#1 New York Times Bestselling Author & TV Producer
Because I have been swamped with porn spam over the last few days, I am reluctantly forced into delaying the posting of comments pending review. Have no fear — I will continue to allow posts that harshly criticize me, my opinions, and my general lack of talent. I’m only going to delete the spam.
Hopefully, Typepad will soon upgrade their "comments" feature to better filter out the spambots (though I understand that people posting comments through AOL hit a Typepad security filter).
I don’t usually talk politics here…but I thought this cartoon was funny.
(thanks to David Zarkin for the link)
I’m heading down to La Quinta soon for Thanksgiving with my family. My brother Tod and his wife Wendy are hosting the feast this year, to be attended by my mother, my sisters, and their families. I heard that steak and lobster are on the menu, along with some Julian Apple Pies and other assorted diet-busters (alas, no turkey this year). Over the next couple of days, you won’t find me around here muhc, I’ll be hanging out with my Mom at the nickel slots at the Fantasy Springs Casino or catching THE ICE HARVEST (based on our friend Scott’s terrific book) with Tod at the local multiplex.
My sister Linda, co-author of the upcoming book VISUAL CHRONICLES, tells me that the new Neil Diamond CD is now available free on-line for your entirely legal listening pleasure.
My blog is worth $153,554.88.
How much is your blog worth?
My brother Tod got a rave review in today’s LA TIMES.
"I am in The Contraption. My eyes, which the doctor has dilated, are pinned
open.""I’m in a sex shop in San Francisco watching my father buy a
leather jumpsuit for his gay lover.""I was fourteen when I saw the Loch
Ness monster.""My picture of Elvis is bleeding."
"Ira looked
out over the field of combatants, all fifteen hundred of them, and wondered
when, exactly, he’d lost his mind."It’s generally agreed that the
writers’ code of etiquette stipulates time shares in hell for blabby book
reviewers who give away endings. But one trusts that succumbing to the urge to
quote first sentences is at worst a venial offense. In the case of Tod
Goldberg’s new story collection, "Simplify," these lines serve not only to show
how a seductive pull can radiate from a handful of words, they also stand as
markers for certain traits shared among the 12 stories in the novelist’s first
collection: They are almost all told in the first person, the
narrator-protagonist is a boy or young(ish) man, and there is an omnipresence of
bizarre apparitions, as well as uninvited drop-ins from beyond reality.
…when there is Plot-0-Matic? I’ve seen dozens of movies that must have been written with this. Here’s the plot the software generated for me.
Broken
Badges by Lee
Goldberg Action: A renegade cop teams up with the
straightest cop on four continents to investigate dirty cops on the take. In the
process they rescue Parker Posey. By the end of the movie they hijack 5 planes
and end up winning the admiration of their department, living happily ever
after. Think Die Hard meets Goldfinger.
I’m going to start pitching it on Monday. (Thanks to my Uncle Burl for the heads-up)
The International Thriller Writers (ITW) is looking for submissions for awards honoring the best thrillers and suspense stories of 2005. The categories are Best Novel, Best First Novel, Best Original Paperback and Best Screenplay. For more information, contact Jim Rollins or visit the ITW site.
I’ve been busy with odds and ends the last couple of days — going to the doctor, attending HOA meetings, doing booksignings, working on content for the IAMTW website, and plotting the next DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel, which I should already be writing.
Today, my brother Tod and I were guests at Pinky’s Paperhaus, where we talked about our new books SIMPLIFY and THE MAN WITH IRON-ON BADGE and played some music that influenced our writing, all for a podcast that will go live in October. We also teamed up for a clumsy duet of "The Ballad of Irving" (from the 60s comedy album "When You’re in Love, the Whole World is Jewish.") Until you can hear our immortal rendition, here are the lyrics:
I had a big day hit-wise at A Writers Life, so I was curious what people were searching for that brought them here. There were an extraordinary number of people looking for details about Andi McDowell’s breasts, Hunter Tylo’s plastic surgery, Steve Erhardt, Lindsay Lohan’s breasts, and information on Temperance Brennan, the hero of the new series BONES. Here were some of the other searches that brought people here:
"hair dresser Michael Jacks0n Los Angeles cleft chin same surgery"
"Alexander the Great fanfic"
"Obi Wan Kenobi sex"
"Nipples"
"Jeff Lindsay Dexter Literary Agent"
"How to Write a Treatment"
"Author Jan Goldberg" (that had to be my Mom googling herself)
"Tod Goldberg" (that had to be my brother doing his hourly self-google)
"JK Rowling is a plagerist"
"Another bullshit night in suck city + lousy"
"asshole + Lee Goldberg"
"How to sell my book"
"PublishAmerica"
"How to write a sex scene"
"Fanfic + Lee Goldberg"
"Janet Evanovich’s phone number"
"Lord of the Rings real cities on earth"
"mpreg stories"
"mpreg + Spock"
and my name + every science fiction show ever produced (is someone preparing a blog post about my views on sci fi TV?).
