My Family

Book Burning

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I’ve been so caught up doing  my movie, that I have fallen way behind on everything…and missed  my brother Tod’s Jewcy column in late May on the Kansas City bookstore that burned it’s entire stock of books as, the store owner  says, a "a funeral pyre for thought in America today" and as "a wakeup call to all who value books and ideas." My brother wrote:

If [the bookstore owners] don’t see the hypocrisy in their actions, perhaps they need only to look down the road a few miles at the Blue Valley School District, where debates raged over appropriate titles being offered to students, prompting the formation of the PABBIS-like ClassKC.org (Citizen for Literary Standards in Schools), a group with their own stringent ideas about literacy. If burning 20,000 books for the cause of literacy is an act of art, how does that art change if the belief system of the group changes? I have no doubt that [the bookstore owners] love books, just as I have no doubt that many of the parents who comprise ClassKC.org love books (or at least the Book), and thus I wonder: If the action is the same, does it matter what the cause is?  If ClassKC.org hosted a book burning in the name of literacy awareness in the schools of Blue Valley, too, the same books would burn.

The bigger question is… what the hell is going on in Kansas City?

Journal Revolution

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1581809956_01__sclzzzzzzz_v22503957 JOURNAL REVOLUTION, the new book by my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, is now available for pre-order on Amazon. It’s the follow-up to their best-selling debut VISUAL CHRONICLES, which landed them a six minute segment on THE VIEW:

Journal enthusiasts of all levels will learn how to cut through the daily clutter in their minds to access deeper emotions, creatively express a wide range of moods and boldly record their deepest secrets. The authors’ honest humor and extreme affirmation will entertain and reassure the reader as they participate in fun, easy projects such as: · Me: UNdecorated: Revel in your uncensored thoughts by using paint, ink, papers and more to convey your edgiest feelings–the `you’ your parents may not know! · Save the Date: Use a calendar to create a vibrant visual journal that embraces even your seemingly mundane days. · Fauxlaroids: Journaling on Polaroids and other photos. · The Writing’s on the Wall: Decorating with journaled ephemera, and creative ways to frame it.

Vicious Lies…and more than a little truth

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Vigilante1_1
I just stumbled on this old Las Vegas Mercury column my brother Tod wrote about the time I dragged him and my sister Linda to a science fiction convention in a horribly misguided attempt to sell copies of my book .357 VIGILANTE. A lot of his column is, um, fictionalized…but it doesn’t matter because it’s very funny:

  "It takes place in a futuristic L.A.," I said to the man in the "V" uniform who’d stopped to handle the book.

  "Yeah? Are there aliens?"

  "Only illegal ones," I said. When I was 14, I thought this was a pretty funny thing to say.

  "I only read books with real aliens in them," he said, setting the book down.

  "You’re an idiot," my sister said from behind her magazine. It was the first time Linda had spoken for at least an hour.

  "Pardon me?" the man said.

  "You said you only read books with `real aliens’ in them and I said that you’re an idiot," Linda said, still not looking up.

  "You’re very rude," he said.

  "’V’  was canceled," Linda said, "just FYI."

He forgot to mention in the column that both he and Linda contracted chicken pox at the convention. I came out unscathed. My brother and sister, sadly, were emotionally scarred for life.

“Oh, my naughty love, Tod thought. Where could you be?”

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My Brother Tod is having lots of fun messing with the fanfic crowd over at Fandom Wank:

Just wanted to pop in to say that, no matter how much you hate Lee or
me, I’ve enjoyed reading all of this and several other posts beneath
this one. You guys are exceptionally funny. That you point out the
general fucktardery of your particular world is something I can get
behind. I’m hooked. Now, will someone write something about me where
I’m involved with Dave Navarro, Carmen Elektra and a dagget from the
original BSG? Seriously. You write it, I’ll put it on my blog. Just
make me skinnier and more handsome than I am.

And they’ve done it.  Tod is brilliant.

They Hate Me, They Really Really Hate Me

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My brother Tod stumbled on a seething horde of  people who really, really hate me and he couldn’t be happier about it.

They are fucking hysterical. I mean this. I laughed my ass off reading
about their hatred of Lee, their dubious thoughts on me (they are
particularly upset with my poor grammar and word choice and misogyny,
which is basically what Wendy is upset with me about on a fairly
regular basis, but someone liked "Simplify" which thrilled me, as that
is, and always has been, my favorite story)  and then their rants on
other topics happening in and around fandom. I spent about thirty
minutes reading this website and I about pissed myself. I’ve actually
bookmarked it.

UPDATE (2-19-2007): Tod only scraped the surface. There’s much more Lee-hating to enjoy.

You are Art

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My sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods were interviewed this week by the
Santa Clarita Valley Signal. It’s not The View (where they recently were guests), but every little bit helps.

Expression and individuality were coin of the realm in the universe
where Dinino and Woods grew up. Their father Alan Goldberg was a
newscaster for KPIX Channel 2 in Northern California and a documentary
filmmaker, and their mother, Janice Curran, is a reporter for The
Desert Sun in Palm Springs. Dinino was a journalist for Newsweek on
Campus. Both brothers, Lee Goldberg and Tod Goldberg, are writers. "In
our family, if you’re not published by the time you’re 40, you’re
kicked out," said Woods.

Links A-Go-Go

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I’ve been away in New York for a few days at the Mystery Writers  of America board meeting and am just now catching up on my favorite blogs. Ordinarily, I’d build whole posts around some of the stuff I’ve found…but I’m too lazy. So you will have to see for yourself what Emmy Award-winning writer Ken Levine has to say about Aaron Sorkin’s dig that he wasn’t a "real" comedy writer.  And you’ll have to experience for yourself the utterly bizarre "Galactica-A Team-V" crossover fanfic that my brother Tod stumbled upon.

Lee Said Read

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My Uncle Burl Barer has just landed a contract with Kensington for two more of his true crime books, the first of which has the great title MOM SAID KILL:

[It] will detail the shocking story of
Barbara and Heather Opel, mother and daughter, who murdered Barbara’s
generous employer in front of his elderly mother, made off with his
furniture and $40K from his bank account. Heather was about fourteen
years old at the time, and Mom promised her a new dirt bike for helping
in the murder. The kid never got the dirt bike.

You are Art

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Rosieandshirt_1
You saw it on THE VIEW…now you can own one, too. I’m talking about my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino’s hot-selling I AM ART t-shirts. The shirts are doing so well that now my sisters have expanded the line to other kinds of clothes and accessories. Check it out at their store.

32 Flavors of Awesome

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Some yahooer sent me this link to a Live Journal blog post that mentions yours truly. I don’t know about you, but I think it was my brother Tod who sent it to me:

Also, totally love Tod Goldberg. He’s the brother of Lee Goldberg,
known for throwing periodic hissy fits over the existence of fanfic.
But while Lee is an asshat, Tod is a brilliant writer. His blog
is wonderful, and his short-story collection "Simplify" is . . . umm,
lots of good things that I am not qualified to elaborate on. I am
usually not a fan of straight fiction, because I hate reading about
normal people doing normal things, but Tod Goldberg is 32 flavours of
awesome.

She’s right… I am an asshat and Tod is a brilliant writer. But I’m thinner and have a lot less body hair.