Showkillers

I’ve said it here a couple of times before — Jason Gedrick and Eric Balfour are showkillers.  Apparently Alan Sepinwall, TV Critic for the Star-Ledger, agrees with me:

For professional purposes, Gedrick’s fascinating to me as the reigning
champion among active male Show Killers on television (Paula Marshall,
I believe, is the female titleholder at the moment), one of those
people who, year after year after year, winds up in a project that’s
destined to fail.

Alan analyzes each of Gedrick’s failures and offers his take on what went wrong.

24 coming to a theatre near you

24 is becoming a movie. Variety reports that Fox has signed creators Robert Cochran and Joel Surnow, and my old friend Howard Gordon, to write the movie, which will be produced by Brian Grazer.

Execs at 20th should have a draft of the script in their hands by early winter, insiders said. Once they see the script — and look at ratings for the first few episodes of season six, which kicks off in January — they’ll be able to make a decision on greenlighting production of the film.

Under the most optimistic scenario, feature would be greenlit early next year and lense next spring and summer during the hiatus between season six and a likely seventh season of "24."

Current plan calls for the "24" feature to abandon the real-time conceit of the TV show, making Sutherland’s Jack Bauer, rather than the clock, the star.

This success of 24 couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of guys. I only know Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran casually… we all worked on shows for Steve Cannell at the same time so we bumped into each other a lot in the Cannell building and prepping shows up in Vancouver.  But Howard Gordon and I have known each other for twenty years.

I still remember when Howard was running both a fax delivery business and a SAT preparation course out of his Venice apartment. Two of his SAT instructors were Conan O’Brien and Greg Daniels, showrunner of THE OFFICE…who were writing partners and working on NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS.

Howard and his then-writing partner Alex Gansa and Bill Rabkin & I all started out at the same time as freelancers on SPENSER FOR HIRE and grew up in the TV business together. 

Howard, Alex, Bill and I hung out a lot together during those earlier years but, as often happens, our lives got complicated and we saw each other less and less.  We all got busy on shows,  got married (though we all attended each others weddings), and three of us had kids. Now it’s been way too long since we’ve been in touch.  Even so, Bill and I carry on the tradition of naming a bad guy in every series we do "Gordon Gansa."

I’ve got to give Howard and Alex a call this week…

Remaindered

My short story REMAINDERED is now available on Amazon for a mere 49 cents.

Whether you are a bestselling author or a writer toiling in mid-list obscurity, your books will eventually end up remaindered to the bargain bin at Barnes & Noble. The fear, of course, is that your career will eventually end up remaindered, too. I got the idea for this dark-comic mystery while actually living the humiliating booksigning experience that opens the story….

Thingies II

So my 11-year-old daughter gets home from her "Human Growth and Development" class at school and has some questions about sex.

"Why does a man’s thingie have to get so big?"  she asked.

"So he can get his sperm inside of  a woman and fertilize the egg," I said.

"Couldn’t he just mail it to the woman so she could put it in herself?"

Not The Future

USA Today reports that writer/producer J. Michael Straczynski is successfully self-publishing collections of his BABYLON 5  scripts through a P.O.D. company.  The article suggests that this represents a turning point for P.O.D. self-publishing:

"There’s always been something of a stigma to print-on-demand, that it
was just a form of vanity publishing that could never produce financial
returns of significance," Straczynski says. "The B5 books are the first
to change this in a big way, showing that a writer can make as much or
more as with a major company."

[…] the first seven
volumes of The Babylon 5 Scripts of J. Michael Straczynski appear to be
among the top-selling titles, with fans snapping up more than 18,000
books since October. Each volume — with seven scripts plus production
notes and new introductions — runs about 450 pages.

At about $40 apiece ($30 in the first week of release), Straczynski
expects $1.5 million in total sales from the 14 planned volumes.

A large chunk will go to CafePress, the company that prints and ships
each book.

I’m not surprised he’s having some success. But does it represent the future of P.O.D. self-publishing? No. But it is an example of one of the rare cases where P.O.D. self-publishing can pay off and I’ll tell you why. 

Unlike 99.9% of the people attempting to self-publish, Straczynski essentially has a presold item. He’s selling scripts based on a long-running TV series that he wrote and created and that has been seen by millions of people all over the world. The show is continues to be seen in reruns and on DVD and has a huge cult following that’s primed to buy his book.

The same can’t be said of an average person trying to sell his novel as a self-published, P.O.D. title.  His underlying property hasn’t already been exposed and promoted to millions of people. His book isn’t riding on the advertising and promotion of TV reruns and sales of DVD box sets.  There isn’t a fan base already eager to buy the book.   

Straczynksi has all that.  Most people don’t.

There are many writer/producers who could do the same thing and probably enjoy similar success. There’s just one problem…one that the reporter for USA Today glossed over. In most cases, the writer-producers don’t have the right to self-publish their scripts from their TV shows and movies — those rights are retained by the studio. I’m assuming that Straczynski had to license the right to publish his scripts from Warner Brothers, which means the studio is getting a hefty fee and a percentage of any of his sales.

Unfortunately, there are aspiring authors who will be swayed by Straczynski’s unique experience and will get suckered by POD companies as a result.

DEADWOOD not quite Dead

Variety reports that writer-producer David Milch and HBO have agreed to wrap up DEADWOOD with a pair of two-hour movies. HBO balked at renewing the very expensive western (reportedly nearly $5 million an episode) and paying to hold the 20 regular cast members until Milch could produce new episodes (he’s added a second HBO series to his committments).

For Milch, keeping "Deadwood" alive in some form
saves him having to prematurely end the show or work with a truncated
fourth season of six episodes, which HBO had initially offered. He is said to have worked with the network over the
weekend to give "Deadwood" a proper conclusion.

"I am thrilled that we were
able to figure out a way to continue," Milch said in a statement. "No
one was ready to let go of the show, and I’m really glad we’ve found a
way to proceed that works creatively."

Thingies

I drove my 11-year-old daughter to school this morning. We were just about there when she groaned.

"Oh no, I just remembered. We have ‘Human Growth and Development’ today. And it’s right before recess!"

"So?" I said.

"Dad, I have a snack at recess."

"I don’t see the problem."

"How am I supposed to eat after hearing about people putting their thingies into thingies? It’s disgusting."

I don’t think I need to worry any time soon about her competing with her friends to give the best blowjobs.

Lost in Space

3artbar0
It’s been a big week for my sisters Linda Woods & Karen Dinino and their book VISUAL CHRONICLES. First, Rosie O’Donnell raved about their book on her blog (let’s hope she brings a copy with her onto THE VIEW) and then my sisters made an appearance at ArtBar in Santa Ana, where they signed books with fellow artist  & author Angela Cartwright, best known as Danny Thomas’ daughter on MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY and one of the Robinson clan in LOST IN SPACE. Can an appearance on THE TODAY SHOW be far behind for my celeb sisters?