Lee Goldberg

LiveJournal Pounces on Potter “Slash”

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CNet reports that LiveJournal has created an uproar by deleting blogs that feature  sexually explicit drawings of Harry Potter doing the nasty with other men.

The users’ journal entries contained "drawings depicting minors in explicit sexual situations," which represented a violation of LiveJournal’s policies, according to copies of the letters posted by their recipients.

In ponderosa121’s case, the offending image depicted an unclothed Harry Potter of ambiguous age receiving oral sex from sometimes-villain Severus Snape.

[…]the latest episode has fanfic devotees once again encouraging livid LiveJournal users to switch to "clone" sites in protest and to register their discontent through feedback emails.

Predictably, and laughably, the irate fanficcers are trying to equate Harry Potter porn with larger social issues in an effort to gain mainstream support. Good luck. The blog Darkside Rainbow says:

now users are wondering: who’s next? Will a mother be suspended for posting pictures of her baby’s first bath? Will a gay male be suspended for posting a photograph or even a drawing of himself and his boyfriend kissing? Will a closeted lesbian be suspended for using LiveJournal as a safe haven to discuss her erotic thoughts about other women? Will artists and writers be censored in their creativity because LiveJournal believes that writing or drawing about an act – be it sex, violence, etc. – construes endorsing and promoting it?

I don’t know what’s scarier…that these idiots can’t see the difference between Potter Porn and a picture of a mother bathing her child…or that the so-called "artists" of the Potter Porn are considered "respected members of the fanfic community."

Back in the USA

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I got back to the U.S. late Sunday after nearly four months in Europe and it feels good, though I was wide-awake at 4 a.m. this morning.

I’ve already starting wading through the unbelievable mountain of mail I’ve accumulated while I was away…it’s like the back room of the post office. It’s also like Christmas…the boxes I’ve opened so far include maybe 100 Emmy screeners, some copies of the Polish editions of my MONK books, and stuff I forgot that I ordered on Amazon, DeepDiscount DVD, and eBay.

But I am not stowing my suitcases just yet.  I’ll be returning to Germany in about four weeks to finish post-production on FAST TRACK and to be a keynote speaker at the Cologne Conference 2007, along with guys like Steve Bochco and Paul Haggis. And I may be hitting the road with Action Concept’s international sales team to help secure worldwide presales for FAST TRACK in advance of the broadcast of the pilot in Germany (which will happen some time before the end of the year). 

Dom-inating

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I am back in Cologne, Germany, and enjoying the view of the Dom cathedral out of my hotel window. 

We had a wonderful little European roadtrip through Belgium and Holland. The highlights for me were Brugge, Belgium and Ultrecht, Holland, two incredibly beautiful cities with lots of canals, bridges, wonderful architecture, and colorful gardens. I have to visit both places again some day.

I wasn’t wild about Brussels — the streets made me nd my GPS go nuts.  The Brussels city planners must have been drunk when they devised their traffic flow scheme. Antwerp left me cold, too.

Amsterdam was interesting. I might have liked it more if I hadn’t seen Brugge first. It was also way too chaotic for me…crossing the street meant dodging trams, buses, bikes, motorcycles, cars and crowds of people. I felt like I was in a meteor shower. We also inadvertently strayed into the red-light district…where my 12-year-old daughter saw lots of, um, interesting things.  It wasn’t the prostitutes sitting in the windows that was unsettling for her, it was the window displays in the sex shops (then again, there was nothing there she didn’t see later in the front window of the sex shop right next door the Intercontinental Hotel here in Cologne).  It wasn’t easy explaining to her why a woman would wear a giant, rubber penis strapped to her waist. My wife told her it was to keep her hands free while she made scrambled eggs, but my daughter didn’t buy it and demanded that I tell her "exactly" what it was for. So I told her the truth. I said it was a clothes hanger.

My family returns to L.A. tomorrow but I have to stick around for a few more days to do some post-production work on FAST TRACK before finally returning home. This is the longest I have ever been away from the U.S. and I am beginning to feel home sick, even with my family here with me. It will be nice to sleep in my own bed again and stop living out of a suitcase for a little while.

More later…

Harry Potter and the Brazen Knock-offs

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The New York Times reports that bootleg editions of the Harry Potter novels as well  as unauthorized continuations and sequels abound in  China, where counterfeiting and copyright infringement are major industries.

No one can say with any certainty what the full tally is, but there are easily a dozen unauthorized Harry Potter titles on the market here already, and that is counting only bound versions that are sold on street corners and can even be found in school libraries. Still more versions exist online.

These include "Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince," a creation whose name in Chinese closely resembles the title of the genuine sixth book by Rowling, as well as pure inventions that include "Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon," "Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire," "Harry Potter and the Young Heroes," "Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon," and "Harry Potter and the Big Funnel."

Some borrow little more than the names of Rowling’s characters, lifting plots from other well-known authors, like J. R. R. Tolkien, or placing the famously British protagonist in plots lifted from well-known kung-fu epics and introducing new characters from Chinese literary classics like "Journey to the West."

The publishers of these rip-offs are unapologetic and surprisingly candid about what they are doing.

Wang Lili, editor of the China Braille Publishing House, which published "Harry Potter and the Chinese Porcelain Doll" in 2002, one of the Chinese knockoffs, said: "We published the book out of a very common incentive. Harry Potter was so popular that we wanted to enjoy the fruits of its widely accepted publicity in China."

I can only imagine how these knock-offs make Rowling feel…and how confused Chinese readers must be. How can they tell the real books from the fakes?

Going Dutch

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France_lohr_brugge_307
Greetings from Haarlem,  Holland.

The screening of my FAST TRACK cut for the network execs last week at the Action Concept studios in Cologne went very well. They loved it…much to my relief. I’ve made their suggested changes to the cut and now I’m waiting to attend the "big" screening of the pilot at the network headquarters in Munich on August 8th. In the mean time, I am continuing with post-production…which includes working with the composer, the fx team, and supervising the "clean" cut for U.S. broadcast TV. France_lohr_brugge_342

But  I’ve snuck away for fives days with my family for a little European road-trip before they head back to L.A. on the 3rd (I’m still working though…I have a MONK book to write). We visited Brugge, Belgium, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I must have taken 500 photos of the place.  I’ve posted a couple of them here.  Today we visited Antwerp and tomorrow it’s off to Amsterdam for a day or two…then back to Cologne.

Hello Again

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Sorry I have been scarce around here lately — I’ve just been too busy to post.

I’m back in Cologne after five days in the tiny village of Lohr, where I taught my fourth "Writers Room" seminar in Germany and researched my next MONK novel. I think it went well — I certainly had a good time.

While I was in Lohr, I screened the rough cut of FAST TRACK for the students (all writer/producers in Germany) and got some valuable feedback. I stayed in touch with the post-production department and, thanks to the wonders of high-speed internet, was able to fine-tune a "teaser trailer" for our international sales department, watch a few fx shots, and review the "audition scenes" submitted by four different composers who would like to do our score. On Sunday night, I found three hours for a walking tour of Lohr with a very knowledgeable woman from the historical society.

As if all that wasn’t enough to deprive me of sleep, the galleys for MR. MONK IN OUTER SPACE arrived while I was there and I have begun proofing the manuscript, which has to be back in NY at the end of the week in order to make the Oct. 30 pub date.

Early tomorrow morning, I’m making a few last minute tweaks to the FAST TRACK cut before the network execs arrive from Munich to see it. I’m crossing my fingers that they will like it!

Okay, time to go back to the galleys. I’ll report back soon.

(Why is it that Internet access is free in cheap hotels and costs a fortune in expensive hotels? And did you know that the McDonalds in Germany serve Grilled Shrimp Sandwiches and profiterolles?)

Paris and stuff

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I’ve driven in a lot of U.S. cities, and quite a few European ones, but I think if you can drive in Paris, you can probably drive  anywhere on earth. It’s dog-eat-dog on the roads there, no rules seem to apply. It’s infuriating,  exciting, and exhausting.

Since I was last here five years ago, it seems as though the population has quadrupled and most of them are on motorcycles. There’s less dog shit on the streets though, perhaps because it has never  stopped raining. It doesn’t feel like summer here at all.

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But Paris is still, well, Paris…a beautiful city and I had a wonderful dinner last night at  Lasserre with my wife, actress Alexia Barlier, our international  sales exec, and an exec from the French network M6, which will be airing FAST TRACK. I’ve  never been to a restaurant quite like it. Very elegant, with five waiters doing what’s ordinarily done by one. They do everything for you but pre-chew your food. In middle of the meal, the ceiling opened up…less like a skylight than SPECTRE’s hidden base in a dormant volcano. It was pretty cool.

My vacation will be ending soon… our director Axel Sand delivers his cut of FAST TRACK on Friday and on Saturday I head Action Concept studios in Cologne to do my cut. I’ve got about five days to work in the editing room…and then it’s off to Lohr to teach the principles of American TV writing & producing with writer/producer Jack Bernstein.  Jack and I worked together on DEADLY GAMES, but we’ve also both worked separately on SHE SPIES and MONK. He’s a great writer and a very funny guy, so it should be a lot of fun.

In the mean time, I have been re-reading a book that I’ve optioned, going through it with a highlighter and getting a feel for what the "screen" story will be…I hope to be able to get to work on that script (along with MONK #6: MR. MONK GOES  TO GERMANY) while I am awaiting word on whether  FAST TRACK will be picked up or not.

Publicists Who Can’t Publicize Themselves

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I got this spam email not long ago from Brian Feinblum at Planned Television Arts, a PR firm (the typos are his):

I saw you and your books listed in a directory at this past weekend’s
Book Expo. The only mystery for mystery authors to solve is: How can you secure
effective publicity for your books? I am happy to say we have a solution. Planned Television Arts is the nation’s largest and oldest book promoters. As such we invite you to send info about your most recent or
upcoming book and we can customized a plan that world for you.

If their "customized plan" and PR savvy is anything like their customized emails, it’s a wonder they are still in business. Milton Kahn is another one. I got a spam email  from him recently. Here’s the first line:

I would
like to make you aware of my public relations company as I feel I could be a
perfect fit in helping you promote and publicize your current or upcoming book
on a national level.

What a grabber, huh? If that’s his idea of a compelling lead, imagine what he could do for me! My check is in the mail, Milt.

Getting off to See the Wizard

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Dorothy rolling in the hay with the Scarecrow? C’mon, we all know they wanted to get naked together. That’s just one of the bizarre, fanfic couplings that Fleshbot has , um, uncovered on LiveJournal.

"D-Dorothy?"

Dorothy looked quickly over her shoulder, but her
own movement against her hand caused to moan loudly again as her eyes
met the Scarecrow’s.

Without a conversation, or her needing to persuade him, he came over between her thighs and kissed her thoroughly.

Dorothy
was surprised to feel his cloth mouth feeling rather erotic on her
mouth, making her even more wet than she was before he walked in.

She grinded her hips against his straw structure, and even that felt right.

She looked up at him with frustrated eyes, "I want you inside me."

bois-le-roi

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Greetings from the tiny village of bois-le-roi france, where i am visiting my mother in law. She has no internet acess or even a computer, so I am attempting this post with my blackberry (thank god there is cellular coverage here or I’d be cut off from the outside world). FAST TRACK wrapped on Sunday (the day was spent  on second unit and insert work). The wrap party went into the wee hours of Monday morning and then I hit the road to France with my family. We stopped in Heidelburg, Nuremburg, and Strasbourg among other places along the way. It was nice, but I was exhausted. I have been sleeping a lot the last few days (about 10 hours a night!) and going on long walks, thinking about the next monk book. I am trying to relax a bit but it is taking some effort. I am eager to get in the editing room..but I have to wait for the director’s cut first. I haven’t read a book in ages, so once the monk outline is done, that’s next on my to-do list.