My wife always wants to see something "light" on our date night. So she dragged me to both THE HONEYMOONERS and BEWITCHED. After enduring these two inane, laughless "reimaginings" of TV classics, I think both films should be formally classified as crimes against humanity and the film-makers brought in chains to The Hague. I also think Congress should pass a law making it a crime, from this point forward, to remake a TV series as a feature film ( a law which should have been enacted after the feature versions of THE AVENGERS or SGT. BILKO). It’s too late, I’m afraid, to save us from DUKES OF HAZZARD.
Lately, there’s been a lot of head-scratching in the trades about why boxoffice revenues are taking a steep dive. There’s a simple answer. Because movies these days suck. I don’t just mean these TV revivals, but movies in general. I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw a good Hollywood movie and, sicko that I am, I see just about everything (Yeah, I saw STAR WARS…and found myself rooting for the bad guys and wondering when George Lucas lost his writing talent. And yeah, I saw BATMAN BEGINS, and I couldn’t wait for BATMAN ENDS. It was boring and cliche-ridden).
Overall, there’s much better stuff on TV these days than there are in the theatres… so why would anybody want to pay a babysitter, endure the traffic, pay exorbinant ticket prices, get gouged for popcorn and soda (it’s cheaper to eat at Ruth’s Chris than my local Regal Cinema) put up with a noisy crowd and sit on sticky seats?
And the studios wonder why people are staying home?
(PS – I just thought of the last good movie I saw: it was either MILLION DOLLAR BABY or THE INCREDIBLES. How long ago was that??)