectives who are very different from each other.  (This could be in any city…though NY and Las Vegas are getting kind of overdone).
2) They solve really puzzling murders ala CSI and BLUE’S CLUES.
3) The stories are very twisty and clever.
4) It’s shot in a cool and innovative way with lots of style.
4) I see a big TV star like David Duchovny in one of the parts, maybe Beyonce, too.

(I would hope to turn it into a successful franchise like CSI or LAW & ORDER…even though there are, like, three each of those shows already).

Dan goes on to ask:

Any quick ideas on how a treatment should be written for a show like this?

Yes, Dan, I have a few. In general, it’s nice to actually have a series concept in mind before writing a treatment. Unfortunately, you don’t have a concept. You barely even have an idea.  You’d like to do a game show that people at home can play along with and that is tied in some way to Google. Come to think of it, that’s not even substantial enough to qualify as a notion.

Secondly, you may own the domain "Google Gameshow," but I suspect you don’t own Google. It’s not wise to try and sell an idea that’s based on an underlying property or trademark you don’t actually own.

Third, you obviously have no experience as a TV writer or producer,  so I doubt anyone would be interested in seriously considering your idea.

Fourth, why are you asking me about a gameshow treatment? I have never written or produced a gameshow. How would I know the answer to your question?

Fifth, if  you have an idea for a TV show, it’s probably not wise to email other writers about it, especially those with blogs who regularly ridicule complete strangers who email them their ideas for TV shows.

Spec-tacular

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Comedy writer Ken Levine gives some wonderful advice on his must-read blog about writing that perfect sitcom spec:

Don’t view the show from the perspective of a fly. I once read a WINGS spec as
seen by a buzzing fly. I offer this as the first example because I know so many
young writers fall into this same trap.

Don’t put yourself into the show
and make yourself the lead character. I once read a CHEERS where Alan had more
lines than Sam & Diane combined. Alan? Who’s Alan? Alan was one of the
extras. And so he remained.

And just because people tell you you look
like Debra Messing doesn’t mean you should write a WILL & GRACE entitled
“Grace’s Sister”. If I get a script with a photo attached I know I’m in trouble.

Don’t hand write your script, no matter how good your penmanship. Send
your spec in a UCLA blue book and you’ll get an F.

Don’t invent a
format.

Know the characters. I read a spec MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW where
Mary wondered what to get her husband for his birthday. Her “husband”???!

Some other things to avoid, at least in drama specs:  the hero’s evil double, the reappearance of long-lost relatives, or the hero getting amensia, going blind, or getting critically injured. It’s also not a good idea to write a spin-off pilot for one of the secondary characters.

Do I Write Scripts or Advertising Copy?

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More and more commercials are creeping into the narrative of TV shows. Here’s an example mentioned in Wired magazine:

The use of product placements has increased 84 percent on television in the last
year, according to the WGA’s call for regulations. "There is no clear line
separating a TV show from an advertisement anymore," said Carrie McLaren, editor
of Stay Free
magazine.

In a recent episode of the NBC series Medium, writers had to
work the movie Memoirs of a Geisha into the dialogue three times
because of a deal the network made with Sony earlier in the season. They even
had the characters go on a date to an early screening of the movie and bump into
friends who had just viewed Geisha to tell them how good it was.

It’s one thing to have James Bond drive a BMW  (or, going back a few decades, Efrem Zimbalist Jr. drive a new Ford around D.C. landmarks each season during the end credits of THE FBI), or Monk using a particular brand of disinfectant wipe, but it’s quite another to create whole scenes purely for the purpose of pushing a particular product. The MEDIUM example strike me as particular egregious…and something a writer should be additionally compensated for.

What to Spec?

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With so few comedies on the air, what sitcom should an aspiring writer spec as a sample of his or her talent? Veteran comedy writer/producer Ken Levine tackles that question this weekend on his blog.

Select a
current show you like and think you know the best. “Current” is the key word
here. Once a show is cancelled the shelf life for your spec is about six months.
So don’t start that ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT you’ve been developing. And I hope you
didn’t pour a lot of time and effort into a spec KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL. When
RAYMOND went off the air everyone was sad but show runners. No more reading
fifty RAYMONDS a day when trying to staff! And for that same reason, please let
this be WILL & GRACE’S last year! The good news is if you’ve got a spec
FRASIER you can just change the names and send it out as an OUT OF PRACTICE. And
of course you never have to worry with a SIMPSONS because they will go on making
new episodes forever…

…Unfortunately, there are not a lot of great shows out there at the moment. What
I think we’ll see this year is everybody writing a MY NAME IS EARL. It’s clearly
the best of the new crop. The only caution I give you is that EVERYBODY will be
writing one. If that doesn’t concern you (or you’ve written it already) I say go
for it. If it does then some suitable alternates might be SCRUBS, TWO AND A HALF
MEN, EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS, or HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (a far cry from the CHEERS,
TAXI, MASH, COSBY days).

The Runaway Train

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Corey Miller, a story editor on CSI: MIAMI, has an excellent post on his CBS blog this week about the pressures of series production.

Our shooting schedule lasts ten months out of the year. The writers
work eleven. The writers spend the month of June spitballing stories,
thinking about possible character arcs, and honing in on breaking the
first few episodes. We try to get as ahead as we can during this
period, because once shooting starts, there’s no turning back. We have
to have a new script completed every eight working days until the end
of the season. And we’re doing twenty-five.

As far as when the episodes air in relation to when they were shot, there is no pat
answer. It really depends on a number of things. This season, we began
filming our first episode on July 18. But it didn’t air until September
19. So there were two months in between. The episode that I’m doing
that shoots on December 7th is tentatively scheduled to air on January
30th. So you can see how that window has shrunk a bit, the deeper we
get into the season.

It’s all due to that pesky train, because once it is in motion, it’s a runaway.

He uses the runaway train metaphor and for good reason.  When I’m producing a series, I inevitably have the nightmare that I’m on a train, shoveling scripts into the boiler to keep the engine going…and that I just can’t keep up.

Your Great Idea for a Pilot

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My friend Javier Grillo-Marxuach, supervising producer of LOST,  has a wonderful, brutally honest post on his blog about his experience writing and producing pilots. The post is nearly a year old, but the wisdom and bite of his story hasn’t dimmed.

so anyway – pilots. the one question i hear most is “i have a great
idea for a pilot, what do I have to do to get it see/produced/on the
air?”

the stock answer to this is “move to los angeles and spend
ten years making a name for yourself as a television producer with an
established track record that will make a studio and network believe
that they should trust you with forty-four million dollars of their
money to produce twenty-two hours of television.”

however,
things have changed in television, and now it is easier than ever to
get a pilot on the air without establishing a track record as a
producer…

…and I say that in the same way one might say “now
it’s easier than ever to put an orbital mind-control laser in a
geosynchronous orbit over your mother-in-law.”

You’ve got to read the rest. It will make you weep.

How do I become a television writer if I don’t have any contacts?

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I get asked this question a lot…but it’s disingenuous, since I’m a
TV writer/producer and whoever is asking me that is really asking me to either read
their script or to invite them in to pitch. So, theoretically, they already
know somebody in the business.
 
They’re luckier than I was when I got started. I didn’t know
anybody in the TV industry. But I got in. How did I do it? Everybody’s story is
unique. Most of those stories, however, share one common element. You have to
put yourself in the right place to get your lucky break. And it’s easier than
you think. 

The first thing you have to do is learn your craft. Take
classes, preferably taught by people who have had some success as TV writers.
There’s no point taking a class from someone who isn’t an experienced TV writer
themselves. 

You’d think that would be common sense, but you’d be
astonished how many TV courses are taught by people who don’t know the first
thing about writing for television or who, through a fluke, sold a story to Manimal twenty years ago and think that
qualifies them to take your hundred bucks. Even more surprising is how many
desperate people shell out money to take courses from instructors who should be
taking TV writing courses themselves.

There’s another reason to take a TV writing course besides
learning the basics of the craft. If you’re the least bit likeable, you’ll make
a few friends among the other classmates. This is good, because you’ll have
other people you can show your work to. This is also good because somebody in
the class may sell his or her first script before you do… and suddenly you’ll
have a friend in the business. 

Many of my writer/producer friends today are writers I knew
back when I was in college, when we were all dreaming of breaking into TV some
day. 

A writer we hired on staff on the first season of Missing was in a Santa Monica screenwriters group… and was the
first member of her class to get a paying writing gig. Now her friends in the
class suddenly had a friend on a network TV show who could share her knowledge,
give them practical advice and even recommend them to her new agent and the
writer/producers she was working with.

Another route is to try and get a job as a writer/producer’s
assistant on an hour-long drama. Now only will you get a meager salary, but you
will see how a show works from the inside. You’ll read lots of scripts and
revisions and, simply by observation, get a graduate course in TV writing. More
important, you’ll establish relationships with the writers on the show and the
freelancers who come through the door. Many of today’s top TV producers were writer/producer
assistants once. All of the assistants I’ve had have gone on to become working
TV writers themselves… and not because I gave them a script assignment or
recommended them for one. I didn’t do either.

 The first step towards getting into pitch a TV producer for
an episodic writing assignment is to write an episodic teleplay on spec.

Read more

The NBC Mystery Movie Channel

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The Futon Critic reports that NBC/Universal is launching a digital/high-def cable channel called Sleuth that will air "classic" Universal detective shows and movies 24 hours a day. We’re talking shows like COLUMBO, BANACEK, KNIGHTRIDER, IT TAKES A THIEF, HEC RAMSEY, DRAGNET,  ADAM-12, McMILLAN AND WIFE, NAME OF THE GAME, MIAMI VICE and GRIFF, to name a few. The channel will launch in January on the Time Warner cable system.