Going Hollywood

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Tess Gerritsen writes today about her first and last experience as a screenwriter. It’s a funny and all-too-typical experience.

But I don’t plan to ever write another screenplay again, and here’s why: for me, it feels like writing by committee.

She’s right, that’s exactly what it is. And it’s why I like it. No, not the getting notes from executives part…but being in the writers room, cracking a story with a staff of clever, creative, and enthusiastic writers. And I like production, collaborating with directors, actors, editors, composers, set designers, location managers, casting directors, and everyone else who brings the story to life. Does the episode turn out exactly as I originally envisioned it? Can I claim it as all mine? No, but that’s also part of the fun…and yes, sometimes, the disappointment.  Which is why I happily work both as a screenwriter and as a novelist.

What prompted Tess’ anecdote was a terrific post by my friend Paul Guyot on discipline. He writes:

Discipline. The single greatest asset a writer can own. Better than talent, better than imagination, better than anything.

If you have discipline, you are light-years ahead of anyone trying to write without discipline. It is no coincidence that the best writers I know – both prose and screen – are also some of the most disciplined.

And it’s no coincidence that the majority of people I know who have yet to taste any real success as a writer lack discipline. And most of them don’t even know it.

Discipline. Stephen J. Cannell, of TV and multiple novels, is disciplined. Up at 4:30am EVERY day, works out for an hour, showers, eats and WRITES. Every day.

He then beats himself up for another 1000 words. I think my friend is being way too hard on himself. It’s not about getting to the computer at a set time every day and writing…it’s about getting to the computer at all.

My ass is being bitten right now. And not in a good way. My lack of discipline is not only keeping me from writing today, but its domino effect on my entire process is awful. Because my deadline doesn’t care. It continues toward me. Like a freight train. And losing one day of writing means that when I do turn in my pilot, it will not be as good as it could be. Because I lost roughly six or seven hours that could have, most likely would have, been spent making the thing better.

You can’t always force creativity, regardless of the immutable reality of a production deadline. But I have to believe that if I have a bad afternoon or a completely wasted day, that I’ll make up for it later. I’ve never missed a production deadline — there is always a finished script to prep. And I’ve only missed one book deadline in my life (by two days). So I know, in my heart of hearts, that I will get the job done. Even so, the self-doubt, anxiety and fear always comes back.

I have a tight deadline right now on a book and two big studio pitches on Tuesday to prepare for…yet here I am, writing this blog post. Is it lack of discipline? I don’t know. I’m here at the computer, my fingers on the keyboard, aren’t I?

I write this blog as a promotional tool but, between you and me, it’s real purpose is as a procrastination device. When I’m stuck on a script, book, pitch or whatever, I turn to the blog as a way to stay at the computer and keep typing…otherwise, I might just leave the room and spend the day doing something else, something that isn’t writing. In fact, it’s how Paul’s post got written:

And this isn’t the first day I have not written. Because I lack discipline, this is one of many, many days in my writing career that have been spent not writing. Not staring out the window working, those days count as writing days. I mean simply not doing anything.

I hurt myself. I hurt my family. By not being disciplined. So, I’m trying to fix it. Right now. This very second.

See, I’m writing this because, one, I love JT and would do anything for her. But also because I’m trying to jumpstart myself. Get my bitten ass in gear. Because writing something, anything, is better than not writing.

I agree. But Paul is far more disciplined than he realizes. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be at the computer and he wouldn’t be beating himself up so much.

I’ve Been Fanficced

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I was a writer/producer on SEAQUEST 2032, which was cancelled mid-way through production of  its third season, though scripts were ordered for several more episodes. William Rabkin and I wrote one of those scripts, which was entitled "About Face," and would have been episode 14 of the season. The script has been lost, but a SEAQUEST fan named Rod J. Glasbergen has taken  our one-page treatment for the episode and used it as the basis for his own fanfic story, which he’s posted on the net with this byline and disclaimer:

seaQuest
2032: the Continuation is as the title suggest the continuation of
seaQuest 2032.  I have for this reason started with episode 14 of the
incomplete third season.

About-Face

By Rod J. Glasbergen

Based on an original outline by Lee Goldberg and William
Rabkin

– used without permission –

Since he admits that he did it without permission,  I guess that makes it okay, right? Fanficcers certainly have a bizarre take on what constitutes copyright infringement.

Rod even lifts some of our lines of description and bad temp dialogue word-for-word and uses them in his story as his own (I can’t imagine what Rod would have written, and claimed as his own, if he’d actually managed to get his hands on our detailed outline or our actual script).  He’s not some kid, either…he’s in his mid-20s and even has the chutzpah to take credit for the creation of the rest of the third season:

SeaQuest 2032: the Continuation and all related materials are the concept of Rod Glasbergen.

I don’t think his version of our SEAQUEST 2032 "About Face" story would even qualify as legitimate  ‘fanfic’ to fanficcers. This is simply a blatant  rip-off of someone else’s work.

Shame on you, Rod.

(Thanks to Adam for the heads-up)

UPDATE 8-20-2006: I heard from Rod today. He wrote:

I clearly intended no offence to you or Mr Rabkin in my attempt to
flesh out ABOUT FACE  as a fan fiction.  The idea behind continuing
SEAQUEST 2032 as a multi-episode fanfic was not designed to offend or
insult the writters and producers or anyone involved in the making of
SEAQUEST. I apologize if my work too closely resembles your own, and if you would like I will remove the episode from my website.

I appreciate his willingness to remove the "episode" from his site (and I’ve taken him up on his offer). But he still doesn’t get what he’s done wrong. He’s sorry if his work too closely resembles ours? It is ours.  He literally took our story idea and tried to write it himself.  At least he’s taking it off the net…

 
 

Holy Lawsuit, Batman!

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The daughter of BATMAN producer William Dozier is suing Fox for $4.4 million in unpaid royalties on the TV series. Thinking of the TV Batman brings back memories (as it did for Bob Sassone at TV Squad) My Mom grew up in Walla Walla with Adam West, who played BATMAN, and I was an avid fan of the show when I was a kid. I remember wearing my Batman Halloween costume to the premiere of the movie (the one based on the TV show).

In the late 90s, we cast Adam West on DIAGNOSIS MURDER and, although I spoke to him on the phone, I didn’t get a chance to meet him. The week he was shooting, we were in Hong Kong researching a pilot we were writing for CBS. But he was the best thing about the episode and is great in Conan O’Brien’s unsold pilot LOOKWELL.

I’m Changing My Hair Color And Moving to Germany

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German researchers report that red heads have a lot more sex than everybody else.

The study by Hamburg Sex Researcher Professor Dr Werner Habermehl
looked at the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared them
with their hair colour.

He said: "The sex lives of women
with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair
colour, with more partners and having sex more often than the average.
The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her
reputation."

Oh, wait, it only applies to women. Damn.

Born to Write

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My brother Tod ponders  today whether writing can be taught.

Oh, sure, you can teach someone how to write correctly — how
to format dialog, where to place a comma, how to avoid using adverbs in
dialog tags, he noted furiously, how to present plot in a cogent
fashion, what the 7 basic conflict plots are, all that academic stuff
— but you can’t teach someone how to be creative or compelling in
their fiction.

He shares some particularly scary examples of students who will never be published (at least  not without writing a check to iUniverse).

I tend to agree with him that you can’t teach creativity…or even basic story sense.  I’ve had a few students over the years in our online course who simply couldn’t comprehend what a story is. They couldn’t grasp the concept of "franchise"  and "conflict or why you couldn’t tell a story on MONK in the same way you would on, say, CSI. " Those students could take a thousand classes and it won’t change a thing. They will never be TV writers.

On the other hand, I’ve just finished teaching a course for the UCLA Extension was wowed by how creative, bright, and genuinely talented my students were.  Not because of what I taught them, but because they were born writers. I  just introduced them to a structure and way of thinking about story that they didn’t know before. There were one or two who struggled…but I think they’ll get the  hang of it.

Lori’s Ever-Changing Claims

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Lori Prokop, online huckster and the originator of the Book Millionaire scam, posts this claim on her website:

“I’ve never seen anything like your four hour book signing at Barnes and Noble in Las Vegas. More than 1,174 people gladly stood in line for hours to meet you, buy your book and have them autographed. The line wove through the aisles of the store. Barnes and Noble
removed floor displays to make room for your book buyers. The Las Vegas NBC
affiliate covered the event and said they had never seen anything like it.
That’s amazing in Las Vegas, the city of excitement and entertainment.”
— Tali Mauai, Co-Author of the audio book
From Zero to Hero

I thought it was pretty amazing too. So, in the spirit of fairness
and accuracy, I checked into Lori Prokop’s claim (made through Tali Mauai) with friends in Las Vegas and my book industry sources and, as far I can tell, there was never any such booksigning event for her at a B&N there in the last five years nor the corresponding booksales that she implies she made. Perhaps she would be kind enough to provide the
exact date of the event and specific store where it took place so we can corroborate her claim?

Oddly enough, Lori uses the same claim from Tali, slightly reworded, to push her "Chiropractic Best Seller Book Program," a scheme to convince chiropractors that it would be a good idea to pay her vanity press to publish their articles and books. Note the significant differences (which I’ve boldfaced and italicized) between the two versions of the claim:

"I’ve never seen anything like our four hour book signing at Barnes and Noble in Las Vegas. More than 1,100 people gladly stood in line for hours to meet us, buy our book and have them autographed. The line wove through the aisles of the store. Barnes and Noble removed floor displays to make room for our book buyers. I felt like a local celebrity and my life has never been the same. I love it. The Las Vegas NBC affiliate covered the event and said they had never seen anything like it. That’s amazing in Las Vegas, the city of excitement and entertainment.” Tali Mauai, bestselling co-author, Zero to Hero

There is yet a THIRD version (again, with the differences in italic and bold-face) of the quote, this time pushing her seminars that will allow you to  "discover your powers to heal yourself, achieve abundance and create what you want in your life."

“Lori, I’ve never seen anything like your four-hour
book signing at Barnes & Noble in Las Vegas.
More than 1,100 people stood in line for hours
to meet your authors, buy their books and have
them autographed. Barnes & Noble removed floor
displays to make room for your book buyers.
National media covered the event and said they
had never seen anything like it.” Tari Mauai, Bestselling Author, from Zero to Hero.

I wonder which quote is "the truth."  Again, perhaps Lori would be kind enough to clarify for us exactly when which author, selling what book,  had this mobbed Las Vegas booksigning that made members of the local (or it was it national? Perhaps even GLOBAL) press corps faint with astonishment.

A Vacation in the Badlands

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I took a vacation — a day-trip, if you will. It’s 1:30 in the morning and I  just finished reading Richard S. Wheeler’s western novel BADLANDS, the story of a group of naive paleontologists researching fossils in the heart of the Sioux nation. It’s not nearly as dry a story as that description sounds… though I’m choking on the dust kicked up by Wheeler’s remarkably vivid, and yet keenly economical, prose. I couldn’t go to bed without getting to the end. Yes, I know it’s a cliche, but it’s the truth. He’s taken a surprisingly fresh and unique approach to a time-worn and familiar set-up, the foolhardy easterners led into the untamed west by a wizened, half-Indian guide. But there’s a good reason why Richard S. Wheeler is considered a legend in western literature. He takes the seemingly familiar and makes it brand new by leading you to what appears to be a cliche or stereotype — and deftly playing on your expectations, twists them and takes you instead to a realization of character or place that you didn’t see coming. Don’t let the traditional, western cover fool you.  BADLANDS is more about science, religion, and culture than it is about horses, injuns and shootouts and I loved every minute of it…and found the relaxation and escape I craved to recharge myself creatively for the tasks that lay ahead (it was far more satisfying than Larry McMurtry’s TELEGRAPH DAYS, which I read a couple of months back).  Now I have to tackle Richard’s beloved Skye series from book one onward…and considering how many there are, that alone could end up being a lifetime pursuit.

Another Reason to Love Hard Case Crime

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The folks over at Hard Case Crime have unearthed an unpublished novel by David Dodge (TO CATCH A THIEF) entitled THE LAST MATCH, which he wrote shortly before his death in 1974. The manuscript was lost among his papers… until now. Hard Case has announced that they will publish the book in October:

THE LAST
MATCH opens
with echoes of TO CATCH A THIEF, as a handsome criminal spars with a
beautiful heiress on the beaches of the south of France. From there, though, Dodge takes readers
on a sprawling international adventure, from cigarette smuggling in Tangier to a
deadly trip by steamship up the Amazon River.

THE LAST MATCH is a grand romantic adventure of the sort you just don’t see anymore," said [Hard Case publisher] Charles Ardai. "It’s the story of an incorrigible crook racing around the globe to escape the woman who is out to reform him. Bullets fly, machetes slash through the jungle, suckers get fleeced, men win and lose fortunes, and maybe – just maybe – true love triumphs before the final curtain is rung down. But what sort of woman does it take to best the world’s slipperiest con man? All I can say is.just you wait and see."