Lee Goldberg

A Brash Birthday

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Lee Goldberg & Joel Goldman making a brash fashion statement

Three years ago this week, Joel Goldman and I launched our publishing company Brash Books with thirty titles, all of them acclaimed, award-winning books that had fallen out of print…and that we brought back in new print and digital editions.

Our mission was cocky and ambitious: to publish the best crime novels in existence. We believe we’ve lived up to that brash goal. We now have just about 100 titles in print, more than a dozen of them brand new books, many by first-time authors who’ve never been published before. Our books have consistently scored rave reviews from the industry trades… including three STARRED reviews from Publishers Weekly. We’ve also sorted through nearly 900 manuscript submissions.
 
We want to give our heartfelt thanks to all of our readers and especially to these amazing authors for putting their faith in us:
 
Leo W. Banks, Robert E. Dunn, Patrick E. McLean, Bill Crider, Bob Forward, Phoef Sutton, Margaret Moseley Burris, Mark Rogers, Jane Waterhouse, Jim Sanderson, Philip Reed, Robin Burcell, Gar Anthony Haywood ,Warren Ripley, Andy Straka, Dick Lochte, Craig Faustus Buck, Noreen Ayres, Michael Genelin Gerald Duff, Max Allan Collins, Dallas Murphy, A.W. Mykel, Phillip Thompson Mark Smith, Barbara Neely, Maxine O’Callaghan, Geoffrey Miller, Tom Kakonis, Jack Bunker, Michael Stone, and the estates of Jimmy Sangster, Ted Thackrey Jr. , Jack Lynch, and Stan R. Lee.
 
This year we made a big push into audiobooks and we couldn’t have done it without our amazing, super-talented narrators. So we’d like to thank Travis Baldree, Harry Dyson, J Rodney Turner, Shawn Compton and John Burlinson for their stellar work.
 
And finally, none of this would have been possible without the hard work of our office manager Denise M. Fields and graphic artist Jacqui Hair, who created our Brash logo and does all of our advertising. We’d also like to thank the many freelance graphic artists who designed our covers.
 
We can’t wait to see what 2018 brings for Brash Books, our authors, and our readers.

The Mail I Get – Long Overdue Monk Edition

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I’ve been getting lots of questions about my MONK series. Here are just a few of them.

Hi Lee, quick question about the Monk books. I know they’re stand-alones, but did you intend for the characters to have gradual progressions from book 1 to book 15, which wouldn’t necessarily require the reader to read them in order, but that the reader would get more out of the overall storyline arc if they *did* read them in order?

Yes, particularly after MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT and onwards through my last book, MR. MONK GETS EVEN. Also, early in the series, the books MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY and MR. MONK IS MISERABLE (aka Mr. Monk Goes to France) take place basically within hours of each other, so those are best read in order.

Love the Mr Monk book series. I’m in need of a jacket cover for a hardcover book “Mr Monk on the COUCH”. Any idea where I might be able to go and get just the cover?

I don’t have a stack of dust jackets in my closet. You’ll have to buy a used book. There are plenty on Amazon and ABEbooks.

I just finished reading your last book on Monk and something bothers me. Where was the daughter of Trudy – Molly? How is it possible that she was not at the wedding Ambrose and Yuki? After all, she is part of the family. Why she was not invited to the wedding? Was there any reason why you did not mention Molly Evans in your book? Please reply.

If memory serves , I had Molly appear in “Mr Monk on The Road” and I felt that was enough attention paid to her. The character appeared briefly in the last episode of Monk, so she barely registered as a character . She wasn’t monk’s daughter, so she wasn’t related to him or Ambrose. Her character barely existed in the tv show. I saw no reason to spend any more time with a character that viewers and readers didn’t really know or care about. That approach has proven correct since you are only the second person, out of the tens of thousands of readers who bought the book, to bring her up to me in the years since the novel was published. 🙂

Thanks for writing the Monk series. I love them. I love the way you have developed the characters, especially…all of them. I am just very disappointed that you are not going to write any more of them. If you change your mind I shall rejoice.

Thank you, but to quote a cliche, the ship has sailed on the MONK books. I won’t be doing any more. I think writing fifteen books and three Monk episodes is more than enough Monk for me!

I was wondering if you still talk to the maker of monk because if you do I was wonder if you could ask him to make a monk movie! I would love that and I know a lot of fans would love it too!

Andy Breckman wrote a MONK reunion movie several years ago for USA Network. But, from what I understand, it ended up being too expensive to produce.

I’m a HUGE fan of the Mr. Monk book series and the TV series! I’m having a very hard time finding your first book, “Mr. Monk Goes To The Firehouse” so, I was wondering if you could send me a copy at your earliest convenience. Here is my address. Please sign it, too.

I’m so glad that you enjoy the MONK books. I don’t know why you’re having troubles finding MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE. It is widely available from hundreds of booksellers, in some cases for as little as one penny plus postage! That said, I’m not a bookseller nor do I send out free copies of my books to anybody who asks.

I am a huge fan, I have seen the Monk tv show and read all of the Monk books.  How do I go about obtaining a copy of the short story Mr. Monk and the Seventeen steps?

The short story is actually a chapter from one of the MONK books… MR. MONK ON THE ROAD. All the short stories that were published in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine were excerpts from the books that just worked as standalone stories

The Mail I Get – Scammers Edition

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Even in this age of easy self-publishing, the scammers are still out there… and there are still plenty of suckers. I recently ran into an author who not only “published” his book through Authorhouse, he also paid them extra to buy positive reviews for him in the worthless “self-published books” versions of Publishers Weekly and Kirkus. Not only that, he was seriously considering a sleazy marketeer’s $25,000 campaign to “get his book on bestseller lists” by paying people to buy copies and leave positive reviews on digital platforms. He firmly believed that this is how Stephen King, John Grisham, Janet Evanovich and others get their books reviewed and on the bestseller lists. I, of course, told him was wrong and that he’d been swindled. Afterwards, he emailed me this plea:

Okay, so I’m ready with open ears to figure out how to get my book marketed, put on best seller lists, then get it made into a movie. I asked you last week if I could send you a copy to take a look at, cause it’s pretty damn dynamic. I know you have your own writings to take care of, but If there’s anything at all you can do to help me, I would be more than happy cut a nice juicy percent of gross profits…of everything. Please, please, please guide me in the right direction and if possible, drive the damn car for me.

The first thing you need to know is that Authorhouse is a notorious scam that operates under several names (Author Solutions, iUniverse, xlibris, etc.). They prey on the desperation of aspiring authors and squeeze them for every last penny they can get. Don’t pay them another dime for anything. You’ve been swindled out of enough money by these crooks as it is. Here’s just one of many posts out there about the Author Solutions/Authorhouse scam. The good news is that people have finally gotten wise to their con and the company is in a downward spiral.

But before they crash and burn, you should demand that Authorhouse revert the rights to the book back to you, along with the PDF and Kindle files that you’ve paid for, and pull the book from sale. Your book is ranked at 2 million on Amazon, which frankly means you aren’t selling any books anyway, so you aren’t risking anything by yanking it. Nobody knows the book exists.

I’m sorry, but I don’t have the time to help you untangle yourself from Authorhouse or to walk you through self-publishing your book. But before you consider self-publishing again, or marketing your book to real publishers, you should really go back and rewrite the manuscript. I read the Amazon sample and, I mean no offense, but it needs substantial editing by a professional. It’s bloated with endless, dull exposition…and isn’t ready to sell to anybody. Rewriting the book under the guidance of an experienced freelance editor, or a knowledgeable creative writing instructor (perhaps through UCLA Extension), is really the best use of your resources now rather than investing time, effort, and money self-publishing a book that is unlikely to find an audience in its present form.

Goldberg News: Two Thrillers Coming in 2018 & A Big Screen WALK

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I’ve got lots of exciting news to share…so let’s get to it!

James Grady and Lee at the Edgars

TWO THRILLERS COMING IN 2018

The big news is that I’ve signed a two-book deal with Amazon Publishing/Thomas & Mercer that kicks off with the publication of my new thriller TRUE FICTION in April 2018, followed by the sequel in the fall.

I’ve described the book as a cross between SIX DAYS OF THE CONDOR and NORTH BY NORTHWEST. So it was a real thrill when I finally got to meet James Grady, author of CONDOR at the Edgars in April.

TRUE FICTION takes place in Hawaii, Seattle, Los Angeles, Nevada, and Washington D.C…. and I finished writing it in a cafe in Paris on a rainy day in January. It’s about a thriller author who discovers that one of his fictional tales is becoming horrifyingly real. To say more now would spoil the fun. I’ll give you more details about the book, and my research and travels for it, when we get closer to the pub date.


CHASING FOX & O’HARE

Many of you have asked when the next Fox & O’Hare book is coming…especially since THE PURSUIT, which I co-authored with my good friend Janet Evanovich, was such a big success, hitting #1 on the New York Times bestseller list back in June 2016. Unfortunately, we’re still trying to work out a satisfactory agreement with the publisher for future books. As soon as I have news, I’ll be sure to share it with you. I took an extensive research trip to Australia and New Zealand for that as-yet-unwritten sixth book in the series and I’m eager to take Nick & Kate there for their next adventure.


THE WALK … COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU?

A movie version of THE WALK is in pre-production based on my own script. A terrific director has been signed and offers will be going out to A-list actors soon. I wish I could say more than that, but I am bound to secrecy for the time being. There have been false starts in the past but I am cautiously optimistic that filming could start in early 2018.

BEING BRASH

Brash Books, the publishing company that I launched with Joel Goldman, is going strong as we approach our third year in business. We’ve published close 100 titles so far! Our latest title is Patrick McLean’s new novel THE SOAK, a terrific thriller that evokes the best of Donald Westlake’s Parker novels. I think you’ll love it. I also heartily recommend the new audiobook edition of Jack Bunker’s TRUE GRIFT. Harry Dyson does a fantastic job narrating it and I guarantee that you’ll laugh your way through your next traffic jam or gym work-out.

LOS ANGELES TIMES FESTIVAL OF BOOKS

I had a great time, as usual, moderating panels and hanging out at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Here are a couple of photos from the event:


Lee with former Barnes & Noble events exec Lita Weissman and authors Gar Anthony Haywood, Laura Lippman and Megan Abbott


Lee with authors Eric Jerome Dickey, Chris Farnsworth, Gregg Hurwitz, and Daniel Suarez

That’s all the news for now…more soon!

More Gleason

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Valerie, me and Michael on my wedding day ... 26 years ago.
Valerie, me and Michael on my wedding day … 26 years ago.

Last night I went to the memorial for my dear friend and mentor Michael Gleason, who passed away a few weeks ago. The stories his family and friends told were touching, funny and perfectly captured his personality. They sparked memories for me that I had forgotten about. The highlight (if you can say such a thing about a memorial) was a short film about his life, narrated by Michael himself from an interview conducted with him recently. It was like having him back in the room. I’ll miss that voice, that unique sense of humor, and that hearty laugh. There were a lot of famous people in the room…including TV writers like John Wilder, William Blinn, Jeff Melvoin, Brad Kern & John Wirth… and actors Pierce Brosnan, Stephanie Zimbalist, Kim Lankford, Susan Sullivan, and Jaclyn Smith. It’s remarkable how many lives he touched…and so profoundly. Here is a short essay I wrote for the memorial keepsake that was given out to family members.

I am the writer I am today largely because of Michael Gleason. And in some ways, I am the man I am today because of him, too.

He gave me, and my writer partner William Rabkin, our first TV staff jobs on Murphy’s Law. Michael was warm and encouraging and took an instant, fatherly interest in us. He taught us everything he knew. He brought us into casting, editing, music spotting and every other aspect of production and post-production…and gave us far more responsibility than we deserved. He became our professor of television. Our mentor. Our dear friend.

Michael took us with him to lunch every day at La Serre, where he had his own table marked with his name on a brass plaque and he could schmooze with Glen Larson and all of his other industry friends. We loved it but it was bankrupting us. After a week or two, we told him that we couldn’t afford to eat like that every day. He understood. We kept eating there…but he picked up our check.

Michael wasn’t a perfect person. He had his demons. He knew that and so did I. But he used his mistakes, both personal and professional, as life lessons for me. He gave me some advice on that show that I’ve lived by ever since and have passed on to others:

Don’t get divorced.

 You are a writer, first and foremost. Don’t fall in love with your producer credit, no matter how high you climb, or you’ll limit your opportunities. The goal is to get paid to write. The rest is gravy.  

 Don’t get divorced.

 Live below your means. Your show could be cancelled tomorrow… or maybe in five years…but after that you might not work for a long time, or not as often, or not get paid as well. So sock your money away. Don’t buy a Rolls Royce or build a tennis court on a cliff.

 Don’t get divorced.

Michael was full of love, creativity, and boundless energy. Nobody. NOBODY, could tell a story like he did. The stories and anecdotes were wonderful, but the real pleasure for me was the obvious joy he took in sharing them. In fact, he taught me how to pitch by insisting that I sell our episodes to the network myself. His notes on my performance would either be: “Less Gleason” or “More Gleason.” And I knew exactly what he meant.

Every time I tell a story, I hear Michael Gleason in my ear. I know that I always will.

 

 

 

 

 

The Warrant For My Arrest Scam

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scam-alert2I had great fun today talking with “Lt. David O’Neal” of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, who left a message on my voicemail to let me know that a warrant had been issued for my arrest. He told me I had to call him back today at 213-334-6708. I did…knowing full well it was a scam. He answered the phone.
CONMAN: Los Angeles County Sheriff Department.
ME: I’m looking for Lt. David O’Neal.
CONMAN: This is the operator. I will connect you. Please hold.
<hold for two minutes, then same guy gets back on the line>
CONMAN: This is Lt. O’Neal. How may I help you?
ME: This is Lee Goldberg, you called me today. You said there’s a warrant for my arrest. What’s going on?
CONMAN: Let me check the database.
<hold for two minutes>
CONMAN: Is this Lee Goldberg, who lives at XYZ? (Mispronounces name of my street and the city)
ME:  Yes.
CONMAN: This is in regards to a sums sent to you on October 3 for a court appearance on November 8.
ME: A sums?
CONMAN: Yes, it was sent to your house.
ME: What is a sums?
CONMAN: Excuse me for a moment.
<short hold>
CONMAN: This is in regards to a summons.
ME: Oh, a summons. You didn’t say that.
CONMAN: Yes, I did. Sorry if I wasn’t clear. You have been placed by the court on a D & R. Are you claiming this was a postal failure to deliver and that you are not evading the court.
ME: Yes.
CONMAN: Okay. Do you have a pen and paper?
ME: Yes.
CONMAN: The honorable Judge Virginia Phillips, located in courthouse C, has issued two class C warrants, STA, for failure to appear, docket number 205-20-16, and COC, for contempt of court, docket #205-31-93
ME: Gee, that sounds serious. What did I do?
CONMAN: I do not have access to that information. The court documents are sealed. I am only advising you about the court’s action.
ME: Is this about the attempted murder charge?
CONMAN: Probably, sir.
ME: I thought the statute of limitations had run out.
CONMAN: The statute is still in force. 
ME: Maybe it’s the kidnapping thing.
CONMAN:  I don’t know. Do you have a pen and paper? Write this down. I am Lt. David O’Neal — N-E-A-L, badge # 3193, I am located at 226 Temple Street, LA , 90012 You will have to come down here today to sign an affidavit to appear.
ME: Now?
CONMAN: Not yet. This is a courtesy call to advise you what is going on and to alleviate the situation at hand. I need to advise you that your name is going into the NCIC database. This is standard procedure in cases like this, but don’t be alarmed.
ME: I’m very alarmed. I thought the attempted murder allegations were behind me. 
CONMAN: Before you come down, you need to provide a bond for the STA, which is a failure to appear, and one for the COC, contempt of court. The amount of each bond is $990. The money will be refunded when you appear. These bonds are required to guarantee your appearance. Do you own a mobile device?
ME: Yes.
CONMAN: Good. I need you to stay on the line throughout this procedure. It’s very tedious, but necessary, and will show your good faith to the court.
ME: I don’t have time for a tedious procedure. This has been tedious enough. Why don’t you just come out to the lobby?
CONMAN: What do you mean?
ME: I’m at the Lost Hills Sheriff’s Station right now.
CONMAN: SHIT!
<Hangs up>
I wasn’t at the Sheriff’s station, of course. I imagine there are some morons who fall for this…but it’s hard to believe considering that the perpetrators are so lame. Here’s the Sheriff’s alert about the scam. 

The Mail I Get: Booktweep Edition

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I’ve been getting spammed with emails lately from an awful book promotion service called Booktweep.

We saw your book “The Pursuit: A Fox and O’Hare Novel” at Amazon. We would like to help you in the Promotional efforts of “The Pursuit: A Fox and O’Hare Novel” to boost the number of sales and ranking. We will act as an extra helping hand in marketing your book so that you can get more time to write your next one. You can check our website and discuss your promotion queries and your Book Sales target. For more info just visit our website and write to us. Our website is https://booktweep.com/product/signup/

So I took a look at the Booktweep website. It’s a mess. Basically, you pay them $14.99 a month and they will send out terrible twitter ads about your book.  Here are three examples of their work:

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I sent the promotional visionaries at Booktweep this note:

Here’s some advice for you on your promotional efforts.

1. Research the authors you are contacting. If you had looked into me, you’d know that THE PURSUIT hit #1 on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists on its debut four weeks ago and that we don’t need your tweet help.

2. Hire someone familiar with the English language to write your twitter ads. The ads you are running now humiliate you and your clients.

3. Hire someone familiar with the English language to write your website. It’s embarrassing and unprofessional to have phrases like this as subject headings on your website:

Why to choose Booktweep?

How it works?

So, why to wait ?

(FYI, the correct phrasing is: Why choose Booktweep? and How does it work? and So why wait?)

In addition to those inept headings, you have phrases like this:

5.8 Millions Tweet Impressions

15.7 Thousands Profile visits of @Ebookjunction

Million and Thousand do not need to be plural. Someone familiar with English would know better.

I could go on and on. Why would anyone pay you to promote their work when you do such an awful, sloppy job?

Happy Birthday, Dad. I Don’t Miss You.

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My wife Valerie, my daughter Maddie, and me
My wife Valerie, my daughter Maddie, and me

Today would have been my Dad’s 70-something birthday. He died too young, sitting on a couch, eating pizza. He was in the midst of his third marriage and he was broke, or close to it, yet again. He was estranged from his four children and didn’t know his grandkids, as well as his stepchildren and a child he’d adopted and hadn’t seen in years. This was his own doing, something achieved after decades of irresponsibility, spinelessness and shameful parenting. As the oldest of his four children, I was the only one in any contact with him (I was also the only one of his kids or stepchildren to attend his funeral, which should tell you something right there). Perhaps that’s because I was the child who’d had him in his life the longest as a parent. But each time I saw him in my adulthood, it wasn’t anger and frustration that I felt but crushing sadness, for him and, I guess, to some degree, for myself. My promise to myself after each depressing encounter was that I wouldn’t be anything like him… not personally, not professionally, and especially not as a father. So each fourth of July, I find myself looking inward and wondering if I’ve fullfilled that promise. I think it must be fate that my daughter was born on July 3rd, because it gives me a chance the day before to see in her a progress report of sorts. Yesterday was my daughter’s 21st birthday and we spent it together, as a family, as we always have. I felt so much love and pride for her that I can wake up this morning, look in the mirror, and say to myself with certainty, and no small measure of relief: “I’m not you, Dad.” I hope I can do the same next year.

The Pursuit & Cosmic Coincidences

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Yesterday several dreams came true all at once.

Pursuit is number oneFirst off, you can now call me a #1 New York Times bestselling author. THE PURSUIT, my fifth Fox & O’Hare book co-authored with Janet Evanovich, debuted at #1 on the ebook bestseller list (and #8 on hardcover, and #3 on print & ebook combined). Hitting #1 is a dream come true… but it got even better thanks to some cosmic coincidences.

As some of you may know, my brother Tod is also an author. His latest book is THE HOUSE OF SECRETS , co-authored with my friend Brad Meltzer, came out in early June …the same day as the paperback edition of THE SCAM, my fourth Fox & O’Hare book with Janet Evanovich, was released. It’s a total coincidence, since we have different publishers. HOUSE OF SECRETS debuted at #6 on the New York Times hardcover bestseller list and last week THE SCAM was #5 on the New York Times mass market paperback list.

Screenshot 2016-06-29 14.43.50But this week we are on the same bestseller list together — THE PURSUIT is #8 and THE HOUSE OF SECRETS is #16 on the New York Times hardcover bestseller list.

Woo-hoo!

We’ve both fantasized about this happening and now it actually has. We both have a hard time believing it. We owe a big thank you to Janet Evanovich and Brad Meltzer for their big roles in making this dream come true…and especially to all of YOU for buying our books.

PS – The great coincidences don’t end there.  Audiobooks superstar Scott Brick reads the audio version of THE PURSUIT and he also reads the audio version of THE HOUSE OF SECRETS. How cool is that?