So Many Shows, So Much Confusion, So Little Time…

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I’m supposedly a "TV insider," and yet I am completedly confused by the new season. I can’t tell KIDNAPPED from STANDOFF from VANISHED. It’s like last season, when every series seemed to be about an alien invasion (SURFACE, INVASION, etc.) or thieves plotting a big robbery (HEIST, THIEF, etc.)

What makes it even harder to tell all these kidnapping shows apart is the plethora of new, one-word titled shows this season…like RUNAWAY, HEROES, JUSTICE, SHARK, DAYBREAK, SMITH, JERICHO, and DEXTER to go along with LOST, HOUSE, BONES, SURVIVOR,MONK, SUPERNATURAL, NUMBERS etc. 

And then there’s THE NINE and SIX DEGREES. I don’t know which one of these two is which, do you?

There are only two new series I’m looking forward to — SHARK and HEROES.

I’m also curious about the recast LAW AND ORDER. Otherwise, it will be hard enough for me just to keep up with my favorites, like LAW & ORDER: SVU, GREY’S ANATOMY, BOSTON LEGAL, NIP/TUCK, THE UNIT, and BATTLESTAR GALACICA. And I have season boxed sets of THE SHIELD, RESCUE ME, HOUSE  and VERONICA MARS crying for attention on my shelf…

But who has the time???

Tied Up in Tie-ins

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I got an email from someone who has written his first original tie-in novel, which will be released very soon in paperback by a major publisher. He was paid a
flat, work-for-hire fee of $5000 to produce a 90,000 word novel and was
put through at least one revision.  He had this question for me:

Assuming I do get offered another
contract, it’s likely to take place before the first book hits the stores.
Wouldn’t my best bargaining point be the degree of success of the first
book, and I won’t know that before being asked to make a decision on a
second contract? I don’t want a second contract on the same terms as the
first. In other words, how much leverage does a tie-in
writer have, especially a newbie? Any light you can shed would be much
appreciated.

It
really depends on your financial situation now. How long did it take
you to write that 90,000 words? My guess is that if you were to figure
out the time you put in writing the book on a dollars-per-hour basis,
you got far less than minimum wage.  And you gain nothing
financially if the book is a success. If they want you back, I would
ask for at least a $5000 advance against a percentage of royalties…or walk away from it.  That
really is the only leverage you have — a willingness to walk
away.

I posed this question to other tie-in writers in the International Association of Media Tie-in Writers. They pointed out that the publisher has  done the number crunching on the tie-in deal and believe they are already paying all that they can afford (given that they also have to pay a licensing fee and share royalties with the studio). However, now you’ve demonstrated that you can write a novel on time and to their specifications, so you’re not an unknown any more. And that proven dependability is now worth something.

Dangerous if Combined

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This Sunday, in a cosmic convergence of such magnitude that it could
create a rip in the space-time continuum right in the center of West
Hollywood, my brother Tod, my sisters Karen Dinino, Linda
Woods and I will be on stage at the West Hollywood Book
Festival.

All four of us are published authors and, as fate would have it, we all
have new books out. We’ll be offering advice about writing, publishing,
and creating searingly hot erotic fiction (which none of us do, but it
seems livelier than talking about what we do write, which are literary
short stories, art books, and novels with 80-year-old TV actors on the
cover).

Casino Royale

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There’s a new trailer for CASINO ROYALE and it lays to rest any doubts that Daniel Craig can play Bond or that the producers were serious about rebooting the franchise. The last vestiges of the Roger Moore years seem to be completely erased.  Bond is once again the young,  lethal assassin from DR. NO and FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.  I liked the Pierce Brosnan Bonds, though they seemed like a compromise between the Connery and Moore versions of 007. CASINO ROYALE is definitely a throwback to the Connery interpretation. It looks like this movie could be the best Bond film since GOLDFINGER… (though the bad guy’s scarred eye is a little too reminiscent of Donald Pleasance in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE). I can’t wait to see it.

Pink Panther Novels

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I stumbled on an unusual tie-in at the bookstore today — THE PINK
PANTHER GETS LUCKY by Mark Cerasini & Alice Alfonsi, an original
novel based on the PINK PANTHER movies. In fact, it’s billed as an
"original pink panther mystery." Apparently, there is already another
one on the way. I wonder what the target audience is for Inspector
Clouseau books?

Food for Thought

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I was having dinner with my daughter at HOME TOWN BUFFET (I lead such a glamorous life!) and a guy came in wearing a black t-shirt that said in big, white letters  PURE FUCKING METAL. The management wouldn’t let him in and he left without incident. It’s a family restaurant and it was filled with kids. I would have done the same thing if I was the manager. But it got me thinking, was this man’s rights violated? Would he have grounds for a successful lawsuit? What if his t-shirt had a picture of a penis or a vagina on it instead?

Another reason for me to love Hawaii

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I got a very nice review today from Burl Burlingame in the Honolulu Star Bulletin for MR. MONK GOES TO HAWAII.  He writes, in part:

This is a real novel, not a fleshed-out screenplay, as it is told in
the first person of Natalie, which is fascinating because she’s still
relatively undeveloped on the show. The story, as it is, unfolds from
her point of view and gives the character an inner life and complexity.
I came away from the book with a greater appreciation of the back-story
of Natalie’s character.

[…]"Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii" is an entertaining and ruefully funny
diversion that stars one of television’s best-loved characters, and
because it’s a mystery novel, it will stick long after you’ve forgotten
the plot of the latest "Monk" episode.

Thanks so much, Burl!

Hanging with the Sistahs

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Today, I headed out to the South Pasadena Public Library for the monthly meeting of Sisters-in-Crime, where I read from MR. MONK GOES TO HAWAII and was "in conversation" with author Denise Hamilton. We talked a lot about our different approaches to writing, plotting and constructing scenes. We also discussed how to write dialogue that reveals character, the merits of "standalones" vs "series," and how we go about rewriting work. I enjoyed myself, met a lot of friendly people, and only saw three women in the audience fighting sleep, so I consider it a success.

Priorities

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Bryce
Let’s see… the Bush administration finally admits that there are secret CIA prisons abroad, the Bush Administration wants  "evidence" extracted using torture to be admissable in court, and the Bush administration not only lied to us about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction, but it turns Iraq never supported Bin Laden, either. So what are the Democrats in an uproar about? Some cheesy TV movie that implies that 9/11 happened because President Clinton was too busy getting blowjobs from Monica Lewinsky. Unbelieveable. Where are their priorities?

Speaking of THE PATH TO 9/11, my friend Bryce Zabel sent me the photo on the left…note the similarities between the ad campaign for the TV movie and his cult-hit TV series (Click on the image for a larger view)

The Last Word

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Dmlw3Here’s is the cover for DIAGNOSIS MURDER #8: THE LAST WORD, coming out next Spring. It’s likely, as the title suggests, to be the final book in the series…and I can promise you that it’s a worthy finale.  Dr. Mark Sloan and company face an old adversary and their biggest challenge yet.