I’ve become the subject of another fanfiction dust-up, this one over at the Monk message boards, where I’ve been accused of calling fanficcers rapists and murderers…but other than that, nothing new is being said you haven’t read here before ad nauseum.
Lee Goldberg
Search Me II
Here are some of the searches that brought people to this blog today…
Ninya Perna Sex (Who is "Ninya Perna?")
Jeri Ryan Encino (Is someone trying to find out where she lives?)
Jenna Lewis Sex Tapes (Jenna who? People still remember her?)
Celebrity Nipples (Would Jenna’s nipples qualify as celebrities?)
Hunter + McCall Slash Fanfic
Brothers Grimm Slash Fanfiction
Pernell Roberts (Odd..no one is asking about his plastic surgery, his nipples, or looking for slash fiction with him and Little Joe)
Lara Flynn Boyle Plastic Surgery (Nipple implants, no doubt)
White Wash + Ian Ludlow (this one aroused my curiosity)
Orlando Bloom + Mpreg
Reunion+ reality+sucks + Fox
Chicken Pot Pie
Worst Novel Opening Lines
William Shatner Plastic Surgery Hoax
Karina Lombard Nipples (what is it with this nipple obsession on the web?)
Lindsay Lohan Nipples (I knew that would get me hits!)
On the Road Again
Yesterday, I kicked off a schedule of promotional events (that stretches into March 2006) by signing at The Mystery Book Store and Mysteries to Die For with my friend Zoe Sharp, who is in the states from the U.K pushing her hot new novel FIRST DROP. She was accompanied by Andy, her swarthy body guard, photographer, sex slave, pack-horse, chauffeur and doting husband. We had a wonderful time meeting readers, chatting with booksellers and hanging out. My daughter Madison strong-armed Zoe into buying a copy of her book
ADVENTURES OF KITTY WONDER #2: LOTS OF KILLING and at Mysteries to Die
For, Andy test-drove the owner’s new Lexus hybrid. Zoe will be posting some pictures of our whirlwind L.A. tour on her website. You can also check out her road-trip blog.
Here’s a story of a man named Brady
I make the mistake of joking about Partridge Family slash fanfic and what happens? My brother Tod finds this:
"Greg. Greg Brady." Greg proffered his hand to be shaken and Keith [Partridge] held onto it a little too long.
"You’re touring with us, right?"
"Uh huh." Greg licked his lips and wondered why his pants suddenly felt so tight.
"We should be getting ready."
"Yeah." Greg shook himself out of his reverie and said, "You have nice hair."
"Thanks. So do you."
"Maybe we could–" Greg started tentatively.
Keith smiled slowly. "I know a place."
"We could get caught. I mean–" Greg’s cheeks flamed bright red and he ducked his head to avoid Keith’s probable scrutiny.
"Not if we hurry. Come on."
Keith knew where all the dark places to hide were. He had to. He had an
overprotective mother and more siblings than he could count.
At Least it’s not The Partridge Family
There’s a Livejournal community dedicated solely to slash fiction about the
alternative music duo Insane Clown Posse. It’s about time.
(Thanks to Jeffrey Hitchin for the heads-up. I’m not gonna ask how he found it)
Raves for Tod
The litblog Bookslut loves Tod’s new book SIMPLIFY:
Simplify captures a wide range of emotions and style in his debut
collection of short stories. Goldberg has thought a lot about the human
condition and the way our hearts and minds define us. He is effortlessly
brilliant with his pared-down prose and attention to detail. In a society that
is disinclined to contemplate our own deaths, Goldberg hits it head-on with no
qualms or fluff. His stories will provoke and startle you. There is a distinct
balance in each of his stories, giving just enough humor, thought and sincerity
to the entire collection. It’s rare to find a book that can evoke such strong
emotions within a single collection, however, Tod Goldberg’s Simplify
is a force to be reckoned with.
Possessed by Walter Scott
Does my brother Tod actually keep every issue of Parade? That is just sick. Keeping every issue of TV Guide, now that is a noble pursuit.
Will the price of gas affect what studios pay for spec scripts?
I had this email exchange today:
I am wondering how much of an affect does the current state of the country will have on Holly Wood when it comes to buying scripts?
I replied:
Not to be dense, but I don’t understand your question. Do you mean the
economy? The war in Iraq? The hurricane in New Orleans? And what do you
mean by affect? The kinds of stories Hollywood will or won’t buy? The
money they are paying for specs?
He replied:
I apologize for not being specific. I was talking about everything you
mentioned including the high gas prices. Will these events have an
affect on the number of scripts Hollywood will purchase for this year?
Will they have an affect on the purchasing price for the scripts they
do buy?
I replied:
That is such a broad question, I couldn’t possibly answer it. I have no idea if all the events in the world today — economic, political and social — will affect the number of scripts Hollywood buys or what they pay for them. But I want to be helpful, so here’s some advice: Don’t write a script about a private eye who can communicate with plants. I think a story like that wouldn’t do well no matter what is happening in the world today.
Inside SIMPLIFY
My brother Tod’s short-story collecti0n SIMPLIFY hit the stores today and to mark the occasion, he reveals the harrowing "backstory" behind each of the stories in the book.
Mystery Lovers Corner
You don’t want readers to wonder why your books aren’t here.
Lots of categories to classify your books.
We had our Grand Opening 5/27/05, and since then we‚ve had over 1700 hits to the website. More authors are joining daily. Currently over 60 have joined, including Carolyn Hart, Joanne Fluke, Robin Hathaway, and Lyn Hamilton.
We also have a Featured Author each month. They answer interview questions and are featured on an additional page for no additional cost. In the future, we may increase the number of Featured Authors each month to give more authors the extra exposure
I don’t see how paying for "exposure" on this amateurishly-designed, no-prestige, low-traffic site is much of a promotional opportunity — not to brag, but I get more hits here per day than they’ve had in five months. A blank page could probably get more hits (especially if you put the word breasts in the text somewhere). Her low traffic and sloppy design simply aren’t worth the thirty five bucks.
In my opinion, you’re much better off spending the money on a five month subscription
to Typepad ($4.95-a-month, first month free) and starting your own blog. It will
look a lot better than her site, it will focus only on YOU, and you’ll probably
get as much (if not more) traffic than you would on her obscure corner of
cyberspace.