Writing

When a Reward Isn’t a Reward

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I love anecdotes like the one writer/producer Earl Pomerantz shares on his blog today about the "reward" CBS gave him for the success of his sitcom MAJOR DAD:

Maybe you can help figure out what the reward was. I still don’t get it.
The deal went like this: I would write two scripts as the prototypes for two television series. CBS would guarantee that one of those scripts would be produced as a pilot.
Unless they didn’t like either of them. (Oops. There goes the guarantee.)
If they were unhappy with both shows, as a consequence of, you know, obliterating the guarantee, CBS would be required to pay a financial penalty.
To the studio I was working for.
Not to me.

They don't teach you about this sort of  stuff in film school…which is a shame, because that's the kind of knowledge you really need to know to survive in this business. I'm still trying to learn it myself…

Get PSYCHed Out

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William Rabkin's first tie-in novel PSYCH: A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO READ comes out today. It's also his first novel of any kind, so I think it merits mention and a hearty CONGRATULATIONS!  The book is absolutely hilarious and sharply plotted…and I'm not just saying that because he's my oldest friend and we've written together for twenty-some years (including an episode of PSYCH). If you are looking for a few hours of belly laughs and a clever, twisty mystery, I strongly recommend the book. 

UPDATE: Bookgasm gives the book a rave review. They say, in part:

Truly capturing the show’s manic energy, the book feels like a super-sized episode with some touches that might have been toned down if this were translated to the screen.[…]Rabkin, who has written for the show, seems to have a lot of fun playing with these characters and throwing in enough pop-culture references to delight the fans — particularly any child of the ’70s and ’80s. This being the first of the tie-in novels, I can only hope they let Rabkin continue, since he truly understands not only the relationship of the characters, but his pacing and their voices come through so clear in his style.

The Business Lunch, R.I.P.?

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I guess that next time I see my editor, I'm the one who is going to have to buy us lunch. The New York Times reports:

Nobody expects one of the staples of the business — the long lunch — to die off completely because of these straitened circumstances. But publishers, editors and literary agents, who have often been among the best diners in the city, are now reconsidering their favorite restaurants.
“We’ve all naturally been thinking about whether it’s absolutely essential to have a lunch here or there,” Mr. Burnham added, “or whether it can be a phone call or a meeting.”

Murder One Murdered

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Bookseller reports the very sad news that owner/author Maxim Jakubowski's legendary Murder One bookstore on Charing Cross Road in London is closing down, a victim of plunging sales.

"Over the last few years our sales have deterioriated," he said. "I was planning to retire this year, but this is earlier than expected. For the benefit of staff, publishers and suppliers, I would rather close the shop now and go out voluntarily with my head held high and no debts."

It was a great store with a knowledgeable, mystery-loving staff. I visited the store whenever I happened to be in London, which was every two or three years (though I managed to stop in three or four times in 2006-2007). I always left with an armful of books. I discovered a lot of great authors there over the years…and not just U.K. folks like Val McDermid, Ian Rankin, and Derek Raymond. My introduction to U.S. author Daniel Woodrell's work was a UK edition of THE ONES YOU DO that Maxim recommended to me. London isn't going to be the same for me without Murder One.

You can find lots of tributes to the store at Sarah Weinman's site.

Donald Westlake

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Donald Westlake not only wrote great books that entertained millions of people, he wrote books that inspired people to become authors. All you have to do is look at all the heart-felt tributes from authors in the aftermath of Westlake's death yesterday to discover that. 

My brother Tod and I met Westlake a few years ago at the after-party for the Los Angeles Times Book Awards. We gathered up our courage and nervously approached him. We only meant to say hello, to tell him how much we loved his work, and then hurry along so as not to take up his time. But he engaged us in a conversation about writing, publishing and the movie business that lasted well over an hour (at one point, author Denise Hamilton joined us, too). He regaled us with funny, shocking, and revealing anecdotes from his long career in publishing and film. It was amazing. Many times during the conversation I met Tod's eye and I knew we were sharing the same thought:  I can't believe we are having this conversation with Donald Westlake!  (I found out later that Denise was thinking the same thing). Now it's impossible for us to attend the Los Angeles Times Book Festival without remembering that wonderful night…and that great writer, who also happened to be a hell of a nice guy. 

I am going to miss him.

UPDATE: My brother Tod shares his memories of an excellent panel he moderated with Westlake (I'd forgotten about that) and our conversation with him at the party…though he seems to think the chat we had lasted for three hours. The truth is, it doesn't matter how long the conversation was…because for Tod and I, it won't end, the memory and its influence will stay with us for years. And that's how I will measure it.

[…]the really cool thing was that it wasn't just that
Westlake was pontificating, he was asking us stuff, too, we were
actually talking to Donald Westlake and he seemed perfectly
content, never mind that Lee and I were very nearly slobbering fools in
his presence. He was sweet, effusive and told us great stories for an
entire evening and then Lee and I sat in the car on the way home and
repeated all of the stories back to each other, as if we hadn't both
experienced them together.

Mysterical-E is Tied In

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Gerald So's column at Mysterical-E today is an appreciation of media tie-ins. He writes, in part:

A common misconception is that tie-ins are poorly or quickly
written, and while some have seemed that way to me, as my reading
tastes have matured, I've been able to choose better-written material.
What makes me personally pick up a tie-in novel or comic book these
days? The author has to have some experience writing for the original
medium and the new one, as Monk novelist Lee Goldberg has with USA
Network's Monk. Because Goldberg has written for the show, and because
he is a novelist in his own right, he's well suited to bring Monk to
the page.

[…]In
some ways, tie-in writing is more difficult than creating characters
and a story from scratch. Tie-in writers have to deliver the best of
both worlds: what the existing fan base enjoys about the original
concept and what the new fan base expects from the new concept. For
example, Tod Goldberg's first tie-in, Burn Notice: The Fix
delivered the wry spycraft from the TV show but also delivered an
intricate plot better suited to a novel than to TV's usual 44 minutes.

Thanks, Gerald!

The Mail I Get – NCIS Edition

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I got this very long email from someone who would like NCIS to do an episode about something she experienced as an employee on a cruise ship. It read, in small part:

I'm sure that you get emails like this all the time. I have an idea for an episode of NCIS. I have been searching around the internet trying to figure out how to actually make this happen, and I came across your website. Before you read this, you should know that I am a very. persistant person. […]I used to work onboard a cruise ship. In a nutshell, I witnessed something bad happen in December 2007 at the hands of my boss, my boss's boss, and the onboard Human Resources manager. I tried to report it to someone I thought I could trust, but I apparently trusted the wrong person. She forwarded my emails in its entirety to the gentlemen that I had named, and then things got REALLY bad. I wish they just fired me (I actually resigned), but it was much worse than that. To make a long story short…

She didn't make it short…or comprehensible. She went on for another few thousand words and I still don't understand what happened or if it was even a crime. She went on and on to say, in part:

I would like to pitch the story idea to a writer to create an episode for NCIS. People should be aware of what goes on, and that it can be unsafe in international waters. […]And to answer you next question, which I presume is "Why would the NCIS team investigate something on a cruise ship", I figure that the husband character could have been a former Marine (many cruise ship employees are)[…]Can you help point me in the right direction? I'd like to see the story told. To prove to you that I am not a crazy person, I work for a prestigious film festival.

I was skeptical about her, but once she said she worked at a prestigious film festival, I knew she was cool because nobody unstable, or with unrealistic expectations about the TV business, ever work for film festivals.

I politely told her that I couldn't help her and that there was virtually no way that she'd be able to sell her story to NCIS (not that I could figure out what the heck her story actually was). I suggested that she might have better luck getting her story out, and do more good, by going to a newspaper reporter rather a TV show about fictional detectives.

She got back to me right away with a lengthy, and yet sketchy, explanation of why she couldn't go to the press but could go to a TV cop show to get her message out. She is determined to get NCIS, or some other detective show, to hear her story

I have no interest in selling the story — I don't need, nor want, any money for it. And I'm not crazy enough to think that I would actually write the script. I am very good at what I do, but writing is not what I do. But I do know that the screenwriters get their ideas from somewhere — so I guess what I need is for one of the decision makers to be stumped for story ideas one day, and turn to my story for inspiration.

She vowed to press on and not be discouraged. I thought about writing her back and saying that there's a reason that they say that the stories on shows like LAW AND ORDER, NCIS, and CSI are "ripped from the headlines." Because that's where they get their inspiration, from the news, not from people sending in their personal stories of crime and conspiracy (if that is, indeed, what her story is about). But I decided to let it drop.

Writers Write

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Office
James Reasoner is one of the most prolific authors that I know…he's had hundreds of books published, mostly in the western genre. And yet very few people know who he is. Why? Because the majority of those books don't have his name on them (they were written under "house names" owned by the publisher or a literary estate).

For a lot of authors, the most important thing to them is seeing their name on the cover. But for James (pictured on the left hard at work), the most important thing is to make a living writing, something he loves to do and is very good at:

At one point in my career, I had published more than eighty books, only one of which (TEXAS WIND) had my name on it. People used to ask me how I could write a book knowing that my name wouldn’t be on it, and my stock answer was “I don’t care if my name is on the book as long as it’s on the check.”
Of course, that’s not exactly true now and wasn’t then. I’d love to be able to just write what I want, sell it, and have my name on it. But being able to keep writing, period, is more important to me.

It's a refreshing…and dare I say it, professional…attitude that you don't find much today. So many aspiring writers rush to self-publishing companies simply because they want the experience of seeing their name on a book cover, even if they have to spend thousands of dollars to do it. But James is different. He's a real writer and a true professional. I wish there were more like him:

There are dozens of books out there now with my name on them, and I’m thankful for Reasoner1
each and every one of them. I hope there’ll be more in the future. But as long as I can keep writing, one way or the other, I’ll be okay. That’s just me. I don’t really think that’s the only way to carve out a career – I’m sure every author has a different approach – but I feel like I’ve played the cards that were dealt to me and won more than I’ve lost.

I know how he feels. I think I may have told this story here before, but…a couple of years ago, it was down to Bill Rabkin & me against one other candidate for the co-exec producer job on a major hit series. The showrunner couldn't choose between the us and the other guy. So we met with the studio chief, who would be deciding who ultimately got the job. The interview was going great, and I was feeling real good about our chances, until the studio chief said:

"I only have on reservation about you two. Why don't you have sexier credits?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Why haven't you ever worked on Law and Order or CSI?"

"Because we never had the opportunity, either because we were working on something else when they had openings or they weren't interested in hiring us when we were available," I said. "In the course of our career, we didn't have the luxury of picking and choosing our jobs as much as we would have liked. We have families and had to make a living so we took what came along and what interested us. But if you like us, our writing, our producing philosophy, and the way we tell stories, what difference does it make whether we worked on CSI or Diagnosis Murder?"

We might also have mentioned that our friend Terry Winter was working on SISTER SISTER when he got hired on the SOPRANOS, where he won Emmys and WGA Awards. His previous credits include THE NEW ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER and XENA. Not exactly the sexiest credits.

Well, it goes without saying that we didn't get the job. They hired someone with sexier credits. And fired him thirteen episodes later.

I like seeing my name in print and on the TV screen, but I consider myself first and foremost a working, professional writer. I write because I love it, but I also write to earn a living. Sometimes my creative or personal desires have to take a backseat to simply having a job. I don't think that Terry or I wrote for FLIPPER because we had a burning need to tells stories about a clever dolphin. We did it because writing is what we do and how we pay our bills.

UPDATE 12-20-2008: Bill Crider reviews James Reasoner's latest LONGARM novel (written under the house name "Tabor Evans.") And here's a Saddlebums review of one of Reasoner's 2007 LONGARM tales and an interview they did with him.

The Mail I Get — Still More!

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I have two pieces of mail to share with you today. First off is this query from an aspiring screenwriter in Germany:

I am trying to collect experience in "stoffentwicklung" what might be similar to the expression "scriptwriting" for movies and television. I had the Idea to got to Los Angeles- Hollywood to do a trainee, but I really don't know if this is
common in the same way as it is here in Germany. I would be very greatfull if
you could help me on this.

I replied:

I'm not aware of all the trainee opportunities in screenwriting in L.A…but the few that I know about are highly competitive. You would be competing against graduates of the film schools at UCLA, USC and NYU, to name a few. And I suspect the trainee programs are more likely to take a U.S. writer than one from Europe. That said, it couldn't hurt to apply anyway. All it will cost you is a stamp or a click.

I got the following email from a writer who says he's trying to decide whether or not to self-publish his novel. But  it seems to me from his note that he has already decided to self-publish and is trying to justify his decision to himself:

I am an aspiring and intelligent writer who is aware that there are so many less-than-honest companies. Do you despise all self publishing or do you see the value in some authors deciding to self publish? Are there any companies in particular that you have found success with? Do you know approximately how many legitimate literary agents are available in the US and how many manuscripts they take on per year? I know that there are relatively unknown authors that do get the opportunity to publish but is there an average advancement amount that is given to a first timer? How is the figure decided? I am passionate about what I have written and I do not want the manuscript, characters, places, etc to be altered in any way. Can I get a guarantee from a traditional publisher that my work will not be manipulated or misconstrued?

Here's how I replied:

I don't know how many legitimate literary agents there are, or how many manuscripts are published each year, or what the average advance is for new writers. It's irrelevant anyway. It sounds to me like you are asking those questions to justify a decision you've already made to hand over your credit card to a vanity press. What you're implying is that it's just too damn hard to break in… and you don't want to make the effort. And since, on top of that, you refuse to even consider editing your work in any way, then yes, I think it's unlikely that you will find an agent or a publisher.

Why? Because no agent is likely to represent a newbie writer as inflexible  as you appear to be…unless, of course, your work is
mind-blowingly spectacular and amazingly commercial.  And while a real publisher won't edit your work without your consent…they also won't publish it if you are unwilling to make the changes they think are necessary.

So if what you want is your manuscript to be printed in a form resembling a book without any editing whatsoever, then hell yes, call iUniverse right away. You won't sell any copies, and it will cost you a small fortune, but at least it will be printed in book form without any chance of rejection, editing…or  advances and sales. But hey, at least you will have done it your way and avoided any chance of someone telling you something you don't want to hear.

You are, in fact, exactly the kind of person vanity presses pray for…not only do they like the desperate and naive, they also appreciate people whose high opinion of their own work is only matched by their fear of rejection and lack of fortitude.

Do I despise all self-publishing? No, I don't. I despise the vanity presses that prey on the stupidity and desperation of aspiring authors and swindle them out of their money. And I have little patience for newbie writers who are so intent on finding a short-cut that they blind themselves to obvious scams.

Self-publishing is rarely a wise idea for fiction but it can work with non-fiction, especially if you have a strong platform from which to publicize and sell the book,  like teaching a class, hosting a TV or radio show, preaching to a congregation, touring as a speaker, running seminars, etc.

A Day in the Life

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In many ways, today was pretty much a typical working day when I'm not on a show. 

I began by returning a call from Germany from Peter Bondy, the writer who translates my MONK books for my German publisher. He had some questions about MR. MONK IS MISERABLE, which is he just about finished translating. I alway enjoy talking to him and really appreciate that he takes the extra effort to double-check names, jokes, and references with me before making any changes. 

I answered some emails and then I called a studio executive to make sure he had everything he needed on the written version of a series treatment before he takes it out to possible c0-production partners in January. He did. I wished him a happy holiday and we made plans to touch base in the new year.

I spent the next a few hours rewriting the MONK pages I wrote last night, had a quick lunch, and went to the post office to mail copies of my MR. MONK IS MISERABLE book to the folks mentioned in the acknowledgments. I picked up my daughter from school and came home.

I opened a fresh Diet Coke, grabbed a handful of almonds, and  made some small fixes in a screenplay at the request of the producers who optioned it from me. They are about to send it out to some actors for a holiday read and there were a few scenes involving one character that needed to be slightly tweaked. That took an hour or two.

And then I started writing some new pages in the MONK book. So, naturally, here I am procrastinating on my blog. I'll get back to the book once I've posted this, then I'll make dinner for my family, and write until bed time.

Tomorrow, it begins again. I'll probably start by rewriting what I wrote today, answer some emails…