My Blog

Publication is Like Death

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Elizabeth Royte writes in today’s NY Times about the misery of getting, and being, published.

For any writer, the publication of a book, labored over for years, is an
exciting event. But excitement is a fleeting emotion, and the business of
publicizing the book, so that it sells and the author can earn out his advance,
quickly displaces any initial euphoria. The writer then embarks on a tortured
journey toward acceptance of the fact, several months after publication, that
his book isn’t going to vault him into the empyrean of fame, or even improve his
life. At the intersection of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief and
Stendhal’s stages of love, the contemporary author trudges along a predictable
path that can only be described, in hindsight, as self-induced misery.

Roald Dahl Would Be So Pleased

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There’s nothing more complimentary to an author than fanfic…or so I am told by fanficcers. I can only imagine how flattered Roald Dahl would be by this Willy Wonka fanfic:

Mr
Salt and Mr Wonka had only been standing like that, caught in a
mutual stare, for a couple of seconds. It only felt like much longer
for both of them, and someone was bound to end it.

Willy did. “P…” he mouthed quite inaudibly, “p…” and then
helplessly slid to his knees before Mr Salt, embracing him like that.
Quite the picture of Hamlet in his renaissance bob and velvet coat he
tried to rest his chin against Mr Salt’s groin, which put his head
in a rather awkward angle due to the brim of his top hat being in the
way.

(Thanks to Brad for the link)

Breaking In

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Author Joe Konrath talks about the advice he gave to an aspiriing writer…and what happened next. It’s an inspiring story, not just for writers trying to break in, but for everyone who writes books. I wish more aspiring writers would find motivation from stories like this than from the get-rich-quick/get-published-quick come-on of  self-publishing.

I wonder if they go easier in Bahrain on adults who have sex with kids

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The Los Angeles Times reports that Michael Jackson is moving to the Middle East.

Attorney Thomas A. Mesereau Jr. declined to comment on local speculation that
Jackson planned to sell Neverland ranch, but said the singer is very happy in
his new home.

"He’s looking much better. He’s with his children, and
he’s moving on in life," Mesereau said. "He’s living permanently in Bahrain. He
has friends there who have been very loyal and helpful to him in a difficult
period of his life."

Bring Back Those Precocious Kids

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Remember when all the kid characters on TV were smart-ass and wise-beyond-their years? It got to be really irritating…but it was a hell of a lot easier to take than the kids on TV today. They are all  insufferable morons. Take, for example, the two imbeciles on SURFACE who are raising an alien monster in their bathtub…and let it endanger the lives of family and friends. We are supposed to find them wacky and endearing. I just want to kick in the T.V.  Or how about that  whiny teenage girl on COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF who resents her Mom for being President of the United States? She’s upset she has to attend events like, oh, her mother’s swearing in as President or a reception for the Russian President instead of hanging out with her friends ("Other kids don’t have to go to their parents’ business dinners!"). This is supposed to make us relate to the First Family as being people like us. Yeah, right. Me, and the rest of America,  fast-forward through those scenes to the next shot of Donald Sutherlands sneering and twirling his mustache (yes, I know he doesn’t have a mustache…but it’s there, it’s just invisible).

Bring back those precocious kids of yesteryear. Please. I’m begging you.

The Invasion Continues

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ABC has renewed INVASION for the full season. This means that so far two of the three "alien invastion shows" this season have survived…SURFACE will resurface for a back-nine, but CBS hasn’t decided if they’ve hit their threshold of THRESHOLD though they have ordered three scripts. The script order doesn’t mean much. I’ve been on shows where they’ve ordered more scripts — SEAQUEST and SPENSER FOR HIRE come to mind —  and we still got cancelled. Scripts aren’t that expensive. The alphabet net (that’s Variety-speak for ABC)  hasn’t decided whether it wants more of THE NIGHT STALKER yet.

NBC has ordered three additions scripts for the ratings-challenged E-RING, but hasn’t yet pushed the button on shooting nine more episodes.

Hooray For Gayle

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Variety reports today that CBS is making a mini-series out of  "Robert Ludlum’s Covert One: The Hades
Factor," a book that was co-written by my friend Gayle Lynds. The four-hour miniseries will star
Mira Sorvino, Stephen Dorff and Anjelica Huston.

Larry Sanitsky ("The Last Don") and Paul Sandberg ("The Bourne Supremacy")
are aboard to exec produce the project, which will lense in Toronto, Paris and
Berlin. Project will be available for broadcast later this season, though CBS
has not yet determined an airdate.

Elwood Reid ("Blind Justice") wrote the script for "Covert One: The Hades
Factor," adapting it from the 2000 novel by Ludlum and Gayle Lynds.

Sanitsky and German producer Tandem announced plans for "Hades" in spring at
MIP,  but no network, stars or helmer were attached (Daily Variety, April
12).

Ludlum’s bestselling series of "Covert One" novels revolves around a secret
intelligence agency consisting of political and tech experts who fight
corruption and conspiracy, reporting directly to the U.S. president.

Dorff will play Col. Jonathan Smith, a disease specialist and ex-agent of
Covert One whose fiancee has been killed by an Ebola-like virus spreading around
the world. When it turns out the virus may have been deliberately spread, the
president — played by Huston — orders a cover-up.

Sorvino will play Rachel Russell, a Covert One agent who goes missing after
killing two men.

Colm Meaney ("Star Trek: The Next Generation") will play a former spy and
friend of Smith’s, Blair Underwood ("LAX") the No. 2 official at Covert One.