My Blog

Pitching a Series

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I just got back from a pilot pitch over at CBS.  It went about as
well as you can hope for. I was happy, enthusiastic, and energetic in
the pitch and the execs we met with were laughing and engaged and
asking all the right questions. When we left, they thanked us for the
pitch and said it was "exhilirating," which is exactly the feeling we hope
the series — if they order a pilot script — will evoke. I don’t know whether or not
they’ll buy it, but at least I know we left a good impression that will
serve us well the next time we come in.

Speaking of pilot pitches, screenwriter John Rogers talks today about pitching TV series and working the room.

Remember what a pitch is for. You are a writer. If they were hiring you based on
your writing, then you’d know what the hell to do. Once you’re typing, you’re in
your element. But this is you convincing them to pay you to write the script.
The pitch has to be a very clean little description of an idea so intriguing,
they want to read the script for it. Yes, it has to make sense as a show, too,
but focus. Don’t let the pitch become bigger in your mind than it is.

In
its purest form TV pilot pitch addresses two questions: “Why should we put this
show on the air?” and “How will this show stay on the air?” *

Start, as always, with your hook.
Be it the high-concept pitch sentence, a vivid description of the opening shot –
PUNCH. No longer than a short paragraph.

I agree with almost everything he says in his post, though I think
he’s still coming at this like a screenwriter first, TV-writer second.
A series is 22 stories a year for five years. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend opening your pitch with the opening shot of the pilot. Nor do I think you should pitch the plot of the pilot. You’re pitching the series… the franchise…not
one single story (unless that opening shot is what sets up the entire
series, like, say aliens invading earth or the hero getting his
super-powers). I tend to focus on the story-engine (the conflicts and
situations that will drive every episode) short sketches of the
characters (who they are and how they relate to the franchise) and,
more than anything, trying to get across the feel of the show, so they have the visceral sensation of watching it as I’m pitching it (though without a specific plot or story).

If you boil your pitch down to the punchiest bits, you’ll find that you’ll be
able to move at a comfortable, confident clip regardless of reaction. If the
execs keep interrupting you to ask questions – well then, you should be so
lucky.

That’s great advice. In fact, John is loaded with great advice. If
you’re trying to get into the screenwriting or TV game, I highly
recommend frequent visits to his blog.

The Self-Deluded, Part II

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It’s amazing to me the extent to which vanity press authors  delude themselves into thinking they aren’t vanity press authors. The latest example comes from the current issue of CRIMESPREE magazine, one of my favorite publications. Sandra Tooley wrote a column entitled "Self-Publishing Myths," in which she attempts to debunk "the misconceptions about self-publishing." The astonishing thing is that, rather than debunk the "myths," she manages to substantiate every one of them.  I’m sure Sandra is a very nice lady, but reading her column is a painful and cringe-inducing experience. It’s like watching a fall-down drunk arguing that he’s sober even as he vomits on your shoes.

The first "myth" she targets is that "writers self-publish because no one else will publish them." She says the real reasons  come down to time ("not all writers have the finances or time to devote toward promoting a large print run..and they have home and family obligations"), age ("playing the query-letter two step game for ten or fifteen years just isn’t in some writer’s goals for the future"), patience ("you can have your book out in six months or less"), total control ("Self-publishing allows the writer the creative freedom to publishwhat he wants when he wants") and rights ("A self-published author can keep all the rights").

Let’s tackle her first argument — that self-published authors simply don’t have the time and money to devote to promotion (but they do have the bucks to pay to have their work printed in book form).  If you "publish" (and I use that term loosely)  a POD novel, it’s not going to sell if you don’t promote it. So what’s the point of doing it in the first place…besides printing your manuscript in book form for yourself? She’s arguing that there are authors out there who would would rather pay to print their book POD  than be  paid  by Simon & Schuster for the right to publish and widely distribute their work… just to avoid having to do any promotion. That hypothetical author would have to be a complete moron. 

The other arguments about age, patience and control simply justify what has  always been said about vanity press authors — they have neither the patience nor the perseverance to be professional writers. They just want to see their work printed in something resembling a book as quickly as possible so they can call themselves authors.

That said, Sandra later contradicts herself in many respects.

She says that "print on demand is a printing process NOT a publishing process," and on that point, we agree. So why do vanity press writers consider themselves "published authors" and get pissed off when they aren’t accorded the same respect as authors published by traditional publishers?

Sandra goes on to say that when going the POD route, "marketing is mostly up to the author." Wait a minute…I thought authors went the POD route, not because they can’t sell their book to a publisher, but because they had neither the time nor money to devote to marketing and promotion?

And finally, she concludes her column with:

"…to the determined writer who refuses to believe his book is too similar to THE DAVINCI CODE to be marketable, and to all frustrated writers buried in form rejection letters, take heart knowing giving up is no longer an option."

In other words, if no one else will publish you, you can self-publish.  So what’s her final conclusion? That the "myth" that writers self-publish because no one else will publish them is true! (Did she even read her own column after she wrote it??).

This kind of labored reasoning — no,  self-delusion — is typical among vanity press authors. It’s   truly sad to see…unless you work for iUniverse, PublishAmerica, and xlibris.   

Who Will Be Bond?

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Pierce7_1DanielcraigJmm_charmed013Henry004The web is abuzz as Sony zeros in on the  actor who will portray 007 in CASINO ROYALE, which is being written by Paul Haggis for a "28-year-old Bond." Media reports, like the one at the UK’s Teen Today,  say it’s down to  Daniel Craig ("Layer Cake"), Julian McMahon ("Nip/Tuck"), and Henry Cavill ( "Hellraiser: Hellworld") while the folks at Commanderbond.net say the choice is between Craig…or Pierce Brosnan. Yes, Brosnan, who was let go by Eon (the Bond producers) and was harshly critical of the franchise in subsequent news reports, is reportedly back in the running.

A CBn source says Daniel
Craig remains Eon’s "preferred" choice for the role, and could still turn
out to be the man in gunbarrel. However, the edgy "Layer
Cake" actor may be considered too much of a commercial risk for Sony
Pictures. Eon’s attempts to find a convincing twenty-something actor appear to
have failed, and with only 12 weeks to go before that start of principle
photography, Eon and Campbell may have to abandon their ambitions to reinvent
the franchise via Ian Fleming’s first novel and quickly rework it into Pierce
Brosnan’s final James Bond film.

 

Mysteries of Tie-in Writing Revealed

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Want to know how to become a tie-in writer? Do you need an agent to break into the tie-in field? What kind of deadlines do tie-in writers have to meet? How do the writers approach characters descriptions and backstory? What kind of royalties do tie-in writers get? What is better — fighting for royalties or accepting a flat-fee? These are just a few of the intriguing business and craft questions tackled and answered in the  articles  posted today at the International Association of Media Tie-In Writers (IAMTW) website.

That New Book Smell

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1594143722My author’s copies of THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE arrived today. There is nothing like opening that box and seeing all those copies of your book. Unlike seeing your writing credit on TV, it’s a moment that never loses its charge. When you can take that book out of the box and stick it on your shelf, that’s when it all becomes real.

To be honest, I had real doubts this day would ever come. There was quite a while there when I wondered if the manuscript was destined to end up in a desk drawer. Even if it had, I couldn’t complain too much — in some ways, it’s been the most financially lucrative novel I’ve written. A script I based on it got me the gig to write the DAME EDNA movie. Although the movie wasn’t made,  I wrote the script and the check cleared.

Now that BADGE has come out, and received the best reviews of my career, I figure everything else is gravy.

True Self-Publishing

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When actor Jack Klugman decided to self-publish TONY AND ME, his memoir of working with Tony Randall, he didn’t go the POD/PublishAmerica route (which isn’t so much publishing a book as having it printed in book format). He decided to truly self-publish…he invested $500,000 and created an actual publishing house, headed by his son Adam (a veteran advertising exec) and hired industry professionals to staff it. According to the story in Publishers Weekly, the initial print run for TONY AND ME is 100,000 copies, back by a 19-city author tour and a 30-second television commerical airing on TVLand, among other venues.

"I didn’t know the first thing about how to produce a quality book or what
the industry standards were," admitted [Adam] Klugman. The first consulting firm he
used merely gave him what he asked for, instead of telling him what he needed to
do. At BEA, Klugman brought on Sally Dedecker, who advised him on how to handle
such thorny issues as book size, binding, paper stock, margins, photo layouts,
book tours and distribution. "I thought you hired a distributor and they put all
your books into bookstores," said Klugman. "What I found out is that they choose
you as much as you choose them."

Client Distribution Services is now on board to distribute the title and
publicist Roger Bilheimer is helping to promote the book, which was released
last week. "If we’re a success, it’s because I hired publishing veterans who
were able to do about 18 months’ worth of work in just six months," Klugman
said.

This is still a vanity press publication, but Jack has  got a few things going for him that most aspiring writers who choose this route don’t have — fame, money and the smarts to hire industry pros (instead of relying on get-rich-quick-Internet-hucksters). If the book sells, Good Hill Press will broaden beyond their one title to publish others as well.

The Self-Deluded

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An author  is auctioning off the film-rights to his PublishAmerica novel LAS CRUCES on Ebay for a minimum bid of $1.3 million…and has issued a press release touting the non-event. Keep in mind, the book hasn’t sold for the amount, or anything close to it. It’s what he’s dreaming of getting.  But you wouldn’t know that from his press release.

The book’s author seemed astonished at how fast things were
moving for [his novel] LAS CRUCES.  "I’m genuinely surprised, and of course elated at the
strong response to this book since it debuted this summer," said J.T. Fisher,
"there are so many great books being published all the time, it’s almost
unbelievable there’s an opportunity to see Las Cruces go to the film market so
soon.  When I initially heard about it – and the shock wore off – I jumped at
it!"

He’s shocked? Does he have a split personality that forgot to inform his other personalities that he’d put his book up on Ebay? And what’s so "unbelievable" about the opportunity? Anybody with an Internet connection can auction something off on Ebay. I could auction my dirty underwear and set a minimum bid of $1.3 million. It doesn’t mean anybody but me thinks my leather speedo is worth that much. It doesn’t legitimize my underwear…or, in J.T.’s case, his novel.  But J.T.  is clearly heavy into self-delusion. Regard this snippet from his press release:

Effective October 1, 2005, worldwide film and video rights will be offered in a
record setting auction on Ebay for Las Cruces, the top debut novel of 2005. 

The "top debut novel" according to who, exactly? The author? The author’s mom? PublishAmerica? And people wonder why vanity press books and their authors don’t get any respect…

(Thanks to Chris Well for the heads-up)

GUNSMOKE on DVD

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Gunsmoke_50thann_v1TVShowsOnDVD.Com reports that in early January Paramount will release twoGunsmoke_50thann_v2 DVD boxed sets of classic GUNSMOKE episodes. If you’ve been a reader of this blog, you know I’m a sucker for this show. The sets are packed with extras, including commentaries (by James Arness), bloopers, behind-the-scenes footage, talk show appearances and much more.