I like praise as much as anybody else, but I also get twisted enjoyment sometimes out of reading reviews that trash my books. Here are some of my favorite one-star reviews of my work:
Quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. Skimmed through it so to save my brain cells from the most tabloid trash movie script effort of writing. My desperate need for a book still does not justify me actually turning the pages. Read the comics, you will be much better off and not have my need to flay myself for reading such trash.
Anytime it takes me four days to read a book is a sign it’s not going good.
This is such juvenile junk! The author of this trash has a sick, degraded mind.
this book is not something you can read to your mom or grandmom. The sexual references, while not too graphic, are still too embarrassing to be read aloud.
The only book I have deleted from my Kindle. Only gave it one star because there was no lower rating
This could have been a pretty good book except the author had to ruin it with the “f” word dozens of times & even used God’s name in vein a few times. Shame on you!!!!
Depressing to know the author is so widely read.
He’s about as funny as an uninvited guest standing in a corner with a lampshade over his head.
Terrible read. Dialogue was among silliest ever possibly strung together in one book. Looking forward to read the sequel soon.
This could have been a pretty good story line but the writer needs more imagination and a whole lot more English lessons. If I could give it less than one star I would. If he cleans up his act and works a little harder he may get to be a good writer but for now it’s a “don’t bother”
Mind-numbingly bad. We read books to entertain and stimulate our brains. This written by the numbers drivel will put it to sleep, induce a coma and flush all rational thought from your mind forever. Read at your own risk. You’ve been warned.
While Lee Child, Micheal Connelly and Joseph Wambaugh will never win Nobel Prizes, trash like this shows what good and articulate craftsmen they are.
Shame on you Lee Goldberg. I am done with anything with your name on it .
I haven’t read it yet — hopefully it is good
Too Daisy Duke for me!
14 thoughts on “My Favorite One-Star Reviews of My Books”
Any author who revels in bad reviews is my kind of guy (or gal). Don’t let ‘em get you down, Lee. Your books might not be Dostoevsky, but they’re smashing good reads and very entertaining!
You guys are cruel. I have just started reading it and totally enjoying the story line.
That’s good enough for me. “Sick, degraded mind,” “not something you can read to your mom,” “f” word dozens of times.” I’m sold! Just picked up my kindle edition. Promise me you’ll never clean up your act.
My favorites were #s 10, 12, and 14
Love the one star reviews… I personally love your mind numbing stuff!!! ***** star review
Haven’t read any of your other stuff but I’m on my second way through your Monk series now.
I love all the bad grammar in the 1* reviews: “. . . is a sign it’s not going GOOD,” “. . . has a sick DEGRADED (?) mind,” “. . . even used God’s name in VEIN(!),” “looking forward to READ the sequel soon.” And yet these are the people who willingly put themselves forward, in public, as book critics!
Lee, I’ve warned you about insulting the goddamned gods—and using that fuckin’ F-word’ll get you nowhere FAST.
Lee, keep writing! I enjoy reading your books! Disregard the one star reviews. How many exciting books have those who posted written?
I love the one-star readers that can’t spell. Maybe the Veritas Dios should go to a blood bank when his/her name is taken in ‘vein’. However, when its taken in vain why did that person read it in the first place? I think it’s odd that breaking one commandment deserves a one star, but reading a murder mystery ( thou shalt not kill) is okay. Life is weird. I’ve seen many one-star reviews complaining when the solution is the SAMPLE. If it is in the SAMPLE don’t buy the book and don’t leave a review.
Keep on writing don’t let the plebes get to you.
Just read a great funny book. Everyone’s a Critic by Bill Tancer. You’re joining the ranks. If you want to read some really funny ones check out Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer.
Has the one star reviewer ever written anything worth reading of their own? Seems it is very easy to criticize than create.
Hahahaha I love the one that says “He’s about as funny as an uninvited guest standing in a corner with a lamp shade over his head.” My husband wanted to meet you after the first one he read, “True Fiction”!
I love your books. You brightened my day. Thanks for the observations too funny.