The Mail I Get

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This email is so stupid, that I have to wonder if it was sent as a prank:

I realise you will get this quite a lot and are probably sick to death of people asking but I have completed a novel about Adrian Monk and wondered if I could send you the synopsis. I wouldn't presume to step on your toes but I have four great plots and have worked them into what I believe is an entertaining thriller.

I know this isn't the usual protocol of approaching people about a manuscript and I should probably go through an agent so I appreciate that I may not recieve a reply. You may also have the sole rights to the Monk novels either way thank you for your time reading this and if you do take a chance and want me to send the synopsis I am sure you will not be disapointed.

Although I have my doubts that the email is legit, I answered it as if it was. Here is what I said…

Why on earth would I, the author of the MONK novels, be interested in reading your MONK novel? Would you send a spec Spenser novel to Robert B. Parker? A spec Inspector Rebus novel to Ian Rankin? A Harry Bosch novel to Michael Connelly? Not that I am comparing myself to Parker, Rankin or Connelly, I am not in their league…I am just trying to make a point about how idiotic your request is. I can't imagine how you could have thought that it was  a good idea.

Then again, I can't imagine why you would write an entire novel on spec about a character you didn't create and don't own. I didn't create MONK, either…nor did I write a MONK novel on spec. I was hired by the creator of MONK and Penguin/Putnam to write MONK novels for them ..and now I have a multi-book deal that makes me the exclusive author of the books for several years to come.

I recommend that you write original novels that are NOT based on any pre-existing movie or television property. Tie-ins novels are assignments given to established writers by publishers who have licensed the characters from the studios…you don't simply send in a spec HOUSE or THE CLOSER novel to a publisher and hope for a sale.

On top of that, why would you send a novel to another author in the hopes of getting a job (not just any job, but his job)? Authors don't hire authors, publishers and editors do.

An Unethical Affaire

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The folks at Affaire de Coeur are blogging about the controversy I sparked by rejecting their positive review of my book and outing the unethical conduct at the magazine . They write:

I don’t know whether I like this blogging business. It seems that
anyone can say anything they feel like, whether it has an iota of truth
in it or not. And, if you have something to say, say it, but please own
it. What I’m finding, however, is some of the people who write on blogs
use noms des plumes because they don’t want anyone to know who they
are. I have to ask: How valid is a person’s comment if they’re not
willing to stand behind it.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, AdC was
attacked by a writer on his blog. Lee Goldberg accused AdC of selling
reviews and ratings vis a vis ads. He, himself, had received a five
star review from us, and neither he nor his publisher has ever taken
out an ad with us. He didn’t bother to explain this inconsistency.

I didn't say that all the reviews in AdC were bought…or that Penguin bought the rave review that the magazine gave me. What I said is that reviews and editorial content at AdC are for sale…and the price is an ad. This is from Affaire de Coeur's ad pitch:

To compliment your ad and review we also offer interviews or articles.
If you would like an interview let us know 3 months in advance so it
will go in the same issue as your review and ad.[…]Book cover ad.–This is the cover of the book that goes right beside (or above or below) the AdC review of your book.[…]We do not review books after publication unless it is done in association with an ad.

It doesn't get much clearer than that.  I also accused the magazine of a blatant conflict of interest. The facts speak for themselves:

Light Sword founder Linda Daly’s DOVES MIGRATION and REBEL DOVES both
got four star reviews, one from “Lettetia Elasser” and the other from
“Inez Daylong” . Linda also got a cover story. That sort of coverage is
hardly a surprise given that Linda’s partner Bonny Kirby, vp of sales and promotion
for Light Sword, is also Affaire de Coeur's advertising director (and a reviewer for the magazine). This conflict of interest was, of course, not disclosed to readers.

Patricia Guthrie’s book IN THE ARMS OF THE ENEMY was reviewed by
“Kimberly Swan,” who gave it five stars and made it a Reviewer’s Pick.

“Kimberly Swan” gave CJ Parker’s FUGUE MACABRE: GHOST DANCE four and a half stars.

And “Lettetia Elasser” gave Alexey Braguine’s KINGMAKER three-and-half stars.

So most Light Sword titles get four stars or better from ADC…only KINGMAKER got slightly less. But the favorable treatment doesn't end there. That's just the beginning.

A reader emailed me jpegs of four Affair de
Coeur covers in a row. Lightsword co-owner Linda Daly and/or Lightsword
authors were on three out of four of them.

Sept/Oct 2007 – The cover features the jacket of Lightsword author CJ Parker’s FUGUE MACABRE and a photo of Linda Daly.

Nov/Dec. 2007 – There’s another photo of Linda Daly on the cover.

March/April 2008 – Linda Daly IS the cover story and so is her book Lightsword book DOVES MIGRATION.

But I am sure all of this attention for Linda Daly, and the rave
reviews for Lightsword Books (four out of five of them got four stars
or better), had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that
Bonny Kirby, the co-owner of Lightsword Publishing, is also the vp of
advertising and a critic for Affaire de Coeur. No sir. It’s just one of those happy coincidences when good things happen to good people.

It's clear that Bonny Kirby engaged in an unethical conflict-of-interest. But the ultimate
responsibility for all of this mess rests not with Kirby but with Sneed, who
is the publisher. She clearly has no respect whatsoever for her readers
or the journalistic integrity of her magazine. If she did, she would
have fired Kirby by now, issued an apology to her readers, and
instituted reforms to make sure such a blatant and unethical
conflict-of-interest never occurs at her magazine again. Instead, she misses the point…or pretends to:

To put this issue to bed, I ended up writing an editorial. I also did a
side bar on how we review for those who want fact rather than hearsay
and innuendo. Finally, I have a spreadsheet on the correlation between
ads and the number of stars a review received. (There is none). So
maybe read the editorial and the sidebar and scan the spreadsheet and
then, if you still have questions about how we review, shoot!

I'd love to read this editorial, and the rationalizations it contains for unethical behavior, but I can't find Affaire De Coeur on any newstands. So if you have a copy, please send it to me at PO Box 8212, Calabasas, CA 91372

James Crumley Dies

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I have just heard from a friend in Montana that author James Crumley passed away yesterday. He wrote some of my favorite private eye novels, including THE LAST GOOD KISS, DANCING BEAR and THE WRONG CASE. He will be missed.

UPDATE:  TV Writer John Schulian's 2001 review/interview wonderfully captures Crumley's jagged charm.

UPDATE:  You can find links to tributes & remembrances from other authors and past interviews with Crumley at Sara Weinman's blog.

Annie Proulx Says No to Fanfic

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Author Annie Proulx, who wrote BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN,  tells the Wall Street Journal that the fanfic ripped off from her work by "remedial writers" is a "source of constant irritation."

There are countless people out there who think the story is open range
to explore their fantasies and to correct what they see as an
unbearably disappointing story. They constantly send ghastly
manuscripts and pornish rewrites of the story to me, expecting me to
reply with praise and applause for "fixing" the story.  […] They do not understand the original story, they know nothing of
copyright infringement—i.e., that the characters Jack Twist and Ennis
Del Mar are my intellectual property

Defamer comments on all the insipid BROKEBACK fanfic.

We can see Proulx's point; after all, it somewhat dilutes the gist of
the original story if a sequel just happens to involve Ennis Del Mar
meeting the slain Jack Twist's identical twin (coincidentally, also
gay!). When will the internet accept that Proulx's simple, elegant tale
simply can't be done justice by a poorly written Livejournal follow-up?

(Thanks to Sue for the heads-up!)

Potter Fan Tries to Cast Spell To Free His Book

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The Detroit Free Press reports that the publisher and author of the "Harry Potter Lexicon" aren't giving up trying to make a buck off of Harry Potter — even though a judge has barred publication of the book. Now they are seeking to publish the book without the copyrighted content that the judge determined was lifted from Rowling.

Roger Rapoport, a Muskegon publisher, and Steve Vander Ark, a Grand
Rapids area librarian and author, expect their attorneys this week to
file a notice of appeal preserving the men's right to continue the
legal battle for their Harry Potter book.

U.S. District Judge
Robert P. Patterson Jr. ruled Sept. 8 that the book violated Rowling's
copyright and blocked its publication.

In a 60-page opinion,
Patterson said the work quotes too directly from the Potter books and
dwells too much on a pair of books written by Rowling to explain
aspects of the wizarding world she created.

Rapoport and Vander Ark are considering whether they could edit the book to pass the judge's muster.

Brand Awareness

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The raves keep coming in for my buddy Axel Brand's new book THE HOTEL DICK. Axel is the pen name of a very successful author stepping into a new genre (hence the new moniker). Library Journal says:

With a narrative voice reminiscent of Dragnet's Joe Friday and a spot-on 1940s style that subtly slips modernisms into the smooth, often humorous telling, Brand has written a sound period piece featuring Lt. Joe Sonntag. Sonntag maintains a cool approach when movie star Spencer Tracy appears to be the only viable suspect in the murder of a hotel detective. The plot is as devious as any of Donald Westlake's and hard-boiled enough to please Bill Pronzini fans. The end result is pure entertainment.

And author & reviewer Bill Crider loved it, too:

Sontagg is a detective who wouldn't
fit into today's world of hotshot crime-solvers, but his dogged
approach gets the job done. It was great to read a book like this one,
an effective throwback to another era that still feels fresh and new.

It's great to see Axel's first hardboiled detective novel doing so well.

The Wild Wild Ross Martin

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Aandj03
Writer/producers David Simkins and Marc Scott Zicree have teamed up for a  series of podcast interviews with writers, producers and actors. They came over to my house and taped one with me the other day. But I'm sure my interview isn't going to be nearly as unique and interesting as this one:  a recording of a 1978 interview Marc did with actor Ross Martin, who played Artemus Gordon on WILD WILD WEST (and, strangely, had a recurring role as a Hawaiian mobster on HAWAII FIVE-O).  Martin was also the star voice of the cartoon SEALAB 2020…you can hear his opening narration here.

The Mail I Get — What Happens After You Turn In Your Book?

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Charmi congratulated me on turning in MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP and asked:

Out of curiousity, how much work will you still have to do on it? At this point in writing Monk novels, do you get many change requests from the editor? Or, can you pretty much consider this "done"?

I'm sure that's a question a lot of you have, so here's what I told her:

I usually don't get any major notes from MONK creator Andy Breckman or my editor, so the next step will be to go through the copy-edited manuscript. That's basically my own manuscript sent back to me, all marked up, after my editor and the copy editor have gone through it, spotting typos, punctuation errors, inconsistencies, awkward phrases etc. They will make suggestions on the page for corrections,  changes and clarifications. They will also suggest trims or places where I might want to go into more detail…but the choice is mine. For the most part, it's very minor stuff and I get through it very quickly. It's also my last chance to do any rewriting that I want to do for creative reasons…which usually only amounts to a line or two, here and there.

A month or two after that, I will receive the typeset galley, also known as the advance proofs, which is basically an unbound version of what the final book will look like. The editor, copyeditor and I read through it for errors (although we inevitably miss two or three big ones, much to my embarrassment) and send it on to production.

At that point, my job on the book is done…if you don't count promotion (like going to book signings, attending conferences, speaking at libraries, etc.)