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We’d Be Fools Not To

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I’m a big Robert B. Parker fan. That said, BLUE SCREEN is probably one of his worst books. For one thing, it’s a Sunny Randall novel, his weakest series and a bland imitation of Spenser. And like most Sunny Randall novels, it’s a meandering, uninvolving story that feels as if he was making it up as he went along (at least he only used the phrase "we’d be fools not to"  once in this book and not as the end of a chapter for a change).  Parker has his PI working for a self-involved celebrity (something he’s done several times with Spenser and once before with Sunny), which only adds to the "been there/done that" feeling that pervades this listless book.

But what ultimately makes BLUE SCREEN more than just a disappointing book in a so-so series is that Jesse Stone, the hero of his third ongoing series, is teamed up with Sunny in this story and neutered in the process. Which is a tragedy, because the Jesse Stone books have been (with the exception of SEA CHANGE) Parker at his very best, harkening back to his early Spenser novels.  They’ve also provided the basis for a trio of terrific Tom Selleck TV movies.

The Jesse Stone character in BLUE SCREEN is  cringe-inducing. Then again, just about everything in this book is cringe-inducing, from the cutesy banter to the endless attention given to Sunny’s dog (I won’t even go into the cameo appearance by Susan Silverman).  Unfortunately for us Jesse Stone fans,  the book seems aimed at merging the two series into one, something I hope Parker will reconsider.  We’d be fools not to.

Emmy Nominations Announced

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For the most part, it’s all the same faces and all the same shows in the Emmy nods this year.  I was really hoping that BATTLESTAR GALACTICA would get the recognition it deserves…but the conservative Academy members just aren’t ready to embrace a genre show (as far as I know, BUFFY was largely ignored by the Academy, too). I’m sure it’s the name of the show that makes them cringe and the fact that there are space ships in it. A show with a name like "Battlestar" can’t possibly be worthy of an Emmy statuette for anything except special effects…right? And what about DEADWOOD?

The best drama nominations went to GREY’S ANATOMY, HOUSE, THE SOPRANOS, 24 and THE WEST WING. No surprises there (though they are certainly all deserving of the honor). But c’mon, is there some obscure Emmy rule that THE SOPRANOS and THE WEST WING have to be nominated every year? Those two shows have received accolades again and again… yes, we know they are great shows. It sure would be nice to shake things up a bit and acknowledge other great shows… like BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and DEADWOOD.

That said, I am thrilled to see my friends Terry Winter (SOPRANOS), Howard Gordon (24), and Matt Witten (HOUSE) up for statuettes and to see Tony Shalhoub getting another not for his  great work on MONK.

 

Mr. Monk and the Rave

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The folks over at The Monk Fun Page, the ultimate Monk fan site, have given my book MR. MONK GOES TO HAWAII a rave review.

Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii is filled with inspired goofiness, rich characterizations, an intricate mystery and a lot of fun. You probably won’t want to put it down until it’s over and that’s way too soon.

[…] This one is also told from the perspective of Monk’s assistant Natalie
Teeger. In fact the author has settled so comfortably into her voice you almost
expect to see her name on the cover. This is the kinder, gentler Natalie she’s
grown to be on the show. This is the Natalie I’d like to spend more time with:
funny, strong, loving and vulnerable.

I was thrilled by the review, because I know how discriminating the folks at the Monk Fun Page are when it comes to anything "Monk."  So far, they only spotted one error…but what’s frustrating about it is that it’s a mistake that I know I corrected and yet it still, somehow, got through anyway. Oh well. 

If you’re a Monk fan, you really have to check out the Monk Fun Page...and I’m not just saying that because they’ve been so kind to me and my books. It’s filled with information, interviews, and background on all things Monk.

 

Head Shots

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Posterwire explains the arcane picture approval process for movie posters, which can lead to an actor’s approved head-shot being grafted onto several different bodies.

B0006b2a2o01_ss500_sclzzzzzzz_v109967533Using the same head on different bodies isn’t uncommon (and sometimes a necessary evil).

[…] Most well-known movie stars have approval (either contractually or as a
professional courtesy) over ALL photography of themselves available to
a film’s marketing campaign. For example, when images from a film (in
unit shots, special shoots, etc.) become available, the images are first given to the actor for approval. Contact sheets (also known as proof sheets)
of all the photography are sent to the actor, which are then sent back
with a lot of red Xs — known as "kills" — marked through photos that
the star (or more likely, their manager) don’t want used. This can be
frustrating for designers working on the project if some/most/all of
the best shots are "killed". This power to "kill" can be taken a step
further when a star (or producer, director, etc.) has approval over the
movie poster design of the final one-sheet. This is why one of the
first questions asked by many art directors on many key art projects
is: "Who has approval over this movie poster?"

What I don’t get is why they sometimes airbrush the actor’s face to the point that they barely resemble themselves. Take, for instance, the picture on the left of Tony Shalhoub (click on the picture for a larger image) from one of the Monk DVD sets.  What have they done to his face??

UPDATE 7-7-06: Here’s the original version of the photo used on the DVD box.Monktape_1

“Please, please plunge your magnificent Starsky in my eager Hutch…”

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Every so often, I check out my stats to see how readers are finding their way to this blog… which is how I discovered Hurt/Comfort Recommendations , a site that explores the s&m fantasies of fanficcers who like to see their favorite characters beaten, injured, or stricken with a deadly disease and then sobbed over and soothed, preferably while the characters are nude and sticking their tongues in each other’s orifices. There are several "essays" about hurt/comfort on the site and recommendations to fanfiction like this:

Picking Up The Pieces by Annie (Starsky/Hutch, NC-17)-
This is the definition of yummy for me 🙂 It follows a rather typical
plotline (that I am certainly guilty of following in several stories,
myself) but the overpowering hurt/comfort elements and adorable
characterizations really save this. The hurt at the beginning is
wonderful- it’s got all the elements that I adore. And when the comfort
portion comes around, it does so with understanding and emotion and hot
hot sex. Who could ask for more?

Here’s a sample of the yummy:

"No?" Starsky queried. "How many guys who didn’t love you would touch
you the way I do, as often as I do? How many guys who didn’t love you
would hold you in their arms and let you puke all over them after you’d
been hyped on Horse, huh?" Starsky smiled to take the sting from his
words but his eyes were grave and steady. "How many guys who didn’t
love you would be so glad when they found you alive pinned under your
car that it was all they could do not to kiss you then and there? Huh?
Tell me, babe. How many?" He leaned forward and slowly pressed his
mouth to Hutch’s, placing the lightest of caresses there.

I’m ready to puke and I’m not even hyped on Horse.  Just imagine her take on how Huggy Bear earned his name…

The Age of Instant Video Is Here

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I don’t usually rave about products on this blog, but I can’t contain my enthusiasm for this nifty new gadget that we bought our daughter for her birthday. It’s the Pure Digital Point-and-Shoot Video Camcorder. It’s the size of an iPod and every bit as simple and ingenious. You just point and shoot. It’s that easy. There’s nothing to learn. (It’s also cheap…$125 at your local Target store or on Amazon). There’s a record button, a play button, and a delete button.  And a little rocker button that doubles as a zoom and volume control. You can watch videos instantly on the tiny color screen. The Point-and-Shoot runs on two AA batteries, holds 30 minutes of video, and plugs into your computer with it’s built-in USB cable (and, if you like, automatically loads easy-to-use video playback, management, and emailing software on your hard-drive). Within seconds, and I mean seconds, you can email your videos all over the planet.  It’s amazing. One minute after she unwrapped the present, my daughter became the next Sofia Coppola, directing epics all over the house.  I don’t understand why this wonderful product hasn’t become the Next Big Thing…or am I so out-of-touch that it already has and I missed it?

Thrillerfest Day Three

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Day three  — or was it day four? I’ve lost track with so many hours in the sun and 11o-degree heat — was a lot of fun. But again, I spent more time hanging out at the Biltmore than I did attending panels. And most of the time I spent talking to readers and other authors was either in the pool or sitting around the pool.  I was on a lively panel with Dale Brown (who flew himself in from Tahoe in his private plane for the day), Erica Spindler, Diane Vogt and Brad Meltzer — but with Goldberg luck, we were up against Clive Cussler, so attendance was sparse. Still, we had fun. During the day, I chatted with Raymond Benson, Harley Kozak, Jeremiah Healy, Sandy Balzo, Richard Hawke (Tim Cockey), David Montgomery, Paul Guyot, and, of course, my fellow panelists before and after our panel. I was particularly impressed by  Brad, who has successfully branched out into comic books and television. He’s also a genuinely nice guy who, it seemed to me,  made every reader he met feel like his close friend (I guess that would include me, too). My daughter Maddie was thrilled because several people asked her to sign their copies of THRILLER (dozens of people came up to her to tell her how impressed they were by her question to R.L. Stine, which embarrassed and thrilled her).

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I can’t say enough good things about the Arizona Biltmore. The rooms, the service, the food, the location, the grounds, the architecture, everything about the place was great. We skipped the awards banquet last night. Instead, we went to dinner for a third time at Sam’s Cafe, where my wife sweet-talked the waitress into sweet-talking the chef into giving us the seasoning for their steaks and ribs. Not only did they give us a big sample, they also wrote down a list of exactly what we were getting.  Then we hurried back to the hotel, where they were playing SPY KIDS 2 on a big screen above the pool and serving S’Mores by a roaring campfire.  My daughter floated in the pool, watching the movie and eating  S’Mores…after a day of playing on the water slide (And she met R.L. Stine here). I think the Arizona Biltmore may have replaced Disneyland as the place she’d like to live.

The convention was great — smoothly run, interesting, and a lot of fun. But I can’t helpP6280126
wondering if it was more of a "author’s convention" than a fan convention. It seemed to me that the authors either out-numbered, or equalled, the number of civilians in attendence. That’s not a bad thing, but I think it will shape how the programming is planned for Thrillerfest 2007 in New York. If they want more "civilians," they will probably need to come up with more innovative ways to allow fans to interact with authors. I told ITW big-wig David Dun about what Joan Hansen has done with Men of Mystery, and that they might want to use her program as a template for a luncheon at the next Thrillerfest. He seemed intrigued…or maybe I had barbecue sauce on my chin.

I’ll share some pictures from Thrillerfest in a day or two (I have to wait to get most of’em from Diane Vogt. In the meantime, here’s an out-of-focus picture of Brad Meltzer, me, and Erica Spindler and another photo of the Naked Bookseller at Reader’s Oasis in Quartzsite, AZ…notice my daughter in the background, aghast). 

Thrillerfest Day Two

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Today my daughter Madison went to the conference with me — she wanted to see R.L. Stine. But first we attended an informative and amusing panel with Lee Child, Michael Palmer and Alex Kava called Thriller Writers Who Write Thrilling Stuff or something like that. I don’t remember. But all the authors were great. Lee said that he already knew the title of his final Jack Reacher story. "It will be called ‘Die Lonely’ and Reacher will be dismembered," he said. "There will be no chance for resurrection for him and I’ll retire." (That’s a quote from memory, so forgive me if it’s not exact).

After that I met the lovely and gracious Tess Gerritsen, who signed a book for me, and then it was off to the R.L Stine luncheon. We ran into Stine outside the ballroom and he was kind enough to sign all of Maddie’s books and chat with her a bit about writing. M. Diane Vogt took a picture of Maddie and Stine together, which was a real thrill for my daughter. Afterwards, though, Maddie was upset that she forgot to ask him the question that she’d been waiting a year to ask. I told her it was okay, I’m sure there would be a question-and-answer session after his presentation.

Sure enough, there was. Maddie nudged me and told me to raise my hand for her.  But as soon as the guy brought the microphone over, Maddie froze. "You ask for me, Daddy," and she thrust the book in my hand.

So I did.  It’s the story of a mermaid who is captured by bad guys and held captive in an aquarium. There’s a part that didn’t make sense to Maddie, so I read it aloud.  The mermaid is so sad, the hero can see tears running down her cheeks. Maddie’s question was: "How can he see tears if she is underwater?"

The audience laughed and Stine did, too. His reply was that the mermaid has to come up for air some time — that must have been one of those times. Of course, Maddie whispers to me "She wasn’t coming up for air, tell him!" I didn’t. The moderator asked Stine if he wanted to take any more questions and, laughing, he said that last question was enough.

Several people afterwards thanked Maddie for asking her good question. But a few others walked past me, shaking their heads in disapproval. I don’t think Stine was embarrassed by the question. He’s a guy who clearly enjoys a good laugh. If he wasn’t, I might have hesitated before passing along her query.  But it was a question she really wanted to ask and it was a fair one. I wanted her to learn that it’s okay to ask questions when you don’t understand something.

I know that Thrillfest has thrilled my daughter so, for me, the convention is a big success.