Writing

A Day in the Life

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In many ways, today was pretty much a typical working day when I'm not on a show. 

I began by returning a call from Germany from Peter Bondy, the writer who translates my MONK books for my German publisher. He had some questions about MR. MONK IS MISERABLE, which is he just about finished translating. I alway enjoy talking to him and really appreciate that he takes the extra effort to double-check names, jokes, and references with me before making any changes. 

I answered some emails and then I called a studio executive to make sure he had everything he needed on the written version of a series treatment before he takes it out to possible c0-production partners in January. He did. I wished him a happy holiday and we made plans to touch base in the new year.

I spent the next a few hours rewriting the MONK pages I wrote last night, had a quick lunch, and went to the post office to mail copies of my MR. MONK IS MISERABLE book to the folks mentioned in the acknowledgments. I picked up my daughter from school and came home.

I opened a fresh Diet Coke, grabbed a handful of almonds, and  made some small fixes in a screenplay at the request of the producers who optioned it from me. They are about to send it out to some actors for a holiday read and there were a few scenes involving one character that needed to be slightly tweaked. That took an hour or two.

And then I started writing some new pages in the MONK book. So, naturally, here I am procrastinating on my blog. I'll get back to the book once I've posted this, then I'll make dinner for my family, and write until bed time.

Tomorrow, it begins again. I'll probably start by rewriting what I wrote today, answer some emails…

Bloodshed Continues in NY Publishing

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Sixty four people lost their jobs today at MacMillan as the bloodshed continues in the NY publishing world.

Simon & Schuster, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and Thomas Nelson also have announced layoffs in recent weeks. Staff reductions are likely at Random House Inc., which is undergoing a significant consolidation. Other publishers, including Macmillan, have frozen wages or deferred raises.

[…]Macmillan's publishers include St. Martin's Press, Henry Holt & Co. and Farrar, Straus & Giroux. Macmillan is owned by Verlagsgruppe Georg von Holtzbrinck, based in Stuttgart, Germany.

This is bad news for writers. The job losses in the executive suites will undoubtedly lead to dropped book contracts, fewer manuscript acquisitions, and smaller advances. I don't mean to sound too pessimistic, but this is a tough time to be a writer.

Will the Real Nick Schenk Please Stand Up?

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Yesterday, the Los Angeles Times ran a story on Nick Schenk, a struggling Minnesota screenwriter who’d sold the first script he’d ever written, GRAN TORINO, to Clint Eastwood, who shot it without changing a word. It was an unlikely, inspiring success story.

The script was so well crafted and understated (and the credits went by so fast) that after seeing the picture, I immediately called Bill Gerber, one of the film’s producers, to find out which one of the many A-list screenwriters who must always be knocking down Eastwood’s door had penned the story.

“Are you sitting down?” Gerber asked. He had quite a surprise. The writer, Nick Schenk, who lives in Minnesota, had never sold a feature script in his life. In fact, the only writing work Schenk had done was for “BoDog Fight,” a mixed martial arts TV show, a game show called “Let’s Bowl” and some comedy sketches collected in a DVD called “Factory Accident Sex.” (“That title doesn’t exactly help my career, does it?” Schenk jokes.)
Schenk says he wrote the script, using a pen and a pad of paper, sitting at night in a bar called Grumpy’s in northeast Minneapolis.

But in today’s Daily Variety, Schenk tells a very different story.

Nick Schenk sold the first script he ever wrote. “It went to Disney and, not to date myself, but Katzenberg greenlit that thing, and when he went to Dreamworks it died that day. They had a director and it was cast — the whole works.” TV gigs and spec scripts followed.

So what’s the real story?

Bad Weather

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Let me start by saying, once again, that I consider myself a Robert B. Parker fan. When he's on his game, there's nobody better.

But ROUGH WEATHER is, by far, the worst Spenser novel yet. It's not the worst book Parker has ever written, but it's pretty close to it.  

The story kicks off with Spenser and Susan attending a wedding on a private island that turns into a violent kidnapping. Not a bad teaser into the story, except that neither Spenser, Susan, nor anyone else seems to react much to the extreme violence that they witness. From that point on, the story becomes almost entirely expositional, falling into a pattern that goes something like this:

1) Something happens, though the "something" is usually just a dull, expositional conversation between Spenser and someone else (and if it's a woman, she'd desperately like to sleep with him but he declines).
2) Spenser tells someone else about what happened.
3) Spenser tells someone else about what happened.
4) Spenser discusses what happened again with someone else, or with a group of people.
5) Spenser has another conversation with someone.
6) repeat scenes 2, 3 and 4.
7) Someone tries to beat up Spenser, but the someone is woefully ill-suited for the task and Spenser casually kicks his ass.
7) Repeat scenes 2, 3 and 4.
8) Someone tries to kill Spenser, but Spenser easily kills them first and/or takes prisoners.
9) repeat scenes 2, 3 and 4, and then repeat them again for good measure, since someone got killed or captured.

There are two set pieces — the kidnapping and an attempt on Spenser's life — and the rest is flat exposition. There's more sitting around and talking in this book than in a Nero Wolfe. The plot is obvious, there isn't a single surprise or twist.  The book ended abruptly with the bad guy coming in and simply telling Spenser what we, the readers, have already guessed a dozen chapters earlier. It's like Parker just got tired of writing and arbitrarily decided to stop.

Spenser doesn't actually have to get out from behind his desk in the finale, which is yet another scene of people sitting around and telling us what we already know. Spenser doesn't do anything, or really solve anything. The one benefit is that the book is short, maybe only 35,000 words, if that, so just when you're thinking about giving up, it's already over.

I think this is going to be my last Spenser novel. Parker is a very frustrating author. At times he's great (check out APPALOOSA, DOUBLE PLAY, the early Spensers and the early Jesse Stones) but lately, with the exception of his westerns, he just seems to type. 

I honestly believe if anybody besides an author of Parker's stature and success had turned in a book to an editor as sloppy, dull, and thin as ROUGH WEATHER, it never would have been published.

Putting on your Comedy Hat

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Earl Pomerantz has posted another wonderful anecdote from his days writing and producing Major Dad.

I meet with McRaney and his manager to discuss the problems McRaney’s having with the scripts. At some point in the discussion, McRaney’s manager, coincidentally a former Marine, says, “Now, putting on my ‘comedy hat’….”

I, internally, hit the roof, and bang my head against it a few hundred times. I’m not a Marine. I don’t claim, and never have claimed, to have a “Marine hat.” McRaney’s manager had never been involved in a comedy. Where the heck did he get a “comedy hat”!?

If you love tv, you should be reading Earl's blog.

Specs Appeal

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I don't have the time to gamble on writing a book on spec right now, so I decided to put together a book proposal instead. In fact, that's how I sold MY GUN HAS BULLETS back in the early 90s to St. Martin's Press. 

I've just  finished writing the sample chapters. It's about 35,000 words and, dramatically speaking,  the narrative equivalent of the first act of a three-act movie. It sets up the characters, the stakes and the obstacles ahead. In other words, everything is set in motion. 

Over the next day or so I'll write up a punchy, broad-strokes outline of the rest of the novel. I don't know if the sample chapters are any good, or if my agent will think that the idea is marketable, or if any publisher in this economy will buy the book, but I am as satisified with it  and pleased with myself for meeting my personal deadline of Dec. 1 to get the package done.

Now I'll set those characters aside (if I can) and concentrate on writing my next MONK book.

This Is A Very Bad Sign

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Publisher's Weekly reports the scary news that Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, a major NY publisher, has ordered editors to stop acquiring new manuscripts.

Josef Blumenfeld, v-p of communications for HMH, confirmed that the publisher has “temporarily stopped acquiring manuscripts” across its trade and reference divisions. The directive was given verbally to a handful of executives and, according to Blumenfeld, is “not a permanent change.” 

Blumenfeld, who hedged on when the ban might be lifted, said that the right project could still go to the editorial review board. He also maintained that the the decision is less about taking drastic measures than conducting good business.

“In this case, it’s a symbol of doing things smarter; it’s not an indicator of the end of literature,” he said. “We have turned off the spigot, but we have a very robust pipeline.” 

The action by the highly leveraged HMH may also be as much about the company's need to cut costs in a tight credit market.as about the current economic slowdown.

While Blumenfeld dismissed the severity of the policy, a number of agents said they have never heard of a publisher going so far as to instruct its editors to stop acquiring.

Major Brilliant

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I have been loving writer/producer Earl Pomerantz's brilliant and hilarious blog posts about the development of his sitcom MAJOR DAD. Here's an anecdote he shared about working on the pilot with then-CBS President Kim LeMasters:

Here’s something somebody told me I said once about how TV networks behave: “The first thing they say is the last thing they say.” What did I mean by that? I meant this.

During the “casting approval” process, the president of CBS, Kim (a man) had strongly objected to the casting of Shanna Reed as our leading lady. Universal insisted. We got Shanna Reed.

It is now the night before the filming. What is Kim’s primary “note”, besides that the show doesn’t “ring true” to the spirit of the Marine Corps?

“I can’t tell you what to do,” he began, before telling us what to do, “but if I were you, I would close down production and look for another leading lady.”

Writers Write

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Career3
My friend Lisa Klink has some great advice for TV writers who are finding it very cold out there right now:

Budgets have been cut and
writing staffs have been reduced, resulting in more competition for
jobs.  Some experienced writers are taking less money and/or lower
titles just to keep working.  Networks are ordering fewer pilots, which
is also increasing competition among writers trying to sell shows. 
There’s a general tension and uncertainty in the air, which makes the
people doing the hiring less inclined to take chances on unproven
talent.

Depressed yet?  I don’t say all this to be discouraging, just to
offer some perspective.  If you’re not getting the opportunities you’ve
been hoping for, it probably has less to do with your talent as a
writer than the stressed-out state of the business.  So what’s a writer
to do?  What we do best.  Get creative.  Expand your horizons beyond
television to other media: video games, web series, graphic novels,
etc.  Get (or borrow) a digital camera and make a short.  Write a one
act play and stage a reading.  Explore every possible way to get your
work seen and produced.

None of this is to suggest that you should stop writing new specs,
meeting new people and looking for TV work.  But in addition to a
full-frontal assault, try coming at the TV biz sideways.  Having any
kind of success in any medium will distinguish you from your
competition.  More importantly, I think it’s psychologically helpful to
any writer frustrated with the business to find other creative
outlets.  Take a break from beating your head against the wall and have
some fun with your talent.  Remind yourself that you are actually a
good writer – and become an even better writer while you’re at it.

She's right. As my grandfather used to say, "You can't catch fish with your line in the boat" (it's amazing how many different situations I can apply that advice to, just like he did). That's why I am always working on several things at once.

Today is a good example. I had a pitch at FX, I did some research for my next "Monk" novel (which is due in April), I wrote five pages of my "standalone" novel, got notes on a spec script I've optioned to some producers,  and I started sketching out some ideas for a pitch I have on the 13th.

I have my professional ups and downs, and personal ones as well, but no matter what I am always writing something. Even when I had two broken arms. It's how I stay sane and it's probably how I stay in business.

Beached 4

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PA230004 (2)The sun was out today in Myrtle Beach, where  I am speaking at the South Carolina Writer's Conference. I had some interesting encounters today…in the elevator, a woman said  to me:

"How much of your books does Tony Shalhoub write?"

"He doesn't write any of part of them," I replied.

"Then why is his face on the cover?"

"Because  he plays Adrian Monk on the TV show."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't you think that's deceiving readers?"

Another woman came up to me later in the day and said "Your books are very funny. Why aren't you as funny in person?"

Before my screenwriting seminar, a woman approached me and said "I'd like to attend your class but there's a more interesting one  at the same time."

Other than those comments, it has been a great day…a long one, and tiring, but a lot of fun anyway. And I had the pleasure of signing with my friend Michael Connelly and introducing him as our keynote speaker. He was an engaging, self-effacing, and inspirational speaker, as always.

Tomorrow I have  two more classes/seminars and then I take a late flight back to Los Angeles.