Sickficcer Cleared

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You may remember Darryn Walker. He was the 35-year-old UK civil servant who posted a graphic Sickfic story on the Internet in which the singers in the group Girls Aloud were kidnapped, tortured, raped, and mutilated. He was arrested and charged with violating the Obscene Publications Act.  Yesterday he was acquitted on all charges.

Walker's lawyer Tim Owen told reporters that "the effect of this prosecution on Mr Walker has been devastating. He has lost his job and has not managed to get further employment. Hopefully he can now recommence his life. […] It was never his intention to frighten or intimidate the members of Girls Aloud."

Owen said Walker wrote the story as "an adult celebrity parody" and that it was only meant "for an audience of like-minded people."

Can you imagine what those "like-minded people" must be like?

(Thanks to PM Rommel for alerting me to the news)

You Can Become a Kindle Millionaire, Part 4

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N151109 Here's  a quick update on my e-publishing experiments. Following in the e-footsteps of Joe Konrath and John August, I made  THE WALK, my out-of-print 2004 novel, and THREE WAYS TO DIE, a collection of previously published short stories, available as Kindle editions. I subsequently made them available as downloadable PDFs on Scribd as well.

So far, I haven't had nearly the volume of sales that Joe and John have experienced. From June 1 to today, I have sold 371 copies of  THE WALK at $1.40 each (the actual price is $1.89, but Amazon has discounted it), earning myself $236.91. My sales of THREE WAYS TO DIE are flat at 54 copies at 99 cents each, earning me a whopping $18.90. I have sold two copies of THE WALK and one of THREE WAYS TO DIE on Scribd, at the same prices as the Kindle editions, earning me a staggering $2.44 in royalties.

At the request of several of my blog readers, I have gone one step further and have made THE WALK and THREE WAYS TO DIE available on Smashwords, where you can download them in the format of your choice. The price in all formats for THE WALK is $1.89, the same price I set for the Kindle edition on Amazon. 

So, here's where you can buy THE WALK and THREE WAYS TO DIE  in the e-versions of your choice… 

THE WALK on the Kindle 

THE WALK as a PDF at Scribd Three_Ways_to_Die Cover

THE WALK in multiple formats, including Kindle, PDF, and Mobipocket, at Smashwords. (If you use this code KN24A at checkout, you will get 25% off, the same as the Amazon discount)

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THREE WAYS TO DIE on the Kindle 

THREE WAYS TO DIE as a PDF at Scribd.

THREE WAYS TO DIE in multiple formats at Smashwords. (I am experimenting with this title by using their "set your own price" feature where you, the reader, decide how much to pay).

I shall report back at the end of the month on how the books are doing on the various sites and in all the various formats. 

Norton Hell, Minute by Agonizing Minute

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If you would like to experience the living hell that is Norton Technical Support, scroll down to the last entry and read from the bottom up to the top. 

  1. I'm told that "The Senior Technical Experts Department specialized for Norton Product" (that's a direct quote) will call me.this is surreal.4:26 PM Jun 25th from web

        

  2. ok, 3 hrs plus is enough. I'm done. Time to find that link for the Norton Removal Tool…that's the more effective resolution.4:21 PM Jun 25th from web

  3. Mr. Norton Support is running the program again. And it still doesn't work. I bet he will seek an even more effective resolution.4:16 PM Jun 25th from web

  4. if I stay on w/Norton much longer, Madonna & David Hasselhoff are in jeopardy.4:09 PM Jun 25th from web

  5. I've been on w/Norton Support for so long that the 70s officially died. RIP Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett.4:07 PM Jun 25th from web

  6. watching the norton support person reboot me from afar. We have just entered the third hour of support. How long until I can call Guinness?4:05 PM Jun 25th from web

  7. He can't figure out what's wrong.He doesn't know how to fix it.He will seek an even more effective resolution.How could anyone achieve that?3:56 PM Jun 25th from web

  8. he looked but didn't touch. we are fast approaching my 3rd unproductive hr w/ Norton support. I just asked him what's up. Guess his reply…3:52 PM Jun 25th from web

  9. now he's going into control panel. going to programs & features. looking at what I have. I feel naked & exposed.3:43 PM Jun 25th from web

  10. Uh-oh. The program isn't working. I guess we're going to need "a more effective resolution" than just running it AGAIN.3:41 PM Jun 25th from web

  11. he's running the program AGAIN. Does he think repetition is the answer? Yeah, that's it. Just keep doing it until it works. MORON!3:38 PM Jun 25th from web

  12. this isn't online sex. It's married sex.3:37 PM Jun 25th from web

  13. oh, just heard from him. "I am looking for a more effective resolution." More effective than no resolution at all? Good idea!3:36 PM Jun 25th from web

  14. I think my Norton Support person is seeking some support himself.I've been on line w/him for over 30 minutes now & have accomplished nothing3:35 PM Jun 25th from web

  15. nothing is happening. The cursor isn't moving. Oh my. Has he lost hope? I know I have.3:25 PM Jun 25th from web

  16. He seems lost. He's just moving the cursor around my desktop in lonely desperation. I can relate, Rajneesh.3:23 PM Jun 25th from web

  17. I wonder if this was what Michael Jackson was doing when he had his heart attack.3:19 PM Jun 25th from web

  18. what do you know, it's not working. I wonder if Norton Support will recommend that I contact Norton support.3:18 PM Jun 25th from web

  19. he's running the program again. I guess he wants to see if I really have a problem or am just doing this for kicks.3:16 PM Jun 25th from web

  20. if so, it may be good for him but it's not good for me.3:16 PM Jun 25th from web

  21. our computers are now connected remotely. am I experiencing online sex?3:14 PM Jun 25th from web

  22. he's offering to take control of my computer remotely. maybe he can write my book for me too.3:10 PM Jun 25th from web

  23. he's offering me the pre-packaged/pre-written content so far. Let's see what happens when he actually has to type something himself.3:06 PM Jun 25th from web

  24. On with Norton Mumbai again. Either I am a gluton for punishment or I am procrastinating on my book. You decide.3:03 PM Jun 25th from web

  25. @symantecnews norton360. I just disconnected after ten minutes of radio silence from India…on top of 2 hrs wasted. Terrible "support."12:22 PM Jun 25th from web in reply to symantecnews

  26. Sreejeeth @ symantec has disappeared. haven't heard from him in almost 10 minutes.I guess it's break time in New Delhi. I'm done. Bye Norton12:20 PM Jun 25th from web

  27. Somebody should make Bernie Madoff contact Symantec support.12:15 PM Jun 25th from web

  28. this isn't support. it's punishment.12:14 PM Jun 25th from web

  29. "I see you are having problems with scanning of registry with Norton program not working correct." AHHHHH!12:12 PM Jun 25th from web

  30. I'm on w/Sreejeeth @ Symantec now. Whenever he goes off script he's got a 3rd grader's grasp of English. God help me.12:11 PM Jun 25th from web

  31. now im on with mohammad. he is escalating the case. i am blessed12:03 PM Jun 25th from web

  32. @symantecnews No. I've just spent over an hour repeating steps I did BEFORE I called support. Now i'm told he can't resolve it. Duh.12:00 PM Jun 25th from web in reply to symantecnews

  33. Now Shareef is informing me that "I am unable to resolve the issue and will transfer to a supervisor." Am I looking at another hour of HELL?11:59 AM Jun 25th from web

  34. now Shareef is trying to isolate the issue. Good idea, Shareef. Should have tried that an hour ago.11:58 AM Jun 25th from web

  35. ran program again. Problem still not fixed. Apparently all these symantec support guys know how to do is download updates. a waste of time11:55 AM Jun 25th from web

  36. of course I did all that BEFORE i called tech support.11:55 AM Jun 25th from web

  37. …then we ran live update three times. now we are rebooting.11:51 AM Jun 25th from web

  38. let's see…first we downloaded the same program 3 times, then we ran the program, got the same error I had an hour ago…11:46 AM Jun 25th from web

  39. Now he's running live update again…I guess he forgot we did that five minutes ago.11:42 AM Jun 25th from web

  40. why do i feel like I am giving this moron tech support instead of the other way around??11:40 AM Jun 25th from web

  41. my dog knows more about computers than shareef. i am moments away from just hanging up & walking away from Norton for good.11:39 AM Jun 25th from web

  42. entering my 2nd hr w/shareef in customer support. oh, the bliss11:37 AM Jun 25th from web

  43. "Your desktop is being remotely controlled by Shareef." This is like the Indian version of THE OUTER LIMITS…only much scarier.11:16 AM Jun 25th from web

  44. chatting w/Shareef & Mohammed @ symantec support. It's like dental surgery w/o anesthesia.10:19 AM Jun 25th from web

Scribe Award Ceremony Announced

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Third annual presentation of the International Association of Media-Tie-in Writers (IAMTW) "Scribe" Awards, honoring excellence in tie-in writing in such notable franchises as CSI, Criminal Minds, The X-Files, Star Trek, Stargate, Star Wars and Dr. Who, will be held on FRIDAY JULY 24 3-4:30 pm at Comic-Con in San Diego in Room 4. The ceremony will be followed by a panel discussion with the nominees, including James Rollins (Indiana Jones), Matt Forbeck (Mutant Chronicles), Bob Greenberger (Hellboy), Keith R. A. DeCandido (Farscape), Stacia Deutsch (Dark Knight), Nathan Long (Warhammer), and Tod Goldberg (Burn Notice). With moderators Lee Goldberg (Monk) and Max Allan Collins (GI JOE).

Mr. Monk and the Dirty Review

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MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP comes out on July 7 but the reviews are already starting to come in. Bill Crider enjoyed this one as much as the previous books, or so he says on his blog today. He says, in part:

Lee Goldberg's books about Monk never let me down. They're always good for a some smiles and laughs, but that's the least of it. I've talked before about the themes of loyalty and friendship in books by other writers, and Robert B. Parker couldn't fill up ten pages without writing about them. People take the themes seriously in other books because, well, the books are serious. Goldberg has a lighter touch, but if you don't think those themes are treated just as seriously in his work, then you should read Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop.

Thank you so much, Bill. I'm flattered. I believe there's one thing that stops the MONK episodes and the books from becoming a slapstick cartoon, that prevents his character from becoming Maxwell Smart or Inspector Clouseau. It's this: amidst all the comedic situations that arise from his OCD, there's always something emotionally true about the stories…something that reveals Monk's essential sadness and grounds the character in reality. Maybe not our reality, but a reality just the same.

The hardest thing for me with the books isn't the mystery or the comedy…it's coming up with that emotional center, the heart-felt conflict that gives some shading to the broad humor. I always try to find something in the story that will put Monk and Natalie's relationship to the test, that will reveal something about who they are, and that will bring them closer together (or give them a deeper understanding of one another). I don't consciously think of a theme, but one seems to reveal itself to me along the way…and then I try not to belabor it or pay attention to it…I prefer to let it emerge on its own as a strand within scenes or in lines of dialogue.

I'm glad that it comes across.

Transformers 2 is Hell, So Says Ebert

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I love Roger Ebert's review of TRANSFORMERS 2.

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

Not that I had any intention of seeing it anyway. I saw TRANSFORMERS 1…and that was enough.

Money Woes in UK TV Biz

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The Guardian reports that series cancellations and budget cuts at ITV are renewing fears about the precarious state of the UK TV Biz.

Having sent the dinosaurs back to extinction earlier in the week, ITV decided to banish the vampires on Friday, cancelling the Saturday evening show Demons only days after Primeval got the axe. A budgetary ice-age seems to be sweeping through UK television – raising fears about British broadcasting’s delicate eco-stystem.

The cuts are not a problem confined to commercial channels. The morning before Demons’ fate was confirmed, the BBC instructed all six of its television networks to find record efficiency savings of 7.5% – over the next five years the channels will lose £1bn from their budgets. And matters are little better at Channel 4. In March, head of programming Julian Bellamy said the broadcaster would like to commission more drama, but there was no money in the budget with which to do so.

[…]Despite ITV performing well in drama this year – it has broadcast the five highest-rating new dramas, Whitechapel, Above Suspicion, Unforgiven, Law & Order: UK and, ironically, Demons – rating success is clearly no longer a measure of survival at the broadcaster. But if ITV is getting rid of relative successes, what will it have left?

There is some good news. ITV renewed LEWIS for a fourth season, which comes as a relief, since early reports were that the hit series was doomed for financial reasons.

The Mail I Get

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I received this email from an agentless, aspiring screenwriter:

I just moved to LA about a year ago.[…]I've hooked up with a producer who is a former exec at a major studio. We talked about an idea he has for a sitcom. I like his idea a lot and I agreed to collaborate with him. The thing is, I've been helping him for a while now and even wrote a pilot, all with nothing but a verbal commitment from him to "do right" by me. I do trust him and we've become friends outside of "work."

Now, I've decided it's time to get more than just a verbal commitment from him. But I am at a loss as to what to ask for.[…] So far I've written a pilot and have helped out with character descriptions and episode outlines. Now he wants me to write another episode. Do you have any advice for someone like me?

Yes, I do. You are being screwed. The producer is taking advantage of your enthusiasm, inexperience and desperation. He should know better…and, if he is truly your friend (and the seasoned exec you say he is), and if he genuinely wanted to "do right" for you, he would have put a deal in writing before you started writing a word…for his protection and yours.

Don't do ANY more work for him or let him send out the script to anyone unless a deal is in place between the two of you.

Since you don't have an agent, you should consult with a lawyer. You should also visit the WGA website and get a copy of the applicable minimums and/or go to the Samuel French Bookstore and get a book on Entertainment industry contracts.

I'm not a lawyer or an agent, but some of the things you should seek are compensation (at least WGA minimums) for the scripts you have written immediately upon sale of the project, a minimum royalty per episode produced (you need to negotiate an amount), a shared created by credit with the producer (though that will be arbitrated by the Guild), a producer credit & salary on the show (whether you provide services or not) and an equal share of any and all monies that the producer is getting for ancillary rights, backend, etc. That's just for starters.