Back from Germany

I returned from Cologne late last night. It was a great experience working with the German writer/producers and it looks like I may be going back soon to continue what I started.

On the 7 1/2 hour flight from Dusseldorf to LA, I worked for a bit on DM #8, which is due this week, and watched BASIC INSTINCT 2, which was a horrendeous piece of shit (except for the production design, which was great. You know an erotic movie is bad when you’re appreciating the locations and sets and not the people who are fucking).

On my flight from NY to LA, I sat across from a gregarious and very friendly rap star named Flavor Flave or Flave Flavor or Flaky Flavor. I don’t know, I’m all jet-lagged and out-of-it today. He wore a wall clock around his neck, which I thought was odd and rather uncomfortable (and he had spares in his carry-on bag). But he was a nice guy and seemed to have boundless energy.

Next to me was a Hassidic Jew who wore the big, heavy black overcoat, the hat, the whole thing…he smelled like ten men’s locker rooms. He was pleasant, but isn’t there such a thing as Kosher deodorant?

Behind me, was this young girl, in her late teens or early 20s. At one point in the flight, she took out a fancy camera from her bag and began scrolling through some pictures. The man next to her, who was perhaps in his late 40s or early 50s, asked if she was a photographer. She said she was an aspiring one, and that she’d just spent a few weeks in Paris taking pictures, and that she’d interned at some newspaper or magazine, the name of which I didn’t catch. He then introduced himself — I didn’t get his name, but apparently he’s some famous photographer for magazines like Esquire, Vanity Fair, etc.  She knew who he was, of course, and nearly wet herself in surprise.  So for the next six hours, this kind man gave her a tutorial in photography, answering her questions, showing her examples, reviewing her photos, and giving her advice in a very professorial sort of way (he  mentioned at one point that he’s taught before).

I didn’t understand all the stuff they were talking about, but I certainly picked up on her excitement at this opportunity and her respect for the man she was seated with. I tried to imagine what it must have been like for that girl.  It would be as if I was 18 or 19, got on a plane and happened to be seated next to Larry McMurtry or Stephen J. Cannell. Of course, this sort of thing is far more likely to happen in First Class than coach.

At the end of the flight, she thanked him, saying that never in her wildest dreams did she think she’d ever meet him. He said it must have been meant to happen, gave her his card and wished her luck in her career.  I thought it was great. I only eavesdropped on the whole thing, but I felt her excitement and I was struck by how attentive and nice the man was (there was no hint of hitting on her or anything like that, by the way. He was very fatherly and polite).

Tonight, I have my class at UCLA and a mountain of mail to catch up on… not to mention a book to finish writing!

Greetings from Germany

Whenever I go into those airport bookstores, I always wonder who buys those Penthouse and Playboy magazines. Now I know. On the flight from JFK to Dusseldorf, there was an elegantly dressed  German business man in the first classs row beside me casually browsing the Penthouse pictures and Playboy centerfold during the flight, leaving the magazines open in front of him as the stewardesses served him his drinks and snacks. The stewardesses seemed unfazed by it but I found it pretty bizarre.

It’s my third day here in Germany teaching the American approach to TV writing and "showrunning" to a dozen local writer/producers. They are eager, open-minded and enthusiastic to learn how we do things. For them, the four-act structure and the notion of a series "franchise" is a revelation. We’ve been screening episodes of American TV programs and analyzing the structure together of the stories and the overall series concepts. Today, we’re going to look at some of their programs and explore how the four-act structure, and a clearly articulated franchise built on character-based conflict could improve the shows they are already working on. I’ve been having a great time and eating like a moose. At night, I’ve been hammering away at my eighth DM novel, trying to get it done to make my deadline. The temperatures here are in the high 90s and the Germans are really suffering — they aren’t used to this kind of heat.  It was 118 at home when I left, so for me this is almost winter.

Where Am I?

Sorry I’ve been scarce around here lately… and it’s only going to get worse.

I’ve been busy rushing to finish my 8th (and probably last) DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel which is entitled THE LAST WORD and is due August 1. I’ve also been teaching a TV writing class two nights a week at UCLA (and having a blast doing it) and an on-line class at Writers University (with Bill Rabkin). 

And on Monday, I’m heading off to Germany, where I will be teaming up for a week with Bill Finkelstein (LAW & ORDER, L.A. LAW) to teach established TV writer/producers how to develop and run "American style" episodic dramas. I don’t know how much Internet access I will have… or time to post… while I am in Germany, but I will try to check in here.

I’ve also been writing my Natalie Blogs, giving some thought to my fourth MONK novel and working on a bunch of TV series ideas that Bill Rabkin and I are going to be pitching around town when I get back.

But at least I update my blog more often than my friend Gregg Hurwitz does.

Mr. Monk Goes to the Well

Chris Well has given MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE a warm review. Here’s an excerpt:

Novelist (and TV writer) Lee Goldberg does a remarkable job of
capturing the wit and spark of the series, while exploring the
possibilities that come with a different medium. The story is told from
the point of view of Natalie, adding more layers to the narrative than
possible in a regular episode.

Thanks, Chris!

Thrilling Photos

Twolees_1
Author M. Diane Vogt took these Thrillerfest pictures of me with Lee Child and my daughter Maddie with R.L. Stine and kindly passed them along (Click on the photos for larger images). Maddieandstine
The scariest thing about RL Stine was that he was wearing all-black when it was 110 degrees outside. He probably lost 30 pounds just walking from his car to the convention center.

A Bookstore That Monk Would Never Visit

P6280127_1 We just arrived in Phoenix for Thrillerfest. On the way, we stopped in Quartzite, AZ for a hamburger and discovered the most unusual bookstore I’ve ever seen. It’s called Reader’s Oasis  and the gregarious proprietor, Paul Winer, likes to walk around the store nude. Naturally, Paul had a large selection of my books. These are my people.

I think Paul has stumbled on the perfect way for independent bookstores to compete with the big box book stores.  This idea could really catch on in L.A… if the salesclerks were all Baywatch babes.

Speaking of babes, there’s some kind of sorority or cheerleader convention going on in this very same hotel. I know some single thriller writers who are going to be very busy trying to thrill these other conventioneers. P6280128

Perhaps because of the large crowd, we lucked into an amazing, free upgrade. We are staying in a huge, third floor suite overlooking the golf course. It has a living room, full kitchen, and a giant shaded patio. We may never leave the room.

Out to Lunch

Tomorrow, I am heading off with my family to Phoenix for five days to attend the Thrillerfest convention. I don’t know if I’ll be blogging much, if at all, while I’m away. And since my brother Tod has a blog of his own now, I don’t have a guest-blogger taking my place. So don’t be surprised if things are a little quiet around here until next week.

Beyond the Beyond Sale

Stand_beyond
As I mentioned here before
, I’ve got hundreds of copies of my book BEYOND THE BEYOND that I need to unload to create room in my garage for my Mom’s stuff. In the last few days, I’ve donated books to the New Orleans Public Library as well as Better World Books, among others. But I still have plenty left.

I’ll be glad to send you a signed copy for $9.99, which includes media mail postage to anywhere in the United States. 

BEYOND THE BEYOND is about ex-cop Charlie Willis, who handles “special security” for Pinnacle Pictures. His job: to protect the studio and its stars, to stop scandals before they explode, to the
keep the peace in the land of make-believe. How he does it is up to him. In this book, a sequel to “My Gun Has Bullets,” he has to protect the president of a fledgling TV network from an assassin, an A-list screenwriter from his homicidal agent, and the cast of a cult TV series from its legion of rabid,
homicidal fans.

Here’s a sampling of the critical praise for the book:

“Goldberg uses just about everything he can think of to send up the studio system, fandom, Star Trek, Trekkies, agents, actors… you name it, he’ll make you laugh about it.” Analog

"An outrageously entertaining take on the loathsome folkways of contemporary
showbiz,"Kirkus Reviews

“Mr. Goldberg has an observant eye and a wicked pen!” Washington  Times

Beyond the Beyond reads like a modern-day Alice in Wonderland set against the venal world of the TV industry. It’s wonderfully revealing and uncannily accurate,” Vancouver Sun

"Stingingly funny! B+" Entertainment Weekly

"Some of the easily recognizable actors, agents and producers who are mercilessly ribbed may find
it hard to crack a smile at the author’s gag-strewn prose. Likewise those seekers after politically correct entertainment. But the rest of us should have no trouble….the novel’s satiric slant is strong enough to have an effigy of Goldberg beamed into outer space at the next Star Trek convention," Los Angeles Times

And yet, there were still 600 copies that didn’t sell. Even with a giant penis on the cover. Can you imagine that? If you’d like to buy one of them for $9.99,  just click on the button below:




What Should I Do With Hundreds of TV Guides?

My Mom is moving to a smaller place close to the beach… so I am cleaning out my garage to give her some storage space. And I have come to the painful realization that it’s time to get rid of my 100s of  TV GUIDES. I don’t have the time or patience to scan each cover and sell’em individually on eBay… so I am coming to you, my loyal readers, for suggestions on what to do with them.  Is there a library I could donate them to, perhaps?  And while you’re at it, have you got any ideas on what I should do with:

  • 600 copies of BEYOND THE BEYOND?
  • 100s of publicity and set photos from movie & TV press kits? (the kits themselves are long gone)
  • A few hundred issues of STARLOG magazine?

I’ve got four weeks until she moves her stuff into my garage…

Hollywood & Crime

Hollywood
Here’s  sneak peek at the rough cover for HOLLYWOOD AND CRIME, the new anthology edited by the prolific Robert Randisi (author of over 400 novels!). My contribution to this anthology, which comes out in February,  is a short story entitled "Jack Webb’s Star." My friends Max Allan Collins, Stuart Kaminsky, Michael Connolly, Paul Guyot, Dick Lochte, Gary Phillips and Gar Haywood are just a few of the other authors who have contributed stories, all of which feature at least one scene at the corner of Hollywood & Vine (Les Roberts, whose name is featured on the rough cover, unfortunately has had to bow out).